


The Hide Chooses The Champion

by WereKitte



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Alpha - Freeform, F/M, Fors Factorum Magic Cancer, Post Season 2, Tundra's a manipulative SOB, Vermish baby!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 140,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WereKitte/pseuds/WereKitte
Summary: Tundra reminisces on the past and devises a plan Hamish and Vera won't approve of.  (Aka...Kitte dove too deep down the plot bunny hole.)Meanwhile, Vera and the Knights are all struggling to make sense of recent events.  What can come next when you've lost everything that mattered?Edit: Since I'm not entirely sure how long this'll go on, I'll let you know the main concept of the story wraps up somewhere around chapter 50.  The rest is more of a continuation in this world.
Relationships: Hamish Duke/Vera Stone
Comments: 547
Kudos: 346





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ay yi yi yi. So this story is what happens when you leave Kitte alone with her thoughts for too long and she starts breaking down characters and plots and finding weird connections that probably don’t even exist. 
> 
> Just a note, I’m using the term “he” simply because Hamish is male. I don’t think the hides have a gender. I think the hides will use the pronouns for whatever the current or most recent champion is/was.
> 
> Also, Tundra’s thoughts do not necessarily equal Hamish’s or how certain events appear to everyone else. I think the wolves have been around for so long, “current” is relative. Little squabbles between Champions, etc, are pretty miniscule in the grand scheme of things.
> 
> Eek, so have fun!

Unlike his Champions, Tundra never slept. Even with the temporary loss of eyesight, his other senses managed just fine. He could still smell – the woodsy scent of the nearby forest, the lavender laundry detergent from the sheets, the lilac scented soap that didn’t entirely mask the lingering musk of sex, the complex blend of scents that were uniquely _her._ He could still hear – the distant call of an owl in the night, the small animals that scavenged outside the window, the sound of her quiet breathing beside him, the rhythmic thumping of her heartbeat. He could still feel – the cool silkiness of the sheets and the warm heaviness of the blankets, the weight of her arm over his stomach, her warm breath against his cheek. It was impossible not to be aware of his surroundings. It was impossible to ignore the witch.

By all accounts, Tundra had never paid much attention to the mates his Champions chose. He recognized a human’s need for companionship and urge to procreate, even if he never felt any of those desires himself. For all the wolves, it was a simpler existence. They were a family, bonded by magic. There was no need to seek out additional company and with no ability to create new werewolves for the pack, they had no desire to claim a mate.

The chosen mates and the distasteful offspring of their Champions had to be protected, of course. A distraught Champion was hardly useful, often becoming reckless, and Tundra preferred to hang on to his Champions for as long as possible. But while his chosen ones would always remain a part of him, the countless mates and pups were easily forgotten.

Except for this one. This one was different. Tundra was used to his Champions claiming weak-willed, weak-minded mates for themselves. Mates that they had to protect, like puppies. But the witch that his current Champion had selected was none of those things. Tundra had watched her closely from the start. Instinctively, he had recognized her as _worthy,_ the same way he recognized all of his past Champions. He had seen through to the truth of the woman, with her sharp, flexible mind, and every meeting since had confirmed his initial impression, as he knew it would.

It was truly novel. Never in his history had a Champion chosen a mate worthy of carrying Tundra’s shield herself. In a way, Tundra had come to think of her as a second Champion, of sorts. He could not bond with her, could not lend her his abilities or whisper into the back of her mind, while he was already bonded but he knew she was his next choice. A spare, in case anything happened to the current male.

And then the wheels of his mind began to shift.

The initial sprouts of an idea had been planted during the months his Champions had spent chasing Alpha’s newest Champion and her renegade band of magic users. The Champion had been an annoyance, that was true, her ideologies in almost direct contrast with that of the Knights. Even so, Tundra had seen the qualities in her that Alpha had always desired. The errant Champion was intelligent and calculating, with the patience Tundra himself required of his own chosen. She was courageous, though her self-assurance led to a bit of stupidity in his opinion, much like Greybeard. She was a powerful practitioner who would not act against her heart, like Silverback. Though a part of the pack she had created for herself, she never felt the need to rely on others, like Timber. And in the end, she was prepared to put her pack and their goals above herself, as was Midnight’s way. On top of it all, she had a way about her that made people chose to follow her. It was a marvel Alpha had found her at all.

Alpha had always been the pickiest of the wolves. Even during their earliest existence, when the Knights of the Blue Rose were exalted and the choosing of a new Champion was a time for great celebration, Alpha would let years and dozens of worthy candidates slip by.

And yet somehow, secluded from the rest of the pack, Alpha had found a Champion. Or rather, Alpha had raised one.

Tundra knew Alpha would not have devised the scheme. Tundra had always been Alpha’s second in command for a reason. While Alpha valued a cunning mind, the need for a more well-rounded Champion always warranted a trade off. And for Tundra, there was nothing he valued more. He was the strategist of the pack. While Silverback could protect them with brute force, while Midnight would do anything in her power to buy them time, Tundra was the one expected to find a way around the problem before they had to result to risking lives.

Alpha simply didn’t have a devious enough mind to purposely breed herself a new Champion. The thought would never have occurred to her until things had already fallen into place. The daughter had followed in the footsteps of the father and turned out to be exactly what Alpha had needed.

Tundra wanted to replicate that.

He wasn’t sure why the idea had never come to him before. So often, the wolves would wait years, even decades, between Champions. Especially in the time since they’d broken away from the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. And because of it, the Knights had been reduced to only a sliver of their former glory. Without the pool of hopeful candidates to select from, they had often been forced to make due with only a half-complete pack. In time, their Champions had slowly lost their ability to perform magic, leaving the Knights at an even greater disadvantage as they attempted to muscle through with only the enhanced abilities the hides lent them. The Champions began dying off at an alarming rate, slain by simple wounds that would have once been nothing more than a nuisance.

But now, after far too many years, the Champions had begun to turn themselves around. They were regaining the magic knowledge that had been lost. For the first time in ages, Tundra could see the day that the entire pack was in play once again. All they needed was their leader and, for the first time in decades, there had been a sighting. Alpha was near. They just needed to find the hide. Then they could find the Champion and they would be whole again.

And in the meantime, Tundra intended to ensure that the Knights would never dissolve into such pathetic disorder again. And first on his list was making certain that he would have a suitable Champion waiting for him when the time came. He would not be forced into dormancy again. And his Champions were going to provide him with the perfect opportunity.

Tundra had always been disinterested in the squirming, mewling pups that sometimes resulted from a Champion’s coupling but, for the first time, he felt almost gleeful at the idea of bringing up the offspring of such a mating. The decades he and his Champions could spend, carefully crafting the child into the perfect candidate. What a clever, clever mind such a candidate would possess, with two of Tundra’s own as its lineage and its tutors. It would be like the old days, when the new Champions were already accomplished in the ways of magic and were proud to bear the shield of a Knight.

It would take some time to accomplish. The Champions of this age were less malleable than in ages past, less willing to give their lives as well as their deaths to the cause. But Tundra had always been patient. He knew how to play the long game. He had been playing from the moment of his creation.


	2. Oculi veteres forma nova

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to establish a bit of a timeline here first. While season 1 apparently covered a full year, season 2 felt shorter to me. So in episodes one and two, classes had just begun and its mentioned that a month passes. So let’s say that covers the month of September to the start of October. The next SIX episodes are all bam bam bam. From the time the Knights start planning to steal from the vault until Rogwan was defeated felt like maybe a week at most. That immediately flowed into the Sons of Prometheus. I can’t imagine they waited very long to parlay so add a few more days for that, maybe another week tops? During that episode, Kepler was already calling for the Council to meet, which means that the next two episodes would have picked up right on the heels of the previous ones. So just for the sake of this story, let’s call that mid-October, when the wolves officially join the Order and Alyssa leaves. At the start of the final two episodes, Randall says that they’ve been following Praxis for three months. So that brings us to mid-January, which feels plausible enough to me. The last two episodes just felt more “cold season” to me vs bright, happy summer. So that’s what I’m going with for this. Season 2 ended in mid-January, this picks up some time in early February.
> 
> And yes, I’m going to go ahead and blend my ideas since I didn’t have anyone screaming no! lol. Updates will be a bit slower than my past stories, most likely. I’m back at my day job as of today, which cuts into my writing time, and this story is going to take a lot more finesse than my past writings. But essentially, Tundra’s, uh, chess game, is going to be the Vermish heavy part of this story and the other idea is my season 3 idea. Now that that will be more than just a few chapters, I need to at least mention and wrap up all the non-Vermish characters’ loose ends, even if it’s “off-camera”.

The echo of her heels against the stone tiled floor was dangerously loud but Vera couldn’t stop herself from pacing. She had already catalogued every artifact in the vault, already inspected each one for the tiniest blemish, arranged and rearranged every chest and shelf and table, and then she’d done it all again. Hamish kept suggesting she bring a book along. She didn’t know how he expected her to find the calm to do something as focused as _reading_ in a time like this.

It had to be the _stupidest_ idea those wolves had come up with yet. Unfortunately, she’d been incapable of coming up with a better solution on her own. She was the Grand Magus and the Grand Magus had to be visible. The Grand Magus had to lead the complex rituals that the Order regularly performed. The Grand Magus needed to have magic. Only Vera Stone did not.

The first attempt at a _Respondeo_ had shown them just how terrible her situation really was. Vera couldn’t even stand in her place and pretend. Her lack of magic represented a hole in the precise configuration of their circle, right at its head. The incantation failed. The only positive in the whole ordeal had come afterwards, when the realization of what this would cost her had hit her and left her feeling sick to her stomach. By all accounts, she had looked ill enough that the disciples had totally dismissed any other explanations for the faulty spell work. It had bought her a few days. A few days for scheming. A few days for useless praying to a god she wasn’t certain she even believed in anymore.

And somehow this had been the best anyone could come up with. It was pure lunacy, as well as her only hope. A fucking glamour spell. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it had been Randall’s idea. He’d been kidding, of course. And yet here they were, with her owing her continued existence to _Randall Carpio._

There had been no question as to which of them would be taking up her appearance. Nobody had even asked. The months they had spent in close proximity, both intimately and not, had left Hamish the only one knowledgeable enough to pull this off. Hamish was the only person who understood what it was that she did, who understood the sometimes-subtle difference between leading an incantation and simply being part of the circle. He was the only person prepared enough to step into her shoes. Quite literally, in some ways, because he was also the only person who recognized her little quirks, like the unconscious gestures her hands made when she spoke or the different inflections in her voice. Vera was certain anyone else would turn her into a caricature.

Vera automatically tensed when she heard steps right outside the door, before forcing herself to relax. It could only be Hamish. The pendants that allowed access through the corridor had always been kept locked away, accessible to only a few. Sure enough, the vault’s doors swung open and she saw herself enter. It was still disorienting to view herself from this angle, an out of body experience where she still occupied her own body.

“You’re cutting it close,” she snapped. She hated feeling so out of control and it left her even more short tempered than usual.

“I couldn’t leave in the middle of the incantation,” Hamish said. Vera flinched at the sound of her own voice speaking his words.

“You can’t risk turning back in public either. We need to work on our timing for next time.” 

“Maybe we can cut it closer in the beginning. You can do the prep work and then we can trade places right before it starts.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, grimacing. Conversing with herself completely unsettled her. She could hear Hamish begin stripping off her robes and she held a hand out to take them. When they left here, she would need to appear as if it had been her all along. “And don’t ruin that top. It was expensive.”

She could practically hear him roll his eyes but he’d ruined her clothes once before, when he’d transformed back into himself without changing out of her clothing first. And that was another reason Hamish was the _only_ person she would allow to pretend to be her. Her body was not a mystery to him. She didn’t feel the need to hide anything or declare anything off limits during those few hours. She was comfortable leaving her body in his hands, even if she was less comfortable depending on him to protect her life and career.

“Vera,” Hamish called, his voice once again deep and masculine.

She let out a small breath, relieved it was over for the time being. Hamish was only wearing a pair of boxers and she allowed herself a moment to take him in before he covered it all back up.

“Like what you see?” Hamish smirked, stepping into his pants.

Vera rolled her eyes. “Would I still be keeping you around if I didn’t?”

“Yes,” Hamish said simply. “Because you need me for more than my dashing looks.”

“Put your shirt back on,” Vera said, tossing it at him.

She shoved open the vault door and walked out. He didn’t need to remind her that she needed him. She was reminded of it every single day. Hamish was by her side more often than not these days, subtly covering for her lack of magic with whispered incantations of his own. There had only been one other time in her life when she’d felt so completely helpless.

“Vera,” Hamish called, jogging to catch up to her. His vest was still unbuttoned, a dark handkerchief half tucked into a pocket. He always wore one these days, though it was for convenience rather than appearance. Because once again, his werewolf abilities had come in handy in helping deceive the Order, in unexpected ways. His rapid healing meant that nobody ever noticed the quick slash of a claw across his palm, right before he whispered the words she spoke aloud. And then the dark handkerchief, to quickly wipe away any lingering blood.

It was risky. Far riskier than either of them had anticipated. And yet she knew she couldn’t do it without him.

Hamish gestured and the secret doors to the Reliquary cranked open. Nicole Birch waited beside the desk, their Hamish Duke for the day.

Vera couldn’t have done it without any of them.


	3. Excursum inter duo regna formetur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just since there was a comment on it, I figured I’d answer for everyone, I worked out the timeline of season 2 before writing this story just because that’s one of my quirks. It doesn’t have any huge effect on anything, as far as the current storyline goes. I’m just big on having a rough timeline (or sometimes incredibly detailed. I’ve filled out an entire calendar before!) sketched out any time I work on bigger projects because accuracy is important to me and literally nothing drives me crazier in a story than contradictions and lack of continuity. Then I just figured I’d mention it at the start since I did have it plotted out and all.

If there was one thing Hamish had learned recently, it was that Vera Stone was superwoman. It didn’t even have to do with her loss of magic, though of course he admired the way she didn’t give up and let it break her. She kept fighting, finding ways to maintain her position in the Order, ways to hide her lack of magic from everyone around her. She spent hours half-buried beneath stacks of books, searching for a Hail Mary of a fix. More than once, he’d shown up at her home only to find the entire floor littered in books and scrolls and loose paper and Vera sitting, cross legged, somewhere in the middle of the research cyclone. Her determination was remarkable but that wasn’t what impressed him.

It was the unbelievable amount of pressure she put on herself, just on a day to day basis. He had secretly taken over her job as Grand Magus less than a month ago and already he was exhausted. He’d been called to the Temple more times in the last week than he had in the whole month of December. And to think, back then he’d assumed he’d been included in the majority of Order business. How wrong he had been. Vera took it upon herself to handle every incident, no matter how minor. Whether it was a disagreement between disciples, an incantation gone wrong or a too public display of magic, Vera was there. And now so was Hamish. They could never be too careful and Hamish was unwilling to leave Vera powerless and unprotected. All it would take was one time. One little spell, no matter how simple, that Vera would be unable to perform. Being caught off-guard just once meant the gig would be up and it would all be over. Hamish had never been so stressed. And he didn’t even have to cover for her day job…

“You’re late.” Vera’s voice came from somewhere towards the back of her house, likely one of the spare bedrooms where she stored the books she’d borrowed from the Reliquary.

“Sorry, class ran late.” In actuality, he’d had several students come to him afterwards with questions about their upcoming papers and Hamish had had to rush off right after class so often lately, that he’d felt bad and stayed an extra hour to make up for his lack of assistance the past few weeks. “I did grab us dinner though,” he called back.

“I already ate.” And of course, she was angry with him.

“Toast doesn’t count, Vera,” he told her. He had smelled the lingering heat of the toaster, along with traces of peanut butter, as soon as he’d walked in. He could also bet she’d gotten distracted and he’d find a cold, half-eaten plate of toast forgotten on a shelf somewhere later.

Hamish set the bag down on the table and started pulling out containers of dumplings, soups and the seafood curry Vera always ordered. He started to count down in his head as he gathered silverware and plates from her cabinets. Five…Four…Three…

“Thai?” Vera was quicker than he’d guessed. She was lingering near the hallway that led back to the bedrooms, arms crossed, but he could see her eyeing the food with interest.

“From Merlion,” he confirmed.

Vera huffed and didn’t say anything but she walked over to the table and sat down, holding a hand out for the silverware.

“Anything to drink?” he asked.

“Something strong,” she grumbled.

Hamish arched a brow. “Did something happen?” Typically she was winding down when she was at home. Even the endless research that he often had to pry her away from didn’t leave her too terribly irritated.

She waved a hand. “Nothing new. Drink first. Then I’ll catch you up to speed.”

By the time he returned, drink in hand, Vera had already sorted the food onto their plates and started in. He set her glass in front of her and took the seat to her right.

“I had another conference call with the Council,” she began without asking.

“What was it this time?”

“It started with them pushing me to appoint a new Temple Magus for Belgrave,” she said between bites. It wasn’t an uncommon request from the Council lately. Now that Praxis had mostly fizzled out, the Council felt Vera needed to step away from Belgrave and start focusing on the Order as a whole.

“So naturally, you delayed,” Hamish finished for her. Unbeknownst to them, Vera needed Belgrave. Or more specifically, she needed the Knights who called Belgrave their home. She couldn’t have a new Magus snooping around and risk revealing the truth of her magic. And truthfully, even if Vera had her magic, Hamish didn’t like the idea of a new Temple Magus. The wolves were used to Vera. If there was someone new in charge, even if they were technically under Vera’s command, would that person even be willing to work with the Knights?

“Naturally,” she said, picking up her glass and sipping at it in an attempt not to clench her jaw. “They think I should be focusing more of my attention on other matters, like Kepler, who is _still_ MIA. I swear, I’m going to kill Bitsy the next time I see her.”

Hamish had to force himself not to tense up at the mention of the Council Head. Honestly, he hadn’t been aware of _how_ exactly Randall had made the spell work. He hadn’t wanted to think about it at the time. Maybe some part of him secretly hoped Randall had tracked down some Praxis practitioner, someone they didn’t know and wouldn’t be missed by the Order. It wasn’t until he’d walked into the Temple a couple days later, only to find Vera bitching about Kepler going missing, that he’d realized. He’d almost given it away right then and probably would have, if Vera hadn’t been so furious that she’d missed the panicked expression on his face. Every day since, he’d wanted to tell her the truth but fear of what would then happen to Randall held him back.

“What are they thinking?” Hamish asked, forcing his voice to stay cool.

She tossed her hands up in frustration. “Hell if I know. _Something_ happened. We can all assume that much. Kepler’s a bitch but she wouldn’t have abandoned Maddox like that for no reason.” She half-sighed, half-growled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And I _have_ tried to look for her. The Council has tried. Tracking spells don’t work. Wherever she is, she’s hiding. Or someone is hiding her from us. But with no leads at all, and no magic, I’m at a loss. And I can’t tell the Council that without raising more questions.” She picked up her glass again and gulped down half in one go. “They’re talking about putting together a team to officially investigate her disappearance.”

Now he understood why she was so pissed off. If the Council put together a team, they’d be sticking their noses into everything. Vera would be investigated, the Knights, the Belgrave chapter, Praxis, every single move and event that had taken place prior to Kepler’s disappearance. For Vera, the primary concern was that someone would realize she no longer had her magic. For Hamish, the concern was much greater. Vera hadn’t seen it yet, either because she was too distracted or she simply assumed the wolves were all smart enough not to do something so stupid. But a group of people solely interested in finding out what had happened, a group of people who did _not_ trust the wolves the way Vera did, that was going to be a problem. Hamish needed to talk to the rest of the pack.

“I can’t stay tonight.” Hamish had waited until after they’d finished eating, until Vera was back in the middle of her research, nose buried in a book, before telling her.

Vera looked up, clearly annoyed. “Really?” she said flatly.

“I haven’t been back to the Den in almost a week. I need to check up on the others.” It was a half-truth. He did need to make sure the whole pack wasn’t self-imploding. Texts and the occasional run in on campus weren’t enough. Not when Lilith was…whatever she was. Not when Jack was still reeling from the loss of Alyssa. Not when their newest member seemed to have minimal control over the hide she now wore, as well as far too much guilt over what Midnight had done. Only Randall seemed okay, and he had killed someone only weeks ago, someone that could prove to have far reaching consequences.

Hamish knew he should have been there more. He had been their leader once, was supposed to still be. But he could only be in so many places at once, he only had so many hours in the day, and his priority had to be keeping Vera safe. Because if Vera wasn’t safe, none of them were.


	4. excursus apertus est

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day! Also got a bit of the next several chapters plotted out today, including Tundra’s chess game, Hamish figuring it out, someone else figuring it out. I’m having fun with some of the discussions/comments that are popping up around it. Lol. 
> 
> And just a random thought, does anyone have a preference on chapter length? These stories are actually the first time I’ve tried shorter chapters and I can probably update quicker this way, but I’m curious what y’all prefer to read. These mostly 1-2k word chapters or 4k+ chapters?

“Our fearless leader returns!” Randall greeted Hamish sarcastically. “Did mommy finally unground you? Do you have a curfew?”

Hamish punched Randall’s shoulder. “Shut up,” he said affectionately. “You know Vera’s lost her magic. Someone has to be there so no one else finds out.”

“Because that would be so sad,” Lilith called from the living room.

“It would, actually,” Hamish called back. He shoved Randall and got him moving towards the rest of the gang. “Without Vera, the Order elects a new Temple Magus _and_ a new Grand Magus. What are the chances they’re going to be pro-werewolf?”

Lilith shrugged, backing down. “And not anti-demon,” she admitted, the red symbols that surrounded her left eye as visible as ever.

“I _am_ working on…everything,” Hamish said vaguely. It was true, he had been researching ways to help Lilith, although granted not in the same way Lilith was expecting. Hamish looked around. “Is Jack here?”

Lilith rolled her eyes. “He’s in the forest again.” She shuddered, cringing. “At that creepy ass tomb he built.”

“Can someone go get him?” Hamish sighed. He felt bad for the kid. He knew what it felt like to lose someone you loved. He’d at least had time with Cassie, even if it hadn’t been enough. Jack had gotten a handful of moments, scattered through a year and a half of wanting each other.

Randall sighed and headed back for the front door. “I’ll go whistle for him.”

Hamish wanted to tell Randall not to call for Jack like he would a dog but well, the werewolves did have excellent hearing and Hamish had been gone a lot. Maybe Jack _had_ agreed to have someone whistle to signal him.

Randall hadn’t even returned from his shrill, ear-piercing whistling before Gabrielle started marching down the stairs. “What the hell, Randall?! Do you always have to be so loud? Some of us are trying to study.” She always reminded Hamish a bit of a chihuahua at first, all puffed up and overly vocal. Something you wanted to pat on the head and tell to calm down, it wasn’t as scary as it thought it was. As it turned out, her bite _did_ in fact match her bark, even before Midnight had chosen her.

“We all know you were napping, babe,” Randall called back. “And I had to. Hamish wanted the pack together and Jack is off in the woods doing who knows what again.”

Gabby visibly cringed when Randall mentioned napping. Hamish guessed it was because it was the truth. Randall had mentioned that Gabrielle had trouble sleeping at night, often waking up screaming. Hamish wasn’t sure if the nightmares were about Alyssa or being trapped in the Collective Unconscious or something else entirely. It wasn’t his place to ask if Gabby didn’t want to tell. Of course, it could have just been Randall calling her babe…

“Sorry, Gabby,” Hamish apologized.

She brushed him off. “Whatever. So why did Vera kick you out?”

“She didn’t-” Was that really what they all thought? That he was only here because Vera didn’t want him to stay with her? “There’s something I need to talk to all of you about.” He saw Randall’s eyes light up and rushed to add, “It’s not about Vera.”

“So what’s up, Ham-”

“Don’t,” Hamish cut him off, not wanting to hear the name of the day. “And we should wait for Jack.”

“You’re no fun anymore,” Randall said before going and plopping down on the couch beside Lilith. He leaned over, his shoulder bumping hers. “Whatcha reading?”

Across the room, Gabrielle scowled.

Jack finally appeared some ten minutes later. Like Gabrielle, he had dark circles under his eyes these days. Unlike Gabrielle, he didn’t cover his up with makeup. He looked terrible.

“Hamish,” Jack greeted, giving a wan smile. “It’s been awhile.”

“I know. Sorry. Things have been hectic.”

“It’s cool,” he said. He looked around at the gathered pack. “But I’m guessing you’re not just here to catch up.”

Hamish sighed and shook his head. “No. We might have a problem.”

Randall echoed his sigh dramatically. “Did Mama Magus finally decide we’re too much trouble and decide to put us down?”

Hamish glared at him. “Not yet, but she might when she finds out about Kepler.”

Randall suddenly sat up straighter. “We said we weren’t going to talk about that. We all agreed.”

“That was before. The Council keeps pressuring her to look into it-”

“Then throw her off the scent!” Randall cut in.

Lilith nodded. “She’s going to need you to do the magic for her anyways. Sabotage it.”

“Guys, please!” Hamish raised his voice over theirs. “Just listen first. Vera’s not who I’m worried about. The Council is talking about putting together their own investigative team now. It’s been weeks now with no progress.”

Gabrielle looked around the room, her gaze lingering on Randall and Lilith for a long moment before yanking away. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“Kill the investigators?” Lilith suggested. “I learned a few tricks in the demon realm. They wouldn’t know it was werewolves.”

“No,” Hamish groaned. “No killing anyone. It’ll be bad enough if they do send a team here. I asked Vera about it. The team would be made up of experienced adepti, probably all magus level in strength. This wouldn’t be us dodging around a bunch of college age trainees like usual. And if they start digging, who knows what else they might find? Vera’s powers? _Lilith,”_ he said, shooting her a significant look. Vera had given them a lot of leeway since Lilith’s return, allowing them to keep her sequestered away at the Den, trusting them to keep an eye on her and make sure nothing happened, either to Lilith or anyone around her.

“So what do we do?” Randall asked, echoing Gabby’s previous words.

“I think we need to tell Vera,” Hamish said.

Randall’s jaw clenched and he ground his teeth unhappily. “I knew you were going to say that,” he growled.

“Hamish is right,” Jack spoke up. All eyes turned to him. “She’s helped us before. We need to trust that she will again.”

“She’s also a _liar,”_ Lilith said. “Unless you’ve forgotten about the Vade Maecum.” Someone, probably Randall, had filled Lilith in on that little tidbit right after she’d returned. She’d been absolutely furious, threatening to rip Vera’s head off the next time she saw her. Of course, Hamish suspected that was mostly because it had been right after she’d been told about Alyssa. He suspected there was a part of Lilith that felt guilty for not being able to be there for her friend.

Jack’s gaze dropped, his jaw tightening slightly. “If you’re talking about Alyssa…I’m trying not to make any judgements there. For either of them.”

Lilith huffed and looked away. “I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Yeah, I don’t either,” Randall said slowly.

“Guys, I think she’s the only one who can actually help us get away with this. She’ll know how these guys work. She’ll be the only one able to get information from them during the investigation. We’d be flying blind without her.”

“And if she decides to just turn me over instead?” Randall asked.

“…she won’t,” Hamish said, unsure if he believed it himself. He wanted to say Vera wouldn’t do that. He wanted to trust her, completely. And maybe if Vera still had her magic, he would have. But Vera had secrets of her own now and Hamish couldn’t say whether she’d give up Randall, just to close the investigation as quickly as possible. He couldn’t promise that Vera wouldn’t turn over Randall. He could promise that he would do everything in his power to convince her otherwise.

“Wow. I’m so convinced,” Randall said dryly.

“It’s our best chance,” Hamish said. Randall held his gaze, his expression serious for once.

“Just…give me a heads up if she decides to kill me instead. Maybe I can disappear to Canada or something.”

Hamish nodded once. He could absolutely do that.

Randall let out a huge sigh, letting the tense moment pass. “So Ham-sandwich, how about that rematch?”

“Only if I can use sprite instead,” Hamish agreed.

Randall rolled his eyes. “So, so boring,” he said with a grin.


	5. Inveniatur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Productive weekend! Woo. haha. Weekday updates may be slower, depending on how much time I can find to write and how exhausted I am readjusting my schedule. I am such a night owl (I'm usually posting updates at midnight, 1 am. lol) so being forced to wake up early again sucks!

“We should include Luiz. They stayed close over the years.”

“You really want to drag Luiz all the way here from _Brazil?”_ Vera argued. “For a search party?” She’d been on a conference call with the entire Council for over an hour while they debated specifics for the investigative team. Names had been thrown out. Names had been crossed off. And Vera had argued every step of the way.

“Vera, we’re not doubting your abilit-”

_“Grand Magus,”_ Vera growled.

“Of course. Apologies, Grand Magus. But please, don’t think of this as an insult to you and your… _team.”_ The word came off strangled, as it so often did when people referred to the Knights. “We do appreciate your looking into Councilor Kepler’s disappearance yourself. We’re only trying to help.”

It was a load of crap. Vera know it. The Council knew it. Kepler had fought her at every turn from the moment she became Acting Grand Magus and the Gnostic Council had never been on Vera’s side in those arguments. They said their pretty words, only because Vera was still Grand Magus and they assumed she was still capable of being a threat if they openly went against her.

“Then why are you taking this investigation away from me?” Vera said venomously. It was true, she had dropped the ball a bit initially but it wasn’t like she didn’t have half a dozen other emergencies going on at the same time. And come on, it was _Kepler._ She was a total bitch most days and a thorn in Vera’s side every other day, but she hadn’t made it to Head Councilor on her charm. Bitsy could take care of herself. At least, that’s what Vera had originally believed.

“Grand Magus,” someone said, somewhat patronizingly. “The team would be yours to command, of course. Just think of them as extra bodies to help with the search.”

That was exactly what Vera had wanted to hear. The moment the Council had suggested the investigative team, she’d known she wouldn’t be able to convince them out of it. What she could do was make certain they answered directly to her and not the Gnostic Council.

“Well, I still don’t want Luiz,” Vera said. She had nothing against the Brazilian practitioner but Luiz and Bitsy were good friends. While Vera fully intended to begin putting more effort into the search, she wanted to avoid recruiting anyone who would be searching with a dogged determination of their own. She wanted outsiders, people not personally invested in the case. Not friends.

There were several heavy sighs and groans but finally acquiescence. “Fine. No Luiz. So that leaves us in agreement on…” The Councilor continued listing off names as voices outside the Reliquary doors grabbed Vera’s attention.

“The Grand Magus asked not to be disturbed,” a shrill, panicky voice of a medicum was saying as she approached.

“She won’t mind,” Hamish was insisting patiently.

Vera could hear them getting closer and she partially tuned out the ramblings of the Councilors in her ear. The door creaked open, not by magic but a gentle shove so the two disciples were just visible behind the crack. The girl stuck her head inside, even as Hamish reached over her and pushed the door open further.

“I’m so sorry. I told him not to bother you, Grand Magus,” the medicum apologized profusely.

Vera eyed the two of them with dry amusement. _It’s fine,_ she mouthed, waving Hamish inside. The medicum’s eyes got wide but then the girl half-bowed and backed away. Hamish looked at her curiously, eyeing the phone she was holding a few inches away from her ear. _The Council,_ she mouthed at him, rolling her eyes.

“No!” Vera suddenly jumped back into the conversation. “I said no to the New Orleans Ashley Brown. It was yes to the California one, the one currently living in Nevada.” Damn Councilors trying to sneak one past her. She didn’t entirely trust the New Orleans Chapter. They tended to push the boundaries more than the other Chapters, dipping more than just a toe into things like Necromancy and other nastier magics. Vera wasn’t comfortable with the idea of having one of those practitioners snooping around anywhere near Belgrave.

“My mistake,” the Councilor lied easily. “Let me correct that…alright. So we’re all in agreement then?”

Vera huffed. “I suppose.”

“We’ll start making the arrangements then. Your new team should be with you by the end of the week.”

“I look forward to it,” Vera said with false cheeriness. She slammed her phone down on the desk. “The Council has named their investigative team,” she told Hamish through gritted teeth. “They will be here by the end of the week.” She looked up at Hamish expectantly, only to find he wasn’t carrying a drink this time. She gave him an annoyed look. “Nothing for me today?”

“So what does that mean?” Hamish asked, ignoring her question.

“Drink first,” she said wearily.

Vera had collapsed into her chair and allowed her eyes to shut for a few minutes while she waited for Hamish to return. She had less than a week to sort this out. Not Kepler’s disappearance, she didn’t expect to actually solve that in just a few days after weeks of no luck…granted her attempts up ‘til then had been rather half-assed. But she needed to figure out what direction the investigation would be going and preferably how to guide it away from all the little problems currently surrounding herself and her pack of wolves. She needed to figure out how to keep them _on track_ and not poking around in her business.

A glass clinked against the desk and Vera opened her eyes again to find Hamish standing beside her. She sighed and sat up again, reaching for whatever bourbon creation awaited her. She rarely made requests anymore. Hamish knew her preferences and, in all honesty, she couldn’t think of anything she had disliked thus far.

“Thanks,” she muttered, taking a sip. “I need you to put whoever you can spare on Kepler’s disappearance,” she said with a sigh. “I want to give the investigative team a lead to follow, if we can find one. Or at least a reason not to spend too much time at the Temple.”

“Vera…”

Hamish’s low tone broke her out of her thoughts instantly. Hamish was still standing just to her right, only his gaze was fixed on the floor, his face solemn. Vera stood and faced him, needing to feel on more even footing. “What aren’t you telling me?” she asked, her voice dark and low.

Hamish took a deep breath, in and out through his nose. Vera watched his chest rise and fall and her hands clenched until her nails dug into her palms. “Kepler’s dead,” Hamish told her.

“Who?” Vera hissed.

“Randall. The spell to bring back Lilith required the sacrifice of a witch.”

Vera didn’t know what to say. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly as the rage inside her built. Of all the _stupid, idiotic, dangerous_ stunts those wolves had pulled, this one had to be the worst. Grabbing Hamish by the arm, she yanked him towards the secret passageway. Hamish caught on to what she was doing and waved a hand, opening the doorway before she had to fumble for the damn button.

Vera didn’t wait to reach the vault before she turned on him. “What the _fuck_ was he thinking? _Kepler?!_ Is he actually insane? Did he really think no one would notice a _Council member_ disappearing? Did he think any of this through? Did you? Tell me you didn’t know about this-”

“Not until after,” Hamish interjected.

Vera paused for a moment to glare at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she ground out.

Hamish arched a brow and Vera let out a bitter laugh. As if he had any right to try and look blameless here… “Maybe because we knew you’d react like this?”

“How am I supposed to act? Happy?” she asked angrily. “You _killed a member of the Gnostic Council,_ Hamish. You and your pack of half-trained dogs! The Council is sending a fucking search party out here to look for her!” Vera turned and stalked the rest of the way to the vault. “God damn it!” she shrieked. The moment they were inside, she spun on him again. “Maybe if you’d told me, we could have done something about this,” she hissed. “But now _it’s too late._ In less than a week, we are going to have half a dozen trained practitioners at our backs and we don’t have any other leads to give them now!” she said, her voice steadily raising in pitch. She turned and started pacing, wracking her brain for any way out of this.

“You would have covered for us?” Hamish asked quietly.

Vera stopped and glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. _“Yes,_ you idiot. It’s my ass on the line here too.” Vera huffed loudly, struggling to reign in her temper. “It was my idea to bring the Knights into the Order, against _everybody’s_ wishes. So that means every _stupid_ decision you morons make falls back onto me. That means either I help you cover up any idiotic mistakes you make, or I give up this whole crazy idea and just kill you all. And unfortunately, I don’t think that’s even an option they’ll accept anymore.” Vera looked up at the ceiling and grit her teeth. Stupid, fucking werewolves.

She could sense Hamish behind her, even before he gingerly set his hands first on one arm and then the other. Vera stood tensely, not willing to give into him and yet not ready to pull away either.

“I’m sorry,” Hamish whispered into her ear. “I didn’t know what we could do about it and I was worried for Randall. So I didn’t tell you. I should have, I know that.”

“Sorry’s don’t do us much good now, Mr. Duke,” Vera told him.

“Don’t do that,” Hamish breathed. He tugged at her, pulling her a fraction closer. One hand carefully slipped from her arm, moving to wrap around her stomach instead. Vera shut her eyes but didn’t fight him. “Don’t push me away, Vera.”

Vera took in a breath and let it out slowly. She pulled out of his embrace, letting her hand catch his along the way. There was a half empty table on one side of the room, one they’d used more than once for other activities when the mood struck, and Vera pulled him over to it. She hopped up onto the edge and waited for him to sit beside her.

“I don’t know if we can hide this,” Vera admitted. “It is far too late for a _respondeo._ I don’t even know if that would have worked in the first place. But the wheels are already in motion.”

“So what are you thinking?” Hamish asked, taking her hand up again.

“Send someone to check out the garage where she went missing. Ms. Dupree and Mr. Morton, perhaps. Do _not_ send Mr. Carpio. We don’t want anyone recognizing him if he was seen before. Check for _any_ signs of werewolves. It’s been a few weeks so it would mostly be hard evidence. Claw marks and such. Question Mr. Carpio, hard, about whether there’s any possibility he was spotted. I’ll arrange to talk with Maddox Coventry again. I don’t believe he saw anything but I want to be sure nothing he says will lead them to suspect you.” Vera sighed. “And then we start trying to bury everything we don’t want them to find here. We need everything to appear as normal as possible. Hopefully then they won’t linger here long.”

“Thank you,” Hamish said.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Vera told him. Pressing her lips together, Vera let her gaze flicker up and down the younger man. “I could use a drink, Mr. Duke.” What she could use was something to take the edge off and well, Hamish Duke worked better than any cocktail.

Hamish chuckled and hopped down off the table. Vera started to pout dramatically, making him chuckle again. His thumb reached up to brush against her lower lip. “Such a needy little thing,” he teased, stepping forward until his legs bumped against the table. Vera grabbed the front of his vest and pulled him to her. The least he could do was make her feel better after pissing her off.


	6. Inveniatur Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay yi yi, this chapter took some serious work. When I reached about 5000 words and still wasn't done, I scrapped it and started over. So I've got about a million little details about these characters that now I haven't even bothered to name here, because y'all don't need all the boring details about characters that aren't sticking around long. lol. But it was fun to let Vera interact with people that are more her peers. Other than with Kepler, she's usually stuck in the leader/teacher position so having people treat her more like a friend was kind of fun to write. I scrapped soooo much when I started whittling this chapter down.
> 
> Next chapter is looking like it'll be a quick Tundra update. Hopefully he'll cooperate for me and I can get it up tomorrow.

Hamish headed for the Temple, feeling more nervous than he had in years. The six adepti that would make up the investigation team were supposed to have arrived throughout the day and had planned to gather at the Temple. That meant Vera had been there, alone, all day to greet them. Hamish had wanted to cancel all his classes for the day but Vera had refused, insisting she could handle a few hours of chatting on her own and pointing out that it would be weird for her to have a magistratus hanging around her all day.

Unfortunately, that meant Hamish had spent the day envisioning worst case scenarios. The adepti would walk in and immediately notice Vera’s lack of magic. Or they’d ask too many questions about the Knights and become suspicious. Or they’d mention the many disagreements between Vera and Kepler and suspect she had something to do with the disappearance. Hamish was terrified he’d walk in and find Vera being interrogated, unable to protect herself. Even the occasional texts he’d received throughout the day hadn’t eased his nerves.

He shouldn’t have worried.

Hamish could hear the sound of laughter the moment he entered the Temple. Not the false, tinkling laugh of someone trying to be polite either. People were genuinely laughing, voices rising and falling over each other as the adepti caught up with old friends and got introduced to new ones. And there was Vera, right in the middle of it, champagne glass in hand. She looked relaxed.

Hamish took a few moments to take in the room before he was noticed. The majority of the team seemed to be late thirties to forties, save for a distinguished looking man with greying black hair who stood more to the side of the gathering, chatting with an older Asian woman. Vera was chatting with three men and a bubbly blonde woman in a grey business skirt suit. Vera kept laughing, her eyes crinkling with genuine amusement. The blonde slugged one of the men playfully and Vera leaned forward, setting her own hand on the man’s upper arm, while she made some presumably witty comment.

Hamish was surprised to find that he felt…no, he wasn’t going to call it jealously. Hamish Duke was _not_ jealous of a _touch._ Or a laugh. Or a look. Hamish wasn’t the jealous type. And neither was Tundra, who he could sense was also watching the interaction, and none too happily. They weren’t jealous, they were just…noticing.

And then that same man looked up, noticing Hamish as well. He was a tall, broad shouldered man with a mop of sun-bleached brown hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled with humor. Hamish immediately disliked him. Still, the man held up his glass in greeting. “Yes! Join us!” he called, his voice booming in the small chamber. “I was beginning to think Vera was hiding all our young members away!”

“They _are_ students, with classes and studying to do,” Vera told the man, sounding more amused than annoyed. For a moment, a knot began to form in the pit of his stomach but then Vera caught his gaze and gave a subtle nod, letting him know she was fine, and he forced himself to relax. Maybe these were friends, or at least acquaintances of hers, but she hadn’t forgotten they were here for a job either.

“Phfft,” the man snorted. “They’re learning magic. Who needs classes?”

Vera gave him a bemused look. “And that is why you’ve never been considered for Temple Magus.”

“As if I’d want that boring desk job,” he said.

The pretty blonde woman shook her head. “Can you believe we were in the same class?” she asked Hamish, extending a hand. “I’m Ashley. This numbnuts is Matthew. We usually prefer to just drop him in the woods somewhere and leave him but we were under strict orders not to do that this time.” Ashley did not immediately let go of his hand, taking the opportunity to openly check him out. “Where have you been hiding this one, Vera?” she purred.

Vera gave her a disapproving glare. “You do remember this is a _college campus_ and not a Vegas casino, don’t you?”

Ashley looked at him again and sighed. “That’s disappointing. He’s cute. And I told you, I intend to find you a man while I’m here.”

Vera didn’t look amused. “Inappropriate,” she said darkly.

The mousy, blond man who was watching the interaction stepped in, temporarily blocking the woman from view. “Ash, maybe you should leave the _Grand Magus’_ dating life alone,” he whispered.

The woman scoffed. “Dating life? Who said she had to date him? I just want to get her laid.”

Hamish was fairly certain he could feel his cheeks heating. Vera was definitely turning red, though he wasn’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment. Before he could step in and stop Vera from doing anything rash, like trying - and failing - to magically shut the blonde up, the third man stepped in and grasped Vera’s arm – in what was a far too familiar way in Hamish’s opinion – and led her a couple steps away.

“Vera,” the man called softly, his voice heavily accented. Something unspoken passed between them and, while Vera still looked displeased, some of the tension left her as well.

Vera folded her arms over her chest and turned back to the others. “Let me be clear. My acolytes, medicums _and_ magistratus’ are _all_ off-limits. Actually, let’s just call the entire campus off limits.” She locked eyes with each of the men in turn. “For everyone.”

The men all chuckled, giving nods and quiet words of acceptance.

Ashley sighed. “You were more fun in D.C.”

Vera gave her a dirty look before turning away. “I suppose I should introduce you. This is Hamish Duke, a magistratus, as well as the leader of the Knights of the Blue Rose.”

Eyes widened around the room and even the older man straightened up, turning his full attention on Hamish. It was the jovial, muscular man, Matthew, who broke first, slinging an arm across Hamish’s shoulders. “You don’t say. I’d never have guessed. I was picturing something more…well, I don’t know what exactly I was picturing but not you.”

Hamish felt a little stiff at the man’s casual tone. He seemed friendly but there was that little voice in the back of his head that kept reminding Hamish that the man was here to investigate Kepler’s disappearance. He had to have some skills in that area.

“The Knights are a rather diverse group,” Vera spoke up. “Mr. Duke happens to be the most articulate of them, which is why I asked him to come by. I expect you are all curious?” She glanced down at her nearly empty champagne glass. “He is also a genius with bourbon and I’m about due for a refill anyways. Mr. Duke, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Hamish nodded, suppressing a smile. “I’ll get right on it, Magus.”

“Oh, so that’s why you keep him around,” Ashley said, still eyeing him with interest.

“A good bartender is hard to find,” Vera agreed, shooting Hamish a subtle smirk.

Vera turned her back and resumed chatting with the others while Hamish retreated behind the bar. It felt odd being relegated back to just another disciple. He’d gotten used to being at her side. He’d gotten used to feeling wanted, or at least allowed. Vera could be cold and sharp in public, afraid to show too much favoritism, but he couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so distant.

Finishing up his signature Grand Magus, Hamish brought the glass over to her. She took a sip, nodding her approval. “Delicious, as always,” she acknowledged. “Now, do you mind answering a few questions for our guests?”

“Not at all,” Hamish replied, though he was wondering how much she wanted him to say.

“Can we just skip to the ‘show’ part of ‘show ‘n’ tell’?” Matthew asked, making several others chuckle. “I just want to see a werewolf.”

“All in good time,” Vera said. Hamish knew she would try to stall. They’d already discussed the possibility and Vera had been adamant that the Knights remain human, if at all possible. She’d been concerned that seeing a werewolf in action would bring suspicion down on the Knights, or at least do nothing to convince them otherwise. It was one thing to hear about the werewolves. It was another thing entirely to see one and recognize just how easy it would be for them to take down a practitioner.

Matthew made a show of looking thoroughly bummed by the response. “Oh, fine. I can wait,” he sighed dramatically.

“I’m curious, how does one become a werewolf?” the mousy little blond man asked.

Hamish looked at Vera as he answered. “Well, for most of us, we knew or met someone who was already a Knight. They saw some quality in us that they felt would make for a good Champion but ultimately, it is the hides’ choice. I’m not certain how we’ll select new Champions in the future, now that we’re a part of the Order again. I suppose we’ll need to work that out with the Grand Magus at some point.”

“So you’re not looking to add to your ranks at the moment?” the man asked again.

“There are only five hides,” Vera spoke up. “Currently they are all in use.”

That seemed to surprise several of the adepti. “Just how strong are these things, Vera?” Matthew asked. “From what we heard, they were giving the Order hell last year. If there’s just five of them…”

Vera plastered on a smile. “Well, there was that whole ordeal with Edward so I suppose we can’t blame them for being a bit more active than usual,” Vera said, shying around the werewolf’s strength entirely.

Matthew still looked amazed, shaking his head in wonder. “Bitsy lost an eye to one, didn’t she?”

Hamish couldn’t stop himself from giving a small laugh, his shoulders jerking despite the lack of sound.

“Yes, that was quite unfortunate,” Vera said. “She did attack them in their own house, however. And there were a number of injuries on both sides.” Hamish had to try not to laugh again. Lilith had been the only injury on their side and hers hadn’t even been during the fight. But it seemed to placate the adepti and they moved on to other subjects.

“So where does this hide go? When you’re not a werewolf, I mean?” Ashley asked, eyeing Hamish a bit too closely.

“It’s inside us. It’s not anything you can see.” _With the exception of_ _a_ _hide rejection,_ Hamish thought to himself. That had been something he’d rather not see again.

Ashley looked disappointed. Matthew looked intrigued. “So you, what? Turn inside out when you transform?” Matthew asked.

The look Vera gave him reminded Hamish of the looks she often gave Randall. “It _is_ magic, Matti. There’s a bit more to it than that.”

“Have you seen it?”

“Probably more than I care to,” Vera admitted. At the puzzled expressions, she added, “Their clothes do not transform with them. I could do without my undergrads running around the campus naked.”

That brought a series of laughs all around.

“Mr. Duke, I truly would appreciate a…demonstration.” The request had come from the older man, the one who hadn’t spoken once the entire time.

If Hamish were a less calculating man, he might have been caught off guard. They had nearly made it. The adepti were gathering up the folders full of useless information he and Vera had spent the week compiling. If they’d lasted only a few minutes more, they would have been in the clear. For the night, at least. Hamish had been hopeful, but he hadn’t let himself believe. After all, these people were here for the sole job of tracking down someone capable of taking down an experienced practitioner without leaving a trace. They’d be fools to discount the werewolves.

He could see Vera rush through every possible denial she could think of and then toss them all away. She didn’t see a way out of this, not when it had come from him. Vera may have been Grand Magus but the quiet, watchful older man had been chosen as team leader for this investigation and if she didn’t comply, it was only going to raise his suspicions.

Vera gave a small nod. “You can use the Reliquary to change if you’d like, but we all know none of you wolves are shy,” Vera told him, her light tone contrasting with her dark expression.

“Of course, Grand Magus,” Hamish murmured. He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it over the bar before unbuttoning his vest.

“Nobody told me I should bring dollar bills to this shindig,” Ashley purred, making Hamish’s fingers fumble over a button for a second.

“This isn’t a strip club,” Vera said flatly.

Ashley looked over at her and grinned. “But it is a show. He’s hot.”

Hamish almost considered heading to the Reliquary to finish undressing, or just wolfing out and letting his clothes shred, except he was sort of enjoying watching Vera. While her friend was openly checking him out, Vera was attempting to not look interested. In his opinion, she was failing miserably.

“Damn!” Ashley exclaimed as Hamish slipped off his shirt, revealing the defined muscles of his chest and arms that were usually masked by layers of clothing. He glanced down, hoping he wasn’t blushing. He wasn’t typically a shy guy but he usually didn’t elicit such a response either.

“Off. Limits,” Vera hissed.

Ashley gave him a longing look. “Yeah, but he’s what? Twenty-four? Twenty-five? It shouldn’t count.”

Hamish cleared his throat. “Twenty-eight,” he said quietly.

Ashley waved a hand at him, eyes wide. “Even better!”

Vera grit her teeth, her eyes looking up towards the ceiling. “Mr. Duke, I won’t fault you for taking _both_ her eyes.”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she groaned. “But if you won’t let me find you a guy here, you’ve got to promise to come visit me in Vegas when you get a moment. There’s _plenty_ of hot guys there.”

Vera gave her a disbelieving stare. “You’re _seriously_ trying to hook me up with a magistratus _and a werewolf?”_

Ashley shrugged. “It’s not like it’s contagious.”

“Oh my God, I need to get you back on a plane,” Vera muttered under her breath.

Ashley’s comments stopped the moment Hamish let Tundra out. All talking stopped and everyone just stared. Vera was the only one who didn’t seem the least bit intimidated. She just stood there, arms folded, and waited for the adepti to regain their use of speech.

Matthew stepped forward cautiously. “Is it still-” he started to ask, reaching out slowly with one hand.

“That is still Mr. Duke,” Vera said.

“So the werewolf doesn’t take over or anything?” Matthew asked.

“If it did, I’m fairly certain Kepler would have died in that fight last year,” Vera said, once again skating around the truth with another truth.

“Do you mind if we take some measurements?” the older man asked smoothly.

Vera’s jaw tightened. “You’ll have to ask him.”

Hamish shook his head. He tried to let himself relax, maybe even slouch a little, to appear as non-threatening as possible. That was difficult, considering the long claws that protruded from his fingers and the mouthful of dangerously sharp teeth.

It was Matthew and the smaller man who examined Hamish, Matthew sketching out quick drawings on a notepad while the other man took measurements. His claws, his teeth, his muzzle, every inch of him was copied onto the paper with exact details.

“And are all the werewolves the same?” the older man asked when Matthew was finished.

“Roughly. They’re distinguishable by color but the size and builds only vary slightly.”

“Is that information in the notes you’ve given us?”

“No,” Vera admitted. At his inquiring gaze, she turned to face Matthew. “As you can see, Hamish Duke is silver. Then there’s Jack Morton. He is a darker grey. Lilith Bathory is more of a brown. Gabrielle Dupres is solid black. And Randall Carpio is dark grey with a white chin. Is that all?”

The older man nodded. “I believe so. For now. We plan to visit the garage where she disappeared in the morning but we’ll be in touch. We’d like to talk with everyone in the Belgrave Chapter. I understand Bitsy spent a good deal of time here over the last months.”

Vera nodded. “Of course, David. Whatever you need.”

Vera watched the adepti leave with a forced smile. It dropped the moment they disappeared from view. “I need another drink,” she said.

Hamish allowed himself to return to human form. “Do you think we have a problem?” he asked, grabbing his pants off the floor.

Vera turned to him. _“Of course_ we have a problem,” she hissed. She pointed at the door. “Six of the most skilled trackers we have just walked out that door. And I _tried_ to fill that team with people I know, people who know me, but I don’t think it’s going to be enough to get them to believe me when I say you idiots aren’t involved in this.”

Hamish reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Vera…”

She stepped out of his reach. “And _don’t_ touch me. Don’t even look at me. Ashley Brown isn’t what she appears. Everybody already considers me biased towards the Knights. The last thing we need is for someone to confirm our relationship is not strictly professional. Actually, don’t even come to the Temple unless I ask you.”

“Vera!” Hamish exclaimed. Vera had not been at the Temple alone in weeks and Hamish wasn’t about to start leaving her alone now, when an actual threat was at their doorstep.

“I’m serious. Trust me. I will find a way to avoid being asked to perform any magic, but you need to gather the wolves and keep them home.” Vera closed her eyes, letting out a heavy breath. “Make me that drink and then you can leave.”


	7. Tundra Couldn't Care Less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, I'm tired, but I wanted to get this up. I was expecting this to be simple but as it turns out, Tundra couldn't care less about the Order's investigation, which meant I really had to push him and he got cranky. It basically went something like this:
> 
> Kitte: So, tell me about these weeks of being investigated?  
> Tundra: Can't recall. We sat around the Den and were bored.  
> Kitte: Well, what about when David, Christopher and Matthew stopped by the Den to question everyone?!  
> Tundra: Oh, were those their names? I wasn't paying attention.  
> Kitte: Then why did you insist on telling this part?  
> Tundra: Because Hamish or Vera would have made it sound far more important than it is.  
> Kitte: But it is important!  
> Tundra: They didn't kill anybody, did they? Must not have been that important.
> 
> Yeah, so that's what I was dealing with. So if this chapter sucks, blame Tundra. He rather sarcastically indulged me in the end, with the barest minimum, but I was ready to slap him.  
> But hey, it's done and then the real fun starts. The part 2 of this whole idea started with the aftermath anyways so y'all got several extra chapters already just by convincing me to do a full story with this. The next chapter was already maybe 1/2 - 3/4 written before I ever posted this idea so I should have it up tomorrow.

The Coyote, the Squirrel and the Black Bear had arrived with no warning, led to the Den by his own Champion’s mate. The names were unimportant, as were they. A minor blip in a long history of persecution, as far as Tundra was concerned. But Tundra could sense his Champion’s apprehension and had to remind himself that this Champion often fretted over the risks to his fellow brothers and sisters.

Tundra was aware that the trio had been poking around, looking for answers when they didn’t even know all the questions, so it didn’t come as a surprise to find the warlocks on the front step, even if it was an inconvenience. Not to mention insulting. Tundra loathed the idea of bowing down to a handful of know-nothing Order nuisances when the Knights of the Blue Rose had been created for the sole purpose of monitoring and restraining the very same people who were now here to investigate them. But Tundra tolerated it, as he tolerated all the foolish ideas the Knights and the Order had enacted over the centuries and when it was finished, he would find a way to handle the fallout.

And so, it had begun. Tundra’s Champion, having already met the entirety of the Order’s little search party, was largely ignored. Even by his own mate. Tundra’s Champion followed her anyways, despite the warning signals she kept sending him. Tundra made it a point to keep eyes and ears on the warlocks, as frustratingly repetitive as forcing his Champion to cooperate proved to be. He never wanted to look in the right direction, choosing to stare at his wayward mate far more than was necessary.

The Squirrel wandered through the house, tracking spell in hand, searching for blood. Scent tracking would have been a far more reliable method, but then humans did have a poor sense of smell. Still, even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and again and this Squirrel stumbled across a speck near the front door. The Mate recovered quickly however, reminding the searchers that the Sacrifice lost an eye at the Den prior to her _disappearance_ and the investigation moved onwards.

The Black Bear, with his endless fascination with the Knights, was slightly more intriguing. He had a limitless supply of questions, held only in check by the Mate and seemed to talk more than he listened. Except, one by one, each of the Knights appeared before him in their true form, brought forth by flattery and pretty words. And then came the sketchbook, along with the Squirrel and his measuring tapes. His Champion’s mate scowled nearby.

But it was the Coyote that Tundra didn’t trust. The wily man was dangerous. Not so much to capture Tundra’s full attention, but enough to be worth watching. Or killing outright. It was the Coyote who gave the orders, while he himself slunk around in the shadows, setting up traps. Tundra could only hope his fellow Knights hadn’t allowed their Champions to step into one.

And then the pesky warlocks were gone, as if they’d never been there at all, and the Knights were once again left to their Den, corralled like the prey they’d let themselves become. And once again, his Champion had allowed his mate to walk away without a word. It was truly infuriating.

Try as he might, Tundra struggled to understand his Champions at times. It seemed to be human nature to make even the simple things in life complex. The union between his Champion and his chosen mate should have been simple. As the Grand Magus and the acting leader of the Knights, they should have been powerful enough to not be concerned with the thoughts of others. Instead, they tiptoed around like juvenile pups afraid to be caught.

It was something Tundra had initially accepted as a peculiar quirk but one that had no ill effects. It didn’t affect the Knights as a whole and his Champions did not struggle to find time for their coupling, so Tundra anticipated the arrival of his future Champion within the next moon. Or was it year? To be honest, Tundra struggled a bit with the concept of time, as did all the wolves. What was time when he was eternal? His memories were divided by Champions, and then into events. Some Champions passed in the blink of an eye, having accomplished nothing of interest in their lifetime, even as they aged and died. Other Champions filled just the barest breath of human life with ages of memories.

But whether it was a moon, a year or a decade, his plan had been coming together. The mating rituals of humans had seemed a complicated thing at first, a complex web of scents and tastes and behaviors that were quite foreign to Tundra. But he was learning. Already he’d begun experimenting with his Champion, just little nudges here and there to see how he’d take direction. If he was patient, if he took his time, it was possible nobody would even be aware of Tundra’s meddling at all. Afterall, offspring were a not unexpected byproduct of the act.

But Tundra was finding that, in this instance, perhaps he did not have the patience to wait it out. Not when his plan hedged on a pair of apparent juveniles who could decide to walk away from the secrets and the lies and the hiding at any moment. Tundra needed a pup from them first. Well, first Tundra needed to find a way to wrap up this little mess of Greybeard’s and get the Order’s hounds on their way home again so his Champions could end this foolishness and return to their previous charade.

As it turned out, Tundra didn’t need to devise a plan for that…


	8. Deleatur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the fun begins! hehe. I have really been biting my tongue about how this was going to turn out but it was always the way I envisioned the fallout going.

She had failed. Her life’s work, every ounce of blood, sweat and tears from the time she was eighteen, and it had come down to this. The worst part was, Vera couldn’t even bring herself to blame the wolves. She had done this to them, every bit as much as they’d brought this end upon her. She’d thought she’d known better, known what was best for the Knights and the Order. She’d thought she could bring them together, create something greater than either could be on their own. Only they’d never wanted it. And now she would be the one paying for her grandiose scheme.

Vera had known her luck had run out the moment Matti had stopped talking to her. The park ranger had always been a talker but never had been able to lie. It was why she’d insisted on including him, despite the fact that if there was even a shred of physical evidence, he would be the one to find it and follow it to its source. It had been a risk worth taking, when she knew she couldn’t trust a word out of any of the others’ mouths.

She wasn’t certain yet what the final straw had been. It could have been the bit of spilled blood left behind at the Den. It could have been Lilith Bathory, the demon mark only just masked by heavy makeup that was out of place on the girl. Ms. Bathory’s long absence had, unfortunately, been an early reveal during the Temple interviews and while demon rituals weren’t common knowledge, they wouldn’t be difficult to find. It could have been Ms. Birch, who’d innocently brought up the sacrifice of two owls to bring Lilith back.

Truthfully, Vera wasn’t certain they’d ever intended to follow another lead. She had hoped and she’d done her best to throw other possibilities into the investigation. Praxis had still been active at the time, though with no motive to target Elizabeth Kepler specifically. Elizabeth had been a judge, and not always on the up-and-up, but what criminal could take on a powerful practitioner without leaving a trace? No, Vera had always been hedging her bets on the hope that Randall Carpio had been careful enough to not leave a shred of tangible proof that they could use to officially accuse the wolves.

There was nothing left to do now, except accept her end.

Footsteps echoed through the empty Temple. It was far too late for any disciples to be practicing. The campus was quiet. It was why Vera had called them there in the first place.

Hamish was the first to enter the Reliquary, concern etched across every line of his face, blue eyes searching her but failing to take in the rest of the room.

“What’s with all the boxes?” Randall asked. “The Order packing up and finding a less werewolf infested home base?”

Vera sighed. At least it would be the last time she had to deal with the obnoxious wolf. “I already packed up the ones you should take with you,” she said, forcing her voice to remain calm. She opened a drawer and pulled out the five pendants she’d retrieved earlier and set them on the desk. Vera shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Everything she’d accomplished, coming down to this moment. “I’ve marked everything in the vault. There are artifacts, such as the sickles, that need to stay. Everything else is…” Vera grit her teeth, the very words painful to say. “I’ve marked what you should prioritize. I don’t know how much time you’ll have.”

“Wait…” Jack said slowly, his voice deep. “Are you…giving us our stuff back?”

Vera’s hands clenched as she forced another deep breath. “Yes,” she muttered through gritted teeth. The Knight’s belongings, and whatever else they could carry out undetected.

“Just like that? No new contracts you want us to sign? No big trade you’re not telling us about?” Jack questioned skeptically.

“Just like that, Mr. Morton,” Vera said tersely.

“They know about Kepler,” Hamish said, always the astute one of the bunch.

“They seem to be poking around the truth. I don’t know how long it would take them to officially accuse the Knights, but once they do, I won’t be able to protect you.”

“So you’re, what? Letting us go?” Jack asked.

“I am doing what I can,” Vera said. She was releasing the wolves from any contract with the Order, and she was sending them with the Order’s most powerful artifacts and grimoires. With all they had learned in their months with the Order, it was possible they would stand a chance. “Just…tell me when you’re done.” Vera raised a hand, intending to open the secret door, before remembering she no longer had the power to and she let her hand fall. Everything, down to this.

Vera heard the door creak open, heard the sound of hands grasping the pendants, long chains dragging across the table as they were picked up, but she kept her eyes closed. She couldn’t watch the destruction of everything she’d helped to build, knowing it was her hand that was giving them the key. All those raids, the months she spent building the Order back up after the first heist, after Edward, and now she was allowing it to all come crashing down around her.

But she couldn’t not do it. Her end was coming, whatever she did. But she had brought the Knights into this mess and they were her responsibility, maybe even more than the Order. The wolves had protested and fought their induction every step of the way. They’d hardly been loyal disciples. But they had always been there, when the Order needed them…when she needed them. She could return that favor, this one last time. The Order would survive. It always had.

“Vera…”

Vera opened her eyes. The others were gone but Hamish had stayed. It didn’t surprise her. Vera sighed and reached for the bottle resting on her desk. She poured herself another glass. How many had that been? Five? Six? The bottle was noticeably lighter than it had been early in the evening.

“You really should go help. You’ve only got ‘til daylight, at the latest,” she said.

“What are you doing, Vera?” he asked.

“You know what I’m doing, Hamish,” Vera said.

“You’re trading your life for ours,” he said darkly.

Vera didn’t respond. He wouldn’t understand but the Order had never been the forgiving sort. Giving away a few artifacts was hardly going to make her situation worse.

“Come with us. Leave the Order,” he said earnestly.

Vera gave him a humorless look. “And do what?”

“Live,” he said simply.

She sighed heavily, gulping a large mouthful of straight bourbon. “What’s the point? The Order has been my entire life since I was eighteen.”

“You know as well as I do, that’s over now. The Order won’t let this slide. Kepler or you giving us our stuff back. So come with us. _Help_ us. We’re a good team. You know that. It’s why you tried to bring us in in the first place,” Hamish pleaded. Vera tried to give him a small smile. He was a sweetheart. Just a big, giant sweetheart. But he couldn’t fix this.

“I don’t have my magic, Hamish. I can’t even be your pet witch. And I’m not going to hide behind the big, bad werewolves and be useless for the rest of whatever pathetic life awaits me.”

“You can teach us. You don’t need your magic for that.”

Vera glanced up, wondering what he was getting at.

“Think about it. There’s only so much we can learn on our own. But having you there to guide us, think about how strong we could become. How much stronger we already are, because of you. And you know the Order better than anyone. You can help _us_ do our job. We don’t have to be a part of the Order to police them. We can’t do it alone, though.”

“You’ve done it alone for decades,” Vera pointed out.

“Not well.” Hamish stared at her, his eyes pleading with her. She wasn’t sure how much of this was coming from Hamish, the leader of the Knights, and how much of it was coming from _Hamish,_ the man who’d gotten to see more of her than she’d allowed anyone to in years. It didn’t matter. She didn’t have an answer for either of them. Hamish nodded. “I’m talking to the others.”

Vera waved a hand dismissively. She wasn’t certain this would work. She doubted he’d even be able to convince the others to accept her. But if he wanted to try, who was she to stop him? And in the meantime, she would go home and open another bottle.


	9. Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am giggling so bad that people didn't see this coming. Poor Vera, but I really think there are going to be HUGE consequences to Randall killing Kepler and I think she's gonna get lumped into it with the wolves for supporting them and "allowing" it to happen. 
> 
> But anyways, this was always going to be a long story. Can't have everything go their way, right?
> 
> P.S. - if you haven't noticed, read the titles. Many of them are clues or at least related in some way, if you know the incantations.

“Are you sure we can trust her?” Lilith was saying.

“She has no magic. What’s the worst she can do? Lock us in here?” Jack answered.

“She could call that creepy Mr. Collins guy and have us surrounded when we try to walk out of here,” Lilith countered.

“She wouldn’t do that,” Hamish spoke up, entering the vault.

Lilith glared at him. “Because she’s got _such_ a great track record of working with us. In case you forgot, the first time she offered to help us, she _wiped our memories.”_

“Lil, you haven’t been here-” Hamish began.

“And who’s fault is that?” Lilith muttered.

“Ours,” Hamish said. “We robbed the Order. It was our fault. And Vera covered for us.”

Randall looked down. “Yeah, until I spilled the beans,” he admitted.

“Exactly. Vera wasn’t the one that gave us away, but she did almost take the fall for us. The Council _voted her out,_ Lil. She got tossed into the vault with the rest of us. She’s on our side.”

Lilith rolled her eyes and started dropping small, yellow tagged artifacts into a box. “Vera Stone’s on her side. How many times does she have to screw us over for you to see that?”

“How many times does she have to stand up for us for you to realize you’re wrong?” Hamish countered. “Trust me on this.” Hamish looked away from Lilith, meeting each person’s gaze in turn. “I want Vera to come with us.”

Lilith choked on a laugh. “Vera _is_ the Order. She’d never leave them.”

“She doesn’t have a choice. They’ll kill her for this, Lil. I can’t let that happen.”

“I get that, for some insane reason, you seem to like her, but what are we supposed to do with her? She’s not a wolf. She’s not one of us.”

“Neither is Nicole, but I don’t see anyone complaining about her hanging around. Neither was Gabby at first,” Hamish said, gesturing towards Gabrielle and Randall, “but she still teamed up with us while you were gone. Vera can’t stay with the Order, but if we bring her with us, if we protect her, she can teach us. It’s the same concept I suggested when we first got our memories back. If we can learn everything that they know, we won’t just level the playing field, we’ll obliterate it. Vera can teach us so much more than what we could learn by ourselves. And she knows how the Order operates. She knows the people in power. This could be our chance to not just be the Knights of St. Christopher again, but to be better than I think the Knights have been in decades.”

“I’m in,” Gabby said, shrugging. “I don’t really have a problem with her and without her powers, Midnight seems mostly indifferent. Maybe he’ll accept this as reparations of a sort, though. Randall’s fine with it too.”

“Hey!” Randall mock-glared at her. “I can make my own decision.”

“Vera didn’t turn you over the minute she found out what you did. You owe her,” Gabrielle told him.

Randall sighed. “Fine. The Wicked Bitch of the East can come with us.”

Hamish scowled at him for the nickname but nodded. “Thank you.” Of all of them, he’d known Randall would agree, regardless. Randall was the only one who’d seen what Hamish was like in those years after Cassie died. The others knew, of course, but Randall had been the first. Randall had been the one he’d confided in. Randall had been the one who’d seen him broken and watched him pull himself back together. Hamish knew that if he asked this of him, if he asked for the chance to save another girl he cared about, Randall would never have turned him down.

Jack nodded then too. “It wasn’t that long ago that I told Vera I believe in her and, even after everything that’s happened…I still do. And maybe this won’t be the kind of new Order we were hoping for but it’ll be something and I think we still owe it to her to try.”

Hamish let out a relieved breath. “Thank you. All of you.”

“I didn’t agree,” Lilith protested. As one, the other Knights turned their gazes on her. Lilith huffed. _“Fine._ But I want to offer Nicole the same.”

Nobody was going to argue with that. Hamish clasped his hands together and gave a tiny half-bow. “Thank you, thank you. This will be great, guys. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Randall said. “Now can we get back to packing this shit up before we run out of time and the Order’s goons catch us?”

“How are we going to get all this stuff back to the Den anyways?” Jack asked.

“We could-” Lilith began.

“No demons!” the other four all said at once.

Lilith huffed. _“Okay._ I was just offering.”

It took most of the night and probably a hundred trips in Grandpa Pete’s old truck but they did it. The vault was cleared out, the Reliquary was emptier than it had probably been in centuries and the wolves had some serious bargaining chips to play for their freedom. They probably even had a couple hours to spare before anyone would arrive at the Temple.

As his friends went home to the Den to celebrate their victory, Hamish headed to Vera’s.

Most of the lights were off but even from the driveway, he could still spot Vera sitting at the kitchen table. There was a bottle in front of her and she was staring blankly at her glass as she swirled the liquid around inside it. She glanced up the moment the door opened.

“All finished then?” she asked. Despite the fact that she’d likely been drinking for most of the night, her words were still crisp and clear, if tired.

Hamish nodded. “It’s done.”

Vera’s lips pursed but she nodded. “Then you should go. It’s probably best if you all stick together and protect each other for a bit.”

“You’re coming with me. We all agreed.”

Vera looked up. “Hamish…”

“You’re not arguing with me about this. Pack a bag.”

Vera’s expression twisted into surprised disbelief. “I am _not_ staying at the Den.”

“And I’m not leaving you here. You just said it yourself, we need to stick together.”

Vera looked unimpressed. “And where would you expect me to stay? With you? Not happening.”

“The others already knew about us anyways.”

Vera sat up straight, eyes narrowing. “You told them?” she hissed.

Hamish rolled his eyes. “I haven’t said anything but I didn’t need to. You know Randall’s suspected it for months. And you don’t really think they believe I’ve been staying at my apartment the past couple months, do you?”

Vera huffed, sinking back into her chair.

“I’ll pack for you if I have to.”

“The fucking Den,” Vera muttered as she drug herself out of her chair and headed for her bedroom.

Vera let out little huffs and snide comments the entire drive but Hamish couldn’t stop smiling. This was really happening. Vera was leaving the Order and coming with him. He wouldn’t have to watch another woman he…cared about die. He wouldn’t have to feel responsible and go through that gut-wrenching agony that never completely went away. And he hadn’t even had to throw her over his shoulder and carry her out of her house to convince her to come.

The Den was lit up like Christmas again. Literally. Every light was on and apparently Randall and Jack had pulled the Christmas lights out again and strung them haphazardly from any surface they could reach. Vera just stared.

“Well, isn’t that…festive,” she muttered.

Hamish chuckled. “They’re excited. Can you blame them?”

Vera arched a brow at him. “Do they know I’m coming?”

“I told them,” Hamish said through a grin. He turned the car off. “Come on. We’ll just say hi and then I’ll show you our room.”

Vera gave him an odd look but didn’t comment. Hamish tried not to cringe. _Our room?_ It sounded like he was officially moving her in, rather than just asking her to stay over until he knew the Order wouldn’t retaliate against her.

Hamish pushed open the front door and was immediately greeted by a series of whoops and cheers, half of them loud and high spirited, half of them grumbled sarcastically. And then Randall appeared, wearing his…ID badge?

“Hi. I’m Randall. I’ll be your R.A. during your stay,” he said. And okay, he was definitely a little drunk. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your room. It’s a little dusty,” he said, tilting his hand back and forth. “And sort of filled with random crap since we weren’t expecting guests, but it’s private. I mean, you’ll have to share a bathroom but it’s only Lilith. Well, and sometimes Jack, but it’s not that bad. We’ve got a few house rules to go over…”

Hamish couldn’t quite tell if Vera was amused or not, by the way she was staring at his slightly strange friend. He thought it might be amused but since her expression usually erred on the side of annoyance when she was around Randall, he wasn’t certain.

“Randall, you realize she’s staying with me, right?” Hamish interjected before Randall could delve into whatever list of house rules he’d come up with.

Randall actually jumped into the air, pumping his arm. “Yes! I told you guys they were a thing!” he yelled to the rest of the wolves.

“We _know,”_ Jack groaned. “I’ve been hearing your Vera/Hamish shipping theories for months.”

“And it was pretty much the first thing you told me when I got back,” Lilith added.

Gabrielle raised both brows when the pair looked to her next. “What? I prefer _not_ to gossip about my teachers’ sex lives.” She huffed at the disbelieving looks she received. “Well, not the teachers I actually respect.”

“Thank you, Miss Dupres,” Vera muttered. She gave Randall the side-eye when he sidled up beside her.

“So, now that it’s all in the open, mind if I ask how long? For curiosity’s sake,” Randall asked, nodding with exaggerated solemnness.

Hamish’s eyes widened. “You did not take bets on that,” he warned.

“Does anything Mr. Carpio does truly surprise you?” Vera asked wearily. “And we are not talking about this.” She turned towards the steps. “Hamish, which room’s yours?”

“I’ll show you,” Hamish said, leading the way.

Randall pointed at them as they left. “Aww, she called him Hamish, guys.”

Hamish flipped him the bird as they reached the second landing.

“Tell me he is not always like this,” Vera said, following Hamish into his bedroom.

“That would probably be a lie,” Hamish admitted. He flicked on the lights and immediately scanned the room for anything out of place. Not because he was an untidy person and was afraid of Vera’s first impression of the place, but because Randall and the others had beaten them home and he wasn’t sure he could trust them not to set up some embarrassing prank.

“That’s what I figured,” Vera said. She walked past him and set her bag on the bed. Her green eyes were already scanning the room, taking in every little detail. They landed on a framed picture of another green-eyed girl resting on his bedside table.

Hamish walked past her and picked it up. “Cassie,” he answered her unspoken question. A sad smile tugged at his lips as he looked at her. With her wavy, dirty blonde hair and freckled, suntanned complexion, the eyes were the only resemblance he could really see between the two women and even then, their eyes were worlds apart in everything but color. There was a sharp intelligence in Vera’s eyes, a desire to know and understand everything around her, but there was also a deep sadness hidden there, if you looked long enough. Cassie’s eyes were actually a darker green but there was such a bright energy in them that, at first glance, they seemed lighter. Even after years of being a Knight, even in her death, Cassie hadn’t experienced the darkness of the world the way Vera had. He set the picture back down. “I can put it away, if you prefer,” he told her.

Vera gave him a small, sad smile. “Hamish, I’m not jealous of a dead woman,” she said gently. She glanced down, smile falling before she met his gaze again. “I know about hiding from your own past. I won’t ask you to hide yours.”

“Thank you,” Hamish whispered.

Vera huffed, trying to brush away the negative mood. “Well, I don’t know about you but I intend to get a couple hours sleep before my phone starts ringing.”

Hamish grinned. “You might get a bit longer than that.” He shrugged. “I don’t know how long it will work but Gabby had an idea. We filled the vault and reliquary with a bunch of old junk from Jack’s grandpa’s place. One glamour spell later, the place looks like it always did.”

Vera stared at him, unblinking. “That’s-”

“Genius?” Hamish suggested.

Vera let a small smile creep back across her lips. “It probably won’t buy us a lot of time but it’s something.” She turned her head and looked out the window for a moment. “It might buy us some time to shore up the defenses of this place a little. Once your friends have slept off their celebrating.”

Hamish chuckled, knowing she’d probably had more tonight than the others combined. But, like him, Vera never did seem to get noticeably intoxicated. “Bathroom’s just across the hall,” he told her. “Once I check on the others and make sure everyone knows to stay home tomorrow, I’ll join you.” Vera nodded and Hamish turned to leave.

“Hamish,” Vera called as he reached the door. He paused and turned to look at her. “Thank you.”


	10. Ligemur Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear so no one gets too anxious expecting me to pull the rug out from under y’all again, while the whole Knights vs Order thing will be backstory for sure, I’m not a big writer of huge, epic war stories. The story is and was always intended to be simply Vermish, a combo of the Tundra one-shot and an approximately 4 part Alpha storyline I had planned. I just fleshed it out…a lot. But at the center of it all, that’s still the focus of this story and we are slooooowly getting there.
> 
> Oh, and while I’ve still got a lot of time to think on it, anyone have any particular feelings towards Alyssa? Resurrect her? Leave her dead? I haven’t quite settled on what I want to do about her past a certain point in this story. I actually don’t have a problem with her so writing her wouldn’t be an issue but I know season 2 left some fans with very strong feelings about her. Lol. Can’t guarantee what you request is what’ll happen, if I get a good idea, I’m running with it, but at this particular point, I’m pretty indifferent.

It was hardly the first night Vera had spent with Hamish. In fact, in the past six weeks, it had been more uncommon for Vera to fall asleep _without_ Hamish beside her. As uncertain as she’d been about sharing her bed initially, she’d grown accustomed to the warm, solid presence lying next to her.

Key words. Her bed. Her home. Her terms. Lying in _Hamish’s_ bed, in the Den, in the same hallway as a pack of werewolves, could have been Vera’s idea of torture. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed to be sharing a room with Hamish…even if she was dreading the inevitable comments now that they were no longer denying the relationship. It was that she didn’t know what to do with herself.

Vera had always been blessed, or perhaps cursed, to be one of those people who managed to function on only a handful of hours of sleep. Which meant she usually spent part of her night working, or at least piddling around the house to keep herself busy. But this wasn’t her house. The spare bedrooms weren’t filled with old books. She didn’t have a desk littered in paperwork to complete. There was nothing. Except for a house full of _people._ And every one of them had extra sensitive hearing. So that left Vera with nothing to do except lie there and wait, alone in the darkness with her thoughts. And Vera usually tried to avoid that.

Vera’s mind could be a cruel thing, without the distraction of unending work. The hours she had spent, turning over every negative thing that had ever happened in her life…and of those there were many. The childhood taunts from small-minded children who’d never be able to dream of a life outside their rural town. The night her daughter had been conceived, fogged over by a likely-not-alcohol-induced haze. And then every single goddamn memory up until the night her daughter had been born, when her father had hung up the phone. Then there was her daughter, of course, and that fateful morning that had torn her apart forever.

And then more. College memories. Watching the freshmen get drawn in, year after year, like moths to a flame. Chloe. The Marand twins, who’d been inducted the same night as her, and who’d nearly destroyed the Order years later. Not being quick enough, smart enough, to stop them.

Vowing to do whatever it took to protect the kids who would come after her. Staring down at the incantation on the scroll, making the decision, the trade, because she had nothing else to live for anyways and that little boost, those seconds she could save, seemed worth it at the time.

She wasn’t sure any of it had been worth it, now that she was standing at the finish line. She looked back and all she could see were flames. Some were hers, others were simply ones she’d failed to extinguish in time. She had tried, so so hard, but what had she accomplished? Children had still died under her watch. She’d selected Jack Morton, like so many others before him, in hopes of putting just a _dab_ of a conscious into the elitist, power-hungry Order…only for Jack Morton to switch sides, drawing her attention to the Knights, who had all the privilege and opportunity of their Order counterparts without any of the self-centered greed. So then she’d brought them in too, only to nearly kill them in the process.

Had she really accomplished anything in the nearly two decades she’d dedicated to the Order? Had anything changed at all in those nineteen years? The new acolytes were still spoiled babies, who’d continue on to be spoiled adults, with no respect for life and the power to change the world with a few little words. The Gnostic Council was still disinclined to challenge the status quo, where powerful, charismatic men could do whatever they pleased and anyone who was trying to make things just a _little_ bit better for everyone else was dismissed.

Twenty fucking years of her life and Vera wasn’t sure she’d done a thing. Any progress she’d made, she’d been holding together through sheer strength of will and what did that matter now? She’d lost. She’d _fled._ And now the Order could go back to what they were comfortable with and she could just…hide, until the magical cancer she already felt brewing stole the remainder of her worthless life.

Vera rolled over, finding Hamish’s calm, steadying body and tucked herself against him. The comforting weight of his arm settled around her as she buried her face in his bare chest and let herself breathe in the blend of dusty artifacts and coffee and faint cologne. He, at least, had been something positive after all the years of heartache and struggle, even if she did struggle to let him in. But Hamish was broken too, and he accepted her, with all her sharp, broken bits. That was more than she had found in her entire thirty-seven years.

“You’re still here,” Hamish mumbled sleepily. Vera knew he was used to waking up and finding her side of the bed cold and empty.

Vera set her phone back down on the nightstand, having muted the call that had woke him. “I didn’t want to go barging around your house for something to do.”

He yawned, reaching for her hand so he could tug her back down beside him. Vera lay down, facing him, and propped herself up on an elbow. Hamish chuckled and mirrored her. “How long have you been up? You know, you don’t need to feel like you need to stay in bed. Randall sleeps like the dead and Lilith tends to sleep with headphones anyways.”

“Not long,” Vera lied. “And you forgot two.”

Hamish rolled his eyes, remembering. “I’m pretty sure Gabby wears earplugs to deal with Randall talking in his sleep, and Jack’s not here often.”

Vera’s phone started to vibrate again and she turned to check it. Hamish was sitting up when she looked back.

“Who is it?” he asked, his expression serious.

“Just the school, so far.” She looked down at her phone with a tight smile. “I don’t think I have ever called in sick before…although I imagine by the end of the week, it’ll be like I never had the job in the first place.” The Order would need to act fast, whatever they did. The Chancellor’s position, at least, would need to be filled.

Hamish’s eyes dropped. “I’m sorry.”

Vera huffed. “Yes, well, there’s nothing to do about it now.” Except, perhaps, prepare. “Do you think the others will be awake soon?” Hamish arched a brow, eyeing her playfully as his hand brushed lightly against her side. Vera slapped his hand away, ignoring the shiver that raced down her spine at the slightest touch. “Not for that.”

He sighed, dramatically, and then leapt out of bed. Vera watched, tugging the comforter a bit higher up in the process, as Hamish flung open the door and began walking down the hallway, banging on doors as he went. “Rise ‘n’ shine! We’ve got work to do.” The groans and complaints were already echoing after him when he returned, shutting the door behind him. “They’re up,” he told her.

And probably pissed at her but what else was new?

Vera rifled through a collection of priceless artifacts that _someone_ had carelessly tossed into a cardboard box and then stuffed in the Den’s basement. It was the third such box that she’d unpacked thus far, biting her tongue to keep from chewing out the worthless fools for handling the objects so indelicately.

With the defensive spells quickly falling into place under her direction, Vera had desperately needed something to occupy her time and so Hamish had showed her to the basement, where they had stacked many of the boxes from the vault…and stacked may have been too generous of a description. She cringed every time she looked at the teetering pile, fully prepared to hear it all come clattering down behind her at any moment. So far she’d been lucky, although with the way the wolves kept grabbing boxes and chucking them across the room to each other, she didn’t expect that luck to last. _Just don’t let it be something breakable,_ she thought to herself.

“Where did you want the blades again?” Gabrielle asked, holding up an ivory white bone knife.

Vera’s face blanched. She shoved her own box aside and hurried over to look over the girl’s shoulder. “You have got to be kidding me,” she murmured to herself. She looked up, furious. “I thought I made myself clear. You _weren’t_ supposed to take these!” Vera grabbed the knife and dropped it back into the box before picking up the entire box and shoving it into Gabrielle’s arms. “Hold this.” She threw the lid off the next box, dropped it on the floor and then repeated the action with the following box too. “What else did you idiots take? Do you _want_ a repeat of Rogwan? World War III? The apocalypse?”

She didn’t have to look to know it was Hamish who set a hand on her arm. “You know we don’t,” he said firmly. “You know the Order doesn’t either.”

Vera spun around and glared at him. “So what? You offer to lend them back again? Hope they don’t get _stolen_ again in the meantime?”

“No. We use them to barter. The Order can have them back. If they let us go free. All of us. If they promise to let us do our jobs.”

“They’ll never agree to that,” Vera snarled. She hadn’t thought he was a complete idiot. Now she wasn’t so sure about that.

Behind Hamish, Jack shrugged. “Then I guess you better teach us what all those artifacts are for.”

Vera threw her hands up. “Idiots. I have handed my life over to a bunch of idiots,” she muttered, walking out of the basement. Hamish followed her, as she knew he would. Once they were out of earshot, normal earshot, she turned around. “Did you leave _anything?”_ she hissed.

Hamish shrugged. “The books in the Reliquary. The ones you didn’t box up for us.”

Vera squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a heavy breath. Everything in the vault. Again. Fucking idiots. “You could have warned me.”

“I didn’t think it would matter,” he said. Vera opened one eye, daring him to stick with that statement. “Would telling you last night have changed anything?”

“And what? Did you forget about it until Ms. Dupres pulled that knife out of the box just now?”

If Hamish was going to answer, he was interrupted by her phone ringing once again. Vera glared at him, stalking over to grab the phone from the table. She glanced at it, took a breath, and answered.

“Vera, we need to talk,” Matti said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger. :p I was going to make this chapter longer but decided to just post what I've got tonight. Hopefully will manage to get in some good writing time tomorrow. Fingers crossed nothing pops up to distract me.


	11. Ligemur Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't end up leaving you on a cliffhanger too long and this, loosely, wraps up the wth-did-Randall-do plot line. For now. Lots of comments on Tundra's scheme and that's coming up next so just hang with me for a bit while it gets rolling. :D
> 
> And looks like most people are on the same page for Alyssa, of "eh, but sure". haha. It's some time before she'd even have an option to return so I'll play with it and see how it goes.

“Vera, we need to talk.”

Vera closed her eyes. She had hoped, when Hamish had told her of the glamour incantation, that they would have more time. Luck had never been on her side, however. Only planning. “I think you’ll find there’s not much to say,” Vera replied.

“Don’t do this, Vera. Whichever one it was, turn them over. David said we can let the rest of them go.”

“You and I both know David doesn’t get to make that call.”

There was a pause, a silent acknowledgement. “Please, just meet me at the Temple. Hear me out,” Matti said, desperation in his voice.

Vera was the quiet one then as she considered his words. “If you want to talk, meet us at the Den in an hour. You can bring two others. No more.”

“Two? But…there’s six of you,” he stammered.

“This was never going to be a fair fight.” Vera hung up the phone and then met Hamish’s gaze. “We’ve got an hour.” It wasn’t much but then, it was even less for the Order.

The next hour flew by in a blur of activity as they prepared. For negotiations. For deceit. Perimeter wards were checked and rechecked. Incantations were prepared and plans were made. And then they all held their breath.

When the sleek black car pulled up to the gate, Vera was waiting in the center of the driveway, Hamish and Gabrielle at her side, the rest of the pack hanging back at the house. She would give them the appearance of an even playing field, until they gave her a reason not to. Still, she held back a sigh of relief when the doors opened and only three practitioners got out.

All three looked far more somber than the first night they’d arrived. If Vera had truly considered them friends, she might have felt guilty for her part in the deception, for sending them on this wild goose chase when she’d had the answer all along. But Vera Stone didn’t have friends. She had acquaintances, some she liked more than others, and acquaintances could easily turn into adversaries with the right circumstances.

“Vera,” Matti murmured.

“Hello, Matthew,” Vera said. Her gaze moved on to the other two in turn. “Ashley. Luiz.”

Luiz held her gaze sadly. “Bitsy, Vera,” he reminded her softly, his Brazilian accent thick and emotional.

Her eyes closed for a moment. _This_ was why she hadn’t wanted Luiz on the team. She hadn’t wanted the personal connections. At the time, it had been because she hadn’t wanted her own secret revealed. Once Hamish had told her the truth about Kepler, however, she had been grateful for that foresight. And then Luiz Alves had walked into the Temple anyways and Vera had dreaded this moment, the same way she dreaded speaking with the families after a tragedy on campus.

“I only learned the truth when the Council began putting together a team,” Vera said, keeping her voice calm and in check. “This was not something I condoned.”

“But you’re protecting her murderer anyways,” Luiz said.

Vera sighed softly. This was the whole problem, the taking sides without ever considering that had it been one of the Knights killed instead, the Order would never have considered it murder. _Both_ groups were so steeped in blood that they were blind to the violence until it affected one of their own. Vera knew she was guilty of it too. But she didn’t know how to stop it.

“My own actions are partly to blame here,” Vera admitted. It had been her idea to bring the wolves in, against their will. She’d refused to listen, refused to even talk to them, and it had all been a domino effect from there. “Bitsy was an…unfortunate choice for the sacrifice but it is done and no amount of vengeance will change that.”

“It’s what’s required. It’s what the Order’s always done,” Matthew said, coming across somewhat unsure. Vera latched onto that uncertainty.

“They’re _kids,_ Matti. Kids who’ve been given far more responsibility than anyone their age should be. The oldest of them-” she gestured at Hamish, “isn’t even as old as our youngest Temple Magus. They’re going to make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. _Think_ about the stupid stuff you did as a medicum, a magistratus. And then imagine not having anyone there to guide you. They need to learn, not be punished.”

“And that was your job,” Luiz said, his voice a touch colder.

“And I failed. I admit it. I was just _a little_ ,” she pinched her fingers together, “distracted by Praxis. Hamish-” she gestured again, “was at my side, day in and day out. We left the younger wolves unsupervised and they screwed up. But we don’t kill our own for their mistakes and the Knight in question should be no different.”

“How long have you been sleeping with him?” Ashley asked, head tilted as she watched Vera.

Vera froze for an instant. _“Excuse me?”_ She rushed through the last few minutes in her head, reevaluating her actions. Whatever it had been, she could see Luiz and Matthew beginning to believe it too and Vera knew to stop when she’d been caught in a lie. “I don’t see how that matters,” she tried instead.

“It matters when it clouds your judgement,” Ashley told her.

“I’m not the one not seeing clearly.”

“Was it before you decided to induct them? Was that why you did it? To keep your, what? Fuckbuddy, close?”

Every muscle in her body had gone tense. She felt Hamish set a hand on her back, no longer bothering to hide their connection, but she shrugged him off.

“The Grand Magus brought the Knights in because she saw what powerful allies they could be.” Vera’s head snapped around, unprepared for someone to suddenly come to her defense. Gabrielle had stepped up to stand squarely beside her, chin raised in defiance. “I fought the wolves, with Kepler, last year. Well, one wolf. Vera and Hamish obliterated us. We didn’t stand a chance. And that was without the other three joining in. The Grand Magus made a call because of what she saw that day. She wanted to make the Order stronger. I think she would have, if Kepler and the rest of you would have been willing to let her.”

“So says a wolf,” Ashley said skeptically.

Gabrielle shrugged. “A recent one. I was Order first. I led the hunt to flush them out last year. I helped Kepler interrogate one. I hated them every bit as much as the rest of the Order. But then I started trying to understand them and I stopped viewing them as enemies. And there happened to be a spare hide.”

Gabrielle’s speech gave Vera enough time to pull herself back together. “Thank you, Ms. Dupres,” she said, taking a step forward. “Now, is there anything _other_ than my relationships you would like to discuss? We will not be handing over the Knight in question and, in fact, I believe you will find that I’ve released the Knights as a whole from any previous contracts with the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. The paperwork is on my old desk in the Reliquary.” Vera was ready to end this. She’d gotten what she wanted and dragging on this charade wouldn’t change anything anyways.

“You’re really doing this,” Matthew asked. “You’re leaving us, for them?”

Vera arched a brow. “I would have preferred to continue on as Grand Magus of the Order _with_ the Knights of the Blue Rose. But that seems an impossibility.”

“So why did you ask us here?” Matthew asked.

“If I remember correctly, _you_ invited _me_ first. And I was curious.” Vera turned to leave, signaling for her two guards to follow. She counted. One step. Two steps. Three…

“About what?” Matthew called after her.

Vera lifted a hand in farewell. “Tell the Council we’ll be ready to negotiate when they are,” she said, letting the wind carry her voice back to them. “And I do apologize for the inconvenience but we needed a little insurance.”

“What is she talking about?” she heard Ashley whisper.

“I’m calling David,” Matthew said, sounding just as alarmed.

Vera could have smiled.

“They’re going to figure out we robbed them now,” Hamish said, the moment the door closed.

“I know.”

“Why’d you tell them? I thought we wanted to buy time?” he asked.

Vera turned to face him. “Because we only would have gotten maybe a day more, at most. And then they would have tried to retaliate.”

Hamish arched a brow. “And you don’t think they will now?”

“I’m sure they will at some point, but, hopefully, they will realize they need to take the time to think first. Ms. Dupres,” she nodded at Gabrielle gratefully, “reminded them that taking on a pack of werewolves will not be an easy feat. They will soon find they are severely lacking in any artifacts or incantations that would give them an upper hand, as well as any and all books on werewolves or other magical creatures. But they also know that we are willing to negotiate, and that is something they will need to consider before they remove that option from the table. Hopefully for some time.”

“How long do you think?” Hamish asked.

“If they haven’t attacked in the next few days, then we should have time. I had to fight tooth and nail to get them on board with each and every move against Praxis. This will be personal,” she admitted, “but the Council is incapable of acting quickly. There are also the vacancies left behind by myself and Kepler that will need to be attended to as well.” She let out a heavy breath. “One can hope.”

“So what do we do now?” Jack asked.

Vera looked up to find the remaining werewolves standing at the top of the steps, watching her. “I was asked to teach you. That’s what I intend to do.”

“Great. More magic,” Randall grumbled.

Vera’s jaw clenched slightly. She probably had more than a few one-on-one lessons in her future with that particular wolf.


	12. Sanetur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days. Kept getting distracted watching this big horse rescue training competition the past several days. But here's a little update on how things are going with Vera and the wolves. :p

“Oh, for fucks sake! You’ve got ears, use them.”

“But you’re not even speaking English!”

“And you’re supposed to be pre-med. God help us all, if you can’t even memorize the pronunciation of a couple little spells.”

Hamish struggled not to laugh as Vera and Randall went head to head on the front lawn for the fourth day in a row. Vera had been serious when she said she intended to teach them, though _train_ them might be a more appropriate word. Like a pet dog. And Vera wasn’t the type to use bribery to achieve her goal.

“You’re not going to help at all, are you?” Lilith asked from her seat beside him. Unlike Hamish, she didn’t have a book in hand. She was just there to watch the show.

“Definitely not,” he said, flipping the page. While Vera worked on whipping the other Knights into shape, she’d put Hamish on another research mission. One he should have done years ago. The Knights journals were filled with lost knowledge and Vera didn’t want to be caught off-guard by another Vade Maecum or another Alpha, or anything else the Knights should have been doing and had failed to.

Lilith laughed. “She scares you too? How does that work in the bedroom?”

Hamish gave her an unamused look. Ever since he’d brought Vera home, the quips had not stopped coming. “It terrifies me that you’re all so interested in our bedroom activities,” he said flatly. He glanced back at the pair and snorted when he saw Vera was very slowly enunciating again, her hands unconsciously flexing as if she wanted to strangle Randall. “And I’m not stepping in, because both of them would be expecting me to side with them.”

“You’re a guy. I get why you wouldn’t want to piss off your girlfriend. What’s your excuse for Randall though?”

“Have you met Randall? He’d be worse than Vera. I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Do I need to get a knife from your _basement_ and stab you with it?” Vera asked, her voice rising again in frustration.

“It _is_ a basement,” Randall taunted back. The ongoing debate over whether to refer to the newly restocked room as a basement or a reliquary had been yet another frequent source of irritation. “And I got this already. Can we just move on?”

Vera looked upwards and took in a steadying breath. “No,” she said with a forced calm. “Because you don’t _got this._ You are lucking out. Barely. And if you can’t even do a _simple_ healing incantation without stumbling over the _one word,_ how can I ever trust you with something more precise?”

“Maybe I don’t care about doing big, complex spells. I’m a Knight, not a practitioner.”

“No, you _are_ a practitioner. What you’re not, is a good one. However, repetition is key, and since I apparently have nothing better to do with my time now, we are going to keep doing these simple spells until you no longer sound like a bumbling idiot. So I suggest you actually start trying.”

“And threatening to _stab_ me is your idea of motivation?”

“Well, you clearly are not self-motivated.”

“You could try being nice.”

Vera flung her hands up. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”

Randall looked at her skeptically. “This is nice?”

“You would have been an abysmal neophyte,” Vera muttered under her breath.

“A neo-what?” Randall tapped his ear. “Werewolf hearing. Remember?”

Vera clenched her teeth, her jaw working irritably. Finally, she glanced over to where Hamish and Lilith were sitting. “Ms. Bathory, a moment?”

Lilith huffed but drug herself out of her chair and walked over to them. “What?”

Vera gave a falsely cheerful smile and let it drop just as quickly. “He’s healing you. Keep going until I say otherwise.”

Randall looked startled.

Lilith looked outraged. “What?! You want me to-”

“Just be glad I’m not making you use one of those knives in the _basement.”_ Vera waved a hand for them to proceed and walked off, headed towards Lilith’s empty chair. “He’s going to get you all killed,” she said to Hamish.

“It’s not that bad,” Hamish said half-heartedly.

“He doesn’t _care._ Do you realize how impossible it is to teach someone who doesn’t give a damn?”

“Randall cares. He’s just not-”

“You need magic to fight magic. Or else you die. You would think he’s seen enough to understand that,” Vera interjected.

“He’ll figure it out.”

Vera huffed but didn’t debate it further. She glanced over, arching a brow at the journal in his hands. “Have you found anything interesting yet?”

Hamish chuckled weakly. “Only that the Knights have fallen a long, long way since these first Champions.” The Knights depicted in the earliest journals had been powerful, well-respected practitioners. It hurt a little to think of the Knights decline, to think of Cassie and the others they had lost, and to know that maybe in a different time, they wouldn’t have had to die at all.

“Oh? Are you-”

“Starting from the earliest journals,” Hamish confirmed. It had been her idea, and something he’d protested at first. His thought had been the more recent the journal, the more relevant the material, and he was aware this would be a long, tiresome project. But in the end, he’d accepted that she may be right and reading them chronologically would give the clearest picture of the Knights’ purposes, as well as their failings. And it was obvious they had failed, horribly, somewhere along the line.

Vera didn’t respond, although her smug expression said enough on its own. She subconsciously leaned in closer, her eyes still locked on the pair practicing in the yard, and Hamish swallowed thickly and had to remind himself to breathe through his mouth. Having Vera so near, not having to hide anymore, was proving more torturous than he’d expected. The idea of being able to reach out and touch her whenever he wanted was causing his body to respond like a pubescent boy. Every look, every touch, just the smell of her perfume was enough to make him want her. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up embarrassing her and himself. Just because he could touch her in front of others, didn’t mean Vera was comfortable enough to allow it. The teasing that would follow if anyone noticed the way he reacted to her mere presence these days would probably be enough to make her reconsider staying at the Den at all.

“I have something I want to try whenever we can get a moment alone,” Vera said quietly, never looking away from Lilith and Randall.

Hamish shifted in his seat, reading officially forgotten for the time being. “Oh?” he said, keeping his tone cool.

Vera turned to look at him, frowning. “Not like that,” she said. Then her frown morphed into a small smirk. “But if we’ve got time…”

Hamish was going to struggle with the wait.

Tundra was pleased with how recent events had unfolded. The pack was safe for a time, and without needing to resort to violence which would have risked this almost complete team, which left Tundra free to focus on more pressing matters. Namely, convincing his Champions to produce a pup.

Tundra was learning his Champion’s mating habits, which buttons to press to rekindle the always smoldering embers of desire. Each one had a role to play, with scent proving to be the most useful of them. Scent meant that his Champion didn’t have to be looking, didn’t even have to be in the same room, to be aware of his mate. It didn’t even require any specific action from her. All she needed was to be present, which she always was these days, causing her scent to fill his nose everywhere he went. Always present. Always tempting. It was beginning to permeate the very sheets they slept in, the room becoming hers as much as it was his. It was almost too easy.

With Tundra’s nose, they could detect so many complex, variable notes in the woman’s scent, beyond the common, more potent aromas like perfumes and sweat. First, he needed to get his Champion on board. Then, he just needed to wait.


	13. Fors Factorum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky chapter thirteen! This one threw me a bit for a loop of how to get it across but I'm okay with how it turned out. Slowly twisting these threads together. :D

Vera hadn’t had a roommate since her undergrad years in college and even then, her dorm room had been more of a place to sleep than a place she lived. She spent her days at the library or the Temple or participating in various extracurriculars. Her roommates had been whoever the school housing assigned her. None of them had ever invaded any other aspect of her life and most of them were now nameless, faceless shapes in her past. It had been an entirely different experience from her current situation.

Living with five others was not where Vera had imagined herself at this stage in her life. She’d grown accustomed to having her own space, where everything could have its place and it would always be there. She was used to things being neat and orderly and _clean,_ something that a few of her new roommates seemed to object to. She was used to coming home and cooking dinner for herself, or picking up take-out, and not having her groceries disappear as quickly as she could stock them. Vera did not know how to cook for six people and she was finding herself a little alarmed by the sheer amount of food that took each meal.

And then there was Hamish. Vera had gotten comfortable with the routine they’d found themselves in these past months. As unsettled as she’d initially been by the sudden appearance of a toothbrush in the holder beside hers, she had quickly come to accept it. Hamish was respectful of her home and her belongings and it had been nice to have someone there for a change. And so she’d gotten used to the dinners, and the post-dinner cocktails, often followed up by sex on her living room couch. Or the kitchen counter. Or the dinner table. Or up against the wall in the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. Vera had learned that Hamish fit neatly into her life. She didn’t know where she fit into his.

Everything was different at the Den, where there was always somebody else around. It was a life he was comfortable with, people he was comfortable with, and so maybe it wasn’t unthinkable that Hamish wanted to be able to touch her or even kiss her in front of the people who were essentially his family. And yet every time he reached for her, something made her want to pull away. Maybe it was because the age difference between them had never been so evident. Maybe it was simple self-preservation; Vera’s relationships had always been private and when they ended, they simply ended and that was that. Whatever it was, Vera knew she needed to either get over it, or walk away before one of them got hurt.

“Hamish. Hamish! _Hamish!”_

Hamish started and shook his head but still didn’t tear his eyes from the page in front of him. At least not until Randall plucked the journal out of his hand and flipped it over.

“What is this? 1800’s porn?”

“Haha. Very funny. Now give it back.” What it was was something that could be infinitely more important, not that Hamish intended to tell Randall about it just yet.

Randall rolled his eyes and deposited the book back in Hamish’s hand. “Mommy wants everyone washed up and ready for dinner in ten.”

“Don’t call her that,” Hamish groaned.

Randall crinkled his nose. “Yeah. I guess it’s kind of creepy when Big Brother Hamish is banging her.”

Hamish gave him an unenthused look. “Or that.”

Randall slapped his hand against the doorframe as he walked back out. “Ten minutes! Smells like she made lasagna!”

Hamish really needed to thank Vera, again, for putting up with them. And cooking dinner almost every night for the past week. And he was pretty sure the only reason she wasn’t cleaning up after them was because she’d turned that one into a magic lesson.

For the moment though, he settled back into his chair and reopened the journal. Dinner could wait when his mind was already spinning, racing through possibilities or even just trying to grasp the truth of the situation.

It had started with an otherwise non-descript journal, penned by one of Alpha’s early Champions. It was thin, the ink nearly faded, and if not for Vera’s insistence, he may have skipped right over it. That would have been a mistake. Already snippets and phrases were locked in his mind.

_The Grand Magus will not listen…the incantation…they do not understand the danger…I fear it will prove too powerful…the hide lends its strength, without one…the Gnostic Council has voted. We have lost…I pray my fears are proven false. We will know in time._

It was an entry any other Knight would have passed by, without understanding the possibilities. But since the day Vera had told him about the Fors Factorum, since the day she’d told him it was slowly killing her, hardly a day went by that the secret incantation wasn’t on Hamish’s mind. While Vera searched for remedies to her lost magic, Hamish quietly sought a remedy for the sickness she’d imposed on herself. He refused to accept that there was no hope, no answer, when even the spell itself seemed absurdly unbalanced. He understood why so few ever chose to perform it. What he hadn’t understood was why it had been created in the first place, who had decided that one’s life should be the price for such a small reward. And if it had been an unintended consequence, why hadn’t the incantation been destroyed immediately? Just another failed experiment.

Hamish suspected he had the answer now and he kept reading until he found the final entry.

_It is done and the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose shall fail for it. Already the Elders have begun to fall, cut down by unseen disease. I fear the Grand Magus will follow soon. Already, he sickens. I know not what our future will hold. My only hope is that not all partook in the great, terrible ritual and some will live to face the dawn of our next era. I fear I will not be permitted to see it through._

Hamish closed the book. He _knew_ it was the Fors Factorum. It had to be. He knew the history that Vera had shared with him. He suspected even she didn’t know the full truth. The Fors Factorum had never been intended for the Order’s use. It had been an addition to compliment the hides of the Knights of the Blue Rose, with their superior strength and rapid healing abilities. It had been a boost for the Order’s protectors, nothing more. But power so often corrupted those it strengthened, and so the elders of that ancient Order had taken it from the Knights, who were, after all, only highly regarded members of the same organizations, so that they too could share in the ease of magic with no sacrifice, no limits. Only it had overpowered their human bodies and destroyed them, as it was destroying Vera.

Hamish closed the book.

By the time Hamish made it upstairs, the kitchen was bustling with activity. Plates were being set, napkins folded, silverware gathered, drinks poured, and in the center of it all was Vera, directing the motley pack of wolves. Hamish couldn’t help but smile. Domestic Vera was not so different from Grand Magus Vera, with her short temper and high expectations, but her hair was pulled up and her sleeves were rolled back and he was pretty sure that was flour smudged across one cheek. She took one look at him and nodded towards the fridge.

“You’re late,” she greeted him.

“Sorry, I was at the end of a journal and I wanted to finish,” he said, heading towards the fridge. He pulled open the door and found two large bowls of salad had already been prepared, waiting to be delivered to the table.

_“Finish?”_ Randall mouthed at him with a crude gesture.

Hamish rammed a shoulder into the younger man as he passed by.

“Anything interesting?” Vera asked, as she always did.

“Just more ancient Order business,” he lied. He wasn’t going to tell her, not until he was sure. Not until he could tell her he had a cure. Because the Fors Factorum required a hide, and Hamish knew there was still one out there. Alpha. The hide of Grafton Davis. The hide of the Knight’s leader. And as Hamish watched Vera in the kitchen, the other Knight’s smoothly working around her, following her directions, he couldn’t think of anyone better suited for the job. He couldn’t think of anyone he would rather follow. But Hamish had to be sure. He wasn’t going to give Vera false hope. First, he needed to better understand Alpha and the journals seemed the place to start.

Vera gave a small laugh. “Anything useful then?”

“From the 1800’s?”

Vera shrugged, pulling open the oven door a hair to peek in. “History does repeat itself,” she commented. “And I think we’re done.”

“Finally! I’m starving,” Randall announced.

Vera gave him a droll look. “When are you not?”

Randall shrugged and gave her a cheeky grin. “I’m a growing boy.”

Vera made a point of scanning him up and down, looking unimpressed.

“We decided Greybeard has a tapeworm,” Hamish offered.

“Dinner. Please,” Vera said, looking disgusted. Still, she pulled one pan out of the oven and shoved it at Randall. “That one is yours, Mr. Carpio.”

Randall took it, nearly burning himself when he missed the oven mitt on one side. “Dude! Seriously?” Hamish thought Randall might have looked a little impressed.

Vera huffed. “I am not a _dude._ But I am learning.” She pulled out another, bigger pan next and set it on the stovetop. Then Hamish was pretty sure she muttered something about running out of food but he didn’t quite catch it.

Randall was already headed for the table with his personal lasagna. “Do we get dessert too?”

“You and Miss Dupres already finished off the ice cream,” Vera answered.

“But that was like an hour ago!”

“And he ate most of it,” Gabrielle added.

“There is cake mix in the pantry. Help yourself,” Vera said.

Hamish waited for the others to slowly disappear into the dining room before he approached Vera, coming to stand behind her. She still tensed a little when he set his hands on her hips but she didn’t comment.

“Thank you. For putting up with them,” he whispered.

She gave a small shiver when his breath brushed against her ear and turned to face him. His hands slipped from her waist and moved to the countertop, holding her in place. “Well, you are putting me up for the moment,” she said lightly.

Hamish grinned. “More like forced you into it.” He leaned in a little closer. “You know I never expected you to feel like you needed to take care of us.”

A brief smile flashed across her lips. “Honestly, I’m just not sure I trust any of them to do the cooking. I don’t have my magic. I don’t need food poisoning too.”

Hamish barked a laugh. “Well still, thank you.”

Vera leaned up and pressed her lips to his for a split second. “We’d better go before the food’s gone. We still have Mr. Morton to contend with.”

Hamish kissed her again before finally stepping back. He watched her disappear into the dining room before following. Hamish was going to find a way to save her. He wasn’t going to accept that she’d already made the deal and the ink was dried on the page. And he suspected Alpha might just be the ticket.


	14. Revelentur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Hurricane prep slowed me down! (Ended up missing us entirely, of course, thankfully). But y'all get a bit longer chapter today. And Tundra had some fun in this one. Also just realized that I mentioned Nicole, then forgot about her. But I did have a plan for her! lol.

He should have just stayed a wolf. In his defense, Hamish hadn’t expected his little soldier to take note of Vera’s presence when he was in wolf form. It had never once happened with Cassie, or during the times he’d changed around Vera in the past. And yet here he was, stark-ass-naked and standing at full attention. He wasn’t sure who was more mortified.

“Um, is that normal?” Nicole asked, keeping her eyes trained on the ground at her feet.

“Nope.” The word popped on Lilith’s lips. Her face was scrunched in an amused sort of disgust, though with their mutual comfort level, she wasn’t actively trying to look away either. Hamish wished she would.

“Somebody just grab a robe. Quickly.” Vera had her eyes closed, though he’d seen the glimpse of desire burning there before it had been masked by horror. It hadn’t helped his situation.

Lilith barked a laugh. “I doubt it’ll help,” she commented. She was probably right but she fetched it anyways, while Hamish kept his hands occupied trying to hide himself. She handed it to him, shaking her head. “Should we just give you two a few minutes for a quickie before we continue?”

It was amazing how chilling a look Vera could give while still keeping one eye closed. “Miss Bathory, that’s enough,” she chided.

Lilith just rolled her eyes. “You’re _sleeping in his bed,_ we’re not little kids, and we’ve got ears,” she said, ticking them off on her fingers. “We all know you’ve been fucking like bunnies for months now.”

Vera looked ready to both sink into the ground and rip Lilith’s head off. Her mouth opened but, for a split second at least, nothing came out.

“Lil,” Hamish interjected, “just because we’re not hiding it anymore, doesn’t mean we need to talk about it either.” He nodded towards Nicole, directing Lilith’s attention to her girlfriend, who was making herself as small as possible and looked like she wanted to disappear into a hole herself.

“From what I’ve heard, you weren’t hiding it that well to start with,” Lilith muttered. “But we’re going to go _anywhere_ else for a few minutes. Meet back here in fifteen? Twenty?”

“You really don’t-” Vera began, cutting herself off when she realized Lilith was going either way. She waited until the pair was out of earshot before turning back to Hamish and giving a heavy sigh. “Just go take care of that.”

“I’m sorry, Vera. Nothing like this has ever happened before.”

Vera hummed, unconvinced, and shooed him away. “Go on. I’m not helping you and lingering here isn’t going to change my mind.”

There was a time Vera wouldn’t have hesitated and likely would have initiated it in the first place. They’d spent months sneaking around, had countless trysts in the reliquary and the vault, and even the odd encounter behind the Temple’s bar when she’d been feeling particularly daring. And then, a little over a week earlier, everything had changed. They no longer had to worry about being found out. Vera was, temporarily, living with him. And she was afraid to let him show even the tiniest bit of affection where someone might see. It would have been comical, if Hamish wasn’t so uncertain about what it meant for them. But he also knew Vera struggled with letting people get close and while he’d started slipping past that wall, there was a houseful of others who hadn’t. He could give her the time to figure it out.

When he returned, Vera was sitting alone on a fallen log, looking defeated. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen that look on her recently. Vera was so damn tough, so resilient, but she was still only human.

“Sorry. Again,” he said, announcing his presence.

Vera instantly drew herself back up, masking whatever hopelessness had been weighing on her. She eyed him, though this time he was relieved to see a touch of amusement in her gaze. “Yes, well, the next time you want to give me something in front of your friends, flowers will do,” she said, giving him a suggestive smirk that threatened to rekindle the issue. Hamish needed to squash that line of thought before it started.

“So how do you think it’s going?” he asked, rapidly changing the subject. Earlier in the week, Vera had brought up the query of whether the Knights would be capable of performing magic while in their wolf form and had pulled him aside to test the theory. On a couple of tries, he thought he’d nearly had it, only for the attempt to fizzle out.

Vera glanced down, still smirking, until she got herself under control and looked back at him. “She’s managing more than you are,” she said, echoing his thoughts. While Hamish had become an accomplished practitioner in his own right and could hold his own in a discussion on magical theory, Lilith had simply had the most practice. “I think an adepti would have been able to do it with ease. You simply need more practice. It needs to become second nature. You need to be able to stop thinking about it and just let it happen. Miss Bathory is having some success with the earliest incantations she learned because she spent so much time practicing them. You were a quick learner and I think that hurts you here. You missed out on the repetition that most of our disciples spend years doing.” Hamish watched her face twist as she remembered she wasn’t a part of the ‘our’ anymore, but she didn’t bother to correct herself.

“I guess we can tell Randall then,” Hamish laughed. “He can’t use it as a short cut.” Hamish was fairly certain Randall was the sole reason Vera hadn’t presented the idea to the entire group from the start.

She rolled her eyes. “I can’t say he’ll ever reach that level of proficiency.”

“You’re probably right,” Hamish agreed.

“About what?” Lilith asked, suddenly appearing through the trees with Nicole right behind her. She glanced between Hamish and Vera. “I guess that didn’t take long.”

Vera huffed and stood up, smoothing her non-wrinkled blouse. “Enough. There wasn’t any reason for you leave in the first place.”

Lilith looked to Hamish to confirm. He shrugged, twisting his expression into one of ‘what can you do?’ Lilith actually looked surprised. “Oh. Well, damn. I tried?”

“Can we please get back to work? I believe Miss Birch does have classes today?”

“Remind me again why she’s here?” Randall asked as they watched Nicole and Lilith say goodbye.

“You remember Lilith?” Jack said sarcastically.

“Yeah, but Vera doesn’t have her locked down here with us. Who knows what she’s telling the Order,” Randall said.

“Hopefully everything,” Vera said, walking up behind them.

Randall jumped. “Shit! Are you everywhere now?”

Vera gave him an unimpressed look before glancing out the window herself. “They won’t hurt her.”

“I’m more worried about them hurting us,” Randall replied.

Vera sighed. “As I explained to Miss Birch, I want a spy. I want to know at least something about what movements they’re making. I want to know who they plan to install as Temple Magus and, more importantly, Grand Magus.”

“So giving _them_ a spy too is your brilliant idea? They have to know she’s coming here.”

“For now, yes.” A small, sly smile tugged at her lips. “It doesn’t hurt to have them see that even though you’ve left the Order, you’re continuing to train. I want them to worry that you’re becoming more powerful. In fact, I want them to think that even if they called the whole, fucking Order against you, they won’t stand a chance.”

“Uh, what exactly were you doing in the forest this morning?” Jack asked uncertainly.

“I had a theory I wanted to test. The Knights were always meant to be practitioners. The hides enhance your magical strength but the need to change back and forth in the event of a fight seems sloppy. I was curious whether or not you would be able to perform magic as a wolf.”

“Uh, well we can’t talk, so that’s a no,” Randall said.

“You also turn into a magical creature. The rules do not apply,” Vera enunciated slowly.

“Whoa, are you saying we _can_ do it?” Randall asked.

“It is _not_ a shortcut, Mr. Carpio, but Miss Bathory did have some success with a couple spells.”

“Can I try it?”

“On your own time. We’re not wasting a lesson on something you’re going to fail at. Speaking of which, Miss Dupres, Mr. Morton, if you’d come with me.”

Randall waited until the front door shut behind them. “Why am I the only one stuck with private lessons?”

Hamish snorted. “Because you need them?”

“Maybe I would do better if I didn’t have her breathing down my neck the entire time.”

“She wouldn’t feel the need to do that if you applied yourself a little. You’re not stupid. You could learn this if you wanted.”

Randall sighed. “It’s just…we _fight_ magic. It feels like we’re betraying the Knights. Magic _killed_ Cassie, Hamish.” It was a low blow and he knew it, instantly going silent.

“Cassie died, because we didn’t know how to save her. It might have been different if we’d had Vera back then.”

Hamish walked away before he said something he’d regret. All these years later, Cassie was still a sore spot, maybe she always would be, but it was a wound that kept reopening as he realized it didn’t have to turn out like it did. The one commonality he’d found amongst the journals thus far was that the Champions of old didn’t fear death every time they went out, and it wasn’t because they were made of sterner stuff. It was because they’d had the tools they needed to handle the situations they were facing. Hamish had come to think of it as the Champions of the past pledged their life to the cause. Today’s Champions pledged their deaths. After all, a life was a small thing to pledge when it only meant a couple years.

As he’d expected, it didn’t take Randall long to come after him, plopping himself down on Hamish’s bed before looking around. There were little hints of Vera everywhere now: clothes that clearly didn’t belong to Hamish in the laundry basket, a few strands of long, dark hair caught in the bristles of the brush on the dresser, the empty suitcase tucked into a corner of the room, the perfume that had begun to linger so the room always smelled like her.

Randall took it all in, before turning to the picture on Hamish’s nightstand. “You really think it would have been different?”

“How could it not be? We were fighting blind. We can’t fight magic if we don’t understand magic, and we’ve been dying because of it for years.”

Randall thought about it for a minute. “I wish I could have met her,” he said finally.

Hamish gave him a small, crooked smile. “I wish you could have, too. She would have approved of my choice for a Knight, I think.”

Randall smiled back. “Unlike your current girlfriend, who’s probably going to stab me one of these days and make it look like an accident.” Then he gave a laugh. “Cassie and Vera together. I’d pay to see that. They would have had you _so_ whipped. Which one do you think you’d have picked? Or do you think they would have shared you?”

“Randall,” Hamish warned.

“What? It’s a serious question,” Randall said, chuckling.

“No, it’s not. And it’s not a fair one, either.”

“I won’t tell Vera,” Randall teased.

“Okay then. Lilith or Gabrielle?”

Randall blinked. “That’s not the same thing.”

“I think it is. You’ve got a history with both of them, but Gabby didn’t happen until Lilith was no longer an option.”

“Yeah, but-”

Hamish sighed and cut him off. “Look, I loved Cassie, but that was the love of a boy who’d never been hurt, let alone broken. That boy wouldn’t have even known where to begin with someone like Vera. But I lost everything and I grew into someone who could understand her. I know that the two of you don’t see eye to eye on most things but she’s important to me. I wish you’d understand that.”

Randall gave a relenting huff. “I get it. I don’t know what you see in her, but I get it.” A crooked smile slowly crept over his face. “I just wish I could have seen her face this morning when you-”

“Lilith did _not_ tell you,” Hamish groaned.

Randall laughed. “Of course, she did! That’s fucking hilarious. What happened?”

Hamish groaned, running a hand over his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Has this happened before?” Randall kept laughing.

“Not this, exactly, but I feel like I’m always aware of her lately. This morning was just worse. Maybe because our senses are even stronger as a wolf? I just know that she was right there, and I could smell her. It was distracting. I’ve never acted on something I sensed as a wolf though.”

“I have,” Randall offered, “but that was like, Greybeard smelled a hamburger and then I ran to grab one. I don’t think Greybeard notices women.”

“I didn’t think Tundra did either but he must have today.”

Randall laughed. “Maybe he wants puppies,” he joked, "and he’s tracking Vera like a bitch in heat.”

Hamish couldn’t respond.

“Get it? Bitch? As in, female dog? And Vera’s a total bitch?” Randall prompted.

“What the fuck?” Hamish blurted.

The hides didn’t communicate in words. They spoke through feelings, emotions, subtle pushes that their Champions had to learn to listen for and understand. And right then, Hamish was getting a resounding yes.


	15. Revelentur Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess this'll be a three part chapter. Still got one more to go!

“What the fuck?”

“Oh, come on. I call her a bitch at least once a week.”

“Not you,” Hamish groaned. He was pretty sure he was going to be sick. _This_ was not in his plans. At all. Not since eight years earlier, when Cassie had died and Hamish had realized what exactly he’d signed up for and what he’d have to give up: a future, his family, a wife, children. Hamish wasn’t going to leave behind a grieving family. He wasn’t going to have babies who would then have to grow up without him. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone when he already knew his fate. Even Vera was more than he’d planned to allow himself.

Randall looked confused. “Sooooo…you’re talking to yourself now?”

“Tundra,” Hamish grumbled.

“Tundra thinks she’s a bitch too?”

“Tundra wants _puppies,”_ Hamish said through gritted teeth.

Randall choked on his laugh. “He’s got to be fucking with you,” he sputtered through coughs.

Hamish just gave a dull laugh. He wasn’t sure the hides _could_ joke.

“Well, shit,” Randall said, once he managed to stop coughing. “What are you gonna do? Hey! If you get a baby, can I get a puppy?”

Hamish glanced at him flatly. “Definitely not.”

“Is that a no on the puppy or…”

“We’re not having a baby, Randall,” Hamish snapped. He just needed to figure out a way to convince Tundra of that. At least now that he knew what Tundra was up to, he and Vera could avoid any unexpected surprises in their future.

Randall gave him a tight, uncomfortable grin. “Then maybe you’d better sleep on the couch tonight. You know, just in case Tundra’s picking up on something.”

Hamish heaved a sigh and buried his face in his hands. Randall was probably right. He needed to avoid the temptation, at least until he understood what Tundra was playing at.

“Do you need to talk this out?” Randall asked, scrunching up his face as if the idea disturbed him.

“Randall, I think I just need some time to sort through this.”

“Alright. Well, I’m here if you change your mind.”

Hamish found himself rethinking everything. Every time he saw Vera and some part of him hummed in response, was that him or Tundra? Every crazy, spontaneous touch or kiss that had felt so natural at the time, was it real? Or had it been Tundra all along? Hamish _felt_ like it was all real. His connection with Vera was there, it always had been, and he wanted to believe it was more than the product of a magical wolf hide prodding him along. The problem was, he didn’t know when Tundra’s meddling had started, or why. His only relief was that if Tundra was pushing so hard, it meant Vera wasn’t already pregnant. Tundra hadn’t snuck this past him while he’d been entirely unaware and that meant Hamish could still prevent it. He just hoped he wouldn’t scare Vera away entirely in the process.

Hamish was still sprawled across his bed, arm flung over his eyes, when the door creaked open again. He didn’t need to look to know it was her. Even if he couldn’t sense her himself, Tundra was practically begging him to go scoop her up and carry her over to the bed. Thankfully, Tundra didn’t feel the need to cause a repeat of the morning’s humiliation. This time.

“I take it you’ve been getting an earful,” Vera said. He felt her side of the bed dip slightly.

Hamish pulled his arm away from his eyes. “Tell me Jack and Gabby haven’t been running their mouths too.”

She arched a brow. “I meant because you’re hiding out in here. But I take it Miss Bathory wasn’t inclined to keep this morning’s fun to herself?”

Hamish chuckled. “Secrets don’t tend to stay secret long around here.”

Vera hummed unhappily. “So I’m learning.” But when she huffed, Hamish immediately started to sit up. He recognized that look in her eyes. “Hamish-” she began.

“Vera,” he said at the same moment.

“-I think I should go home.”

“Why?” He finished sitting up and swung his legs over the side of the bed to sit beside her.

“Because…what are we even doing, Hamish? I’m _thirty-seven.”_ She glanced down, taking in a breath. “My daughter would have been older than half the people in this house. I don’t belong here.”

“Yes, you do,” he insisted. “We all do. We’re all different, Vera. Maybe we never even would have known each other once, but what we have in common? It’s this. The Knights, and what we’re trying to do here. And maybe you don’t have a hide, but that doesn’t mean you’re not part of this. The Knights never would have survived the last year without you.” He gave her a crooked smile. “And maybe the daughter you had when you were _sixteen_ should have been older than a few of these idiots, but I’m not one of them. I’m not a kid. Nine years isn’t that big of a gap.”

Vera looked at him like she was trying to find a reason not to believe him.

“I didn’t get all the other Knights on board with this, for you to leave after a week. At least stay until things settle down with the Order.” He would lock her in the house with a 24/7 guard if he had to, but telling her as much would just make her push back that much harder.

“On one condition,” she said after she’d thought it over. Hamish nodded for her to continue. “We go back to staying at my place afterwards.”

Hamish grinned. “Every other night,” he countered playfully.

Vera’s eyes widened, not expecting an argument, and then narrowed. “I’ll give you one night a week.”

“Every second night.”

Vera scoffed. “Two nights, every other week. That’s the most you’re getting.”

Hamish chuckled. “Deal.”

Vera rolled her eyes, holding back a smirk, and leaned in to kiss him. “And Hamish,” she said, a breath away from his lips.

“Hmm?”

“I swear, if any of your friends make one more comment about hearing us having sex, I’m leaving.” Then she pressed her lips to his, just long enough to leave him wanting more before pulling away. “I need to eat something before Mr. Carpio’s lesson. Otherwise, it might finally be the day we kill each other,” she said cheerfully, forcing a smile.

“We can’t have that,” Hamish agreed, smiling at her.

His smile fell the moment she walked out the door. How the hell was he supposed to tell her? He knew Vera would view children much the same way he did; it was a path in her life she’d already given up and not one she was looking to revisit. Only unlike him, Hamish wasn’t sure if Vera would stand up to Tundra. It seemed more likely she’d just call it quits and run. These days, she seemed halfway there already.

Hamish jumped off the bed when he heard Vera call, “Mr. Carpio, let’s get this over with.” It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the pair, he just needed to be sure.

He made it down the steps just in time to fall in step behind Lilith, Jack and Gabrielle, the latter two looking a little…scorched? He made a note to ask Vera what she’d been doing to the poor trainees when he had a chance.

Vera glanced up and waved a hand vaguely towards something behind her and the trio dispersed without a word, though he was pretty sure they were all grinning. Hamish watched them, completely confused.

Randall finally ventured out the door a couple minutes later, despite that fact he’d most likely been with Gabrielle and the others when Vera had called, and cementing Hamish’s thought that he was purposefully trying to be late to every single lesson. When Randall saw him, he smiled encouragingly.

“Hey, it looks like you’ve still got all working parts!”

Hamish’s eyes widened and he shook his head, hoping Randall would get the picture.

“Is there a reason he wouldn’t?” Vera asked, looking at Randall with irritation.

Randall looked between them. “Uh, just since this morning-”

“Right. Well, we don’t need to talk about that,” Vera cut him off abruptly. “Come along,” she said, leading him to the small table where she’d set up the day’s lesson. For the first time in a week, the table looked different.

Randall got a bit of a bounce in his step. “Yes! Does this mean we’re finally moving on from healing spells?”

Vera huffed. “You’re no longer at immediate risk of death,” she consented.

“This is that tracking spell, right?” Randall asked, stepping closer to get a better look. Hamish could have sworn he saw Randall sniff as he did it.

Vera tensed instantly. “That is close enough, Mr. Carpio,” she said, stepping away. “But yes. This is a tracking incantation. I’ve-”

“Who do I get to find?” he interrupted.

Vera glared. “Would you let me finish?” she snapped. “I’ve set up a bit of a game. Your friends are out there,” she waved a hand towards the surrounding trees, “somewhere. You’ve got to find them.”

“That’s easy,” Randall said.

_“No cheating,”_ Vera said firmly. “That means no wolfing out, no tracking them by smell, or sound, or whatever you would normally do. Your wolf is entirely _off-limits.”_ The intensity in her eyes made him wonder where she was talking to Randall or Greybeard.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I already know this one. Can I go?”

Vera looked dubious but waved a hand, dismissing him. She came to stand beside Hamish.

“You set up a scavenger hunt?” Hamish asked, amused.

Vera rolled her eyes. “He’s a child. When your methods aren’t working, try something new.” There was a slight twinkle in her eye, a silent hint that she was up to something.

“What did you do?” Hamish asked, turning to fully face her.

She shrugged, watching until Randall disappeared into the trees, carrying his bowl. “It’s possible he’ll still need to practice the healing incantations when he finds them. They might have been told to attack him if he finds them? And they might be carrying magicked blades?”

Hamish bust out laughing.

“What?” Vera said innocently. “You have to admit, a simple tracking spell alone wouldn’t even be worth the time.”

“They’re probably enjoying this, actually,” Hamish admitted. “But that reminds me, what were you working on with Jack and Gabby?”

“Protection spells.”

“Did one of them backfire?”

“They needed to test them to be sure they worked.” She shrugged. “Clearly there were some weaknesses.”

Hamish laughed again. Vera was starting to realize that the wolves weren’t your average, freshman practitioners. He started to reach for her, only for her to beat him to the punch. She gripped his vest in both hands and tugged him closer.

“This should take them _at_ _least_ a couple hours,” she purred. “We’ve got the house to ourselves.”

Hamish almost gave in, letting her draw him in until his lips hovered over hers, not quite touching, and her green eyes started to fall closed. He almost gave in. And then he pulled back. “I-” _I what?_ , he thought. _I’m afraid_ _you’ll get pregnant?_ That would go over well.

Vera’s eyes opened. “Seriously?”

Hamish still couldn’t think of a way to answer her, so he didn’t. Even worse, he could sense Tundra’s bubbling amusement at the situation. If the hide could laugh, it would be.

When the other wolves returned, bloody and battered and laughing, Vera was just starting to prep for dinner. Normally, Hamish might have joined her. Instead, Randall found him hiding out in his room again.

Randall took one look at him and snorted. “You had sex, didn’t you?”

Hamish groaned. “I couldn’t tell her.”

Randall chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, I don’t know if it’s good news or not but I tried smelling her earlier and didn’t get anything.”

Hamish looked at him oddly. “I thought I saw you sniffing her. What, exactly, where you trying to do?”

“Testing a theory. You mentioned smelling her this morning. Other animals can detect fertility by scent, so I wanted to know if we could too.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t tell though. I don’t know if that meant she’s not or if me and her just don’t mesh that way,” he said, cringing at the thought.

But it had Hamish thinking. “Do you ever notice Gabby?”

Randall hesitated. “Well, no…but I think she’s on the pill.”

Hamish huffed, thinking it over. “Well, if I haven’t noticed it in five months…” he muttered to himself.

_“Five months?”_ Randall coughed. “You’ve been sleeping with her from the start?”

Hamish winced, knowing he’d stepped into that one. “Maybe closer to four and a half.”

Randall huffed. “Damn it. I lost that bet.”


	16. Revelentur Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switching things up for a bit. :)

“I’ve got to say, the best part of you being here is dinner,” Jack Morton said. He was perched on a counter nearby, watching her cook. Other than the risk of him sticking his fingers into everything that passed his way, Vera found she didn’t mind the company.

Vera gave a short, silent laugh. “I imagine that’s true for most of you.” She had quickly learned that the wolves lacked any skill in the kitchen whatsoever. Randall was willing to eat anything and had a cast iron stomach. Lilith hadn’t even been able to point her to the right cabinet when she’d first arrived. Gabrielle was used to private chefs and couldn’t boil water. And Jack had all the talent expected of a boy who’d been raised by a single grandfather.

“Beats cafeteria food for sure,” Jack said, nodding along. “Even growing up, I think we ate like, the same two or three things.”

Vera added a pinch more seasoning to the gravy she had thickening on the stove and let him talk. Most days, he didn’t seem to expect a response.

“I don’t think I would have pegged you for a cook,” he said after a few moments.

“And why is that?” she asked absently.

Jack shrugged. “When do you find the time for it?”

“Just because someone doesn’t have the time for something, doesn’t mean they don’t have the skill,” she told him.

“I guess that’s true.”

Vera looked up and gave him a half-smirk. “I was the Washington Potato Queen. You don’t get there without knowing something about cooking.”

Jack laughed. “Washington Potato Queen? That’s your claim to fame?”

Vera laughed hoarsely. “To get _out_ of Washington, yeah. That was the crowning achievement on top of an already padded resume.”

Jack looked confused.

Vera turned to face him, hands on her hips. “I was a scholarship kid too,” she told him, arching a brow. “Don’t tell me you haven’t figured that out by now.” She knew Jack Morton wasn’t always the brightest bulb but she didn’t think he was that dense either.

His mouth hung open for a long second. “I…guess I can see that…” he said hesitantly.

Vera rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the pots and pans she had going. “You don’t sound like you believe me.”

“No! I just…I know how hard I had to work for it and I’d been aiming for that scholarship to Belgrave since I was eight. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been when you…” he trailed off abruptly.

Vera glanced down. “When I what, Mr. Morton?” She knew what he wanted to say though.

“Nothing.”

Vera sighed. If there was anything she hated more than talking about her daughter, it was the people that knew tiptoeing around it. It’s why she didn’t tell people in the first place. She hated the pity and the sideway glances and the awkwardness that always seemed to follow. “You’re making this more uncomfortable by avoiding it, so let’s just say it. I had a baby.” Vera glanced down, mentally bracing herself. “And yes, it was hard. But I was never set on one school. I kept going, because even if I had to stay local for college, I still wanted out of that town. I still needed to make something of myself…and then it turned out it didn’t matter, after all,” she said with a shrug and a tight, bitter smile. “And save your apologies this time. Please.”

Jack nodded, staring down at the floor. “I know it’s not the same, not exactly, but how do you get over it?” he asked quietly.

Vera’s gaze dropped momentarily before she looked back at him. “You don’t want my advice,” she told him.

“Hamish said the same thing,” he told her.

“We are quite the pair,” Vera laughed weakly. “But he’s probably right…I suppose, if I have to give you something, I’d say don’t bury it. The pain of loss never stays down forever…and neither does the peacefulness of this kitchen,” she added as the front door opened, bringing with it a blend of voices. She waved her spatula at him. “Go on, before they all gather in here.”

After a week, Vera had settled into the dinner routine. She cooked, aiming dinner for six o’clock on the dot. Sometimes Hamish kept her company, sometimes Jack. At a quarter ‘til, the pack would gather and start setting the table. If she was lucky, that only involved near misses and no actual broken plates. Still, she cringed every time she heard something clatter in the other room.

Dinner was a boisterous affair, with Randall cracking jokes every other sentence and Jack, Lilith and Gabrielle all trying to talk over him. Vera typically just watched and wondered how she’d ever ended up here.

What she wasn’t used to, was Randall taking one look at her before busting out laughing.

“You _robbed_ her,” he wheezed, before dissolving into another peel of laughter.

Vera froze instantly. There was only one reason he would find that old news hilarious. She looked to Hamish and found him cringing apologetically.

“Who robbed what?” Gabrielle asked, confused.

Vera shut her eyes. “Just make me something strong,” she muttered to Hamish, before making her way to her seat.

Lilith stuck out her hand with a wicked grin. “Hamish and Vera hooked up the night we robbed the vault. So pay up, suckers.”

Randall finally seemed to have stopped laughing and sighed instead. “I didn’t give our boy enough credit,” he said, shaking his head. And then he started laughing. Again. “But seriously, Hamish. You _fucked-”_

“Randall, we get it,” Hamish said darkly.

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Damn. And you didn’t kill us all?” he asked Vera.

“I was tempted,” Vera growled through gritted teeth. She pinched the bridge of her nose and then looked up with a forced smile. “Since you’re all apparently _so,”_ she laughed the word, “interested, let’s get this over with.”

“Uh, Vera,” Hamish called uncertainly, setting a glass in front of her.

“It’s fine, it’s _fine._ Yes, Hamish and I have been ‘hooking up’,” she said, complete with air quotes, “since the night you robbed the Order. Yes, I wanted to kill him when I realized. No, clearly, I didn’t. Yes, I _kept_ fucking him afterwards. Why?” She shrugged dramatically. “Probably because I don’t have a lot of options, because _I don’t have a life_. It was convenient. Yes, it is more than that now. When? I don’t know exactly. It’s not something I was looking for or expecting to happen. No, I don’t know where this is going. And no, we haven’t talked about it. Is that all?” Vera picked up her glass and chugged half of it.

“Who made the first move?” Randall asked.

Vera dropped her face into her hands.

“He/She did,” they both said at the same time.

Vera looked at Hamish in disbelief. “Me?”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “You did, uh, invite me…” he hedged, glancing at the others.

“After you had an entire conversation _with my boobs,”_ Vera said incredulously. She didn’t make a habit of seducing the students under her care. She’d only considered Hamish because he wasn’t the average freshman acolyte and he had quite obviously been interested in her as well. Or so she’d thought. “Are you saying you _weren’t_ interested?”

“Clearly, I was,” he began. “But, see, we actually made a few attempts at the vault…so I wasn’t staring at your breasts, I was memorizing the pendant you were wearing.”

Vera stared at him, surprised. After a second, she picked up her glass again and took a sip. “Well, how about that,” she muttered.

Randall looked at Lilith. “So who wins that one?”

_Apparently, whoever bet on me_ , Vera thought. She stood up. “Excuse me. I don’t seem to have much of an appetite.” At least, not for the night’s dinner conversation. She took her drink and left. She didn’t need a werewolf’s senses to know Hamish was right behind her.

Vera didn’t stop until she was inside their bedroom. She glanced at Hamish, shook her head and then brought her glass to her lips again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let it slip but all I told Randall was that it’s been almost five months. Lilith apparently guessed it down to the day.”

Vera sighed. “Some demon ability?” That was just what they all needed right then.

“I left my vest in the vault.”

“Well, at least she had the sense not to bring it up back then,” she relented.

“You know you didn’t need to tell them anything,” Hamish said softly.

“I know.” Of course, Vera knew. She also knew not a one of them would let it go. Not when Hamish was one of their own. “I just need a minute.”

“If I shut them all up, will you come back downstairs?”

Vera sighed but nodded. She didn’t want to. She _really_ didn’t want to, but hiding out like a child wasn’t going to be the better option here. Not if she wanted any semblance of respect from these kids.

“Just give me a few minutes,” he said, backing out the door.

Vera nodded again, watching him leave. She leaned against his dresser wearily and let her eyes close for a few moments. If she was going to stay here, she needed to face this thing she had with Hamish head on, and that meant accepting that other people were going to be a part of it. It had been simpler when they’d kept it behind closed doors. That was the kind of relationship she was comfortable with, but that wasn’t the kind of relationship that lasted more than a couple of months and Vera wasn’t sure she was ready to go back to doing everything on her own.

By the time she’d composed herself and made it back downstairs, the table was noticeably quieter. Not every expression was apologetic or humbled, but nobody looked ready to mouth off either.

Hamish elbowed Randall. Hard. Randall cringed, rubbing his arm, and scowled up at Hamish, but then turned to Vera instead. “I’m sorry. I was rude.” Hamish elbowed him again. “And I shouldn’t have started that bet in the first place,” he added hastily.

Vera gave a small nod in acceptance and the table soon fell back into an uncomfortable silence.

It was Jack who offered the ice breaker. “So, do you have any more lessons planned like today’s?”

Lilith grinned. “It was kind of fun getting to stab Randall,” she admitted.

Randall shook his head, giving Vera a pitiful look. “Yeah, that was _not_ cool. I thought Lilith had gone all Exorcist on me.”

Vera shrugged. “Always be prepared.”

“For the worst,” Jack finished, smiling.

Vera arched a brow, giving him a nod. “Exactly.”

“But did you have to let them use those knives?” Randall whined.

“I didn’t spend the last week beating various healing spells into your head for nothing.”

And just like that, things had relaxed again as the Knights relived the day’s training exercises, arguing over who’d had the best strategies or the best attack and throwing out their own ideas for future lessons. Hamish looked over at her and smiled, reaching over to take her hand beneath the table.

“See, today turned out okay,” Hamish said as they began unwinding from the day. He was lounging on the bed, one of the journals forgotten in his hand as he watched her.

Vera shrugged as she removed her earrings, placing them in a dish on his dresser. “I would have preferred to avoid becoming the laughingstock of the room,” she pouted, though the truth was, now that it was all done with, she’d already forgiven _most_ of the people involved.

“Honestly, I think they were laughing more at me than you.”

Vera arched a brow at him. “Is that so?” she said doubtfully.

“I think Randall even accidently defended you when Lilith first mentioned it,” Hamish told her.

“I hope he’s not expecting a thank you for that,” Vera said lightly, coming to his side of the bed. She slowly leaned over him, bringing her lips down to meet his. The book slid off his stomach, onto the bed beside him. She started to deepen the kiss, climbing halfway onto the bed with him, only for him to start to pull back. For the second time that day. Vera sat up, annoyed. “What am I doing wrong here?”

“Nothing,” Hamish said.

_“Nothing_ is making you pull away from me _twice_ today?”

“I just-” he cut himself off.

Vera huffed and got up. She was over whatever Hamish was struggling with today. “Fine. I’ll leave you alone.”

Hamish reached for her hand but Vera stepped just out of reach. “It’s not you. And of course, I want you.” Vera arched a brow skeptically. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“But nothing you want to talk about,” she said, crossing her arms.

Hamish hesitated. “…not right now.”

“Well, I’m here if you change your mind,” she said.

Vera grabbed her pajamas – silk, the ones that Hamish always seemed to brush his fingers across, the ones she usually ended up trading for one of his t-shirts before actually falling asleep – and retreated to the bathroom to shower and change. This time there was no knock at the door. The shower curtain never drew back, revealing a naked and apologetic Hamish Duke. It was times like these that she missed her own home, and her own shower, and the privacy it afforded them.

By the time she returned to the room, scrubbed clean with her hair still damp, Hamish was sitting up on the edge of the bed. Vera didn’t acknowledge him and continued towel drying her hair.

“Are you on the pill?” Hamish asked abruptly, catching her off guard.

Vera turned to face him. “Am I-, what? Why?”

“I’m just thinking,” he said softly, shrugging.

Vera arched a brow. “Do I want to know?” she asked herself. “But no, I’m not. I struggle with remembering to eat some days. Do you really think I can remember to take a pill at the same time every day?”

“But…aren’t there other options?” he asked hesitantly.

Vera set her towel over the railing of the bed and crossed her arms as she studied him. “Did a condom break or something you’re not telling me?” Was that why he was suddenly freaking out about touching her? It was true, they’d never talked about birth control, but they had _always_ used protection and that had always seemed like enough for him in the past.

Hamish’s eyes went wide. “No! No. Nothing like that.”

“Then why are you suddenly concerned about my birth control?”

“I’m not! I’m not worried,” he said, something ringing false in his words. “I just…Randall said something-”

_“Randall?_ Why would you be discussing _my birth control_ with _Randall?”_

“We weren’t!” Hamish said, too quickly.

Vera threw her hands up, totally lost. “Then what were you talking about that’s got you worried about me now?” A possibility popped into her head a moment later and she gave him an exasperated look. “Good god, tell me Gabrielle Dupres is not pregnant. Is that why she’s been holding back during lessons?”

“No!” Hamish said quickly, shaking his head. “It was…they had a scare,” he blurted out.

Vera let out a breath. “Well, that’s a relief, I suppose. The last thing anyone here needs is a baby right now.” Vera knew first hand how difficult that life was, juggling school and an infant. Add in the recent building tension with the Order, and Vera was fairly certain she would have strangled the both of them for doing something so foolish.

Hamish shrugged, looking curiously meek. “I got to thinking, we never discussed it…or what we’d do.”

Vera arched a brow. “What we’d do? Like if _I_ were to get pregnant? Well, I don’t plan on that happening,” she began. _That_ was the one thing she wouldn’t even let herself think about. Not after her daughter.

“It could, though,” he said quietly.

Vera pinched her fingers together. “Small chance, and it hasn’t happened in twenty-one years.” Vera huffed. “Do you have a problem with that? Because if so, I suppose we could check into a more permanent solution.” A small, wicked smile tugged at her lips. “I wonder if we could find a vet who sees werewolves?”

Hamish choked on a surprised laugh. “No! It’s fine. The boys are happy where they are.”

Vera shrugged, still amused. “I don’t think they actually take them out,” she said innocently. From the look Hamish was giving her, she didn’t think that mattered.


	17. Mala Revelentur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for all the reviews so far! I know I suck at responding to them individually but you have no idea how much I appreciate the feedback. Definitely helps keep me motivated.
> 
> And sorry, bit of a shorter chapter, just to set up the next one, and with a total lack of Vermish but I'll make up for it later. Just don't scream. haha.

All Tundra needed was one day. Just one, subtle and perfectly timed, and then it would be a matter of luck and biology. With his Champion finally on board, Tundra had gone quiet, content to wait until it was time to act. He’d unknowingly set the framework years ago, back when they’d been alone and it had been his judgement that kept them alive. His Champion had learned to trust, almost to a fault. After all, why would a human question a wolf on something as basal as instinct?

All Tundra needed was two days, and if the first one happened to be the _wrong_ day? Well, his Champion should have been paying attention.

Tundra had been quiet, which only seemed to confirm Randall’s guess that it had been that one particular day that mattered. Still, Hamish knew it wasn’t over. He made a point of tracking the subtle, fluctuating changes in Vera’s scent, not that he had a clue what any of it meant, but Tundra’s complete lack of interest was reassuring, all the same, and it meant that, for a time, Hamish could return his focus to more pressing matters.

While a couple of the other pack members had seen the tomb that Jack had spent nearly a week working on, Hamish hadn’t. He’d told himself it was to protect Jack’s privacy. Jack was grieving and wanted space and Hamish wasn’t going to encroach on that. But the truth was, it hit just a little too close to home, bringing up old memories from the days and weeks and months after Cassie had been killed and he himself had struggled to process, struggled to grieve, struggled to move on. Hamish didn’t want to admit that, had he had the ability back then, he might have done the same thing.

Only he probably wouldn’t have. _Tomb_ might have been the wrong word for what he was currently looking at. Shrine seemed more appropriate, between the flower beds and the pictures and dozens of other knickknacks that meant nothing to Hamish but must have meant something to the couple. This was a place meant to keep Alyssa alive, despite the fact that her body was resting somewhere inside.

“What are you doing here?” Jack snarled.

Hamish stared at the tomb a moment longer before shaking his head. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Jack began stalking back in the direction of the Den, giving Hamish no choice but to follow. “And you couldn’t wait for me to get back to the Den?”

“It’s something I wanted to talk to you about first.” Jack grunted a response, so Hamish continued. “Did she tell you anything about Alpha?”

Jack stopped abruptly, suddenly curious. “Alpha?”

“I think it’s time we got him out of Praxis’s hands.”

A smile started to tug at Jack’s mouth before it faltered as he glanced down. “All Alyssa told me is that it’s somewhere safe and waiting for a new Champion.”

“If they’re wanting Alpha to choose someone, it’s got to be at some sort of headquarters or a place they meet regularly,” Hamish thought out loud.

“What if Alpha’s already chosen someone?”

Hamish hesitated. “I don’t think Alpha’s that easy to bond with,” he said slowly. “I’ve been reading through the journals. Most of the descriptions of the hides fit what we’ve already learned. Tundra is cunning, Silverback is powerful, Greybeard is brave, Timber is independent and Midnight values others before himself.”

“And Alpha?”

“Alpha is all of those things.”

Jack arched a brow. “But it picked Salvadore? That doesn’t sound choosy.”

Hamish shrugged. “She may not have been on our side, but think about it. That description fits her. She grew Praxis up right under the Order’s nose and then waited for the right moment to strike. She nearly succeeded in turning the Order and the Sons of Prometheus against each other. She fooled us into thinking Foley was their leader, then had him sacrifice himself when she didn’t need him anymore. She was one hell of a leader. If she wasn’t, we would have found out and then taken out Praxis a lot sooner.”

“You sound impressed,” Jack laughed.

“You can be impressed by your enemy. Good strategy is good strategy, no matter what side its on.”

“I guess,” Jack said, shaking his head. “So where do we start?”

Hamish sighed heavily. “I was hoping you might have been given some clue.”

Jack echoed his sigh, shaking his head. “Nope. I asked but I got nothing. Could we track it? Inveniatur Alpha?”

“Not unless you’ve got something belonging to it that I don’t know about.”

“What about a journal?”

“Eh,” Hamish hedged. “That might take us to the Champion, not the hide.”

“Worth a try though.”

“I’ll run it by Vera,” Hamish said. He didn’t want to do anything without letting her in on it. Not this time. And if the incantation did work, who knew where it would take them, or into what. This would be a full pack search, and he needed to know they could keep Vera safe.

Jack was quiet for a minute. “Do you think Alpha will pick her?” he asked, catching on more quickly than Hamish had expected.

Hamish glanced away. “Can you think of a better option?” He wasn’t going to mention _why_ he was so eager to find Alpha. He wasn’t going to mention the Fors Factorum, or that Vera was slowly dying because of it. That was Vera’s business, if she wanted to tell it. He needed to keep this strictly about what was best for the pack.

But Jack shook his head anyways. “I really can’t,” he agreed.

Hamish looked at Jack. “Can we not tell her? Not until we have Alpha. Not until we’re sure.” He doesn’t know how Vera would react to the idea of truly becoming one of them, of officially taking up the mantle of the Knights’ leader, but more than that, he doesn’t want to get her hopes up. Alpha might be able to fix everything. The hide could save her life, Hamish was sure of it. Maybe it could even fix her magic.

As they neared the Den, Hamish felt Tundra begin to grumble. He glanced at Jack and found a similar unease written across his face. Their eyes met and then together, they bolted for the house.

A strange woman’s scent filled Hamish’s nose and a moment later, Jack gasped out, “Oh, fuck.”

They rounded the side of the house, only to spot a strange car parked in the drive. Hamish’s gaze went straight for Vera and, finding her safe, finally scanned the rest of the pack. They were clumped together, Vera standing a half-step ahead of the others who had spaced themselves evenly at her back. None of them looked relaxed, but Vera was the only one holding herself as if she was more pissed off than anxious.

A sleek, dark haired woman was standing just to the side of the car, holding an umbrella, despite the cloudless day. She was the first to notice Hamish and Jack’s arrival, gesturing towards them smoothly. “And here they are,” the woman said. “Ask them yourselves.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jack snarled.

The woman arched a brow. “I’m here to help.”

“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”

“You are not the only one to make that mistake, I’m afraid,” Vera said, never taking her eyes off the woman.

“Vera, please,” the woman crooned. “I told you, I’m only here to offer my services. Your…pets, have something they want. I can help.”

“And why would you want to help us? Why should we trust you?”

“Because a little birdy told me that you’re one of us now. The outcasts. The ones who wouldn’t fit into the Order’s little box of right and wrong.” Her face darkened. “And my sister is dead because of the Order.”


	18. Inventiatur Alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek, so I sort of wrote myself into a corner with that last one. Lol. Had this vague notion of where I wanted this to go, set it up, then went uuuuuhhhhhh…..oops. So this ended up being a bit more of a rush job than usual, but I wanted to get y'all something and move on. lol. Kind of ended up being a weird back and forth for me to, but hey, I go with what the characters ask of me.

It had been ages since that night, when Rachel Marand sat beside her sister, naively pledging herself to an Order that would never care about or understand them. Vera Stone had been their third, so driven and yet still so innocent. Truly, it had been sickening. Together, they took the pledge, forging an unspoken rivalry that would end in exile for her and her sister, while Vera, the Order’s perfect princess, would go on to rise through the ranks more quickly than the devil, Edward Coventry, himself.

And so when Rachel first began hearing the rumors, that Vera Stone was giving it all up and walking away, it sounded like utter bullshit. And yet, surprisingly, it had turned out to be true and that had Rachel Marand intrigued.

The house, if one could call it that, had to be a major step down for the great overachiever Vera Stone - Grand Magus, Temple Magus and Chancellor. That alone was worth the trip.

Vera was outside, three of her…pets within view. As Rachel pulled into the driveway, the werewolves instantly began closing in around Vera, like overgrown guard dogs. Rachel could see them whispering, all eyes locked on her as she exited the car.

“Vera,” Rachel greeted. “It’s been some time.”

Vera plastered on a false smile. “It has,” she agreed, her tone overly friendly. “So what brings you out of your hole now?”

“I’m here to offer my services.”

“Well, we don’t need them,” Vera said, making a shooing motion. “Why don’t you just go on then and we’ll pretend this never happened?”

Rachel looked them over. “There should be two more. Where are they?”

“You don’t know?”

“I’ve learned not to trust the future, where werewolves are concerned.”

“Then you were either brave or stupid to come here,” Vera said.

Rachel met her gaze briefly. “I’m safe. I may not be able to read their futures but I can read yours.” Vera would restrain the wolves, as long as she didn’t overstep. Still, she gave a short laugh. Vera’s future since meeting the wolves had taken a surprising turn and Rachel was eager to see the boy responsible. She glanced around, her gaze lingering on the house, the forest, the cars parked to the side. “They’ll be the two looking for me,” she said, getting the conversation back on track.

“Ha-” the boy with the dark curls tried to speak up, only for Vera cut him off with a flick of her wrist.

“Why would they think of you?” Vera asked.

“They haven’t. Yet,” Rachel admitted. She hadn’t been keeping a close eye on the situation for nothing, however. “But they would have.” She tilted a hand towards the pair rapidly approaching. Jack Morton, the wayward son of Edward Coventry, and Hamish Duke, the one man who’d gotten under Vera Stone’s skin. “And here they are. Ask them yourselves.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jack Morton growled.

Rachel only lifted one eyebrow. “I’m here to help,” she said innocently.

“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”

“You are not the only one to make that mistake, I’m afraid,” Vera said, glaring at her.

“Vera, please. I told you, I’m only here to offer my services. Your…pets, have something they want. I can help.”

“And why would you want to help us? Why should we trust you?” “Because a little birdy told me that you’re one of us now. The outcasts. The ones who wouldn’t fit into the Order’s little box of right and wrong. And my sister is dead because of the Order.”

“Edward Coventry is dead,” Vera pointed out.

“I’ve heard. I’ve also heard that _you_ were the _only_ member to stand against him.” Yet another surprise from the perfect princess, but then Vera had never been drawn in by his charm like so many others…like her sister. “The rest of the Order is every bit as responsible for his crimes as he was.”

“We’re not looking to start a war, if that’s what you’re hoping for,” Vera told her.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “You always did prefer the diplomatic approach over taking lives,” she acknowledged. “Still, you are in a position to make life difficult for the Order. What with your pets and all. Now please, can we take this matter inside? You know I burn easily.”

Vera glared at her, her arms crossing. Finally, she said, “We need to talk this over. You wait here.”

Rachel sighed. So predictable. “Don’t take too long,” she called after them, already knowing they wouldn’t.

“Would somebody tell me what Rachel Marand is doing here and _why_ she seems to think you might _want_ her here?” Vera hissed.

“Rachel?” Jack asked stupidly.

“Yes. Rachel Marand, twin sister of Renee Marand. Surely you remember her.”

Jack shrugged self-consciously. “She never told us her name when she was trying to _kill_ us last year.”

“Exactly. And now she’s here with the impression that you would want to see her, despite how you parted ways. _Why?”_

“That might be me, actually,” Hamish spoke up.

Vera spun on him. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Hamish said calmly. “I’ve just been considering something lately and I brought it up with Jack today. The timing is curious.”

“Explain.”

“I think we should be hunting for Alpha’s hide.”

Vera eyed him wearily. “Because we don’t have enough to deal with right now? And how would this involve the Necromancer?”

“Yes, now. Alpha is meant to be one of us. Leaving him under Praxis’s control means risking having another werewolf running around out there. One not under our control, doing who knows what that we could be blamed for.”

“I suppose we should discuss that further,” Vera relented. “But Rachel Marand?”

“She did say they hadn’t thought of her yet,” Gabrielle offered up.

Hamish shrugged. “The only people who knew where Alpha’s trunk is are dead.”

Vera sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. “You don’t have any other leads?”

“Jack suggested a tracking spell, using a journal. I don’t know if it would work.”

Vera opened one eye and looked at him, then nodded. “You two, go try it,” she said, straightening again. She turned to Lilith next. “Call Miss Birch and ask her not to stay away for the next day or so. We don’t need the Order catching wind of this,” she grumbled. “Miss Dupres, Mr. Carpio, with me.”

Rachel was watching the door with a bored expression when Vera finally returned, flanked by two of her werewolves.

“The spell won’t work,” Rachel told her flatly.

“Forgive me for not taking you at your word.”

“So touchy,” Rachel tsked.

“Let’s say you’re right. What do you want in exchange?”

“I told you-”

“Price, Rachel. I don’t want you coming back asking for favors.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “You know what I want. I want my Necrophone returned.”

“We don’t have it.”

Rachel looked at her, unimpressed. “You know where it is, though.”

Vera scoffed. “You want us to rob Praxis for you?”

“What’s one more time?”

“Why don’t you go get it yourself?”

Because Rachel didn’t see herself surviving such an attempt, not that she was going to tell Vera that. A pack of werewolves, well, they’d already done it several times and this wouldn’t be a full-scale raid.

The door opened again before she had to answer and the other three all emerged. The younger two were eyeing Rachel warily but Vera’s tall, handsome young man had eyes only for her.

He shook his head, his expression grave. “It started spinning but then it wouldn’t stop.”

Vera sighed, leaning closer to him. “We can still find it on our own. It’ll just take time,” she whispered.

“You’re going to say yes, Vera. Can we please hurry this along?” Rachel interjected. She had seen that Vera would control the werewolves, for a time at least, but the sooner they could be through with this, the better. She didn’t like being in a situation where there were so many players who could change the final outcome at will.

Vera held her gaze, trying to read her, but Vera was no Necromancer and all she’d ever be able to do was decide whether or not to trust. Finally, Vera crossed her arms and unconsciously took a step closer to her lover, until his hand connected with her lower back and she stilled. Rachel was far more amused than she would ever let on. Perhaps if she’d seen the twist in Vera’s future, she and her sister wouldn’t have felt nearly so jealous of the golden girl townie.

“You get the Necrophone _after_ we recover what we’re after.”

“Before,” Rachel countered smoothly. “I already have its location. I would need a sacrifice to divine this object you seek. Unless, of course, you simply wanted to use the Necrophone once it’s been retrieved?”

Vera caught on quickly. “Fine, but we don’t hand it over until the whole heist is complete.”

Rachel inclined her head. “That’s acceptable.”

“I don’t like this,” Vera said. She was in the passenger seat of a borrowed school van as they followed Rachel Marand up the interstate. She’d sent Jack, Lilith and Randall along with her, under orders to not hesitate if something felt off.

“I know, but I think this is our best option,” Hamish said, glancing over at her. “And she must be desperate too. She can’t read us. She’s flying blind, maybe more than we are. She ran from Jack when she realized what he was. Do you really think she’d try to pull something when there’s five of us?”

“Rachel and Renee Marand nearly wiped out half the Order about thirteen years ago. There’s no telling what she might do.”

“You don’t think it’s a trap, do you?” Gabrielle asked, leaning forward from the back seat. “Could she be working with Praxis?”

“That, at least, we assume isn’t likely. The twins never worked well with others. They didn’t have allies, they had potential sacrifices. They wouldn’t keep her around long and I don’t see why she’d be wanting to use them.”

“Technically, the Knights are the ones that killed her sister,” Hamish pointed out. “We killed those people. The spell had worked up until then. She could be wanting revenge.”

“She would still blame the Order,” Vera said, partly to herself.

“Then why doesn’t she have us going after the Order? All she wants is that phone thing?” Gabrielle asked.

“The Necrophone. It allows one to speak with the dead. It belonged to her sister. Renee offered it to Edward, in exchange for the Order performing the Elemental Transference.”

“That’s all this is, isn’t it?” Hamish realized. “She wants to be able to talk to her sister again.”

“They were identical twins, and inseparable. And it has been a year,” Vera conceded. That had been her thoughts as well.

“That’s kind of sad,” Gabrielle said.

“Don’t let yourself feel too much pity, Ms. Dupres. She’s still committed horrific acts. And we may be wrong about her reasoning in the first place. She could still turn on us all.”

Rachel had quickly figured out why Vera had assigned at least one of the werewolves to her car. The boy would _not_ shut up. By the time they pulled onto a side road, two streets down from the abandoned office building, she was ready to shove him out of the car. By Vera’s amused expression, it was what she’d been hoping for.

“My Necrophone is on the second floor,” she said abruptly, ready to be as far away as possible. “I imagine you remember what it looked like?”

“Wait, you aren’t coming with us?” Jack Morton asked.

“If I could retrieve it myself, I wouldn’t have come to you now, would I?”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen you kill and resurrect a man without being anywhere near him,” Jack said.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Animate, not resurrect,” she corrected. “And if that worked on practitioners as well as non-magic users, don’t you think I would have used it on you?”

He went quiet.

“So what’s the plan?” the colorful, faux demon asked.

“Okay, necromancy is kind of cool,” Lilith said fifteen minutes later when she exited the building.

“I’m assuming you mean _without_ the high death count it requires?” Vera grumbled.

“Well, we do call her Kill-ith, so probably not,” Jack said, following on her heels, alongside Randall.

“I won’t be teaching that,” Vera stated flatly.

Rachel Marand brought up the rear of the procession, cradling a box in her arms as if it were her own baby. Vera stepped in front of her.

“I believe we had a deal?”

Rachel set the box down on the hood of the car, caressing the metal tubing. “Allow me,” she relented and began pulling pieces out of the box and twisting them into place.

“Who should we ask?” Jack asked. Vera could see the hope in his eyes, even if he had masked it in his voice.

Vera gave a small nod. “We’ll give you a moment.”

“Shouldn’t we be asking Salvadore?” Hamish asked, as the rest of the pack turned to follow her, leaving Jack and Rachel Marand with the Necrophone.

That was probably true but then, Vera had always had a soft spot for Jack Morton and it wasn’t like they only had the one chance. The agreement had been they would hand over the Necrophone once they were satisfied, whether that meant they had Alpha or they knew they wouldn’t find it by using the Necrophone.

It wouldn’t be a problem though. Only a minute later, Jack turned towards them. “Hey, guys! It’s here!”

Hamish glanced at her, grinning excitedly, and jogged ahead with the others to catch up. Vera followed along more slowly. If the Necrophone was still active, she wasn’t certain she wanted to hear whatever truths Alyssa Drake decided to tell. But Jack had already let her fade away and was anxiously awaiting the next orders, along with the rest of the pack.

Vera simply nodded. “Go on, then. Before reinforcements arrive.” She wasn’t sure what reinforcements, if any, would arrive. Praxis had been quiet in the months since Alyssa Drake had died, but there was no point in lingering. The Knights leapt forward without further prompting, clothing drifting to the ground behind them. Vera watched the scraps of Hamish’s jacket float down towards the ground in the wake of the silver werewolf. She had liked that jacket. He’d worn it the first time she’d invited him back to her house.

“Well,” Rachel interrupted her thoughts. “If that’s all, I’d like to be on my way.”

_“After_ they return,” Vera said coldly.

Rachel sighed. “Oh, fine.” Still, she gently took apart and repackaged the pieces of the phone.

It took far longer for the doors to open than it had the first time, leaving Vera anxious and on edge, but finally, the doors did open. She immediately sought out Hamish. He was near the back of the pack, but his height made him easy to pick out. He looked relieved and that was all she needed to know. She started walking towards him.

“Any trouble?” she asked.

“Only that there were a lot of rooms to search,” Hamish said, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back.

Vera glanced over at the old trunk that Jack and Randall were carrying. “And Alpha?”

“Is happy to be back. We can all feel it, like there was a piece missing that we didn’t even know was gone until it was back.”

Vera gave a small huffing laugh. “And I expect next you’ll be wanting to search out someone to wear the hide.”

Hamish’s hand moved across her lower back, rubbing small circles there. Vera stopped walking. Hamish grinned sheepishly at her. “Actually, we all agreed. Once we get home, we’re taking you down to the locker first.”

“Absolutely not,” she automatically protested.

“Why not?”

Vera’s mouth opened but all her excuses fell short. She wasn’t the Grand Magus anymore. She wasn’t even a member of the Order anymore. It wasn’t easy to just erase twenty years of one’s life though.

“Just do it, Mama V,” Randall called, passing them up.

Vera turned to glare at him, but even for him, she couldn’t find a worthwhile excuse. They would just keep pestering her until she relented.

Rachel snorted. “Let me be the first to congratulate you on this new family you’re building. It’s certainly different from what we originally saw for you.”

Vera turned to her instead. “You can leave now.”

“Oh, I will. Although you might like to know, the Order will be paying you a visit later in the week. I hope you have your terms for negotiations prepared.”

“We do.”

“Then I’ll be seeing you.”

“Hopefully not in this lifetime,” Vera told her.

The drive home was a raucous event, making her wish she’d had them drive an extra car. Still, she couldn’t blame them. A new hide for the Knights was like new initiates for the Order, only the Knights had never been as reserved or refined as the usual Order parties.

When they arrived back at the Den, the trunk was immediately hoisted onto shoulders and carried down to the hide locker. Whoops and cheers echoing along the way. Hamish stayed behind, watching her expectantly.

“Make me a drink and then we’ll go down,” she relented.

Hamish swooped in and pressed a kiss to the side of her mouth before dashing off towards the bar. Vera rolled her eyes and followed at a more reasonable pace, coming to lean against the bar to watch him work. He moved smoothly, as always, but his actions were quicker this time, as he juggled a number of bottles and glasses.

“Something celebratory,” he responded cheerfully when she arched a brow. He extended the glass to her a moment later and she swirled it around before taking a sip.

“Sometimes it’s disappointing that you’re no longer drinking,” she told him. “You don’t even get to taste your own creations.”

Hamish grinned at her. “Sure, I do.” He leaned in and kissed her, his tongue sweeping across her lower lip. “Delicious.”

Vera gave a small laugh, pulling him back in for another kiss before releasing him. “Let’s go get this over with.”

The Knight’s scattered at the tilt of Hamish’s head, leaving the two of them alone to go into the hide locker. Hamish was still practically walking on air, but Vera approached more slowly. The others had taken the hide out to admire and had it draped across the top of its trunk. Alpha was a pure, snow white, like a mink coat. She could see the gentle rise and fall of its breath but otherwise, Alpha never moved.

Beside her, Hamish stared blankly, all his previous good humor evaporated. He stepped forward, shaking his head. “No. It-, it was supposed to work. He was supposed to pick you.”

But he hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a breath! It ain't over! You didn't really think I would make this easy, did you?


	19. Dang it, I ran out of spells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but a bit of a followup to last night's chapter before we get back to Order vs Knights negotiations and then Tundra's scheming. :) 
> 
> lol. But I had to have Alpha reject Vera. Could you imagine Alpha's reaction if she realized what Tundra was trying to do with her poor Champion?

Hamish had gone from being on cloud nine to feeling like the ground had fallen out from under his feet. He’d done the research. He’d been so sure that this was their answer. And yet Alpha hadn’t even twitched.

“No. It-, it was supposed to work. He was supposed to pick you.”

Vera raised her glass to her lips and took another swallow. “It’s not a big deal, Hamish. You’ll find someone else.”

Hamish didn’t want to accept that it was over. He started pacing, wracking his brain for _why._ Vera was perfect. It should have been perfect. “I must have missed something.”

“Hamish,” Vera called softly.

“It was all right there,” he continued anyways. “Alpha is our leader. You’re the only other person the wolves have ever followed. Alpha is cunning and you are so fucking brilliant, even Tundra’s been curious about you from the first time we met. Alpha is brave, and you, you don’t let anyone or anything stop you. Alpha is powerful and you are _the_ strongest person I know. You can hold your own with the Knights already, without a hide. Alpha is independent. You’ve never followed the herd, even when it meant you were fighting through on your own. Alpha’s supposed to put his own wellbeing behind others. You’ve always done that. You’ve protected us, even when it cost you everything. When Rogwan came through and everyone ran, you stayed. I don’t know what else Alpha could want from you!”

Hamish had to stop and gasp for breath by the time he finished. He looked up at Vera, her cheeks flushed pink and her mouth slightly open. Hamish felt his own face heat as he realized everything he’d just told her. Vera knew he cared. He’d told her, once, that it was okay to let someone care about her, and he tried to show her in as many little ways as he could. But he’d never just laid out so many of the characteristics that he found so endearing, so amazing about Vera Stone. And he had a feeling she wasn’t used to being complimented like that.

Vera glanced away from him. “You’re forgetting something,” she said quietly.

He stepped forward, gently grasping her arms. “What?” he asked. He’d gone over it so many times, reread the pages, worked through it in his mind. What had he missed? What was so big, Vera could see it but he couldn’t?

“Two things,” she correctly softly. “I’m not powerful, not anymore. Maybe never again.”

“Your magic? You think that’s all it is?” he asked, hope spreading through him again. That was fixable. It had to be. And it was something they were already working on. He could find the answer, somewhere. He had to.

Vera shrugged. “The Knights are powerful practitioners. I am not.” But then he felt her take in a deep breath. “But I don’t think it would matter…I’m dying. I have been for a long time. The Fors Factorum doesn’t have a counter spell, Hamish. I would be a waste of a Knight.”

Hamish swallowed thickly. He hadn’t planned to tell her. He hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up, to give her a cure only to have it yanked away. But he still believed Alpha was meant to choose her and if her magic was all that was standing in the way…

“There is, actually.”

Vera looked up, arching a brow skeptically. “You just happened to find something the Order’s been searching for for centuries?”

“The Order knew, once. They just forgot.”

“That seems like a rather stupid thing of them to do. And if there _were_ a cure, which I’m not saying I believe there is, why wouldn’t it have been paired with the incantation?”

“Because it’s not another incantation. It’s the hides. The hide balances the cost of the spell.”

Vera’s lips parted, her green eyes widening. She didn’t seem to know what to say.

“I mean, the journals didn’t spell it out or anything, but that’s what it seems to mean. There were a couple entries in one of the journals, from when the Order first took the spell from the Knights of the Blue Rose and decided to allow the whole Order access.” When Vera didn’t say anything, Hamish gave her arms a gentle squeeze. “We need to get your magic back, Vera.”

Vera pulled away from him, bringing her glass to her lips. She started to turn away. “I don’t-”

“I’m not giving up, Vera. Once we get your magic back, Alpha can fix everything. You’ll see.”

Vera turned on him. Her eyes were pleading with him to understand. “Just stop, alright? I accepted my fate a _long_ time ago. I was fine with it until-…you didn’t need to go looking for a way to fix me.”

“I don’t see the problem with wanting you to _live,”_ Hamish told her.

Vera looked at him sadly, then ducked her head. “You were never meant to get attached,” she whispered.

Attached. Like she was a lost dog he’d brought home until he found its real family. Something that was never meant to stay, or even be remembered. But Vera was already so much more than that. For months now, she’d been the reason he looked forward to each day. Just seeing her made him smile, made the weight in his heart ease a little bit. Seeing _her_ smile lifted his spirits more than any cocktail ever had. It was always such a tiny motion, like she didn’t want anyone to notice that she actually was capable of feeling amused, so each time she smiled for him, it felt special somehow, a secret just between them. She was the reason he’d been able to remain sober now and he struggled to picture a world where she wasn’t there.

Vera turned away again. “I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourself,” she said, her gaze dropping to the floor, and then she left.

As Hamish watched her walk away, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that made the idea of life so difficult. Was it that she simply didn’t want to get her hopes up, only to be let down? Or was it more than that? He suspected the answer would be mixed with the reason she’d performed the incantation in the first place, when most chose to walk away. He suspected Vera’s past had damaged her so badly that the idea of a full life, of a family and someone to come home to every night, of being able to be happy again, scared her more than dying young.

Hamish wasn’t going to just give up though. Maybe he was being selfish for wanting to keep her alive because _he_ didn’t want to let her go, but he was fine with being selfish in that respect.


	20. Negotiations

Vera blamed herself for the whole mess. On that first night in the Temple, all she’d been wanting was a quick, fun, easy release from all the tension lately and Hamish Duke had been present and, she’d assumed, interested. And it _had_ been fun, and convenient, and she’d thought they were on the same page. Especially after he’d turned around and _robbed_ her. That wasn’t something that spoke of the desire for any sort of relationship, and Vera had been content with that.

And then one month turned into two and Vera realized that she enjoyed simply having him around and he seemed to reciprocate. Maybe that should have been her signal to call it quits and walk away, but Praxis had been at their doorstep and she found herself relying on Hamish, both personally and professionally, and she’d let it happen. Hamish wasn’t like all the others. He’d had seen death. He lived his life with the same morbid acceptance of his own fate that she herself felt. She’d thought that meant he could handle _her_ inevitable death as well. Only it turned out, he wouldn’t.

Vera caught Hamish watching her all the time now. She pretended she didn’t notice, though it was hard when he wasn’t even trying to be discreet. But she knew if she called him on it, it would just lead to them arguing for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t even that she _wasn’t_ going to try to get her magic back - _of course,_ she wanted her magic back - it was that she wasn’t willing to spend every waking moment fighting to find a way. Except she’d already tried that and come up empty every time. At some point, she had to move on and focus her attention on other matters. She wasn’t prepared to stall everything again on the off-chance a glorified fur coat would decide it wanted her and there were plenty of things that needed her attention more urgently.

It had taken until Saturday but Rachel Marand had been right. The Order had finally come knocking. Or rather, calling. It seemed even they were smart enough not to arrive unannounced, but they were apparently prepared to begin talk of negotiations. Vera had, admittedly, made them work for even that much and had successfully scheduled them to meet on a date still a full week away. Their willingness to go along with it, despite the obvious frustrations, told Vera all she had wanted to know. The Knights were holding all the cards. The Order had not a thing to barter with and they knew it. They were at the Knight’s mercy and Vera intended to make sure it stayed that way.

“The new Grand Magus has just arrived,” Lilith read aloud from her phone that morning.

“Finally,” Jack said.

“They’ve certainly kept it quiet,” Hamish commented. It was something they’d discussed frequently. The new Grand Magus would set the tone for the Order’s future, and the Knights. But the Order had apparently been just as aware of Nicole Birch’s position as a double agent and had kept the name locked down tight.

Vera just arched a brow at the girl. “And?”

Lilith shrugged. “I’m waiting for a name. All she’s said is it’s a man.”

“Well, that narrows it down,” Vera muttered.

“I can’t just make the texts appear,” Lilith grumbled back.

“They could wait to introduce him until they meet with us,” Hamish suggested.

“It’s probably what I would do,” Vera admitted. “I am hoping he’s not somebody who thinks that way, though.”

“Why?” Randall asked.

Vera gave him a tired look. “Because that means he’s somebody who plans a few steps ahead, and that person is less likely to make direct moves. Which means that, regardless of how today turns out, we can’t trust that it’s over. And I’m presuming you would like to get back to class at some point?” Vera was certainly ready to get them out of the house. _She_ was ready to get out of the house and go home.

“He’s not,” Lilith jumped back in. “His name is Mark Russell.”

“I know the name. It could be worse. He trained under the D.C. Chapter, but he’s been out in Colorado for maybe a decade or more by now. The D.C. Chapter is heavy into politics, so he’ll know how to play the game, but because he’s not local anymore, we can hope that means he won’t be a hoverer. He’ll leave Order-Knight relations to whoever is chosen as Temple Magus,” she explained. And _that_ would be the real question now. One that wouldn’t be answered until negotiations were done and lines had been drawn. It would be diplomacy or war, little continued give and takes, or a future of ongoing skirmishes.

By the time the line of cars pulled into the drive, Vera was as ready as she could be. The Knights were stationed where they would be visible, but not intentionally threatening. She’d tested their capabilities and knew any one of them could reach her in a matter of seconds, if the need arose. Only Hamish stood beside her, as the official leader of the Knights of St. Christopher.

When the doors began opening, Vera was surprised to see a number of familiar faces. Matti Johnston had apparently either stuck around or returned in time for the negotiations and a number of distant Temple Maguses had made the trip. That fact alone unsettled Vera more than she let on. Each of the Temples had always run independent of each other, with their own collection of artifacts that they were incredibly possessive about. That they had shown such an interest could either mean they were simply curious, or it could mean negotiations were going to be trickier than she’d expected.

“Miss Stone,” a grey haired man greeted, stepping forward from the pack. Mark Russell was an older Grand Magus than the Order had selected in some time. She hoped it was a case of age equals wisdom, as in, wisdom to know when to bow out.

“Vera, please.” While she disliked being so familiar, she equally disliked being reduced to nothing but a generic honorific.

“Then call me Mark.” He looked to Hamish with polite curiosity, despite the fact Vera knew he would have already been briefed on each of the Knights.

“This is Hamish Duke, the leader of the Knights of St. Christopher,” Vera introduced him.

“Oh? I was under the impression the Knights were under your command?”

“I offer guidance where I am able, but I am not a werewolf.”

“The Knights view Vera as one of our own, even without a hide,” Hamish said. There was a slight growl to his words. A protectiveness, or maybe even a claim on her. Whatever it was, Vera knew it was also a threat. She set a hand on his arm, asking him to keep himself in check.

The new Grand Magus watched the action, though Vera doubted that came as any surprise to him either. “Of course. Now, where may we talk?”

Vera indicated the lawn furniture that had been set near the porch. “Our apologies, however this is a home, not a Temple. We had to work with what we had available.” In truth, Vera simply had no interest in letting any Order members poke around the Den, leaving behind possible traps or sneaking into places they shouldn’t.

If Mark Russel was displeased, he didn’t let it show. He simply took one of the seats and then took a briefcase from one of the other members and set it on his lap. “We’ve compiled a list of artifacts that the Order would like to regain.” He handed her a piece of paper and she scanned it over.

“And what are you prepared to give us in return?”

She saw the anger in a few Council members faces, but the Grand Magus remained calm. “I presume you have your own list of demands?”

Hamish produced the list they’d drafted over the past weeks and so it began.

The lists of demands were gone over with a fine-toothed comb. Items were scrapped from each, items were added. To Vera’s surprise, the other Temple Maguses _were_ offering up artifacts from their own collections. In some instances, it took two or three offerings before Vera agreed to relinquish the valuable artifact in the Knight’s possession. In other instances, she added a physical requirement to the return, such as keeping a certain object _out_ of the hands of the lower tiered disciples. Just to be on the safe side, she had Angus Carter transferred _anywhere_ other than Belgrave.

When they were finished, the sun had set but she was pleased with what they’d accomplished. The wolves would be working much as they originally had, prior to her attempting to force them under the Order’s control. The Order would be asked to police their own on campus, with the understanding that if they didn’t, the Knights would be stepping in. It had been Jack that had given many of the specifics regarding that particular request, with Gabrielle protesting nearly every suggestion. That alone had convinced Vera it was necessary. The final agreement was that the Order would provide the Knights with a list of all members in the area at any given time. Anyone caught doing magic, not on the list, would be at the mercy of the Knights. With the memory of Praxis so recent, it hadn’t been a hard sell.

“If that is all,” the Grand Magus said, “we will accept the terms as written here,” he lifted the sheet of paper, which was covered in tiny, inked print. “We’ll have the typed up and prepared by Monday.”

“One more thing,” Hamish said.

Vera was afraid her own surprised mirrored Mark’s. She turned to Hamish, half questioning, half threatening that he’d better not ruin this.

Mark gave a small nod to continue.

“Vera stays on as Chancellor.”

There was a rush of whispering amongst the Order members. Vera could read their faces; they weren’t pleased. Mark, however, looked considering. At least until Hamish spoke again.

“And Vera has a hand in each year’s new candidates.”

“Absolutely not!” one woman exclaimed.

“It’s bad enough you want to control how we use our magic. Now you want to choose our future practitioners?” another argued.

“Not choose,” Hamish said calmly. “You’ll still get the final say in who passes or fails the tests. But we want some say in who’s going to be running around campus learning magic. In return, the Knights will offer Order members the chance to come before the hides, whenever it’s time to select a new Knight. It’s clear that what Vera had hopes won’t work. Neither of us want to completely join forces. But if we don’t work try to work together, we’ll never be able to coexist peacefully.”

Vera could hear the faint protests in the background. The Grand Magus’s expression was completely closed off and she couldn’t get a read on him. “I think this is something myself and the Council will need to discuss in more depth,” he said carefully. He lifted up the agreement that they’d so painstakingly drew up. “I think we’ll hold off on this, for the moment. We’ll be in touch once we’ve made a decision.”

“What were you thinking? Do you realize you may have just destroyed a whole day’s worth of negotiations?” Vera hissed, the moment the crowd began dispersing.

“It’ll be worth it,” Hamish said.

“Are you sure? Because _keeping it from me_ makes me think you _knew_ it was a bad idea but you didn’t want to argue.”

“You’re right, I didn’t want to argue, but I do think it’s a good idea. Tundra agrees.”

“Tundra,” Vera laughed. “Tundra _is_ you. Of course, it agrees.”

“The hides have their own personalities. Yes, they tend to pick people with similar traits, but they’ve got their own thoughts and emotions. He’s disagreed with me plenty of times over the years.”

Vera was so damned sick of hearing about these wolf hides. If it wasn’t Alpha, it was Midnight, or Tundra. Sometimes even Silverback. The only ones she didn’t have to hear about were Timber, but then Lilith Bathory had a tendency to avoid being around her whenever possible, and Greybeard, who by all accounts didn’t care about much other than food.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

Vera nearly jumped at the unexpected voice. She turned around and found Matti standing a few feet away, looking uncomfortable. Cars were already backing out of the driveway, making him seem out of place as the only person left standing in the yard. She let out a sigh. “Yes. Matti.”

“I thought I should tell you, I’m putting my name in for Temple Magus.”

Vera’s heart dropped. “You hate city life.”

He shrugged. “Living next door to a pack of bloodthirsty beasts doesn’t sound too boring. Sounds like home, actually…Luiz’s name is also being thrown around.”

Vera sighed. “Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate it.” She glanced back at the retreating vehicles. “How bad did this idiot screw things up?” she asked, nodding at Hamish.

Matti gave her a wry grin. “I read bears, Vee. Not people.” He took a step back and started to turn. “I’ll try to let you know if I hear anything.”

Vera waited until Matti was nearly to his car before turning back to the house. She set a hand on Hamish’s chest, getting him turned around too. “Knock it off. I’ve never slept with him.” He started to stammer an excuse but she cut him off. “I don’t find jealousy an attractive trait and anyone with eyes could see you glaring at him every time he looked my way.”

Hamish started to blush. “Sorry. I just-”

“I know.” She didn’t need to hear it. She wasn’t sure she _wanted_ to hear it. She needed him to keep his distance, but at the same time, she knew it was already too late for that. So when his arm brushed against her back, his hand coming to rest on her hip, she didn’t shrug him off. Hamish was already going to get hurt, either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited note - I want to see which way y'all would vote, Luiz vs Matti for new Temple Magus? They would add very different things to the story. Luiz is still salty about Kepler's death, so Luiz as Temple Magus would add a bit more tension to interactions between the two groups. Matti would add humor, because I'm not sure he'd actually be any good at the job. I've got some idea for both characters, both if they get the job and if they don't, so I could sort of go either way at this point.


	21. Happy Birthday, Lilith!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a fluffy, filler chapter.
> 
> And as an amusing note. I used the zodiac to give all the characters birthdates, since this will be a long story, and for my own weird need to know. Most of them fit the generalized zodiac personalities, strengths and weaknesses almost perfectly actually. So what I thought was funny, Hamish (Virgo) is most compatible with a Capricorn (Vera!). Sagittarius (Randall) has a high compatibility with both Leo (Gabby) and Aries (Lilith). Jack (Aquarius) and Alyssa (Pisces) have extremely low compatibility.

“One month down, only a hundred more to go,” Randall cheered as he walked past the table, holding out a fist for Hamish to bump.

Hamish cringed. While it was true, Hamish had never felt so relieved to wake up to the smell of blood, Randall did not need to be talking about Vera’s menses.

Vera just looked at Randall tiredly, cradling a coffee mug in her hands. Her plate sat, untouched, in front of her.

“We should have a party!” Randall decided.

“Absolutely not,” Hamish countered.

“Come on,” he whined. “Lilith never lets us throw her a birthday party. We could have a ‘Still a Free Man!’ party instead!”

“You just want an excuse for a party,” Hamish said.

Randall shrugged dramatically. “Well, duh. It’s a party.” His eyes got wide and a grin crept over his face. “Maybe we could plan it for Lilith’s actual birthday! It could be like a joint-semi-surprise party! I’ll go get Gabby.”

As soon as he was gone, Vera turned to Hamish. “Is he seriously pre-med? He’s an idiot, and still a few days shy of this one month of so-called ‘freedom’. Was the Order really _that_ bad?” she asked crankily.

Hamish could have fallen straight to his knees. _Thank God_ she thought Randall was just an idiot and didn’t ask what he was talking about. Hamish wasn’t sure he would have come up with a quick enough excuse. “He remembers things he reads,” Hamish explained.

Vera sipped at her coffee. “And yet I’m not sure he read a single book, even with early access to the Reliquary,” she said doubtfully.

“…put it on Wikipedia?”

Vera sighed heavily. “Do I have to be here for this party?”

Hamish chuckled. “Do you think it’s safe to go home?”

Vera arched a brow. “Do _you_ think it’s safe to throw a party? My opinion seems to be invalid here.”

“We listen. Randall just…chafes against being told what to do.”

“He never would have passed his trials as an actual neophyte,” she muttered.

“But we _have_ listened, haven’t we? You wanted us to stick together. You didn’t want us going on campus, and we haven’t. But it has been nearly a month. We’ve got to stop hiding out at some point.”

Vera looked at him, annoyed. “Because you _killed_ a high ranking member of the Order and then _robbed_ the Order when you left, admittedly at my direction, but still. Splitting up? Going about your normal routines, in public? That leaves you vulnerable.”

“It would take an extremely strong attack to take one of us out now, even if they did catch us by surprise,” Hamish told her. He understood why Vera was concerned, and at first he’d completely agreed, but he was beginning to think she’d gone a bit overboard with her caution.

“That’s not a good thing. Worst case scenario, someone attacks you. You kill them, and that gives an already tense Order a reason to decide they’d rather just fight it out, and there’s no guarantee all five of you would walk away from that.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “We needed that truce, Hamish. We needed them to agree to police themselves. And we _almost_ had it.”

“They’re still going to agree, Vera. They don’t have a choice.”

“They haven’t even come back with a counter offer yet.”

“It’s only Tuesday. Do they even work on weekends? Give them time. You’re the one that said they’re always slow.”

Vera let out a heavy sigh. “I never did like dealing with the Council,” she grumbled. She looked up at Hamish. “So when is Miss Bathory’s birthday, exactly?”

“Next Wednesday. Randall will probably end up planning something for this weekend, though. He’d never get it past her if he was that obvious.” Hamish hesitated, then suggested, “We could go out to dinner instead?” It was something she’d never allowed before, back when the word casual had been thrown in front of them like a shield.

“It would be nice to have a night to ourselves again,” she agreed. “We could pick up something on the way to my place?”

“Or we could eat in public for once?” he asked hopefully.

He could see the flash of panic cross her face, the automatic denial forming on her lips, before she bit down on her lower lip instead.

“Let’s try it, just once. We can avoid any place that we might run into anyone we know.”

She held his gaze and he could see her working through it. “You’re willing to drive a couple hours?” she finally asked, giving the barest smirk.

“If I have to, but how about we change that from places we won’t see anyone to places we’re just less likely to. Nothing within walking distance. Nothing a college student could afford.”

“Nothing a spoiled, 1%er student with a trust fund could afford? And what about the professors?” she teased. She let out a breath. “I suppose we could try it.”

Hamish wouldn’t have been able to stop smiling if he tried. “Really?”

She rolled her eyes. “I said yes, didn’t I?” She brought her mug to her lips, hiding a small smile.

“I told you they’d call,” Hamish told Vera that Saturday.

“Except they _haven’t_ yet,” Vera said, testing the door to the basement for the millionth time. “Matthew just _thinks_ they will. And he plays the political game about as well as Mr. Carpio.” She gestured at the door. “Test that ward.”

Hamish didn’t need to. Vera had had them wrap the basement in so many wards and protection spells that Tundra could feel the magic pulsing from the room. “It’s fine.”

“Test it anyways. I’m not leaving until I know those artifacts _aren’t_ going to go missing _again._ Pardon me for not trusting the Knights’ judgement on this one.”

Hamish muttered the incantation and then arched a brow at her, never saying a word.

Vera huffed. “Fine.” She glared at the door for a moment. “We really need a better method of securing the artifacts. Werewolves alone won’t be enough long term.”

“What? Like the Fear Corridor?”

She waved a hand dismissively and began walking away. “You’re powerful but you’re not that powerful. The Temples were built around energy sources of their own. We can’t replicate that, even if you could match the power of the entire Belgrave chapter. I’ll do some research.”

“I hope you mean later,” Hamish teased. If it weren’t for the fact he knew Vera didn’t want to be caught dead at Lilith’s surprise birthday party – Hamish refused to think of it as a “Didn’t Knock Up Vera This Month’ party – he’d think she was stalling.

Vera shot him a look. “Let me grab my purse.”

“You’re not even going to stay until Lilith gets here?” Randall whined as they headed out the door moments later.

“I think the best present I can give Miss Bathory is _not_ crashing a college party, don’t you think?” Vera asked him.

Randall looked to Hamish. “But this is the first birthday party we’ve ever thrown Lilith.”

Except Hamish wasn’t about to forget Randall’s first idea for a party and he wanted Vera as far away as possible from his soon-to-be drunk packmates before Randall could find a way to celebrate that fact. He suspected Vera wouldn’t need her magic to kill Randall if she was embarrassed enough.

“Which would be why I’m getting the hell out of dodge now,” Hamish told him instead.

“She’ll be excited! You’ll see.”

“Excited for the chance to kill someone, maybe. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have got reservations.” Hamish opened the door, ushering Vera through.

“Reservations. Ooh. Fancy,” Randall called after them.

“Reservations?” Vera asked, once the door was shut behind them.

Hamish shrugged. “You wanted to avoid people. I figured a place that requires reservations would at least exclude most students.”

Vera somehow looked both impressed and uncertain. “If you’d told me, I could have put on something nicer.”

“Vera, you look amazing. You always look amazing. In fact, I’m beginning to think you’re incapable of looking anything less.”

Vera gave a light laugh. “Somebody’s hoping for some action tonight,” she teased.

“Every word out of my mouth is the God honest truth.” He matched her sly smirk as he opened the car door for her. “But I wouldn’t argue if you’ve got other plans for later tonight.”

Vera’s lips twitched as she fought back a smile. “Shut the door.”

Hamish felt a little bad that Vera was so obviously tense. He’d even gone so far as to request a table in the back when he’d called, where they wouldn’t be seen by every person that walked in. Now that they were here, he wasn’t sure that where they sat even mattered. Vera hadn’t stopped scanning the room once since they’d arrived. Sure, she kept up the polite conversation between tiny little bites of salad, but Hamish felt more like he was at a business meeting than on a date.

“Do you want to go?” Hamish asked, shortly after their entrees arrived. “We can take this home.”

“No. We’re here, we should stay.” She took another swig of wine as she said it. As many times as he’d refilled her glass already, he suspected the bottle she’d ordered upon arriving would be fairly light by the time they left.

“You look ready to bolt every time someone enters the room, and I’m not actually sure you can get any further away from me and still be at the same table,” Hamish pointed out, trying to sound as understanding as possible.

Vera sighed, making a point of shifting her chair about a millimeter closer. “It’s not you,” she began. Hamish arched a brow, amused that this was the route she was taking. She pressed her lips together in response, unamused. “I’m being serious. I don’t date. This is…new…for me.”

Hamish had a hard time believing that. He knew she had difficulty letting people in, but she was also an incredibly attractive, successful woman. “When’s the last time someone took you out?”

Vera shrugged, her mouth turning down into a frown. “College, maybe?” When she saw he wasn’t inclined to believe her, she gave him an exasperated look. “It’s not like I’m saying I’ve been celibate. Clearly that is not the case. It’s just that that’s usually all it is. I don’t expect the wine and dine experience first. I’m usually too busy for that anyways.” She shrugged again. “It’s fine, really. I’ve always been clear that I’m not looking for a relationship. And I do dinner sometimes with colleagues, or when old friends are in town. Just not this,” she said, pointing at him casually with her fork.

Hamish stared at her for a moment, surprised. “We are definitely arranging more date nights then.”

Vera grimaced. “Hamish…”

“Nope. You deserve to be treated right, and that includes wining and dining, and movie theaters, and maybe even some cheap carnivals,” he said, only slightly teasing.

“What happened to we can go home if I want?”

“That was when I thought you were just ashamed of being seen with me. Now I realize you just don’t know what it’s like to be properly courted.”

“Courted?” Vera repeated flatly.

Hamish grinned at her and nodded.

“You are getting awfully bold there, Mr. Duke.”

Maybe so, but she had also stopped looking around like a jumpy rabbit.

The rest of dinner went smoothly and when they left, Vera gave a small, reluctant, “Thank you,” before pulling the car door shut before he could respond. Hamish chuckled to himself as he walked around to the driver’s side. He’d get through to her yet.


	22. Here we go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did not plan this chapter to get so long. Not that y'all mind, I'm sure.

“Uh, Hamish?” A foot nudged him in the side.

Hamish startled awake, rapidly blinking the sleep from his eyes. Randall was standing in front of him in only a pair of boxers, looking amused. Hamish slumped back against the beanbag, suddenly tired again. “What?” he asked groggily.

“You just going to sleep here all night?” Randall asked, shaking his head slowly.

“I can’t go upstairs.”

Understanding dawned on Randall’s face. “Ah. Tundra…” he trailed off, gesturing with his hands instead.

Hamish slung an arm across his face. “And if I go upstairs, I’m either going to piss her off, or spend the next few weeks second guessing every slightly-off move she makes.”

“She hasn’t come down to check on you yet?”

“She has. Unlike you, she let me sleep.”

Randall’s eyes narrowed knowingly. “You faked falling asleep.”

“It was my only option,” Hamish groaned.

“And what’s your plan for next month? And the month after that? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to just tell her.”

“I’m taking it one month at a time, man.”

Randall shook his head. “Your call, I guess. Meanwhile, I have got my water.” He held up a bottle and jiggled it. “Now I’m going back to my bed, and my girl. Have fun sleeping by yourself in the living room.”

Hamish fumbled for something to throw at Randall as he left but came up empty. With a grunt, he settled himself back into a comfortable position and was soon fast asleep.

“Well,” Randall said later that day, “the good news is, if you need an excuse to avoid your girlfriend again tonight, it shouldn’t be hard to piss her off and make her kick you out of your own room for the night.”

“She starts back at work Monday. She’s just stressed,” Hamish said. Vera’s friend had been right and the Grand Magus had called earlier in the week to arrange the final meeting. With the agreement signed, it was time for life to start getting back to normal. Or normal for the Knights, at least. Once again, Vera would be adjusting to an all new normal. The Chancellor and Temple Magus jobs had always gone hand in hand and he knew it felt like she was losing part of herself all over again. She was back in control of the University, but without the most important part of it. The Order would answer to somebody else now, someone she’d have to work closely with in some respects, but ultimately would have limited power over. Hamish knew it would be difficult for her, but he also knew they needed that balance.

“Yeah, well, she’s being a total bitch.”

“Maybe if you wouldn’t try to aggravate her, she wouldn’t direct so much of it at you.”

But Randall just shrugged it off. “At this point, I think I could never put a foot out of line again, and she’d still be on my case about it. What’s the fun in that?”

Randall was probably right actually, but still. “Then stop complaining that you’re on the receiving end of most of her lectures.”

“Once again, where’s the fun in that?”

Hamish shook his head. “I’ll go check on her.”

“Tell her to tone it down a notch.”

“That part’s your job,” Hamish told him as he left.

“What is the point in having a spy if you can’t even get me answers?” Vera was saying. When Hamish neared the kitchen, he could hear Vera holding court, so to speak. He didn’t think she’d planned it but, over the course of the past month, the kitchen had become Vera’s domain, in a sense. Getting called to the kitchen these days could be every bit as nerve-wracking as being asked to see the Grand Magus in her office, which admittedly for the wolves, wasn’t terribly concerning.

“It’s not just me. They aren’t talking to anyone,” Nicole said, her voice quiet but firm.

Vera huffed and paused for a moment. “But Mark Russell has been staying at the Temple?”

“Yes, Gra-. Yes. All week.”

“Then can you at least tell me what he’s been doing when he’s there?” Another pause. “Who’s coming and going? How long are they staying? Do they look content or concerned when they leave?”

“Vera,” Hamish called as he stepped around the corner. It seemed she was every bit as snippy as Randall had complained about. Lucky for them, Vera Stone’s temper tantrums were more amusing than threatening to him these days.

She took one look at him and said, “No.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.” He restrained his growing urge to smile, knowing it would just piss her off further. It wasn’t that hard to do for once, especially considering Tundra was already perking up just by having her near, and with Vera, Nicole and Lilith standing in front of him again, it was easy to remember the embarrassment of the month before. Hamish mentally tried to will Tundra down and, after a moment, the wolf grumbled and eased off.

“You were up half the night researching something. Whatever ridiculous spell you’ve found this time, not today.”

Hamish cringed slightly at the memory of their last attempt at returning Vera’s magic. “In my defense, neither of us took that translation literally.”

_Rekindle the internal flame_. He’d thought it was a reference to magic. Who would have thought it meant literal fire?

“Yes, well, you weren’t the one who was set on fire just days ago, were you?” She brushed past him. “I have enough on my plate for the moment. We can save the experiments for another week.”

Hamish wasn’t going to argue. As much as he wished Vera would put as much effort into finding a solution for her magic as she had in the beginning, pushing her on it would only make things tense between them. And she wasn’t fighting him about trying new ideas. Whatever he offered up, she was open to trying. But she also had other priorities and maybe he understood. As impatient as he was to find her a cure, she wasn’t at risk of collapsing any moment. They had time.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to understanding what it is I’ll be walking into in a few days.”

Nicole looked to Hamish instead. “We really don’t know anything. The new Grand Magus has stayed in town but he hasn’t spoken with any of us from the Belgrave chapter.”

“We understand. Go ahead.” He nodded towards the door, dismissing them.

“Wait,” Vera ordered before turning on Hamish. “What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed.

He looked at Lilith and Nicole, who were hesitating by the door. “Just go.” He almost regretted it instantly, as Tundra immediately began stirring, recognizing they were alone. _Not now_ , he begged, sending the wolf whatever images he could to convey Vera’s distress. He got the distinct impression of _later,_ before Tundra quieted. Turning back to Vera, he continued. “I know you’re stressed, but stop tormenting the underlings,” he teased gently, reaching for her.

Vera glared at him, stepping out of his reach. “You’re not the one about to walk, unarmed, into a vipers’ nest. I need to know who they’re installing as the new Temple Magus.”

“First of all, if Nicole say she doesn’t know anything, there’s no reason to keep pressuring her. Unlike the rest of us, she’s still got to maintain a positive relationship with the Order. Secondly, don’t you think maybe you’re overthinking things? We’re not sending you back into the Temple alone. You’re going back to Belgrave’s administration building. The Order doesn’t run that. How many people in that building even know it exists?”

“If you don’t think the Order has its hands in every department on campus, you’re an idiot. The Chancellor may be the public face of Belgrave, but the Order had always been the one running things behind the scenes. They may have agreed to this, but it’s going to be me against them on _every_ issue that even remotely affects them. Who they nominate as Temple Magus is going to determine whether this job will be difficult or impossible.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to do it?” Hamish asked, suddenly concerned. It had never actually occurred to him that Vera _wouldn’t_ want the job.

Vera sighed, reeling in a bit of her frustration. “No. It was a good idea to have someone on the Knight’s side at the top of campus politics. I’m the only one qualified.”

“But do you _want_ to do it?” he asked again.

Vera’s expression didn’t appear very enthusiastic but she nodded. “Yes, Hamish. I want to do it.” He suspected there was more to it than that but she wasn’t saying.

“Then why are you so stressed? Is it your magic?”

He realized it was the wrong thing to say the moment he said it. Vera looked at him, exasperated. “I don’t even know which part of that to address first. Are you seriously saying you don’t get it? Did you actually think that trying to take over something that the Order has controlled _since the school was founded_ would be simple for me? And Hamish, you just _set me on fire_ a few days ago and I still haven’t said enough is enough. Does that answer how I feel about my magic?”

Vera was definitely running on a shorter fuse than normal but Hamish knew how to talk her down on these days. The thing was, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Letting Vera stay rattled for an extra day or two would throw a wrench in Tundra’s plan for this month at least.

Hamish steeled himself. “Really? Because it feels like I’m the only one looking for answers anymore.”

Vera’s eyes got wide, then her mouth pressed into a thin line. “I’m sorry I thought making sure you idiots stayed alive was more important.” She didn’t try to ask him to leave. She turned and strode out before he had a chance to say another word.

“Vera,” he half-heartedly called after her. As much as he wanted to run after her, to apologize, he knew he’d just need to make it up to her in a couple of days, once the threat had passed.

He could sense an impressed sort of amusement emanating from Tundra and got the impression that the wolf was yielding this round.

Vera was still angry with Hamish by the time dinner rolled around and she proved it by leaving a pack of hungry college kids to fend for themselves, after spoiling them with full dinners for the past five weeks.

Lilith slapped him upside the head. “What the hell did you do to her?”

Hamish ducked away from a second blow. “You don’t even like her.”

Lilith scowled at him. “Well, I like the food,” she acknowledged.

Hamish knew there was more to it than that. As much as they bitched and moaned at times, every one of them had come to respect her in some form or fashion. They didn’t have to like her to accept her and the wolves would always back one of their own. Hamish looked over at Randall and found the younger man watching him knowingly. Randall had been telling him to tell Vera but for the first time, Hamish wondered whether Randall had been saying out of practicality or whether there’d been more behind that reasoning as well.

“Do you think she’d be pissed if we grabbed something from the Blade and Chalice instead?” Randall asked hopefully.

“Probably,” Jack responded. “But she did tell us to fend for ourselves, and we _are_ going to be going back to classes and everything else in just a few days.”

They all looked to Hamish for the final say. He sighed. “Just lay low, stick together, and call if anything seems even a little bit off.”

“You aren’t coming?” Lilith asked.

He shook his head. “Someone needs to stay here.”

“Do you want us to bring you anything?” Randall asked.

“I’ll eat a sandwich.”

“That’s boring,” Lilith said, but she was already headed upstairs to apply the concealer Vera had found for her demon mark.

Randall waited until everyone had wandered away, looking for keys, or makeup, or purses, before he turned to Hamish. “We both know you know how to talk her down.”

Hamish shrugged. “It seemed like the best option at the time.”

Randall scowled, shaking his head. “Well next time, don’t get us mixed into it. Wait until we eat first.”

“You realize she _will_ go home eventually. Probably soon, if things go well.”

“Yeah, but she’s not going to just abandon us, right? She’ll still be here a lot and she can still feed us while she is.”

“I think that’s something all of you will need to ask her yourselves, very very nicely.”

When the others began trickling back into the room, Randall turned to Hamish one last time. “Sure you don’t want anything?”

“I’m sure.”

“Are you going to try to talk to Vera?” Jack asked.

Hamish sighed heavily. “No. I think I’m going to let her cool for a while.” The last thing he needed was to make up with Vera when there was nobody else in the house. Vera could wait a little while longer.

Hamish was settling himself onto his bean bag bed when he heard Vera’s footsteps coming down the stairs. A moment later, Vera appeared. Her arms were folded over her chest but she only looked slightly annoyed.

“Would you seriously rather sleep down here than come talk to me?” she asked.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to come up.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

“You’ve never left me with four starving werewolves either.”

She let out a small snort of amusement. “I hear they went out for dinner then.”

“Sorry. I didn’t see a point in stopping them. They’ve got to figure it out at some point.”

“No, you were right. They’re about to be back to their normal schedules. They probably needed the practice run. How did it go?”

“No reports of any trouble and they all made it home, so I guess it was a success,” he told her. Vera pursed her lips and just watched him for a moment. He couldn’t hold out. “I’m sorry for earlier. I was out of line.”

Vera gave a longsuffering sigh. “I may have overreacted…Matthew finally texted. He got the job.”

“…that’s good, right?” Hamish asked. He knew it was what Vera had hoped for, even if Tundra was now egging him towards a different, slightly more violent action that he knew Vera would disapprove of.

Vera nodded. “He’ll give this a fair shot, at least. It’s the most we can ask for.” She nodded her head towards the stairs. “Come on.”

Hamish hesitated but then followed. Tundra truly seemed to have bowed out of this round. Hamish was relieved, not that he wanted to repeat the move. He would just need to come up with something better next time. Something that wouldn’t hurt Vera’s feelings.

A few minutes later, Vera was snuggled into his chest. Tundra remained quiet, allowing them the moment.


	23. The Chancellor

“Chancellor Stone, we’re so glad to have you back.” It was the third time since she’d walked out of her office that she’d heard that phrase, politely uttered by stupidly smiling faces that didn’t have a clue who she actually was.

“The break was nice but I’m happy to be back as well,” she responded with her own false smile.

“How’s your father doing? We were all sorry to hear he was so ill.”

Vera let her smile fall and glanced down, twisting the more bitchy frown into something that might resemble grief at a glance. She _knew_ it was innocent. The Order didn’t know about her strained history with her parents and a sick father would be a reasonable explanation for her sudden and prolonged absence. She just wished she wouldn’t have to be reminded of her father every time she passed somebody. “Dead, I’m afraid,” she said, trying to keep the chill from her voice. It was partly wishful thinking, partly hoping the word would get passed around so people would stop asking the question. By the wide-eyed horror that came over the woman’s face, that second part might come true.

“I am so sorry. That must be-, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Vera gave her a tight smile. “It’s alright. We haven’t been close in many years.” Almost twenty-two, to be exact. On the day she told him she was pregnant and that special father/daughter bond had been wrecked beyond repair.

The woman gave her own weak, forced smile. “Still, I’m sorry for your loss,” she murmured before hurrying away.

Vera watched her scurry off with an unhappy scowl. She wasn’t even a third of the way through her day and already she wished it was over. The false pleasantries had always been tedious but she usually could plaster on a smile and make people think she was enjoying herself. This had always been the easy part of her job. These weren’t Order members. Other than the typical office politics and gossip, there wasn’t anything particularly trying about anyone she worked with.

But after a month away, getting back into the routine was going to be harder than she’d expected. It wasn’t just the gossips and all the time wasters. It was the list of people needing to speak with her about some matter or other, barely leaving her room for a coffee break before the next one arrived. She had never really realized how much she did until it was all thrown at her at once. Just an endless stream of reports and paperwork, both old and new. And she hadn’t even seen Matti or anyone else from the Order, though she expected that would be coming too at some point.

She had just returned to her office and slumped back into her chair when her phone dinged. She bit back a groan, half expecting it to be Matti, letting her know they were on their way. Instead, it was another message from Hamish.

**H: First class in 10.** **Hope your day is going well.**

**V: Just Long.**

**V: Time for lunch?**

**H: No classes 12-2 today. Time?**

**V: 12:30? My office.**

**H: See you then.**

Vera set down her phone with a smile. Some stress-relief midday would be just what she needed.

By the time the knock came on her door, Vera had completely lost track of time. She looked up and found her assistant waiting uneasily by the door.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. There’s a young man here who says you’re expecting him?”

Vera glanced at the clock, surprised to find it was slightly past 12:30 already. She began gathering her papers together. “Yes, send him in. And Jess, you can go. You didn’t need to wait.”

The young woman nodded appreciatively and left, saying a few quiet words on her way. A moment later, Hamish appeared, carrying a bag. “I don’t know why I expected people to react differently to you outside the Order,” he chuckled, shaking his head.

Vera glanced up at him. “Why would they? I don’t expect any less of them, just because they don’t know magic.”

Hamish’s smile was already beginning to chip away at her foul mood. He set the bag down on a clear corner of the desk. “So I wasn’t sure what-” She cut him off, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him to her. Hamish came willingly, his hands reaching for her in return. She could feel him chuckle against her lips. “That bad of a day?” he murmured between kisses.

“Shut up.” Vera kissed him again, hard, before pulling back. “Condoms are in a drawer on the left. The middle one, I think,” she told him as she began clearing some space on the desk.

Hamish arched a brow but it was clear he didn’t plan to argue. “Do I need to worry about why you’re keeping condoms in here?” he teased, stepping around the desk to find the drawer. He didn’t actually look concerned, but Vera knew that question was at least partly genuine. She’d never invited him to her university office before.

Still, she lobbed a pen at him for asking, letting it bounce off his chest. “I only got them when I lost my magic. You are my favorite stress relief and I wanted to be prepared.”

Hamish laughed. “High praise.”

Vera finished rearranging her desk and straightened. Hamish was still riffling through her drawers. She arched a brow. “Do I need to come help you?”

“Maybe so, because I don’t see any.”

Vera went to his side, nudging him out of the way. A minute later, she slammed the drawer shut. “Damn it! They must have cleared out my desk when they thought I was actually gone.” She was also missing an assortment of snacks and protein bars she kept for days she didn’t have time to eat. She huffed, frustrated, and looked at Hamish hopefully. “You have any on you?”

Hamish looked even more disappointed than she felt. “I forgot to restock. I could run to the store?”

Vera sighed, checking the clock again. “I don’t have the time today. I’ve been in meetings all day and they start back up right after lunch.” She could see Hamish mulling something over and she really hoped he wasn’t about to give her some line about pulling out.

“I-, think…we might be safe?” Hamish said hesitantly.

Vera arched a brow, crossing her arms. “Is this one of those you-can’t-get-pregnant-if-I-pull-out lies? Do you think I’m some teenage virgin, buying that?”

Hamish hesitated again. “Werewolf thing,” he finally said.

Vera watched him for a long moment. She wasn’t entirely sure she bought it. She could see it in his face, there was something he wasn’t telling her, but she could also see that he believed it and she wasn’t sure she would even want to know the details. If the werewolves were _that_ closely attuned to her, she would rather go on pretending she didn’t know.

She worried at her lower lip. Whatever the details, she knew she trusted him. He wasn’t the kind of guy who’d lie, just to get laid. And fuck it, she needed this today. “Okay,” she agreed.

The hardest part had been staying quiet and letting them make the decision themselves. Each piece had fallen into place without any of Tundra’s interference and while he wasn’t much of a believer in the concept, Tundra liked to think of it as Fate.

Tundra had felt his Champion nudging at him, pressing him for a response, while completely ignoring the very same senses Tundra had been using. He didn’t think about the fact that the moment he’d entered the building, he’d become aware of her, or the way his body responded to a simple kiss. Even if he didn’t understand the subtle fluctuation of her scent, he should have recognized lust, the scent of it overwhelming to the sensitive nose of a wolf. Whatever her head said, her belly was asking to be filled. There were so many little clues and his Champion had ignored every single one, all because a magical spirit appeared disinterested.

Tundra watched contently as his Champions came down from their high, arms still holding each other, lips still stealing lazy kisses. When his mate pulled away and began straightening her clothing, the boy reached for her, tugging her back in for a final kiss.

“Better?” his Champion whispered against her lips.

“Much,” she replied. She reached up and touched his lips with her thumb, her green eyes soft and filled with fondness. “You’d better go before you start kissing me again.”

“Let me know when you head home?”

She nodded. “Now go. I need to get ready for my next meeting,” she said, swatting at him.

“Make sure you eat something too,” he told her.

Her lips pressed tight against a smile and she swatted at him again. “Out. Now.”

This time, he went to leave, turning back to look at her once more before he rounded the corner. Tundra allowed himself a moment of satisfaction, his own emotions blending unnoticed with his Champion’s. Now he just needed to wait and see if the seed would take root.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that only took me 23 chapters to get to. lol. Can we say Vera's going to be pissed when Hamish finally does tell her?
> 
> But it really is quite interesting. There have been studies that even if you always use protection and forget it just once, the chances of it being on a day you're fertile are actually surprisingly high, because your body is essentially doing it's own subtle encouraging in hopes of getting pregnant. So Vera just unknowingly helped Tundra along here.


	24. Absolutely, Could Not Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a bunch of these next parts written out so hopefully can get one a day or so written out for a bit.
> 
> Also, little bit of Matti in this chapter. Just kind of funny bc I always had this idea that he was this laidback park ranger without any real aspiration to move up in the Order or hold any positions. He was never meant to be the next Temple Magus, that was always my plan for Luiz. Then Matti just kind of raised his hand and went "uh? You realize I would volunteer, right?" So had to ask for votes and most of y'all seemed to be on his side. lol.

“Vee? You still with me?”

Vera blinked and shook her head, running a hand over her face. “Sorry, Matti. Apparently, I let myself get a little lazy. It’s proving harder than expected to get back into the routine. I feel like I could go home and go right to bed,” she admitted, laughing a little at the absurdity of it. That lifetime of not sleeping felt like it was finally catching up with her.

Matti groaned dramatically. “You’re telling me. Why didn’t you warn me before I took this job?”

A tiny smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head. “And you are doing half the job of any other Temple Magus.”

He shrugged, unoffended. “Yeah, well, we both know this was never a dream of mine.”

Her smile softened, coming a little easier. “I know. Thank you. Again.”

He looked down and if she didn’t know better, she’d think he was embarrassed. “Let’s just say we’re even now.”

“You never owed me a thing and even if you did, this would be way too big a favor.”

“I didn’t do it just for you. This is about the kids here, learning magic with a pack of magical predators on their doorstep. Learning to coexist with predators was part of my job description.”

Vera arched a brow at him. “These predators you’re talking about are kids themselves.”

He shrugged. “Then include them in the kids I’m trying to help. Isn’t that the point here? Working together so that we all get through this alive?”

Vera leaned back in her chair and arched a brow at the stack of papers he’d brought with him. “If you try to pawn off all your paperwork on me again, _you_ might be the one at risk.”

“You said you’d help until I got it all figured out.”

“Help, not do.” She pushed the papers towards him. “It’s not that hard. Bring it back to me for approval _after_ you’ve finished it. For now, I’d like to go home and curl up on the couch and just do nothing for a few hours.”

Matti sighed dramatically but gathered up everything. “You wound me, Vera.”

“You’ll heal.”

“Tomorrow then?”

Vera huffed but nodded. “Completed, Matti!” she called after him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll get it done,” he called back, never looking over his shoulder.

Hamish was already there when Vera got home and by the peculiar blend of spices, chicken, and heat, he’d apparently already started on dinner. And while she appreciated the gesture, she was a bit less appreciative when it was her own kitchen subjected to that torture. Hamish wasn’t as terrible a cook as the younger members of the pack, his food was usually edible, but he could be extremely rough on the equipment, something she’d yet to break him of. Seeing as how she hadn’t been particularly interested in taking the time to cook something herself though, she wasn’t going to complain. She hung her coat and purse on their hooks and headed for the kitchen.

Hamish was already looking up when she came into his line of view. “Hey,” he said, smiling. Then his smile twisted into more of a smirk. “Randall said to say hello too.”

Vera shook her head, coming around the counter to check on her kitchen. “Kiss ass.” If she’d only realized she could buy her way into Randall Carpio’s good graces so easily via his stomach, things might have gone much smoother. She could have added a buffet to any Order gatherings.

Hamish chuckled softly. “It’s not just him. It’s half of what they talk about whenever I see them.”

“Tell them I’ll make something Saturday,” she said, nudging him aside. She was somewhat amused by the amount of pouting four college-aged kids were doing over missing ‘family dinners’, as it had somehow come to be called. She and Hamish had been gone less than a week, only leaving the safety of the Den once the first week back on campus had gone smoothly. They had access to the school cafeteria, plus wherever else they have previously frequented, although it seemed pointless to point that out.

“Sorry if you didn’t want me to start dinner. I wasn’t sure how late you’d be,” Hamish apologized, watching her adjust the heat on the burners.

“It’s fine. I just don’t want you burning my pans,” she told him, stepping out of the way again. “I actually wasn’t sure I was up for it tonight anyways, so thank you.”

A flicker of concern passed across his face. “Did something happen? You were meeting with the Order, right?”

Vera gave him a small smile. “Just Matthew. The Order operates through the school, meaning their budget needs to be approved by me. He was supposed to bring me the paperwork this evening.”

“What happened?” he asked, scowling. “Were they trying to demand too much? Maybe I should have been there, Vera. I don’t like the idea of them cornering you.”

Vera arched a brow at his protectiveness. “I’m not in any danger. Not with Matthew, at least. And actually, he didn’t even _do_ the paperwork,” she told him, holding back a smile. She sank down on one of the bar chairs and began taking off her shoes. “I’m just tired. I don’t think I’ve taken a vacation in…God, I can’t even think. _Years._ It is not as easy to get back into the swing of things as I’d expected.” She dropped her shoes onto the floor and looked up at Hamish. “How do you feel about movie night after dinner?”

Hamish grinned. “Popcorn?” he asked, teasingly.

Vera smiled back. “Naturally.” She eyed the pans on the stove. “Do I have time to go change into something more comfortable?”

He nodded. “Yup. I’ve got this handled.”

“Amazing,” she said, standing back up. “I have got to get out of this bra.” Hamish looked at her funny and she rolled her eyes. “They’ve been a little tender. Fucking PMS," she said lightly. Not something she typically cared to discuss with any man, but considering he’d probably be trying to touch them later, a little warning to be gentle didn’t hurt. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Hamish couldn’t focus on the movie, not that it mattered. Vera had fallen asleep on his lap the minute the popcorn had run out. He couldn’t look away from her, sleeping so peacefully while he felt like a nervous wreck.

This was not happening. It was just his mind playing tricks on him, taking worst case scenario and trying to connect perfectly reasonable occurrences to it. So what if Vera _never_ fell asleep before him, or if the space on the bed beside him was still warm in the mornings rather than cool. They were over halfway through their second week back at work, after having had a full month of no schedules or deadlines to meet. She’d kept busy, but it had been at her own pace. Of course her job as Chancellor would be more demanding.

And breast tenderness _was_ a symptom of PMS, and one she didn’t seem surprised by. Maybe it was normal for her. And hell, he’d slept on a bean bag rather than risk another slip up this month. Vera wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be. It was just his mind playing tricks on him, seeing something that wasn’t there.

As for her scent, well, he didn’t know how to explain that one. His attempts at tracking its fluctuations hadn’t yielded him many results, except that he knew that something was different now. It wasn’t anything he could put a finger on, or explain. It was just…off. But maybe she was coming down with a cold. Or, as much as he didn’t want to think about it, maybe it was the Fors Factorum at work and that magical cancer she talked about…that she’d had for years. But it absolutely was not, could not be, that she was pregnant.

He didn’t have the nerve to ask Tundra.


	25. Randall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. Didn't expect to write this via Randall but Hamish was a bit too full of doom and gloom. He can get his monologue later. lol. 
> 
> I have tomorrow off so I should be able to get the next chapter out, but it's probably going to be a pretty long one so no promises.

There were certain scents that Randall had learned to recognize, even without making of point of thinking about it. For instance, he could pinpoint the untreated diabetic in the room in a heartbeat. Many serious diseases had their own scents as well, and others he just recognized as sickness. It wasn’t anything he paid much attention to typically, but the moment Hamish and Vera stepped through the front door late Saturday afternoon, something struck him as _off._

He’d been coming down the stairs to greet them and paused, sniffing the air again. It was subtle, something he would have brushed off if it was anyone other than Hamish and Vera. And, with time ticking away and no other plans, Randall decided to do the first thing that came to mind. He launched himself down the steps, calling, “You’re home!” And before either of them could react, he’d lifted Vera right off the ground in a bear hug, burying his nose in the pulse point of her neck. The scent was _definitely_ coming from her.

Vera seemed surprisingly small at this proximity and so even once the initial shock wore off and she started to push against him, she barely budged in his grasp. _“What_ are you doing?” she shrieked, slamming a hand into his shoulder.

Randall set her carefully back onto her high heeled shoes, before anyone else had to witness that awkward display of him _hugging_ Vera. She had puffed up like an angry cat, every line of her body tensed. “Are you wearing new perfume?” he asked lightly, tilting his head to one side.

But Vera apparently hadn’t even noticed his smelling her, because all she hissed was, _“Never_ try that again.” It probably would have been more of a threat if she still had her magic and was actually capable of being a threat to a werewolf. But since she wasn’t, he just watched her scurry away, off to the safety of the kitchen. He looked down at the bags she’d abandoned at his feet pitifully, hoping he hadn’t just ruined dinner.

Still, the moment Vera disappeared, Randall grabbed Hamish by the arm and yanked him right back out the front door, closing it behind them. “Am I crazy or does she smell different to you?” he asked, pointing in Vera’s general direction.

“Well, you are crazy. She would have killed you if she had her magic,” Hamish told him. By the look in his eyes, he was pleading with Randall to just change the subject.

Randall refused to drop it. “So you’ve noticed it too.”

Hamish sighed. “Yeah, earlier this week. But it’s probably nothing,” he said, his voice rising slightly with false hope. “She’s back at work. Maybe she picked up a bug.”

Randall nodded slowly, unconvinced. “Yeah, sure. That totally makes sense.” He crossed his arms, arching a brow. “Be honest, what’s the chance?”

“You found me sleeping in the fucking living room. I was totally hands off,” Hamish swore.

Randall gave him a cringing smile. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “But it’s not a one-day-only kind of deal. Were there any slip ups in the days before?” By the fleeting expression that passed across Hamish’s face, there had been. Randall sighed and pressed him on it. “When?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Because nothing’s the first thing that would pop into your head,” Randall countered.

“It was after. It’s fine,” Hamish said, trying to brush him off quickly. Randall just kept staring at him, silently pushing, until Hamish huffed. “We couldn’t find a condom, but it’s fine. I checked. Tundra didn’t even seem interested by then.”

Randall immediately slapped him upside the head. It took a moment for words to get through the disbelief clouding his head right then. “What the fuck, Hamish? I thought you were trying _not_ to get her pregnant. If you were out, you should have just asked me or Jack.”

“Tundra-”

“Tundra _told_ you he was trying to knock her up. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one here but you’re a fucking idiot.”

From the horrified look dawning across his face, Hamish was starting to realize where he’d gone wrong. “You don’t think…” he started to ask before stopping and shaking his head slowly, his mouth forming the word ‘no’ over and over again.

Randall raised a brow and gave him a tight smile. “Tundra _is_ the cunning one.” And Hamish was apparently the idiot for failing to remember whose hide he wore, as evidenced by the proof he suspected was now growing in Vera Stone’s belly. What. A. Laugh. He slapped Hamish on the back. “So congrats? Or too soon?”

Hamish shook his head. He looked like he was in complete shock. “No. We-, we don’t know anything for sure.”

“And that would be called denial.”

Hamish actually jumped a little when the door opened, but it was just Gabby, hating to be left out as usual. “What are you two up to?” she asked, glancing between them with a scowl. “And why does Vera seem on edge? She’s in there chopping vegetables like they personally offended her.”

“I hugged her,” Randall said, shrugging. “But do me a favor, go back in there and sniff her, then tell me what you smell.”

Gabrielle looked somewhat disturbed by the suggestion. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“You’re the newest Knight. Think of it like a training exercise,” he pleaded. He just wanted somebody else who hadn’t been let in on Tundra’s strange scheme to recognize that something about Vera was different.

“Is there something I’m supposed to be noticing?” she asked, totally lost. “Because I was just in there and nothing stood out.”

“Hamish is in denial. I’m trying to prove it,” Randall said, nodding towards the door encouragingly.

Gabrielle still looked confused and when she looked at Hamish, the expression only deepened. “And you look like you’re about to puke. Please, turn that way if you have to,” she said, pointing towards the porch rail.

Randall hadn’t realized just how freaked Hamish really was until his knees suddenly gave out and he slid down the wall, sinking onto the ground and putting his head in his hands. Randall cringed as Gabby blinked, taking a step back.

“Okay, what am I missing here?” she asked, looking at Randall for answers.

Randall hesitated, suddenly unsure if he should even tell her. The whole thing might seem like a bad joke to him, but he wasn’t the one figuring out that he had an actual baby on the way. He also knew that it was a possible future Hamish had totally refused. And maybe he got it. The guy had seen more death than the rest of them combined and that left a pretty big mark.

Before he had to ponder on it too long, however, Hamish made the choice for him. “There is a _miniscule_ chance,” he ground out slowly, “that Vera…possibly, could be…”

Hamish’s words started sounding choked, so Randall decided to finish it off for him. “Mommy Vera’s pregnant,” he told her.

Gabrielle drew back, looking stunned. “Well, fuck,” she blurted.

Randall bust out laughing. “They already did that.”

Hamish looked up at her pleadingly. “Just don’t say anything. We don’t know for sure.”

“Does _she_ know?” Gabrielle asked.

Hamish shook his head. “She thinks she’s PMSing,” he said flatly, letting his head fall back into his hands.

Randall’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

“We’re not discussing Vera’s body. It’s bad enough you know this much.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Randall didn’t want those kinds of details. “But she’s got symptoms then?”

“It could still be PMS.”

“Yeah, but when you’ve got a hide that’s pressuring you to reproduce, you may as well just call a duck a duck.”

Gabby suddenly took a big step away from him. “Wait, his hide? Is that a thing?” If she could have separated herself from Midnight right then, she looked like she would have.

Randall laughed. “Don’t worry. This is the first we’ve ever heard of it,” he assured her. He sat down on the ground next to Hamish and patted the spot beside him, looking at Gabby expectantly. Finally, she huffed and joined them. Randall looked over at Hamish. “So, about that puppy…”

From the look Hamish shot him, he wasn’t ready to discuss that.

Hamish had always been a rather resilient guy by necessity, so by the time the smell of dinner cooking wafted from the kitchen, he didn’t look ready to pass out. He seemed resigned to it, more than anything. Like it was just another hand Life had dealt him, unwanted and unexpected as it was, but what else was there to do but play it?

Still, how he managed to sit through dinner without giving anything away sort of amazed Randall, when he himself had been kicked three times for watching the pair too closely. It was sort of like watching a show though, or a train wreck. Poor Vera – Randall couldn’t believe he was even thinking those words in combination with Vera Stone – was definitely clueless for the moment. Hamish was more unsettled than he’d been right before they’d come inside and he kept looking at Vera and then just freezing until she’d look at him and he’d force a smile, turning back to his plate.

When they finally went to leave, Randall pulled Hamish aside again. “Maybe you should just tell her,” he suggested. Just get everything out in the open so they could face it head on.

Hamish let out a breath. “I’ll tell her. I just need some time to get my head wrapped around it first.”

“Hamish, man, I’m not sure you realize, but this is usually something the _girl_ tells the _guy,_ not the other way around. She’s going to figure this one out on her own, if you wait.”

“I just need a few days.”

“Okay,” Randall said in a singsong tone. He wasn’t sure if Hamish had a few days, but maybe he’d be lucky.

It wasn’t until the door shut behind them that Randall turned to Gabby and sighed. “I should have asked him to make us drinks first.”

She looked at him approvingly. “A toast?”

He nodded. “A toast,” he agreed, slinging an arm over her shoulders before heading for the bar.

Lilith came up behind them. “What are we toasting?”

Randall slung an arm over her shoulders as well. “The newest Knight.”

Lilith looked at him oddly. “Alpha rejected her.”

Randall rolled his eyes. “Okay, so it’s not a Knight in the literal sense. I just mean the family’s expanding. Mommy Vera’s got Hamish’s bun in her oven.”

Lilith’s stride faltered for a second. “Seriously? He knocked up that frigid bitch?” She gave a small huff of laughter. “Guess we’re really not getting rid of her now.” That much had been obvious to Randall for months now. Hamish had it bad for their dear…he wasn’t really sure what to call her actually.

By the time Jack returned from his nightly 'walk', the rest of them were already a little tipsy, admittedly well on the way to drunk. He just shook his head and picked up one of the shots Randall had lined up along the bar, ready to grab.

“What’d I miss?” Jack asked, downing the drink.

“We’re toasting the new daddy-to-be!” Randall exclaimed.

Gabby leaned forward, holding onto Randall for support. “Who’s not actually here right now to celebrate,” she added.

Randall nodded. “Right. They went home. Mommy’s tired…but you were here. You already knew that.” Then he laughed. “You should see your face. All-” He tried to do a shocked impression.

“Are you fucking with me?” Jack asked seriously.

Randall crossed his fingers over his heart in an X. “Cross my heart.” He thought for a second, then pointed a finger at Jack instead. “Don’t tell Vera. She doesn’t know she’s having a puppy. Baby,” he corrected himself. “I want a puppy.”

“Oh fuck,” Jack breathed. “She’s going to kill him.”

Randall brushed him off. “Phfft. It’s fine. Babies happen.” He laughed.

“You don’t get it,” Jack told them. He hesitated, then said, “Do you remember the Egregore?”

“Creepy tree thing?” Lilith asked, coming up beside them to lean against the bar.

Jack nodded. “Yeah. With the juice that connected all their minds.”

“Oooookay,” Randall said, not following.

“Vera forced all of us to relive the most painful moments of her past, including her daughter’s death.”

All three of the other Knights went still.

“Oh, fuck,” Randall said.


	26. Broken Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm glad some of you seem to have prepared yourself for this.

Hamish sat alone in a booth at the Blade and Chalice. A glass of bourbon sat in front of him, untouched for the time, though he’d been staring at it since he arrived. It was so tempting to fall back into the habit, just this once. Just one, to take the edge off.

He should be calling Vera. She’d become sort of an unwitting touchstone for his sobriety. Everything seemed just a little bit more manageable when he could hear her voice. Having a partner, someone to share in the responsibility of keeping a bunch of headstrong undergrads with an invincibility complex alive, had changed everything. Hamish had never set out to be the Knights’ leader but it was the way the dice had landed, and he’d been drowning under its weight. He wasn’t as strong as Vera. He hated the responsibility of putting people that he cared for into quite possibly dangerous situations, so he’d turned to things like drinking games instead. A roll of the dice had landed him in his position, a roll of the dice would make the calls. Then he could just call it fate and pretend he hadn’t possibly sent a friend to their death. It was all just simpler, handing command choices over to her instead. Everything was simpler when she was there to back him up…except he couldn’t bring himself to call her this time. Not when she was the problem. Her and, apparently, their unborn baby.

Children had always been part of the picture, when Hamish had been growing up. He’d had his future planned out since he was a child. Law school, like his dad. Only unlike his dad, he’d planned to be a prosecutor, protecting the innocents by putting away the worst of humanity - which probably explained how he’d jumped so easily when the Knights had been described as this force of goodness, protecting innocent civilians from evil. Some time during his college years, he’d expected to find his future wife. She’d be classy and intelligent, the whole package, the perfect woman to stand at his side. They’d buy a big house outside the city, where their children could run and play freely. They’d have a dog, a golden retriever maybe, something family friendly.

For a time, he’d seemed to be on track to getting everything he wanted. He’d started on his pre-law degree and was acing every class. He even thought he’d met the girl. Cassie had been _everything._ She wasn’t rich, like most of the students at Belgrave. She’d been a townie, a scholarship kid. But she’d been smart, and funny, and she loved life in a way that made him love it too. She’d been a few years older, and had initially rejected his advances, but once she’d given in, it felt like everything was starting to click into place. Only a few months in and he’d already fallen hard. He’d been imagining the day he’d propose, maybe at that picnic spot she always liked, their wedding day and her in a classic white dress, her laughter filling the rooms of a large house somewhere nearby, maybe even echoed by the laughter of small children at play. All the while, he’d been completely unaware of the double life she’d been leading.

And then there’d been that crisp and clear October day, when he’d followed her to the abandoned house in the middle of the woods and everything had changed. He’d recognized then that his life would be taking a slightly different route than he’d always planned, but by that point, all he’d wanted was her. Everything else was negotiable, as long as he had Cassie.

They’d only gotten nine more months.

It was amazing how much nine months could change a life. For Hamish, he’d lost everything. He’d started the nine months with dreams of law school, a wife, a house, children, a dog. At the end of nine months, the girl was gone forever. The house was big, and outside of the city, and nothing like what he’d dreamed of. Instead of a dog, he had a bloodthirsty wolf that took over his body at inopportune times. Before long, it would occur to him that law school might as well be a wash. There was no point anymore. There was no guarantee that he’d even live long enough to see the degree. And he swore he’d never father a child. He wasn’t going to subject an innocent child to a life of always being afraid that daddy wouldn’t come home this time. And then there was the fear of retribution. It was something he’d been aware of when he’d considered his future as a prosecutor. Evil people could do evil things in an attempt to sway things in their favor. Most evil people lawyers dealt with didn’t have magic at their disposal. No, this had been a choice he’d made and he didn’t need to bring anyone else into the uncertainty. Eventually, the children from his dream had been fulfilled by the other Knights. Younger, reckless kids that needed to look to him for guidance, for safety. He still went through the names of the ones he’d failed, during those years he was learning, those years when he’d hit a moment of weakness and couldn’t carry on alone.

Now he was facing another nine months. One he knew was meant to symbolize a new life, a new start. All he could think was that he was only nine months away from having someone else he cared about, someone else he would need to protect, or hell, just keep alive, and he’d done a shitty job of that so far. How could he trust himself with a baby?

Meanwhile…

Vera had always declined the lunch invites from the rest of the faculty members working in the administration building. Between running the school and the Temple, she’d just never had the time and before long, she’d been pegged as somewhat antisocial. The invites had continued, but they were said more out of a feeling of obligation. By the surprised faces, it was clear no one had ever expected her to accept. But with Hamish having classes during her lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and no Temple duties to occupy herself with, she’d found herself accepting almost before she’d thought about it. Maybe she’d become a bit too accustomed to the loud, raucous meals at the Den after all, now that they weren’t a nightly event, but a bit of conversation during lunch didn’t sound terrible.

“So, um, Chan-, Vera,” Janet from Admissions corrected herself with a tight smile. “We’re all glad you could make it today.”

_No, you aren’t,_ Vera thought to herself. The conversation had been stilted and uncomfortable from the moment they’d sat down. Still, she tried to smile and be polite. “Thank you for inviting me. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to accept in the past.”

Janet and Patricia, a secretary, glanced at each other, then smiled at her. Good God, this was going to be a long lunch. “I don’t think we’ve ever had the chance to talk before,” Patricia said. “So, um, becoming Chancellor at such a young age must have been a huge accomplishment…” she began, then trailed off, unsure of where to take it.

Vera could have used a drink, but drinking during the university’s work day was viewed a bit differently than drinking at the Temple, which meant she was stuck with a lemonade. She forced a small laugh. “I’m a bit of a workaholic, I’m afraid. I typically have to be forced into taking a day to relax,” she admitted. It was as close as she could get to talking about how she obtained her position as Chancellor, which was somewhat disappointing as becoming the youngest ever Temple Magus, and thus the youngest Chancellor, had been one of her proudest moments.

They, however, latched onto a different sentence. “Oh? Are you married?” Janet asked, clearly hoping for some connection they could talk about.

“No, I’m not.” At their disappointed faces, she hesitated. She hadn’t been intending to mention Hamish. Her private life was her private life but, well, Hamish had been coming around her office since they’d been back. “I have been dating someone for a few months,” she decided to offer up.

Patricia instantly perked up. “Jenny did say she say a young man heading towards your office the other week.”

And that would be why Vera had decided to mention him. The other reason, now that Vera had apparently proven herself to be human and not some antisocial robot, the conversation began flowing more easily, with the other women opening up about their own lives and families.

“Oh!” Patricia suddenly exclaimed. “I completely forgot to show you the ultrasound pictures Shannon sent me.” She turned to Vera. “My son and his wife are having their first this fall,” she explained as she began searching through pictures on her phone. “This will be my fourth grandbaby. My daughter has three. The twins are five, then little Aidan is two.”

“How is Shannon doing? She was having a rough time, wasn’t she?” Patricia smiled.

“The doctor’s got her on some medication for the nausea. Poor thing’s so tired though-”

“Tired?” Vera cut in suddenly, the word sticking out in her mind.

She got a patronizing smile in return. “Growing another human being is exhausting work, dear.” She chuckled good naturedly. “You’re young yet. Maybe one day, you’ll see for yourself.”

Patricia continued yammering on, but Vera had stopped listening. She sat there for several minutes, trying to remember the exact date of her last period. It wasn’t something she normally tracked that closely. Her life had always been busy and stressful enough that she was never one to panic over a few days. As long as she was in the right week, she didn’t even think about it. But she knew she was due for it soon, if she wasn’t already a bit past.

She stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot I was supposed to pick up something during my lunch break today.” She threw a few bills onto the table to cover the meal she hadn’t even gotten to eat yet and hurried out the door.

As soon as she got to her car, she rummaged through her purse for her schedule calendar and flipped back through the pages. The weeks she’d been at the Den were annoyingly empty and didn’t give her any clues. Still, she knew the date was close enough that this was a very real possibility.

Tired. The word needled at her. Vera couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt like she needed a nap, much less woken to find Hamish watching her as the sun began creeping through the blinds. For a while, she’d just accepted it. She’d taken more time off work than she’d _ever_ done in her entire life. She was getting older. It was understandable that she wouldn’t be able to bounce right back into it again…and it had been nearly a decade since she’d performed the Fors Factorum. She’d gotten more time than some, but she’d felt it eating away at her for years. She’d never seen the cost up close, but it wouldn’t come as a surprise if a constant fatigue was the next step towards her finally paying up.

She _might_ have bought her own story, too, if her breasts hadn’t become so fucking sensitive as well. She’d been passing it off as PMS. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d felt the dull ache in the days leading up to her period, even if the sensitivity seemed a little extreme this month. _Everything_ seemed to bother them, from the water pressure when she showered to putting on her bra. She’d found herself trying on two or three different ones some days, just in hopes of finding one she could stand to wear for the day. Still, in hopes that she was just imagining all of this, she carefully prodded at one, hoping the soreness would have magically disappeared. She winced. It hadn’t.

Vera made a detour to a pharmacy far enough off campus to hopefully avoid recognizing anyone. Facing the selection of pregnancy tests, she suddenly felt like she was fifteen again. She’d been alone that time too, desperately hoping for an answer she wouldn’t receive. This whole situation felt all too familiar, even though she tried to tell herself it wasn’t. The moment someone turned down the same aisle, she knew she couldn’t do it. Not alone. Not this time. She turned and walked back out without buying a thing.

By the time she made it back to campus, she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself it was _not_ morning sickness, that it didn’t happen like that, the urge to run to the bathroom and vomit nearly overtook her on the walk down to her office. And damn it if it didn’t feel like everyone’s eyes were on her. Even if people _were_ watching her, it didn’t mean they knew. She walked into her office and shut the door. A to-go bag with her lunch sat on her desk, along with a brief note. Vera shoved it to the side and sank into her chair. She _couldn’t_ be pregnant. She just couldn’t.

Vera wasn’t a crier. Too much had happened, she’d had too much practice bottling everything up inside, but she already knew she’d be crying when she tried to explain this to Hamish. Just like she’d cried twenty-two years ago when she’d told the same thing to her parents. Telling her parents had been horrible and embarrassing and had completely devastated her, devastated the relationship she’d had with them. The thought of telling Hamish scared her more.

Hamish had _asked_ her about taking birth control. He’d been concerned enough about the possibility of fatherhood, of bringing a baby into this dangerous, unconventional life, that he had wanted to be sure they were safe. And she’d dismissed him. After all, if it hadn’t happened in twenty-one years, what was the chance it would happen now, when she was nearing forty? Wasn’t it supposed to get _harder_ to get pregnant the older you got?

Hamish was supposed to be taking her out to dinner, for one of those weekly date nights he’d talked her into. Vera almost wanted to text him and cancel. She wasn’t sure she could force down enough of anything to avoid suspicion, not without risking a trip to the bathroom to throw it all back up. Except it really was the perfect opportunity. Hamish was always extra sweet when he was forcing her out into public and it made him happy. She could make herself sit through an hour or two of dinner, and then she could gently break the potential news to him afterwards, so they could stop for a test on the way home.

_Ugh._ Vera stood up and started pacing again. Damn it, she didn’t want to face this. She didn’t want to see the look on his face when she told him. She knew Hamish would have been an amazing father, if life hadn’t gotten in the way. She knew that, like her, he now viewed the world with an honest morbidity. He didn’t expect to live to a ripe old age. She wasn’t sure he expected to live to see thirty. But these weren’t the same Knights he had first joined. They stood a chance now. They could survive. Thrive even. And Hamish needed to survive, because he needed to be there to raise their baby, because Vera knew she wouldn’t be. She’d made sure of that years ago, when she’d thought she’d never have anything to live for and performed the Fors Factorum. And that was the worst part, the biggest part, keeping her from just getting the test and confirming what she already suspected. It was the idea that she was never meant to see her babies grow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I left you there. I had to break Vera's pov into two. Just the rough note section, which is usually only a few paragraphs long, was 2000 words. So you'll get the Vera/Hamish discussion in the next chapter.
> 
> And if anything seems familiar, I am reusing at least parts of the backstories I've mentioned in a couple other stories (which don't fit in this world and don't need to be read!), simply because I wrote those before I decided to write this and those backstories are so stuck in my head I couldn't let them go.


	27. The Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eegh, I think I reread this one more than any chapter so far. Hopefully I got the emotions to come across right.

She and Hamish had driven together that morning, with a plan to meet at her car once she was finished for the day. Vera had texted him with shaky fingers as she walked out of the administration building. She had plotted out the entire night in her mind already, had gone over it a million times until she was sure she could go through the steps without thought. She’d act normal, she _could_ act normal. She’d feign a lack of appetite, citing her impromptu lunch with the girls from her office as an excuse, and choose something light that she could force herself to pick at without risk of immediately throwing it back up. And when they left…she’d find a way to tell him.

Vera’s life had never gone according to plan. Hamish walked up, carefree and completely oblivious to the bombshell she was carrying. He smiled at her, and just like that, her resolve broke. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Hamish stopped abruptly. “What?” he asked, startled.

Vera took a breath, holding his gaze. As much as she wanted to shrink back, she needed the support she always found in those blue eyes as well. Even when he was uncertain, he was always right there with her and she needed to know she wasn’t going into this alone again. She needed to know she’d have a partner this time. She needed to know this baby would have its father. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just say it like that,” she told him, forcing her voice to remain steady.

Hamish kept staring at her. “No, it’s-, it’s fine. I just, I wasn’t expecting that.” And while he was definitely caught off guard by her announcement, something about his reaction seemed…off.

Vera narrowed her eyes, taking him in. He was tense, sure, but that flash of shock had disappeared as quickly as it had come. She didn’t see any signs of that initial panic he should have been feeling at the unexpected news of a possible child. “…you aren’t surprised, are you?” she realized.

Hamish glanced down, breaking their eye contact. “I can smell it,” he said quietly.

Vera shot him a disbelieving look. “You can _smell_ it? And you just happen to know what pregnancy smells like?” And then another memory surfaced, of him telling her they were _safe._ Werewolf thing, he’d called it. And she’d trusted him. “Were you _trying_ to get me pregnant?” she hissed, everything she’d thought she’d known suddenly twisting on its head.

“What? No! Why would you even think-”

“Let me see. You asked me about my _birth control,_ tell me we _don’t_ need a condom, and the next thing I know, _I’m pregnant,”_ she hissed. “And you certainly don’t seem as upset about the whole thing as I am!”

Hamish’s eyes were wide and panicked for the first time. “I wasn’t-, it wasn’t me. It was Tundra. He-”

Vera cut him off. “You’re blaming a magical _wolf_ _hide_ now? Am I having puppies then?” she sneered. She turned away from him, needing to wrap her head around this. She couldn’t believe it. She’d thought he understood her. He’d experienced loss of his own, how the pain of it could cause someone to completely wall themselves off from others, how hard it was to move on from that pain and let people in again. He _knew_ how she felt about her daughter and he’d just…taken away her choice in the matter. He’d done this on purpose.

“Not like that…” Hamish said softly.

Pursing her lips, she looked back. “Oh?”

Hamish opened his mouth but nothing came out. He looked down. “Right after you moved in-”

“I didn’t move in,” Vera argued.

Hamish looked at her pleadingly. She crossed her arms but kept her mouth shut this time. “Right after that, I noticed he was sort of…encouraging me-”

“To have sex?” she asked, her mind flashing back to that awkward morning during a training session with Miss Bathory.

He nodded. “Just with you,” he hurried to add, as if he was afraid she might think there were others. Vera rolled her eyes. She’d rarely been out of his sight for months. She knew he hadn’t been with other women. “It, uh, it reached a point where he seemed to really be pushing it, and then it just stopped. Randall thought maybe you were…fertile,” he said awkwardly.

Vera drew back. _“Randall? Randall_ knew about this?” She clenched her teeth for a second, looking away and then back at him. “I will come back to that later, but if you knew this was a possibility, _why_ wouldn’t you tell me? I think I had a right to know.”

“I was afraid you’d push me away,” he admitted softly. “And I thought I had it handled.”

Vera gave a bitter laugh. “Clearly not.” She could see the guilt on his face now and she knew this was the truth. He hadn’t done this on purpose, but that didn’t make him blameless and she was having a hard time feeling anything other than anger.

Hamish looked down guiltily. “I did try. I even slept downstairs when Tundra was showing interest this time.”

Vera remembered that night. She hadn’t known it had been on purpose. And if she remembered correctly, he’d royally pissed her off over something the next day as well. Still, it hadn’t been enough. If he’d just told her, she could have taken the birth control suggestion more seriously. “And yet here we are,” she grumbled.

“I think Tundra set us up.”

Vera scoffed. “My god, you’re really trying to avoid the blame here.”

“We think he convinced me to focus on the wrong days of the month. The days he was interested were so obvious, I just took his word on it. I-, I’d been trying to track it myself, and looking back I think I might have recognized it, but I wasn’t sure enough so I trusted his judgement without thinking.”

Vera just stared at him in disbelief.

Hamish shifted uncomfortably. “What?” he asked carefully.

Vera arched a brow. _“We?”_ She was _really_ hoping she was just being bitchy and overthinking things, and that he hadn’t told someone before he’d even told her. From the way his expression was starting to fall, it hadn’t been that kind of mistake. “You’re fucking kidding me,” she hissed. “Who knows about this?” She could take a pretty good guess.

Hamish glanced down. “Randall figured it out when we went by the Den this weekend,” he admitted.

She huffed. Well, at least that explained his sudden interest in hugging her. And knowing the way those damned wolves worked, that meant she was actually the last one to know. “Wonderful.”

In the silence that followed, the fact that they were still standing in the parking lot seemed to suddenly occur to both of them. Hamish shifted uncomfortably and glanced at the car. “Maybe it’d be best if we went home to talk,” he suggested.

Vera wasn’t eager to be stuck in a car with him, where there was no option to walk away. Part of her wanted to send him back to the Den until she’d had a chance to decide how she felt about all of this, but she also knew that once the flash of anger dwindled and night set in, she wouldn’t want to be alone. She tossed her keys at him and walked around to the passenger side, waving him off when he tried to hurry ahead to get the door. She wasn’t in the mood for gentlemanly gestures.

It wasn’t until they were both seated in the car and the quiet had settled over them, both of them making an unspoken agreement not to speak yet, that it fully sunk in. She was pregnant. There was no need to stop for a test. She didn’t have to wait anxiously for the results. It was already confirmed. She was going to have another baby. She could feel her hands beginning to quiver and gripped her pants in an attempt to still them before Hamish noticed.

But of course, he noticed anyways. “Vera…”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, closing her eyes so she didn’t have to see the concern in his.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Well, I’m pregnant so…” Then she huffed, trying to reel herself back in. It was a simple question. One she might have appreciated, if she wasn’t so mad at him. “I’m fine. It’s early yet,” she said shortly.

“You’ve been tired lately,” Hamish said softly.

She sighed heavily. “And my boobs are officially off-limits until further notice. But, really, otherwise I’m fine.”

“No nausea?”

Vera opened one eye and peered over at him. He kept looking over at her, concern evident on his face. “It’s still early,” she said again, slightly gritting her teeth. “And please, watch the road. I’d rather you didn’t accidently kill us all.”

He focused back on the road, keeping his mouth shut and only stealing occasional glances her way. Vera let her eyes close again, breathing in and out deep and slow. A baby. Why was she even surprised? Her whole life had been one bad joke after another.

The initial surge of anger had dwindled down to more of a simmering annoyance by the time Hamish pulled the car into the driveway, allowing some of her previous worries to come creeping back. The conversation wasn’t going to be any easier, just because Hamish had already been aware of the baby.

Hamish glanced over at her once he’d turned off the car. She sighed and didn’t make an effort to move, and a moment later he was rushing around to her door. She didn’t take his hand, but she also didn’t shrug it off when he set a hand on her lower back to guide her inside. She could feel his hand begin rubbing small circles and she almost leaned into him, but she caught herself before she let herself get that comfortable. He flicked on the lights inside the doorway and then escorted her over to the couch. When she sunk down onto it, he remained standing.

“Do you need anything?”

“A drink,” she muttered, but they both knew he wouldn’t be getting her one. With a heavy sigh, she said, “Just sit down.”

He did, his hand immediately reaching for her back again. “Can I ask what you’re thinking?”

“That I should have castrated you when I had the chance,” she muttered, not entirely joking.

“I am sorry,” he said quietly.

“You know I don’t particularly care for apologies. They can’t change the past.”

“But it’s better than not saying anything.”

“Yes, well…” Vera said tightly, ready to change the subject to something more beneficial. “Seeing as I’m still pregnant, maybe it’d be best to focus on what we intend to do about it, rather than apologizing over how it came about.”

Hamish’s hand stilled against her back. “You do want to have it, right?” he asked, sounding almost scared of her response.

Vera shot him an exasperated look. “Yes, we’re doing this,” she told him.

_Want_ might have been too strong of a word, but this baby was hers now. Just like last time, when her parents had tried to convince her to give the baby up. She’d only been fifteen but it didn’t matter. That baby had been _hers._ It was no different this time. It didn’t matter that she had never planned on having any more children. It didn’t matter that she would have said no, if she’d been given a choice. It didn’t matter that she was scared to death, that just the idea of loving someone that much again completely terrified her. It didn’t even matter that her time with her baby would be limited. It was too late for those thoughts now and there was nothing she could do to take it back.

Hamish let out a relieved breath and Vera quirked a small smile. “You want this,” she said.

Hamish blinked, looking startled by the simple comment. “I…”

She sighed and let herself scoot closer to him. “You _can_ be scared shitless and want this at the same time,” she told him.

Hamish’s hand restarted its small circles but his eyes were locked blankly on some spot ahead. “I don’t-, I didn’t. I swore to myself after I became a Knight that I wouldn’t bring a child into this. My life’s too uncertain. I’m too-…I thought it would be selfish and…” He didn’t seem to know what to say.

Vera leaned into him. “And then suddenly it’s not just this abstract idea of _a_ baby, it’s become _this_ baby. And you realize that while you didn’t want _a_ baby, the idea of not having this one is worse.” She knew the feeling. She’d been there twice now.

Hamish nodded. “Yeah, I…I’ve been thinking of this as a sure thing. It didn’t occur to me that you could still say no.”

“Maybe because you knew I wouldn’t,” she said softly. He knew her better than anyone. Not just that she’d already lost one baby and that loss still haunted her, but he knew how far she’d been willing to go to protect the kids she considered her responsibility. There was never a chance she would have said no, once things were already in motion.

Hamish turned to look at her. “What are you thinking? Really.”

Vera stayed quiet for a long moment.

“Vera…” he pressed.

“I’m scared,” she said finally. Hamish’s eyes softened and he opened his mouth to comfort her but she continued before he could. “For you.”

His brow furrowed. “For me?”

Vera met his eyes and gave him a small, sad smile. “I think we both know I won’t be seeing this baby grow up.” She could see the panic already welling in his eyes and glanced down, biting back a wave of tears that finally threatened to overwhelm her. “I might get a few months, or a year or two, depending on how quickly this progresses. But I never had a lifetime still ahead of me. Not since we’ve known each other.”

“Alpha-” Hamish protested.

“Didn’t choose me,” Vera said firmly. “And we don’t know that getting my magic back would change that.”

“But it’s worth a try. We can’t just give up.”

“And we will…once the baby’s born.”

Hamish’s face fell. “But that’s-”

“All of those spells, they’re gambles. They’re risky. And I’m not going to do it.” Vera looked down, hesitantly putting a hand over her belly. “I lost my daughter and it _broke_ me. And I may not have planned on ever doing this again, but I don’t think I could lose another one, Hamish.”

Hamish watched her, his eyes silently pleading for something more, but then he nodded. “After, then.”

Vera snuggled closer, until he finally wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Nobody had to say that there wouldn’t be any more talking this night.


	28. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol. Had to figure out something to put between the last chapter and the next since it felt like something was missing. Next chapter should be posted tomorrow, unless I lose internet. Hurricane season! Fun! Not.

Hamish didn’t need to be on campus as early, so he lounged on the bed, watching Vera get ready. It wasn’t the first time he’d watched her in the mornings, wondering how this had come to be his life. Vera Stone, arguably the hardest woman in creation to get through to, was somehow his. Until recently, she’d probably have argued that point as well, but it had been true for months now.

Now, he was still watching her and wondering, with one added difference. He was no longer thinking in the present, wondering how his life had managed to reach this exact moment. For the first time in ages, he was looking forward again. And it scared the shit out of him.

Every time Vera walked past him, he couldn’t help but picture these scenes in their future. Vera, standing in front of him like she was now, only partly clothed, but with her belly growing full and round with their baby. Vera with a dark haired baby on her hip as she tried to get ready to go, or maybe he’d be the one holding the baby and they’d both be watching Mommy. A toddler playing by her feet as she put on her makeup.

As terrified as he was at the idea of being responsible for a new life, like most things, it felt manageable with Vera by his side. And she, he expected, was going to be an amazing mother. Hamish needed her to be here. Their baby was going to need Mommy to be here.

Vera kissed him, keys in hand, before stepping back and taking a steadying breath. “I expect you’ll be stopping by the Den at some point today?”

“I was planning to drop in.”

“Then make sure those idiots know not to say anything. I’d rather we didn’t chance the Order finding out just yet.” She sighed. “This whole experiment is so new, I don’t want to give them something they could try to exploit as a potential weakness.” A flash of concern must have passed over his face because she smiled knowingly. “I just mean, I don’t want them thinking I’m not at my best. I am still perfectly capable of performing my job.”

“Now that I don’t doubt,” Hamish said, leaning in to kiss her one more time before she had to go. “But I will be sure nobody says a word until you’re ready.”

As soon as she was gone, Hamish grabbed his own keys and headed out the door. Just because Vera had put a nine-month pause on any efforts to return her powers, just because she seemed to accept that her fate was already sealed, didn’t mean he had to. They had already searched every book in Vera’s collection but he still had centuries worth of journals that Vera wanted him to read anyways. He would just double down on the search. Surely someone had come across something similar at least once in the Knights’ history and could give him a place to start looking if nothing else. He had eight or so months to research and he fully intended to have a list of options ready the moment she said the word go.

“How is it that you look both better _and_ worse?” Randall asked.

Hamish rolled his eyes. “Good morning to you too. Vera says hello.”

Randall snorted, knowing Hamish was adding that part in himself. “So how did dinner go? Did you chicken out again?”

“We ended up not go-” “Oh shit!” Randall guessed, laughing. “Did Mommy figure it out then?”

Hamish shot him a look but didn’t bother correcting him. Especially seeing as _he_ had been calling her the same thing in his head all morning. “Yes,” he admitted with a sigh. _You were right,_ he added mentally. “I _was_ planning on telling her, actually. She just beat me to it. But it’s all out in the open now. Tundra and everything.”

“How’d she take it? You look like you made it out in one piece, at least.”

Hamish shrugged. A good bit of that answer wasn’t any of Randall’s business. Vera’s fears weren’t his to share. Neither was the fact that this wasn’t Vera’s first pregnancy. He suspected Randall was mostly interested in how badly she’d threatened him anyways though. “She’s not thrilled but she’s taking it better than I did, I think. At least, she knew right away that she wants this baby.”

Randall looked surprised. “Really? So what you’re saying is, you were stressing for no reason when you refused to tell her about Tundra’s plan.”

“I don’t know,” Hamish said. “She was also pretty clear that this isn’t something she wanted. And yes, she was furious when I told her I knew,” he added, knowing Randall would be asking.

“Good. You know, I should be pissed at you too. Gabby’s been acting like I might try to trick her into being next. Do you know she actually accused me of having too much interest last night? I was afraid I was going to be the next one sleeping downstairs.”

Hamish couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sorry, man.”

Randall sighed. “She’ll get over it…right?”

He couldn’t say. Gabrielle seemed the type to hold onto something if she chose to. Hamish clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past. “Sure,” he said, noncommittedly. “Also, Vera wanted me to be sure you knew not to mention anything about her pregnancy to _anyone_ just yet. In house only.”

Randall looked over his shoulder. “Afraid it would ruin her cold-hearted bitch persona?”

Hamish was still close enough to turn around and slap him, but he just gave him a flat look instead. “Concerned that the Order will try to pull something if they think she’s distracted.”

Randall crinkled his nose. “Yeah, maybe we should try to avoid that,” he agreed. “I take it this is one of those don’t-mention-around-Nicole things too?”

Hamish nodded. “Probably so. Mind letting the others know too?”

“On it.”

Wednesdays were often his latest night. Aside from being an already late class, Professor Krowchuk often scheduled tests and assignments to be turned in for Fridays, which meant Wednesdays were full of the last minute scurrying of undergrads to prepare, and as their TA, it meant Hamish felt the need to stay behind and help where he could. Vera had been staying late with him, having enough paperwork to catch up on herself that she didn’t mind staying behind until he was finished. This time, he walked out of class to find a text saying that she’d already headed home.

Hamish got home and found Vera sitting cross-legged on the couch, laptop in front of her. She’d already changed into one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts and her hair was twisted up on top of her head in a messy bun. It was a look he’d come to think of as her research look.

“Hi,” she greeted, glancing up before returning her attention to the screen just as quickly.

Hamish walked over and peeked at what she was working on. The first thing that jumped out at him was the silhouette of a pregnant woman in the upper corner of the screen. “What are you doing?” he asked curiously.

She looked up at him again and gave a short huff. “Research,” she said simply, before looking back at the screen. Because of course Vera would be the type to want to know _everything_ and he shouldn’t be surprised that she’d already dived right in. “I am behind the ball here,” she muttered distractedly.

Hamish glanced down. “Sorry.”

“Your apologies have been noted,” she clipped.

“Vera…”

“Hamish,” she echoed without looking up. “I understand, but words don’t do me much good right now.”

“Have you eaten?” he asked, wanting to feel useful in some way.

“Yes,” she said shortly. After a moment, she looked up at him and gave a tiny smile. “I could use a pillow though,” she suggested, arching a brow.

Hamish laughed and sat down, positioning himself so that she could then resettle herself between his legs. A minute later, she was resting against his chest with his arms wrapped around her middle and her laptop open on her lap. Not for the first time, the reality of the situation hit him as images and words slowly scrolled past on the screen. For an instant, his breath caught in his throat, but then Vera entwined her hand with his. He pressed his lips to the side of her head. They could do this. Together.


	29. Maternal

Vera hadn’t wanted to go in the first place, not that she intended to tell Hamish that. When he had yet to call in any of the overnights that she’d agreed to, the least she could do was spend a few measly hours at the Den on weekends. Besides, if she was expected to maintain a level of responsibility for their actions, she couldn’t very well avoid them. It was just…she wished she’d had a few more weeks to adjust before her personal life and her more public one began overlapping.

The fact that Hamish was sure to have warned them to stay quiet didn’t matter. Vera had first hand knowledge of the fact that people didn’t need to say a word. She’d already lived it once before. The awkward exchanges, the loaded glances when they thought she wasn’t looking, the whispering that went on every time she left the room. She didn’t have to be sixteen anymore to recognize that people were going to talk.

Vera knew she didn’t have a reputation as a maternal person. It wasn’t something that typically bothered her. She didn’t need to be likeable to do her job, if anything that made things harder. The students and her coworkers could fear her or hate her. They could make comments behind her back, or even to her face. They could even doubt her ideas and goals from time to time. But it was the idea that they were going to doubt her abilities as a mother, that they were going to pity this child for being stuck with her as its mother, that sent her right back to that feeling of being sixteen again, of having everyone doubt her and then beginning to doubt herself because of it.

It would be so much easier if she could just keep it to herself, the way she’d kept Hamish to herself for months. It had been simpler then, with no one to comment, no one to pass judgement or otherwise spoil that tiny speck of contentment she’d found. Except a pregnancy wouldn’t be easy for her to hide, and Hamish was going to need a support system bigger than just her. Hamish needed his pack, the family he’d created for himself, and she suspected she was going to need something from them as well.

Vera never thought she’d be spending a day watching four college kids, including Hamish, battle it out in foosball. For hours. She’d grabbed a book and a chair when the competition had first begun, with Lilith and Jack teaming up against Hamish and Randall, but it soon proved far too disruptive to concentrate.

“Do they do this often?” she asked Gabrielle when the girl came downstairs and took the seat beside her. In the month she’d spent with them, she couldn’t remember a game getting quite so enthusiastic.

“They didn’t,” Gabrielle said flatly, her gaze locked on Lilith.

Vera nodded, understanding. Of course, Lilith Bathory would be the competitive one. Still…

Gabrielle sighed. “It’s been raining for a few days. Randall gets antsy when he’s stuck inside.” And that would be the second part of the puzzle. Put Randall and Lilith together and you get…

“Take that, suckers!” Lilith whooped, high fiving Jack.

“Oh, come on,” Randall whined. “That’s not fair.”

“Not my fault you suck,” Lilith told him.

“Then let’s trade partners,” Randall said. “I want Jack. Hamish is distracted by his baby mama.”

Vera cringed instantly, shutting her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Hamish was staring at her, wide eyed.

“Randall, no,” Hamish chastised, turning back to his foosball partner.

“I don’t want him then,” Lilith continued arguing, as if she hadn’t heard.

“Then me and you against Jack and Papa Wolf.”

“Randall!” Hamish snapped.

Lilith rolled her eyes. “Oh, knock it off. We all know you knocked her up. Big whoop. You shouldn’t have screwed her without protection if you’re going to act embarrassed about it. Now are we playing or not?”

Vera’s cheeks were already burning. Hamish had seriously shared _that_ with them?

“Vera,” Hamish called, sounding guilty.

She was already halfway out the door.

She didn’t go far. There was no point. She couldn’t run from this, and in any case, the keys were still inside and they’d driven together. She just needed a minute to regroup. Hopefully by then, Hamish would have already gotten a head start on lecturing his friends on appropriate commentary.

Only a minute or two later, the door opened behind her. She glanced up, ready to tell Hamish she was fine, only to see Jack standing there instead.

“He didn’t need to send you to check up on me. I’m not going anywhere,” she said, wiping impatiently at a few tears that hadn’t yet fallen.

“He didn’t,” Jack said, sinking down onto the step beside her.

“Well then, I’m fine, Mr. Morton.” _You can leave now._

Jack gave her an amused look. “You _can_ call me Jack, you know?”

Vera rolled her eyes. “That would be inappropriate, _Mr. Morton._ You’re a student. I’m…well, I suppose I’m still Chancellor.”

“You don’t call Hamish, Mr. Duke,” he pointed out.

Vera glanced away. “Yes,” she muttered. “And look how that turned out.”

He snorted. “How does that equal…” he trailed off, eyeing her stomach.

Vera huffed. She’d simply meant that she cared for Hamish Duke, something she hadn’t allowed herself to do in…far too many years. That was at least partly to blame for how she’d handled the Kepler situation. It hadn’t been Randall she’d wanted to protect. And she trusted him, far more than she usually would have. And yes, she did sort of blame that level of trust for her current predicament. But Jack continued before she had to figure out how to put that into words.

“Look, I know it may not feel that way yet but you _are_ part of the pack. You were always one of us, since that first day you came to the Den to help us take down my father. You never fit in at the Order.”

Vera gave him a disbelieving look. “I was the fucking Grand Magus.”

“But it was always just you. Before the Knights, did you ever have any allies there? Even one?”

He was closer to the truth than she wanted to admit, so she didn’t answer.

Jack nodded, knowing he was right. “We’re a family here. We’re not like the Order.” He gave a small chuckle. “Randall already calls you Mommy Vera.”

Vera rolled her eyes but let out a heavy breath, glancing away.

Jack winced. “Right. Sorry.” He was quiet for a moment but she could see he was debating whether to say something else.

“Just say it,” she sighed.

“Are you okay? With…everything?”

Vera let out a slow breath. “I am pregnant, Mr. Morton. Avoiding the word won’t make it any less real.” Vera looked down and pressed her lips together as she gathered her thoughts. “I’m…confused, I suppose,” she said slowly. “After my daughter, I gave up any plans for having a family. It’s…a bit alarming to find myself here again, at this stage in my life.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’ll be a good mom.”

Vera looked away. She wouldn’t even have the chance to find out. Whether she had a few months or a few years, all this baby would have of her were stories. She wasn’t prepared to admit that to anyone else though. Hamish knew and that was enough for now. “Thank you…Jack,” she said softly.

“So, are you ready to come back inside?”

Vera gave him an unenthusiastic look.

Jack grinned. “I mean, we all might be giving Hamish hell about this whole baby thing, but no one actually has a problem with it. Hell, they were getting drunk and celebrating when they told me.” Before Vera could comment that perhaps _getting drunk_ were the key words in that sentence, Jack looked down, his face darkening. “One of us should get some semblance of a normal life and a happily ever after. After everything he’s been through, I’m glad it’s Hamish.”

Vera arched a brow. “Normal? Happily ever after? Have you been drinking?” she teased gently.

Jack gave her another, smaller smile. “You know what I mean.”

She did. Vera glanced down. “I am sorry about Miss Drake,” she said softly. There was…so much she regretted about that particular situation.

“Alyssa,” Jack corrected.

“I can’t,” Vera whispered.

“Why not? She’s dead now. I don’t think propriety matters anymore,” he asked darkly.

Vera’s mouth opened and then closed as she debated. She’d told Hamish, once, but that was it. The memory of his wide-eyed response made up her mind. “Because they’re both dead now,” she finally said. “Miss Drake…and my daughter.”

Jack’s mouth parted as he understood. “Her name was Alyssa…”

Vera nodded. She didn’t even bother to wipe away the tear that escaped.

“Was that why you-”

“I couldn’t be around her,” Vera admitted slowly. Her eyes shut.

Maybe so much could have gone differently if only she’d pushed past her own pain and allowed herself to mentor Alyssa Drake, the way the girl had so obviously desired. But she hadn’t been able to. She hadn’t been able to look at this girl, bearing the same name and _so_ close in age to her own daughter. In Alyssa Drake, Vera saw everything her daughter had never had the chance to become. And so she’d pushed against her, right from the first day, tried to discourage any thoughts of seeking her out in any way. And Miss Drake had kept coming, no matter how hard Vera pushed, no matter how cruel her comments, until finally she’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. Alyssa Drake had lost interest in pursuing a mentorship relationship with her…and had run to their enemy instead. It had all been Vera’s fault…both of their deaths had been her fault.

Vera didn’t even notice her hand slipping down to rest against her lower belly until Jack spoke up again. “It won’t be the same, you know? This baby and your Alyssa…they may be siblings, and it may bring up old memories, but they’ll be different too.”

Vera tried to breathe out but it came out more ragged than she wanted. She gave a weak, bitter laugh before wiping at her eyes, pressing her lips into a forced smile. “Let’s go inside. Before you say anything to make me start sobbing.”

“Sorry,” Jack said, unapologetically.

“Hormones,” Vera muttered, even though it wasn’t really the truth.

“Pregnant Vera is going to be fun, isn’t she?” Jack laughed.

Vera eyed him, slightly less amused. Jack stood up and offered her a hand. Vera started to deny the assistance before giving in. In a few months, she would probably appreciate the help getting up. She might as well get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So her daughter's name is something I'd touched on in a different story too. Alyssa just fits to me. Vera's response to Alyssa has been so over the top, she's been called on it several times in the show, with Alyssa even stating that Vera's hated her from the very beginning. I feel like there's got to be some reason behind Vera pushing against her so so hard, when (at first) all Alyssa wanted was a mentor. I've tried to catch it when I rewatched the show, and I'm pretty sure there's only one time when Vera says Alyssa without adding Drake, and it's right before she drinks the mind juice from the Prometheans, and then her daughter's cry is the first sound that pops up (I am probably way overthinking that scene too. lol)


	30. Seven Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you for everyone that's commented. I very much appreciate it. I've got the next several chapters mapped out, I just need the time to sit down and type them up. Weather's finally getting cooler though, so I may be a couple extra days between chapters. I postpone so much outside work when its hot and humid, I'll be playing catch up all fall! We'll see how motivated I am when I get a moment to sit down.

After the initial madness of suspecting Vera was pregnant, then confirming and coming to terms with it, everything seemed to slow down. Other than picking up a bottle of prenatal vitamins and three separate books on pregnancy that she was working her way through simultaneously, nothing seemed to have changed.

Hamish didn’t know what he expected. Maybe it was just that Vera’s pregnancy had felt so life-altering, he’d expected the rest of the world to consider it as big a deal as he had. Maybe he was expecting to immediately be rushed into a doctor’s office, but while Vera had put a call in to her doctor, he was surprised to learn the appointment would still be a couple weeks away. And while Vera certainly didn’t _look_ pregnant yet, maybe he expected to see some sort of difference in her, but other than the tender breasts and desire for a midday nap that had first caught her attention, she was the same Vera he’d always known.

Life simply continued on the way it always had. They spent their days on campus – him attending and teaching classes or at the Den with the Knights, her splitting her focus between the university itself and trying to convince the new Temple Magus that he didn’t need to approve _every_ action of the Order through her first. Some days they would have lunch together, always behind the closed doors of her office, but he still felt the curious eyes on him as he walked through the building each day. In the evenings, they’d go home and either she would cook or they’d order take-out before curling up on the couch with either a book or some paperwork one or the other had to complete. Weekends still included time at the Den, sometimes magic lessons, sometimes just hanging out and catching up. And all the while, the pregnancy just lingered there in the background, more as an always present scent he could detect than anything obvious.

So naturally, just as he’d gotten comfortable with their life going on as normal and the idea of a baby always staying somewhere in the background, it changed again.

The last thing Hamish expected was to find Vera waiting for him outside his classroom. He immediately glanced at his watch but it only confirmed that he wasn’t running late.

“I was getting impatient,” Vera spoke up, the corner of her mouth quirking up. There was a somewhat anxious glint in her green eyes that belied her humor. He had planned to meet her outside her office building after his morning class so they could head to her first prenatal appointment together.

Hamish smiled and tried not to let his own nerves show through. “After you,” he said, gesturing with a hand. Then added on, “Chancellor.”

She gave him a funny look but they hadn’t discussed how he was supposed to treat her on campus for the time being, and with people watching them curiously as they passed, he was erring on the side of caution.

It wasn’t until they’d gotten outside and away from the crowd of students gathered in the hallways that Vera said anything. “Chancellor?”

He chuckled. “I wasn’t sure how you wanted to play it for now and we had witnesses.”

Vera huffed, considering it. “PDA to a minimum, but familiarity is fine,” she decided, keeping her voice low. “I can’t expect you to not ever mention having a child, and I’ll be showing by the start of the fall term. Pretending we aren’t seeing one another is just postponing the inevitable.”

Hamish smiled and nodded. “I can do that.” He glanced down at her hand. She was walking close enough that he could easily reach down and slip his hand into hers, but he resisted the urge. Vera followed his gaze and, for a second, her hand twitched and he wondered if she’d close that gap between them, but then she crossed her arms, her steps getting just a tad quicker. She wasn’t there just yet but she was thinking about it.

The drive to the clinic seemed to be taking an eternity, before they even left campus. Hamish was thankful Vera was driving. His foot kept tapping nervously and Vera seemed far more composed than him. She had warned him not to expect too much this time, but even so, she’d been the one to ask him to come with her.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Vera said suddenly, never taking her eyes off the road.

Hamish looked at her expectantly, thankful to have anything else to distract his mind. “Okay?”

“There’s a sheet of paper in my purse. An incantation, actually.” She glanced over at him, her expression carefully shielded. “I need you to study it.”

Hamish was already frowning but he gestured at her purse, asking permission. At her nod, he picked it up and opened it. The paper was resting right on top. “What is it?” he asked, scanning it.

Vera glanced at him again, her lips pressed tightly together.

“This is…” He tried to make sense of the words on the page. It was an alteration spell. And not just for people’s memories.

“They’ll want to do bloodwork. Mine…won’t be within normal ranges.” She focused intently on the road, refusing to give him the slightest eye contact. “I’ve been keeping the original reports, and then changing them in their system. I’m not doing the tests they want. The constant bloodwork, and the scans, and the poking and prodding. I already know the answer, and they wouldn’t be able to find it with their tests anyways.”

“You’re already sick…” Hamish realized, his heart plummeting.

Finally, Vera looked at him. “I’m _fine._ It’s nothing extreme. The biggest problem is anemia. Supplements have helped, and I’ll be keeping a close eye on it. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m only telling you because I can’t do the incantation myself.”

He believed her, and that was what scared him the most. How much was she willing to keep from him, until she couldn’t anymore? He didn’t try to argue though. He just memorized the words on the page, because Vera was also right – it wouldn’t do them any good to get doctors involved in a magical illness.

Vera’s OBGYN worked out of a small practice, in a surprising small clinic. There were a couple other women in the waiting room but Hamish was the only man. He would have felt uncomfortable, if it weren’t for the fact that the moment they walked in the door, Vera had become noticeably tense and on edge. Hamish reached over and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. Vera looked up, seeming startled by the sudden contact, but didn’t pull away.

She was still gripping his hand when the nurse called her name and she stood, her grip tightening slightly until he finished standing as well.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, giving her hand a quick squeeze before pulling away. He immediately set his hand on her lower back instead and kept it there as he followed her through the door.

The nurse was perky and polite as she led them down the hall to an exam room, pausing briefly to get Vera’s weight when they passed the scale, before moving on without a word.

“Doctor Jenkins will be with you shortly,” the nurse said, closing the door behind her.

Hamish looked at Vera. She was sitting on the exam table, her foot jigging slightly. “Are you nervous?” he asked, stepping up so he could take her hand again.

Vera gave him a small, brief smile. “I just hate being here.”

“Your doctor-”

“Is the exact opposite of the woman I had to see when I was pregnant the first time.” She didn’t need to say more, but she looked down and bit her lip before meeting his eyes. “I wasn’t given a choice in doctors then. It never occurred to me that I _could_ demand to see someone different.” She glanced down again. “Every appointment, I felt like I wanted to sink into the ground and just die. And every year since then, I remember that feeling and dread walking in here.”

Hamish squeezed her hand. “You’re not sixteen this time. And I’m here.”

Vera looked at him, almost amused. “No. Apparently, I skipped from teen mom to _geriatric.”_ She’d seen the term used for women over thirty-five during her weeks researching. Hamish had been horrified, assuring her she wasn’t _old._ After the initial shock and insult, she’d shrugged it off. He hadn’t.

“Vera…” he scolded her gently, more because he knew she was teasing him than any attempt to convince her she wasn’t old.

She smiled at him, the expression coming a little easier than it would have moments earlier. “Thank you for coming with me,” she whispered.

A knock on the door interrupted before Hamish could respond, and then the door opened. Dr. Jenkins was an older gentleman, with an easy smile and laugh lines around his eyes. He was grinning when he walked into the room. “Vera. I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.”

Vera let out a nervous laugh. “Neither was I,” she told him.

The doctor turned to Hamish then, extending a hand. “And you must be the young man she mentioned last time?”

Hamish looked at Vera, amused. He wasn’t sure when exactly her annual exam was, but it had to have been months earlier and the fact that she’d mentioned him at all pleasantly surprised him. “Hamish Duke,” he said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

Vera huffed, her cheeks tinting pink. “Don’t get cocky. All I said was I was sexually active at the time and only had one partner.”

Hamish’s grin didn’t drop. Her doctor just chuckled and pulled his stool around to sit in front of them. He flipped open the folder he’d been carrying.

“Alright, you two. So today is just about getting a starting point. We’ll do some bloodwork, go over your history and any questions you’ve got, and then I’ll have the tech come in and we’ll get a look at this baby.”

Hamish instantly felt his heart leap into his throat. From the way Vera gripped his hand suddenly, she wasn’t expected to get to see their baby just yet either.

Vera slowly relaxed as they talked, though her hand never let go of his. Her doctor was thorough, but quick to crack jokes. At first glance, he didn’t seem like the sort of doctor someone like Vera would prefer, but knowing her history now, it fit. This wasn’t the type of doctor to ever make someone feel guilty about their choices. Even when Vera admitted that she often drank heavily, before realizing she was pregnant, Dr. Jenkins was gentle enough to prevent her guard from going back up.

And then finally, it was time. Dr. Jenkins left the room so that Vera could change into the pale, blue gown. Without her hand to keep him grounded, Hamish found himself pacing the tiny space beside the table while he waited.

“You didn’t tell me you’d been feeling sick,” Hamish said, trying to keep his mind occupied, and that had been a surprising revelation during the doctor’s questioning.

Vera glanced at him as she slipped into the gown. “I’m pregnant. It comes with the territory.”

“I know, but I could have been there for you, at least.”

She snorted, amused. “And you’ll still get to. It hasn’t been that bad so far. I feel a little nauseated at times but I’ve only actually thrown up a couple times, and I wasn’t going to wake you up for that.”

“Will you at least let me know if you’re ever not feeling up to doing something?” he asked. He knew Vera was the type who’d try to push through anyways, if she thought she had somewhere she needed to be or something she needed to do.

Vera nodded. “I will let you know,” she agreed, her tone saying she clearly thought he was overreacting. She hopped up onto the table with a huff and reached out a hand. “You ready?” she asked.

He grasped her hand. “Not at all.”

It was a few more minutes before Dr. Jenkins returned, this time with a younger woman. After talking Vera through the process, it was time. Vera’s nails were digging into his hand, she was squeezing so tightly, but Hamish couldn’t look away from the screen. At first, it just seemed to be a blur of indecipherable shades of grey.

Then the doctor pointed to a little smudge on the screen. “And here’s Baby Stone.”

Hamish felt his heart leap into his throat.

“Baby Duke,” Vera whispered, her voice raspy. Hamish looked over at her and she gave him a small nod. He squeezed her hand, not sure he could find any words in the moment.

“Let’s see if we can pick up that heartbeat yet,” the doctor said.

And then the tech hit a button and a whooshing sound filled the room, beating in time to the flickering heart on the screen, and Hamish felt himself choking up. When he looked down at Vera again, tears were running down her cheeks. He wiped at his own cheeks and found they were wet as well. That little smudge on the screen wasn’t much to look at yet, but it was his. His and Vera’s.

Even after it was over, after they’d returned to Vera’s car, Hamish couldn’t get the picture out of his head. He kept looking over at Vera’s still flat belly, trying to make sense of it. That little smudge on the screen with a heartbeat was actually in there, still too tiny for anyone to notice just yet, but growing and getting bigger by the day until he or she would finally be ready to join them out in the world. That was his son or daughter.

Vera reached over and took his hand again. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“Do we have to go back to campus?”

She laughed. “Yes. I’ve still got work to do. You’ve still got class.”

Hamish sighed, giving her a lopsided smile.

Still, Hamish rushed out as soon as class was over. He’d make it up to his students another day. The picture printout of the ultrasound was burning a hole in his wallet and he just wanted to be home with Vera.

Vera had already started cooking when he arrived and he had to resist the urge to scoop her up right then. From the way she kept smirking at him, she knew what he was thinking. She kept stalling, teasing him, while she cleaned up the kitchen afterwards, until finally he couldn’t take it anymore and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and letting one hand slide down to her lower belly, to where his child was growing.

“Feels more real now?” she asked him softly.

He let out a heavy breath and nodded. “Oh yeah.” He gave a small, disbelieving laugh. “December twenty-third,” he whispered. They’d have a baby in time for Christmas.

Vera rolled her eyes, her hand covering his. “Do you realize what was five weeks ago today?” The ultrasound had seemed to suggest that Vera had conceived a couple days after their tryst in her office, dating her right at seven weeks pregnant. He shook his head. “First of April,” she told him, barely suppressing an amused smile.

Hamish barked a laugh. “Seriously?” He stroked her belly with his thumb. This was one April Fools’ Day mishap that he was starting to think he would give anything for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. When I had my calendar pulled out to work on the timeline for this, and I saw April Fools' Day was right there in the window for possible conception (most fertile days are considered a day or two before actual ovulation, with a six day window being possible), I just had to go with it. It felt very fitting for me, with all Tundra's conniving, to have it all come together on April Fools' Day.


	31. Family

“Whoa, our fearless leader has decided to grace us with his presence!” Randall cheered when Hamish walked into the Den.

“I’m here every day,” Hamish countered.

“But not in the evenings,” Lilith sided with Randall.

“Vera had to work late,” Hamish admitted.

“Wow. Way to make us feel loved,” Randall said.

Hamish laughed and dropped down on the couch beside him. “You’ll understand one day.” It wasn’t until the words left his mouth that he realized how they might be taken. He stilled, hoping nobody would jump on that. It was a conversation he wasn’t ready to have with the rest of the wolves.

Beside him, Randall had paused too.

“Vera had her first doctor’s appointment yesterday, right?” Gabrielle jumped in, saving them from the awkward silence.

Hamish let out a breath and nodded, a dopey grin already forming. “She’s definitely pregnant.”

Randall let out a laugh. “Was that in question? Because we’ve all known for like, a month.”

Gabby looked like she would have hit him if she were closer. “Leave him alone.” She turned to Hamish. “So as honorary aunts and uncles, when can we expect to meet our new niece or nephew?”

Hamish chuckled, already reaching for his wallet. “She’s due December 23rd. And I do have a picture actually.”

That caught Randall’s attention. “Ooh, let me see it.” He snatched the picture immediately.

Gabrielle got up and leaned over the back of the couch. “Aww. Look at her.”

“It might be a boy,” Hamish chuckled.

“Nope. That’s definitely my niece. I’m calling it now.”

“I’m with Hamish,” Randall said. “It’s a boy.”

Hamish opened his mouth to say that he _hadn’t_ actually guessed at the gender, only pointed out that it could be either, when Lilith walked up and looked over their shoulders.

“What are you even looking at?” she asked.

“Hamish and Vera’s baby girl,” Gabrielle said.

Lilith looked at her. “Duh. I know it’s a sonagram. Where’s the baby in it?”

Randall pointed out the little grey smudge. “He’s right here.”

Lilith stared at the picture. “It’s a blob.”

“Hey, don’t call her a blob.” Hamish shook his head, smirking. “At her next appointment, they’re going to do some more bloodwork to pre-screen for any abnormalities. If Vera wants to, we can find out the gender then.”

“Well, I vote yes. Find out,” Gabrielle said. “I need to know whether I’m shopping for dresses or little suits.”

He chuckled. He was honestly a little afraid to find out what sort of outfits they were going to be getting from Gabby. “It’s Vera’s choice, guys. Have your own baby if you want to make the calls.” He cringed as he said it. “Actually, don’t.” One baby was already more than the Knights needed at the moment.

“Yeah, I think we’re all going to pass on that,” Randall said.

Vera texted him a little while later to let him know she was finishing up, so he said goodbye and headed back to meet her at her office. Except for the sound of a vacuum somewhere on that floor, the building was quiet. Vera’s office was the only one with a light still on. He leaned against the open doorway and knocked.

Vera looked up abruptly. “That didn’t take long.”

“I was just at the Den.”

Vera snorted. “And how are they?” she asked, looking back down at whatever she’d been working on.

“Excited to meet their niece or nephew.”

She glanced up, arching a brow. “Their-“ She stopped and snorted. “At least he’ll be the safest baby in the world, with a whole pack of werewolves for aunts and uncles.”

“He?” Hamish asked, a grin already tugging at his mouth. He wasn’t expecting Vera’s expression to falter.

She glanced down, tapping a finger against the papers in front of her. “I’ve been having a lot of old memories pop back up lately,” she said quietly. She met his gaze, giving a tight smile. “I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “And I _am_ fine if it’s a girl. It’s just…easier, to not think that I’m replacing her.”

Hamish walked over to her and knelt down beside her chair. “You’ll never replace your daughter, Vera. No one’s going to think you are.”

Vera nodded. “I know. It’s just a lot.”

Hamish rubbed her shoulders and gave her a slightly mischievous smile. “It would drive the rest of the Knights crazy but I was sort of thinking it might be fun to be surprised. We only get to do this once, after all.” When Vera didn’t immediately respond, he added, “And we could always find out later, if you decide you can’t wait.”

“I hate surprises,” Vera whispered, but then she nodded. “But why not?” She gave him a tiny smile. “Just let me finish this up and we can go home.”

Hamish stood up, only to lean over her shoulder and peer down at whatever she was working on. To his surprise, it wasn’t paperwork but a greeting card lying open on the desk. “Who’s this for?”

She gave a bitter laugh, her hand unconsciously dropping to her belly. “My relationship with my parents consists of sending a card on birthdays and holidays. We might talk on the phone once or twice a year, if its something that needs to be said. I think the last time was to tell me my cousin died.” She sighed heavily. “My father’s birthday is coming up. I’m debating if I want to write ‘P.S. Alyssa’s getting a baby brother or sister. I’m due on the anniversary of her death’…I’d add a smiley face,” she added innocently when she noticed his shocked expression.

“I didn’t realize your due date-” he said, horrified.

Vera’s expression softened, growing more sad than angry. “It’s not,” she assured him. “But it’s close enough, they’d believe it if I send them a birth announcement later.”

Hamish sat down on the edge of her desk so he could face her. “You don’t really want to tell your parents like that.”

Vera gave a short laugh. “Oh, I do. But then my other line of thought is do I even want to tell them? We don’t speak. I’m not sure what the point really is.”

Hamish shrugged one shoulder. “To let them know you’re doing okay?”

Vera arched a brow. “And subtly say ‘so fuck you’ in the process?” she asked.

“If it makes you feel better,” he chuckled. He didn’t know the full story there. He knew they’d been furious when Vera had gotten pregnant as a teenager. He knew they’d sent her to live with an aunt, and that their relationship had never recovered. But he also knew that if Vera hadn’t cut ties entirely, she was still hanging onto some thread of hope that things could change. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “We don’t have to visit. We don’t even need to let them meet the baby if you don’t want them to, but I do think you should tell them. Maybe they’ll surprise you.”

Vera sighed. “Unlikely.” Still, she scribbled out a quick, **P.S. Expect a birth announcement after the holidays this year**. She closed the card and took a breath. “Good enough.”

Hamish kissed her. “I’m proud of you.”

Vera arched a brow at him with an evil grin. “Now, when are you planning to tell your parents? I expect I’ll be needing to meet them at some point?”

Hamish felt sick at the very thought. He’d done a number on his relationship with his parents as well. After Cassie had died, he had pushed everyone away. It was easier to keep them at an arm’s length, where he didn’t have to think about how his own death would hurt them. But that was when it was just himself he was denying them. That was when there weren’t going to be any grandchildren to dote on. But he couldn’t keep Vera and his child a secret from them. “This is probably something better told in person.”

“Which will be…” Vera pressed.

“They travel a lot. They should be back later this summer.”

Vera sighed and looked down. Her hand was resting over her belly again. “So they’re probably _not_ going to get the chance to meet me before learning you’re already stuck with me.”

“They’ll love you,” Hamish assured her. Admittedly, his mom would probably love anyone who could break through the wall he’d build around himself after Cassie, but he knew his dad would absolutely love Vera. She was successful, and driven, and brilliant, and everything his father could have hoped for in a match for his son.

“I’m sure,” Vera said, sounding unconvinced.

“Promise,” Hamish said. He held out a hand to help her up. “Ready to go home?”

Vera accepted his hand. “Let’s drop this in the mail on the way,” she agreed, sealing her father’s birthday card in its envelope.


	32. Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna start trying to do my thank you's at the top of the post. So thank you thank you for the comments! I love seeing who gets the tiny little things I throw in sometimes. And so amused to see what y'all are wanting the baby to be. I've had that planned from the get-go, but I like seeing what y'all are thinking. Feel free to comment your guess! Some of you will be right. lol. 
> 
> And for a hint, the Matti fans should hopefully be happy with the next chapter. Finally getting to show a bit of his and Vera's background.

Vera knew she’d been lucky so far. The morning sickness liked to creep up on her at inopportune times, but it had been manageable. Other than the time she’d nearly vomited on an undergrad who’d been wearing too much cologne, she’d been making it through her work day without any sudden mad dashes to the nearest trashcan. Evenings had proven to be the worst, when she was already tired and struggled to keep the nausea at bay, but at least then she was in her own home, with Hamish around to coddle her and force her to keep something in her stomach.

Not so luckily, with the end of the Spring semester came a multitude of ceremonies and banquets, many of which required, or at least requested, her presence, and all the additions to her schedule meant she was running on fumes. Which would be how she ended up sitting in her office, heaving into a waste basket while Hamish tried to keep her hair out of the way.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked when she laid her arm across the top of the trashcan and rested her forehead against it.

“It’s my job,” she muttered. “I have to be there.”

“We can tell them you’re sick. I’m sure they’d understand.”

Vera looked up at him miserably. “And next week’s ceremony? And the one after that? This isn’t going to be letting up any time soon, and these events were scheduled well before I got pregnant.” She sighed. “I’m fine. I just need a minute to get my stomach under control again.”

“We could go ahead and let the people that need to know, know you’re pregnant? Maybe you could cut a few of these appearances short then.”

“That’s an even worse idea. Half the Board is made up of Order members. I at least want to wait until my schedule’s less packed before I have to start arguing with them about whether I can handle this school, a baby, and keeping you idiots in check.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to think about taking some time off.”

“I don’t need you underestimating me too,” Vera scoffed.

“I’m not. I was amazed by the amount you manage to do before I realized how much it is. I’m just saying, you don’t need to think you have to do it all. The Knights’ pushed you back into this job before we knew there was going to be a baby on top of it all.”

Vera locked eyes with him. “Hamish, I made it through a pregnancy, then an infant,” her voice broke off and she took a breath, “and then her death, all before I turned seventeen, while not only maintaining my position at the top of the class, but doing enough to earn a full scholarship to one of the most elite schools in the country. I think I can handle doing _half_ the job I’ve been doing for years now.”

Hamish pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I know you can,” he said, running a hand across her shoulders. “You also managed to make it through that without needing that trash can. Think you’re ready?”

Vera sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I think I’m okay.” Hamish grabbed the bottle of sprite from the corner of her desk and handed it to her.

It was the first year Vera hadn’t attended every banquet alone and, even if she wasn’t officially introducing him as her date, just having someone standing beside her somehow made the evening more pleasant. Maybe it was all the families. All these new graduates, with their proud parents there to cheer on their success. It was something she hadn’t had in a very long time. A family wasn’t something she’d had in a very long time.

Hamish reached out and rested a hand on her lower back as he chatted easily with one of the department heads. Vera glanced up at him, but Hamish didn’t look back. He didn’t even seem aware that he’d reached for her. Showing affection came so easily for him, unlike for her. That easy affection was something she might have fought once, except she could see him now, doing the same with a little boy or girl. Hamish wouldn’t be the kind of father who made his child question his love. He’d show it a million times each day.

Vera looked down, trying to hide her smile as she saw flashes of that future. She could see Hamish with their baby in his arms, explaining some obscure philosophical theory while their baby stared up at him, just listening to the sound of his voice. She could see him sprawled out on the couch, with a little blonde toddler in pajamas and a book before bedtime. Hamish chasing a squealing child around the yard, pretending to be the big bad monster in their game. Dancing around the living room, a little girl standing on his feet.

The whole image left her with a flood of intertwining emotions. Happiness, knowing her baby would have _the_ best father possible. A sort of numb sadness, because it was a future she’d never imagined for herself and Lyss. There would never have been a father in that picture. And then a deeper sadness, because it had been her past, as well. The only difference was, she could never see Hamish turning his back on their child, no matter what she did.

Two days later, the day of her father’s birthday, Vera kept her phone on her. She avoided getting into any conversations that wouldn’t be easy to walk away from. She kept her obligatory speech short and sweet, just in case. She was starting to think the call wouldn’t come, that maybe her parents would treat this child the same way as the last, by pretending it didn’t exist. But of course, her phone began vibrating right in the middle of dinner.

Vera looked at the screen and sighed. **Parents. Home.** flashed across the screen. “I need to take this,” she said, excusing herself from the table. Hamish looked at her questioningly but she shook her head. This was one call she’d rather take alone.

“You are not actually pregnant, are you?” Linda Stone said the instant Vera answered.

“Hello to you too, Mother,” Vera sighed. “And yes, I believe that is what was implied.”

“But at your age? And you’re not married, or even dating anyone seriously. Do you even know who the father is this time?”

Vera had already steeled herself for this conversation. She’d never expected it to go any better than it had twenty-two years ago. _“My age_ isn’t a problem. And I can not believe you asked me that, but yes, I actually have been seeing someone for the past year.” The timing might have been a bit of a fib but oh well, it was still her longest relationship.

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” her mother asked curtly. “What does he do? Can he afford to support you and a child?”

“Mother, I am the _Chancellor_ of a prestigious university. I do get a salary, quite a comfortable one, in fact.”

Barb huffed. “For now. But babies are expensive, and once you-”

Vera could already guess where her mother was taking this. “I’m not quitting my job, Mother.”

“You say that now, but once the baby comes-”

“Women _can_ have families and careers these days.” _Just because you stayed home and dedicated your entire life to controlling mine and Daddy’s doesn’t mean I have to_ , Vera thought.

“And what do you expect to do when the baby’s little? _Daycare?_ Don’t you know how nasty those places can be? All those germs?”

Vera shut her eyes, her teeth clenching. She heard footsteps behind her and soon felt Hamish’s hands on her shoulders, kneading gently. She took a deep breath. “We haven’t talked specifics yet, but between the two of us, I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“Babies are a lot of work, Vera,” Barb said disapprovingly.

“I’m not sure what you’re suggesting I should have done about this baby, but if I could handle one at sixteen, I think we’ll be fine.”

Her mother scoffed. “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m just saying, you’ve got no clue what you’ve gotten yourself into. A few months is a plaything, Vera, not motherhood.”

Vera froze. _Nothing_ had changed. _“Seven_ months. Seven. And that is _my daughter_ you’re talking about. I know you and Dad like to pretend Alyssa never existed, but not a day goes by that I forget.”

Hamish squeezed her shoulders again. “Vera,” he called softly. He gently reached for the phone and she let him tug it out of her fist. “Ma’am? My name’s Hamish Duke, and I don’t appreciate anyone causing the mother of my baby unneeded stress right now. I’m going to hang up now. If you want to see so much as the birth announcement for your grandchild, you won’t call back.” He hung up the phone and handed it back to her.

“You didn't need to do that,” she whispered.

Hamish looked sheepish. “I wouldn’t have told you to tell them if I’d known it would be like that.”

Vera shrugged weakly. “And you’ll notice, it was my father’s birthday but he wasn’t even the one that bothered to call.”

“I already made up an excuse, if you want to go home,” Hamish told her. It was then that she noticed he was carrying her purse as well.

Vera nodded. “I’m not much in the mood for socializing,” she agreed.

Vera handed Hamish her keys so he could drive and slid into the passenger seat, letting her eyes close.

“My mother and I were never close,” Vera spoke up when they were on the road. She didn’t know why she felt like sharing this. Maybe it was hearing her mother’s voice again. Maybe it was the pregnancy sending her hormones into overdrive and making her feel all sappy. Maybe it was the idea of building this new family for herself, when her old one had let her down so badly. Whatever the reason, she let herself talk. “We never saw eye to eye. She was one of those pageant moms, who always seemed to be trying to continue living through me, I guess? But I didn’t mind doing it. It certainly played a role in getting me out of that town. But she was the type where nothing I did was ever good enough. There was always something more I could have done.”

“My Dad, on the other hand…” She had to stop, biting her lip to compose herself. “I was always a daddy’s girl. I used to spend hours sitting in the garage with him. He used to like to tinker with these old cars he’d find real cheap someplace.” She gave a small laugh at the memories of those days. “He was _horrible_ at it, but it never stopped him. He told me once, ‘men are supposed to know about cars, so that’s what I’m doing’. And I’d sit there, and we’d have these huge debates about anything and everything while he broke the damn thing into pieces.”

“It doesn’t sound like a bad childhood,” Hamish said softly.

Vera opened her eyes to find him glancing between her and the road. She gave him a small, sad smile. “That’s what made it worse. When I was little, I used to think my Dad was _the_ best person in the world. But it turned out, I was only worth his time when I was still his perfect little princess. When I got pregnant, that was it. He just threw me away.”

She could still remember that night. Her mother’s angry words and her father’s quiet disappointment, the way he’d just stood up and said he was going to go call her aunt. He’d helped her pack her things that weekend, never once saying a word. He hadn’t hugged her goodbye. He’d just packed her up and moved her out, like one of his broken-down cars once he’d realized there was nothing left he could do to salvage it. She used hear her aunt, his sister, arguing with him over the phone sometimes, but it hadn’t done any good. He’d never come back for her.

“The, uh, the night I went into labor, my aunt was working, which meant I was the only one at home. I called her as soon as I realized it was happening, but she was working alone that night and couldn’t leave until she found someone to come in and cover for her. I probably sat there for an hour, in a lot of pain and terrified I’d end up giving birth at home, by myself, before I worked up the courage to call my dad. I told him Aunt Tammy was at work and the baby was coming.” She paused to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. “He asked if Aunt Tammy was going to come home, and as soon as I said she was, he said ‘then you’ll be fine’, and hung up.”

“Your aunt got there, right?” Hamish asked. He sounded horrified.

Vera gave a small huff. “Labor’s not fast. She got me to the hospital in plenty of time.”

“And did your dad…”

She shook her head. “My parents didn’t come. I’m actually not even sure they saw her more than a handful of times.”

Hamish let out a heavy breath. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell them.”

She gave him a tiny smile. “I was already thinking about it anyways.” Glancing down, she said, “I don’t know why I even bother.” Moreso, she didn’t know why she was still hanging onto those memories of being a child. It was _so_ long ago. Too much had happened to ever get back to that place.

“You know I would never-”

“I know,” Vera cut him off. She looked up at him. “You’re going to be an amazing dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And no, I'm not done with Vera's parents yet.


	33. Matti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I not surprised Matti wanted to go for almost 3k words and I had to shut him down or he'd just keep going? lol. 
> 
> But yes, Vera vs her parents is not finished. She needs closure on the trauma of that chapter of her life. Actually what took me so long to get this chapter up, I spent half this time plotting that out while the backstory was so stuck in my head. Very cathartic to let Vera get out all those emotions towards her father before I started writing this one. lol.

Matti Johnston had always been an irregularity in the Order. He’d never been an ambitious person. It wasn’t that he didn’t apply himself, he simply had different interests than the future politicians and actors and businessmen that the Order typically recruited. He’d never been one for the desk job and the paperwork and the endless meetings. Rising through the ranks of the Order, holding any positions, wasn’t even on his radar. But he’d done it for her.

Matti had still been an undergrad the first time he’d encountered Vera Stone. She’d been working on her Masters at the time, while quickly becoming a recognizable name within the Order, and she’d flown out to the CA Chapter to look over some old texts she didn’t have access to at Belgrave. As the son of the Temple Magus, he’d been tasked with showing her around and helping her find anything she’d needed.

What he’d found was a refreshing new outlook and a lifelong friend. Vera had been a force to be reckoned with, even back then. She’d known what she wanted and she went for it, and she encouraged him to follow his own path as well. Without Vera, he’d probably be…right where he’d ended up anyways, behind a desk, handling things he didn’t have any real interest in. But it would be worth it in the end, if Vera could make this work. The ambitious, self-serving, assholes that the Order attracted needed some bigger, badder guard dogs around to keep them in check.

On the last Saturday in May, Vera walked into the Temple for what had to be the first time in months. Given her history there, one might have expected a more emotional return but Vera simply strode in, paused briefly to glance around, and continued on to the Reliquary.

“Hello, Matti,” she greeted with a half-smile. “Let’s get this over with. I’ve got better ways to spend a Saturday.”

“You and me both,” Matti agreed. When the Council had voted to have Belgrave’s candidates for the year reevaluated, he had protested. Vera had been Temple Magus long enough that he trusted her choices, regardless of her current standing within the Order. Vera would have been keeping an eye over the admissions office for months, appraising the upcoming students as their applications arrived. It was more than he could do in the few short weeks he’d have to look over the entire upcoming freshman class. His protestations had gone unheard.

Vera stepped up to the desk, where he’d laid out the selections for her final approval, per the Knights’ alliance agreement. It took her less than five seconds to turn to him, wearing a pissed expression. “Matthew!” she snapped. “These are the same candidates I picked out months ago.”

Matti shrugged. “They were good picks.”

She glared at him. “Bullshit. Did you even look at any of the options I’d discarded?”

“Yes, and I decided to stick with what was already here. I don’t see what the problem is. You liked these kids, let’s go with them.”

Vera pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a heavy sigh. _“The problem_ is that I’m not the Temple Magus anymore. The Order isn’t going to stand for me having complete control over the selection.” When she looked up at him, she looked miserable. “Where are the others? Tell me you have them.”

Matti shrugged again, giving her an exaggeratedly sheepish look.

Vera didn’t look amused. “I hope you didn’t have big plans for the day,” she muttered. She turned and headed for the exit. “Come with me. We can pull them up in my office.”

“Vee-” Matti tried to be charming, but Vera was one person that had never worked on.

“We’re doing this right, Matti. I don’t want to get stuck doing it a _third_ time.”

Matti sighed. “Fine.”

Matti followed Vera over to the administration building. He could tell she was pissed because she didn’t speak to him once the entire way, even when he tried to tease some sort of response out of her. It almost made him feel bad, except he knew Vera lived for this crap. She put more hours into this job than anyone he knew, and he’d grown up immersed in the life.

Vera sat down in her desk chair and started typing something. A few minutes later, she turned the screen to face him. “Start looking over these. I need to make a call.” She got up and walked just out into the hallway.

He scooted closer so he could better view the computer, reaching for the mouse. He kept one ear on Vera though, curiosity getting the better of him. He knew there was something between Vera and that leader of the werewolves, but Vera had never been the type to _call_ when her plans changed. More than once, he and Ash had made plans with Vera when they were all in the same town, only to get a last minute text that she wasn’t going to make it after all. It was just how Vera operated - nothing was more important than the Order. Only clearly something had changed for her, and Matti was curious how much of it was the werewolves and how much of it was one particular werewolf.

“Hi,” Vera sighed into the phone. “This is going to take longer than I’d hoped…I’m not sure, probably most the day. I want to be sure the Council can’t find any reason to call foul, which means Matthew needs to be prepared to give an argument for each one we select, and right now, I’m not sure he could give me their names.”

Matti’s brows rose at that and he sat back, fully listening in now.

_“Yes, Dad,”_ Vera teased, “I’ll be sure I eat something…”

Matti snorted quietly. He’d only met the guy a few times, but Matti could already tell he was good for Vera. Vera needed someone she could let her guard down around and allow herself to lean on, someone who would look out for her as much as she looked out for everyone else. In almost fifteen years of friendship, Matti couldn’t remember Vera ever having someone like that in her life. He wished she’d found it earlier.

“Okay. I’ll see you at home.”

Matti rested his chin on his hand and was grinning when she walked back into the room. He couldn’t help himself. “See you at home?” he teased gently.

Vera shot him a look. “Meaning my home. It’s a saying,” she tried to avoid him.

“I’m happy for you,” he told her honestly. Vera held his gaze for a moment longer, her expression hard to read, before finally giving a small nod. She came around the desk and sat back down in the seat, angling the computer so they could both view it. “Alright, then. So since we are short on time and I don’t want to go through the entire freshman class again, this is the shortlist I compiled earlier this year.”

“This is short?” Matti cut in, horrified.

She gave him an annoyed glance. “There are roughly 2,000 new students enrolled each year. A few hundred _is_ a shortlist.”

He sunk into his chair. This was going to take an eternity.

Vera sighed and gave him a small half-smile that wasn’t very encouraging. “Thankfully, I’m familiar with a number of these applications, which should help us sort through them more quickly. I’ve already eliminated everyone I could based on academics alone. What’s left are the students that _should_ be able to handle an extracurricular as demanding as the Order, without risk of ending up on academic probation. From here, we sort through their high school extracurriculars, go over their essays, and try to see who would be a good fit for this chapter.” Seeing his obviously overwhelmed expression, Vera huffed. “Next year, we will figure out a better plan for this. For now, my recommendation is we look for candidates who won’t rock the boat. We want the rule followers, not the ones likely to push their boundaries.”

“And how do we find those? Cross off any kid who’s ever been caught speeding? Anyone who’s ever had detention?”

Vera rolled her eyes. “They’re kids, Matti. Not robots. They can make mistakes.” She punched in some code, and the number at the bottom of the screen got a little smaller. “Though admittedly, repeat offenders could be eliminated.”

Matti snorted. “So that leaves us with…” He checked the number on the screen again. “…237 possibilities. God, this is going to take forever.”

She chuckled. “There’s a few more clues we can use to narrow them down. For instance, student council. This is the year we’re wanting the class treasurer, not the class president.”

192 possibilities.

“And then there’s the debate club,” she continued. “Probably not our best candidates right now.”

The number dropped even further.

By the time Vera was done, it was still going to take them most of the day, but it would be manageable.

“What about this one?” Matti asked, passing Vera one of the applications.

Vera took it and dropped it onto the desk, propping her head on her hand as she scanned the papers. Matti had noticed her sinking the last few hours and, while it had been a ridiculously long day, it still concerned him.

“Are you okay?”

Vera looked up. “Hmm?”

“You look like you’re starting to drag a little.” “It’s been a long day.” She gave him a small smile, attempting to put him at ease, but that was all Matti needed to know something was up. The Vera he knew would have argued, or at least given some snarky response about how it was his fault they’d been stuck doing this all day anyways.

“Do you want to call it quits for the day?”

Vera arched a brow. “I want to get this finished, so I don’t have to be back in here tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he agreed.

But only half an hour later, Vera looked even worse. When she sat back in her chair, her eyes closing, Matti jumped up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she muttered.

“That’s not what I asked, but that does mean this has been happening for a while. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

Vera sighed. “I already have. Now can we drop it?”

Matti’s heart plummeted. “Is it the Fors Factorum then? It’s been…” Except he didn’t need to tell her how long it had been. They both knew. It had been right after the Marand twins were exiled, when her drive to reach Temple Magus as soon as possible, to be able to do _something,_ had overridden any sense of self-preservation she had. He’d been expecting news of her death ever since and now, now was the absolute worst time for it to happen. _She_ was the glue holding this Order-Knights alliance together. Without her, it could all crumble.

“I’ve still got time, Matti,” she said quietly.

“But it is, isn’t it? Fuck. I knew-”

“Matti!” Vera snapped. She looked at him pleadingly. “Please. I already hear enough of this from Hamish. I don’t need it from you too.”

Matti forced himself to sit back down as he struggled to reel himself back in. “So, he knows?” he asked.

“He knows,” she said simply.

The fact that she had even told him, the fact that the young man had stayed, made Matti happy. It reiterated the fact that Vera _finally_ had let someone sneak past her walls and seen that she didn’t have to be burned for it. “I’m glad you told him.”

Vera huffed. “Except he’s so determined to find a way out of it, I’m afraid he’s going to be unprepared when it comes time for me to pay up.”

Matti could understand that. People had hunted for generations for the very same thing. Some were people who regretted their decision, once their health began to deteriorate. Others were losing a loved one to the incantation. Matti had even looked himself, when Vera had first mentioned her decision to perform the spell.

“Can you blame him?” Matti asked. “If there was even a chance, wouldn’t you want to try it?” From the carefully guarded look that passed over her, there was something she wasn’t telling him. He sat forward. “What?”

She hesitated, then rolled her eyes, skeptically saying, “Hamish thinks he may have found the answer.”

Matti sat forward. “Then why haven’t you done it? There’s nothing to lose here, Vee.”

Vera looked down. “It’s not that simple.” She looked up. “Hamish found something that seems to suggest that the Fors Factorum was created for the Knights of the Blue Rose. With the hide, the incantation _is_ everything people dream about. Magic with no sacrifice. But for the average practitioner…”

“So you would need to become a werewolf,” Matti said, his heart plummeting. “And the hides are all taken.”

“…that’s not all,” Vera whispered. He could see she was hesitant, debating with herself whether to tell him more, maybe even debating whether he was truly on her side.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he assured her. They’d been friends for fifteen years. That wasn’t changing just because Vera had left the Order. She’d always had bigger dreams than the Order would have allowed. Nothing had changed for him.

Vera reached for her glass and pulled it closer. “Anaplerosi,” she said quietly. But nothing happened.

Matti stared at the glass blankly. “What…why didn’t-”

“Praxis took my magic,” Vera admitted quietly.

“When?” he asked, shocked.

She shrugged. “January.” Four months and no one had suspected a thing. “Hamish is quite the accomplished practitioner. He was able to cover for me for weeks while we searched for a way to fix it. Obviously, we haven’t found an answer,” she admitted, when he kept staring. She glanced down. “The Knights _are_ still practitioners. Without my magic, having a spare hide doesn’t matter a bit.”

“You’ve already tried, haven’t you?” She sounded so sure of herself, a certainty she didn’t seem to just be guessing at. She knew it wouldn’t work.

She gave him a small, approving smile for figuring it out. “I wasn’t lying when I told the Order there were only five. At the time, it was the truth. We didn’t know where to find the sixth,” she admitted.

So they had the hide, she just needed her magic. “What have you tried?”

Vera laughed bitterly. “What _haven’t_ I tried?” She looked down. “I suspect we are out of feasible options. The practitioner in question is dead now…and it was a spell from the Vade Maecum, not something that could be easily overturned by another practitioner. I suspect you’re wanting to say ‘I told you so’ now.”

“Never,” Matti said, setting his hand over hers. He had warned her that she’d regret it some day. After nine years, he’d started to think she was going to prove him wrong. Vera’s acceptance of her fate was admirable even. She’d made a decision and stuck with it to the bitter end. And now, with time running short, she’d finally found something to live for and it broke his heart. “How bad is it?”

Vera shrugged. “Everything’s still functioning, and I feel reasonably okay but I’ve been battling anemia for a couple years now. It’s been getting worse…which could be a problem. I’ve been exhausted lately,” she admitted. She looked up and gave him a weak, sad smile. “But I suspect some of that’s because I’m pregnant.”

Matti choked. “Seriously?”

She nodded and, for the first time, he noticed her hand had been resting over her belly. “Ten weeks. Not what I’d intended, as you can imagine.”

“Oh my God, Vee,” Matti murmured. He couldn’t even feel happy for her. From her expression, he wasn’t sure she felt entirely happy about it either.

“I _need you_ to step up, Matti,” she said, her voice wavering slightly. “Do not make me spend what time I have left doing bullshit like this,” she gestured at the papers scattered around the table, “when I could be at home.”

Matti didn’t hesitate. “Of course. Whatever you need me to do.”

“Do your job, Matti. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t make this harder on me than it already is.”

“Whatever you need,” Matti repeated. “I can help search for a fix for your magic too-”

“Stop. Please,” she begged him.

He didn’t understand. “But Vee, if there’s a chance-”

“And what if there’s not?”

Matti understood where she was coming from. Vera had taught herself to always plan for the worst, because maybe if she saw it coming, it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it happened. That was why she couldn’t let herself hope for a future where she was alive. It wasn’t Hamish she was worried about breaking, if the worst happened. It was herself.

Still, Matti intended to do what he could from his side of the magical divide.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek. Longest gap I've ever gone without updating. Sorry. :p My writing time's being taken over by all the fun outdoorsy chores I've been avoiding all summer. Woo. Blah. Ha. And then that got me distracted by audiobooks. Oh well, was nice to have a quick break after two months of nothing but writing. But I'm back at it! Hopefully won't be week long gaps again but may still be more than my previous every day or two schedule.

Vera hadn’t planned on telling Matti anything. Right up until the words had come out of her mouth, she hadn’t thought she’d actually say them. The thing was, she needed somebody other than Hamish to confide in. Hamish had the whole wolf pack to lean on if he needed. Vera had Hamish. And while Hamish knew about the Fors Factorum, that didn’t mean he was accepting it. Vera had been doing her best not to lay her own emotions on him as well. She needed to be strong, for him. It wouldn’t be fair to make him live with those memories.

It was different with Matti. She didn’t have to try to spare his feelings. He wouldn’t be the one left alone with a child at the end of this. And he had tried to tell her she’d regret her decision one day. Admitting that he had been right after all was difficult, but then so were the circumstances that had caused her change of heart, so late into the game.

The unfortunate part of her impromptu revelation was the Matti was perhaps the worst person she could have chosen. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Matti, or didn’t want him to know. It didn’t even matter that he swore he wouldn’t say a word until she was ready. The problem was, Matti struggled with lying. It left him flustered and stumbling over the ten different things he’d said instead. He blamed it on being raised by parents who could use magic to pull the truth out of him as a child, but Vera suspected it was just Matti. In any case, Matti’s aversion to direct lies had led to an avoidance technique that made things even more awkward. It was why she’d included him in the investigative team months ago. When Matti felt like someone was probing him for answers he couldn’t give, he often simply stopped talking altogether. And while Vera knew no one would specifically mention pregnancy, who knew what would trigger Matti’s particular brand of silence. That meant she was going to need to beat Matti to the punch before any awkward silences led to theories and rumors that could be more problematic than the truth.

Vera pulled onto her street and frowned when she spotted the car in her driveway – a car that did _not_ belong to Hamish but was familiar all the same. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths as she parked. She would _not_ flip out over this. As much as she thought of this as _her_ house, the truth was Hamish had moved in. He wasn’t just an occasional guest anymore and he hadn’t been for some time. It was _fine_ if he had friends over, she tried to tell herself. But damn it, she’d seen how those wolves could be and she was terrified of what state she’d find her home in. Vera took one more breath, reminding herself to stay calm, and walked up to the front door.

At first glance, at least, nothing seemed to be disturbed. There were no messes anywhere. There were no _people_ anywhere. But then she heard voices coming from the back rooms. She dropped her purse on the counter and hurried that way, too anxious to put it away properly first.

The lights were on in the bedroom closest to the master and as she approached, she could tell the voices were coming from inside. When she reached the open door, she could see Hamish and Randall standing just inside, arms folded as they surveyed the room together. They both looked over before she could speak.

Hamish offered her a smile. Randall gave her an explanation. “I was just dropping him off. Nice house.”

So it wasn’t really an explanation for why he was _in_ her house. She arched a brow and hummed in response.

“I had mentioned that we were talking about clearing one of these rooms out for the baby,” Hamish told her. “I thought we could take a look while he was here.”

Vera folded her arms and stepped closer, so she could better peer into the room herself. They hadn’t touched anything, that she could tell. “I’ll need time to go through it all first,” she relented.

“Of course,” Hamish readily agreed. “We wouldn’t touch anything without asking you first. We just wanted to get an idea of what there is to move.”

She nodded once. “I’ll get started this week. I imagine you all will need something to keep you occupied this summer?”

Hamish grinned. “You mean we can start getting the room together already?”

She gave him a small smile. “Why not?” Most of the Knights had not signed up for summer courses, which meant she’d be working all summer while they got into who-knew-what with nothing to do. If she could put them to use doing something that would need to be done at some point anyways, it was a win-win.

Vera could tell Randall wanted to protest and when he opened his mouth, she rolled her eyes. “But how can you choose a theme if you don’t know what the baby is?”

“There are plenty of neutral themes,” she pointed out. When Hamish had first suggested they let the gender remain a surprise, she hadn’t been sure she’d stick with it, especially knowing that with the bloodwork they’d be running at her upcoming appointment would be able to give them the answer. But the more she watched the other wolves hint or even beg to find out, knowing that some of them must have money on it, made it easier to want to wait.

Randall snorted. “What? Forest animals? Won’t that make for some fun bedtime stories? Look at the cute little deer. Did you know Uncle Jack ate a deer the first time he turned into a werewolf? And those fluffy little bunnies, they’re lots of fun to chase!”

Vera cringed at the idea of Randall _ever_ telling her baby bedtime stories, or any stories. “I’m aware that this baby will know about magic very early in life, but I expect _some_ details will be glossed over?” It wasn’t a suggestion.

“Honestly, Lilith’s probably the one we’ll need to watch,” Hamish admitted.

That did not surprise Vera one bit. She shook her head, lips pursed. “We’ll be going over ground rules before _anyone_ is babysitting.” She looked between the boys, her gaze lingering on Hamish as she smirked. “Now, I’m going to go take a shower. Please, don’t break anything.”

Hamish was waiting for her when she stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in only a towel.

“I should have asked if you were alright with him coming in,” Hamish said. “We got to talking about the room and I got ahead of myself.”

“No, it’s fine,” Vera told him, heading for her dresser. “It’s occurred to me that we’ve both been treating this like you’re a guest here…you’re not. You don’t need to run everything by me first.” She looked up and found Hamish smiling at her from his seat on the bed. “A heads up would be nice, though,” she added.

“Of course,” Hamish agreed. He waited until she’d pulled a set of pajamas from the drawer before he stood. By the time she let her towel drop, he was standing behind her. “How did it go today? I hope this little guy didn’t give you too much trouble?” he asked, his hand finding its way to the small, rounded bump she’d recently begun showing.

Vera smirked. “You’re going to start making me feel fat,” she told him, not really meaning it. His attentiveness to her slowly growing belly was sort of adorable.

Hamish nuzzled her neck and she knew he was probably blushing slightly, as he had every time she’d teased him about it. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting it to be noticeable so soon.”

Vera barked a quiet laugh. She could already tell Hamish would not be any help once she actually started to feel huge. In truth though, her belly could hardly be called ‘noticeable’. Chosen carefully, her clothes still hid the bump easily enough, even if half her closet had already been relegated to storage in one of the spare rooms until she could fit into them again. But perhaps it was one more reason to go ahead and announce it.

“We got it finished. That’s all that matters,” she said, semi-answering his questions.

“You should be allowed to rest,” Hamish complained, his voice low and gentle.

“Things will slow down after this,” she assured him. She turned in his arms so she could look up into his face and gave him a small smile. “And I told Matthew tonight,” she admitted. She saw something flash behind his eyes, whether that was Hamish or Tundra she wasn’t always sure, but she rolled her eyes at his reaction nonetheless. “I’m sure someone from the Gnostic Council will be by some time this week to look over our Neophyte selections. God knows, they’re not going to trust my word on it. But I’m thinking I may make an appearance and let them in on our news, as well.” With luck, the Council members that came would include the Chair of the University’s Board of Trustees and she could kill two birds at once.

Hamish looked uncertain. His hand grazed her side and she wiggled away from the light touch, making him smile briefly. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“You have been waiting for this for weeks,” Vera reminded him. Then she looked pointedly at her swelling belly. “And as you’ve pointed out, I’m starting to look fat,” she teased him. “I’d rather they hear it from me first.” She wasn’t going to tell Hamish about her concerns regarding Matti knowing. That wasn’t Matti’s fault.

“Do you want me there?” Hamish asked.

Vera huffed. Honestly, yes, she did. But… “I’m not sure the Council would react well to any of the Knights being inside the Temple again.”

“I don’t like the idea of you being in there alone with all of them. Especially without your magic.”

Vera cringed at the reminder. _That_ might have been her stupidest revelation of the night, but she was blaming it on being perpetually exhausted, nauseated and hormonal. She just hoped Matti would keep his word and back her up, if that ever came out.

“You told Matthew about that too,” Hamish said flatly.

“I’ve known him a long time. He won’t put me in danger,” she tried to assure him. Matti could have easily left the Temple Magus job to Luiz and left her to deal with the full consequences of backing the Knights, but he hadn’t. Matti wasn’t going to purposely put her into a situation that left her vulnerable.

“I’d feel better if I could be with you.”

Vera sighed. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said. She tapped him lightly on the chest. “Now let me finish getting dressed. I’m ready to curl up on the couch and not move for the rest of the night.”

Hamish chuckled, unsurprised. It was where they found themselves most nights these days but after a full day at work, she just didn’t have the energy to do anything else. She couldn’t wait ‘til the end of her first trimester, when some of her energy should return…assuming it was only the pregnancy wearing her down. But she wasn’t going to think about that anymore tonight.

“Have you eaten? Can I make you something?”

“I’ll just grab some crackers. I don’t think I could keep down an actual meal,” she admitted.

“But you ate lunch?” Hamish asked, already the worrier.

“Yes, Dad,” she teased him again. “We ordered takeout. I made Matti buy for making me work all day. And you made sure I ate breakfast. I can handle missing a full dinner.”

“I just want to be sure you’re taking care of yourself. I know you forget to eat sometimes when you get busy.”

“I know,” she told him, leaning up for a quick kiss. “And thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. This was actually meant to be the chapter on the Gnostic Council, but then Randall intruded, and Vera wanted to talk to Hamish, and now it's late and I've already made y'all wait so I figured I'd find a stopping point and post what I've got.


	35. The Gnostic Council

Matti stood outside the Temple and watched as Vera tried to put her werewolf boyfriend/bodyguard at ease. No doubt Hamish Duke would be pacing outside until Vera returned to him. While Matti didn’t have a problem letting the Knights into the Temple, under supervision of course, he hadn’t been Temple Magus long enough to push the Council that far. First, he needed to prove that whatever decisions he made regarding working with Vera and her werewolves, he would still put the Order first. That had been the mistake Vera had made, and Matti couldn’t repeat it if he intended to keep this position long enough to do some good.

Matti stepped forward when Vera and Hamish finally turned towards him.

“I don’t plan to be long,” Vera assured Hamish once again.

Hamish grumbled to himself. “Ten minutes and I’m coming to get you.”

“Hamish,” Vera chided gently. “Half an hour. And I’ll call you if it goes longer.”

“And I’ve got her back in there,” Matti spoke up.

Hamish turned to him. For a moment, his eyes flashed silver. “You’d better,” he growled.

Matti held his easygoing smile but the truth was, Hamish Duke unnerved him. He suspected it was the opposing aspects of the werewolf leader. The young man was articulate and well-spoken on the outside, with a sort of old-fashioned feel about him. And then there was that flash of silver in his eyes, the reminder that this wasn’t an ordinary man but an apex predator. Matti had faced down his share of predators in the National Parks, but never one with the intelligence and rationality of a human.

“I’ll be fine,” Vera said.

“And I’ll be inside,” Matti chirped, when he noticed Vera looking at Hamish like she wanted to kiss him but holding back. He could give her a few minutes alone to say goodbye. He rolled his eyes as he walked away. As if thirty minutes could be considered goodbye.

Vera caught up with him in the dark, stone entryway. How that woman managed not to look nervous as hell amazed him.

“Are they already here?” she asked for the first time.

“They’re _catching up,”_ Matti said with a nod. In other words, hanging by the bar and drinking while they gossiped like school girls.

“Did Brian Price come?” she asked, referring to the Councilor who doubled as the University Board’s Chair, and thus Vera’s point of contact as Chancellor.

He nodded again. “Price. Along with Cynthia Howard…” he hesitated. “And Luiz.”

Vera looked momentarily surprised. “He filled Kepler’s spot?”

“Apparently so. Nobody thought to inform me until now.” Or they’d thought about it and purposely left him out of the loop.

“Fuck,” Vera muttered.

“He hasn’t bothered us yet,” Matti pointed out, although his thoughts were more in line with hers on the matter. Matti had seen the cold expression on the man’s face when they had chosen him over Luiz for the Temple Magus position. He’d been furious that the wolves had gotten off scot-free in the first place. Choosing a Magus that was willing to work with the Knights likely only added insult to injury. What was concerning though, was Matti didn’t know whether Luiz had been invited to join the Council as a balm to his anger, or if the Order was not going to be as agreeable with the Knights as they’d hoped. Whatever the case, Matti knew Luiz would be keeping a close eye and would be handling any little mishaps personally.

Vera scowled. “I know you’re smarter than that.”

“I’m an optimist,” Matti said, shrugging.

“And it will get you killed one day,” she muttered. “Well, let’s get this over with before I have to worry about a werewolf bursting in here as well.”

Matti just grinned.

“Vera,” Price greeted, a slight scowl on his face, “you didn’t need to be here for this.”

“I’ve already done this twice this year. I wanted to be here to argue my case, before you veto our choices and try to make me do it a _third_ time,” she said darkly.

The older man nodded. “Very well. Lead the way,” he said, gesturing with a hand.

Vera paused, waiting for Matti to take the lead and then fell into step behind him. Matti could feel Luiz’s glare burning into their backs the entire walk to the Reliquary.

Inside, the three Councilors immediately began looking over the files laid out on the desk, a blue rose lying on top of each of the nine pictures.

“A rather lackluster group,” Cynthia commented, looking at the collection with an unimpressed expression. “These were the best we had?”

“All worthy candidates, I assure you,” Vera spoke up. “However, Matthew and I decided that perhaps this is not the year to focus on future leaders, and instead lean towards the students who better epitomize the _subservience_ part of the Order.”

Matti could see the unhappy expressions and jumped in to talk them down before they could protest. “It is my first year as Temple Magus,” he said, putting on a sheepish grin. “And we all know I wasn’t chosen for my mentoring abilities. I would like to keep some of them alive this year?”

Price picked up one of the folders again and flipped through it with a huff. “I thought you intended to keep your wolves on a leash,” he said to Vera.

“I said that they wouldn’t act unnecessarily,” she corrected. “Not that we’d be allowing acolytes to attempt to murder their professors to avoid tests.”

Matti’s eyes went wide at that but it seemed to placate two members of the Council.

“I suppose this is acceptable,” Brian Price relented. He looked up and met both their eyes in turn. “This year.”

Matti relaxed. Vera looked tenser than ever. “There is one more thing, Brian,” she said. He arched a brow, signaling for her to continue. Vera took a breath. “I will be needing to take some time away from my position as Chancellor some time around the winter break.”

The older man looked annoyed. Cynthia scoffed. “Because a full month, _with no notice,_ wasn’t enough?” she asked. “You should be grateful you still have a job. Only because those goddamned werewolves…” Her words turned into a mutter and trailed away, too quiet to be heard.

“Which would be why I’m notifying you now.”

“How long?” Price grumbled, not giving any clues whether he intended to accept her request. Not that it was a request, Matti knew.

“I believe the University’s standard is twelve weeks-”

“Twelve weeks!” Cynthia cut in, outraged, but it was clear the reasoning was still lost on her. But Price’s expression was shifting into something more surprised than annoyed.

Vera looked at the woman, lips pursed. “Check the University’s guide book, under parental leave.” She took a breath. “I’m pregnant. The baby will be arriving during the winter break, or a bit before.”

Cynthia looked positively dumbstruck. Matti couldn’t decipher Luiz’s expression, but it wasn’t a pleasant one. But Price only inclined his head. “I’ll inform the rest of the Board.” He looked between his two companions before turning back to her. “And I believe that is all, for now. We’ll be in touch regarding your leave. You’re excused, Chancellor.”

Her jaw clenched but she nodded and turned to leave. Matti subtly flung the doors open for her as she exited. From the way her hand lifted, she’d caught on, and he slammed the doors shut behind her.

Matti flopped into the leather chair behind the desk. “No congratulations?” he asked lightly. “The woman is having a baby.”

“Vera Stone,” Cynthia scoffed under her breath, as if that’s all she needed to say.

Luiz sneered. “It could be an opening to remove her as Chancellor.”

Cynthia nodded. “She’d never have gotten the job in the first place if we’d expected her to start having children!” she agreed.

Matti lounged in his chair and listened to the three debate specifics for a time. Clearly none of them understood what Vera was capable of, when she set her mind to it. Matti didn’t doubt her ability to run this school, as well as care for an infant at home, one bit. But they were all expecting her to fail.

Finally, Matti had had enough. He leaned back and put his feet up on his desk, making the Councilors cringe. “Do you really want to piss off the overprotective Daddy Wolf by pulling Vera off her job?” he drawled lazily.

It seemed no one had fully considered the role the Knights’ had in this, because they suddenly seemed a bit more uncertain.

“Do we even know for certain that the father is one of the werewolves?” Cynthia asked, her argument weak.

Matti laughed, the sound echoing off the stone walls. “First everyone’s accusing her of sleeping with the wolf. Now you think it’s someone else?” He shook his head, playing at looking totally amused. “It was the leader of the wolves that forced us to keep her on as Chancellor. From what I gathered while we were working on these,” he said, gesturing at the pictures and blue roses scattered under his boots, “the guy’s been living with her.” He shrugged. “But if you think the Knights will still keep their end of this arrangement…” Personally, if they pulled Vera from her position as Chancellor, Matti was getting the hell out of dodge.

Thankfully, Brian Price was a semi-reasonable man and looked like he was going to back down. “We need to gather the Council and speak with the Grand Magus before making any decisions moving forward,” he said calmly. He looked to Matti then and gave a small nod. “If there’s nothing else, we’ll be out of your way.”

Matti grinned. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to discuss some ideas I’ve got for this little neophyte tournament.” His grin widened as eyes rolled all around.

“Just try not to kill anyone, Matthew,” Price sighed. “You’re selecting future practitioners, not Kni-” He bit off the word, recognizing the duality of it.

“So no jousting,” Matti agreed cheerfully. “Got it.”

Price shook his head and patted him patronizingly on the shoulder before heading for the doors. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Matti waved, still grinning. He had _lots_ of plans, some less thought out than others, but he had all summer to solidify things. First, he had to figure out how he was going to use the Knights in his tests. Afterall, what better way to keep obnoxious, spoiled brats from abusing their new magic than letting them see the campus guard dogs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a note I forgot to mention during Matti's last chapter, and more reason for why they're trying to give Matti all easy acolytes. If you think about it, he hasn't had to deal with any young practitioners. For the current year, Vera was already working on the idea of inducting the wolves so I'm going with the idea that they didn't even choose any new acolytes. It would have been a lot to deal with at once. Then the previous year, was Jack/Gabrielle/Brandon - Vera's got two of them, Brandon is "missing". The year before that was Alyssa/Lilith/maybe someone else? - but Lilith is with the Knights and Alyssa is dead. So there's maybe only one other from that year left. So that means Matti's only been working with older disciples, who Vera would have had fairly "well trained" by this point. He hasn't had any of the young, stupid kids who are still testing their boundaries with magic.


	36. Family, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to 300 comments! Woohoo. Thank you bunches. Major thanks to Quibilah, chinadolloo, and amara_lorena. Everyone better give props to them for keeping me motivated. And thank you to CrownedDeity for all the comments the past day! :D 
> 
> Gonna answer your comment for everyone. Nicole and Angus were both transfers, so I didn't include them in my little Matti's never dealt with new practitioners spiel. But (don't quote me on this), I think both were already magistratuses to begin with.   
>  The show doesn't give a real good explanation of the different levels. There seems to be a power-portion to it, but also a respect level. Vera used the promotion for a reward for Alyssa at the end of the first season, and then quickly promoted the Knights twice in season 2. Gabrielle was kept an acolyte, but Vera also made a comment at the end of season 1 about this being her second and final chance, so I'm assuming Gabrielle's got to prove herself in more than just skill before Vera would promote her. Angus and Selena were demoted, and then Angus was demoted again, after they acted against Vera.  
>  But as far as skill level alone goes, I've sort of been looking at it as acolytes being the very beginner level, just learning. But they're probably expected to move to medicum quickly, as Lilith and Alyssa were both promoted prior to Lilith being kicked out. Since they were only sophomores in season one, that means Lilith joined the Order, got promoted, got kicked out, joined the Knights and had been with them long enough to really have meshed well, likely all within her freshman year. For the magistratuses, I've sort of been thinking of them as the grad students. We know Selena is a grad student, and Kyle/Jonas/Diego all were older than Alyssa, even if ages were unclear. But they have a lot more "rights", than the two lower levels, and not as much supervision. After graduation, I'm working off the idea that practitioners remain magistratuses and under the care of one of the Temples, until they prove themselves skilled and trustworthy enough to become Adepti, or the "field agents" of the Order who aren't tied to any one Temple. They mentioned once that there's roughly 100 practitioners (I think thats what it was) at each Temple, but working off the idea that they only pick 3 acolytes each year, that's only 12 undergrads they're training at any given time, so that's a lot of people left to still be counted as members of the Temple.  
>  Yeah, I've thought about this a lot. lol. 
> 
> Anyways, this is probably going to be the last Vera POV chapter for a bit but its a long one. Lots to fit in before Hamish takes over!

Vera sat, cross-legged, on the floor and sorted through another of the boxes that had been shoved under the bed for years. This one was pictures, thankfully none of those few months she’d had with her daughter, but the happy childhood memories were difficult nonetheless. She’d almost shut the box right back up – the wolves had been in and out nonstop, carrying the boxes that she’d already packed up during the week to either the third bedroom or up the ladder to her previously unused attic and she wasn’t eager to have any of them catch her reminiscing, but something stopped her and she let herself look.

“Who is that?” Hamish asked, coming in and sitting down beside her when he saw what she was doing.

She huffed a laugh at his obvious curiosity. “You know very well who that is,” she told him. She’d always looked much the same, even as a small child.

Hamish’s eyes widened though. “You?” he asked, holding a hand out for the picture. She handed it over. “You were a cute kid,” he said with a grin. When he hesitated, she guessed what would come next and braced herself. “Alyssa…”

“Looked like me,” she said softly. A loud bang came from the next room and she cringed, glancing over her shoulder. She looked back at Hamish and forced a smile. “I’ll show you after they’ve left,” she decided. She didn’t keep pictures of her daughter around the house. That punch to the gut every time she passed one was too hard, but she still had the photo albums and a box of her things that she hadn’t been able to let go.

Hamish nodded and reached over to pluck a picture out of the box. “Which one’s you?” he asked, looking down at the photo of three little girls smiling at the camera with their arms around each other.

Vera laughed, grateful for the change in subject. She tapped the girl on the left. “With my cousins, Lizzie and Nikki.” When Hamish looked surprised, she smirked. “I _did_ have a normal childhood, remember? Family get-togethers. Aunts, uncles, cousins – granted, just the two.”

“Do you talk to any of them?” Hamish asked, looking deep in thought.

She shook her head. “My cousins and I grew apart young. I was always looking forward, planning for the day I got out of that town. Lizzie and Nikki were like the rest of my classmates, they never understood me. They were always civil. We just had nothing to talk about. Lizzie actually died, maybe a year ago?” She shrugged. “I sent a sympathy card to Nikki and their parents.”

“What about your aunt? The one that took you in?”

Vera glanced down and started sorting through the pictures in the box again. “She died in a car accident when I was still an undergrad. It was a long time ago,” she added, seeing the horror cross his face. She pulled a picture out and handed it to him with a small smile. “This was Aunt Tammy.” Her aunt hadn’t been any great beauty, but the Stone side of the family was where Vera had gotten her mind and Aunt Tammy wasn’t any different. She’d understood Vera’s need to make something more of herself than what their little rural county had to offer. Her only regret there was that her aunt hadn’t gotten the chance to see what she’d become. “So what about you?” she asked before he could comment. “Any relatives I don’t know about?”

“My dad is one of four. My mom has a younger sister. There’s twelve of us cousins,” Hamish admitted.

“Twelve?” Vera choked. She knew Hamish was an only child, like herself, so she’d been expecting something more along the lines of her own family. “Were you close to any of them?”

He nodded. “Especially the ones on my dad’s side. My mom’s sister lives in Florida, so we didn’t see a lot of them growing up, but the rest of us spent all our holidays together. My family’s got a lake house on Lake Saint Catherine, so we’d all meet up there.” He gave a small laugh. “Summer never officially started until we all met up to celebrate the end of school. Some summers, I never went home. Even after the oldest started to graduate high school and we started going our separate ways, we all agreed to keep that weekend as a way to keep in touch.” Hamish hesitated, then added, “I haven’t been in years though.”

Vera looked at him and gave him a small smile. “When is it?”

He looked momentarily surprised. “Um, the second weekend in June.”

She leaned over, bumping her shoulder against his. “That’s next weekend. You should go.” He’d told her he was going to try to let his parents back into his life, now that it wasn’t just him. From the expression on his face, he’d already been considering reuniting with the rest of his family as well.

“I don’t even know what I’d say.”

“If you were as close as it sounds, they won’t care.”

His gaze dipped down to where her tiny bump of a belly was hidden beneath a loose blouse. “I haven’t told my parents yet,” he said, looking for an excuse to pick the safer option.

She shrugged. “So don’t tell them. I didn’t say _I_ was going with you.” That was so far out of her comfort zone, she couldn’t even picture it. That many cousins, presumably all far younger than her, was something she needed more than a week to prepare herself for. At least six more months, when she could have alcohol again, was more what she was hoping for. But she wasn’t surprised to see the look on Hamish’s face that said he’d never considered going without her. She spoke up again before he could argue. “Take this chance to go home and feel it out. I’ll be fine on my own for a few days. And if, at the end, you decide you want to reconnect, we can, I don’t know, invite them here for a weekend.”

Hamish gave a small smile. “All of them?”

“I don’t have that kind of space. Small groups.” She would much rather be introduced to his family in small, manageable numbers. She huffed, brushing off the grateful smile he was giving her. She wasn’t doing this for him. She had been perfectly content with how things were. But it wasn’t just them anymore, and she wasn’t going to deny this baby anything. She held out a hand. “Now where’s your phone? You’re calling whoever’s in charge of this thing now, before you back out.”

Hamish sighed. “I’ll call Graeme,” he relented.

Vera smiled to herself, keeping one ear on him as she flipped through a few more pictures of her childhood. _That_ was what she wanted for her baby. Games of tag and hide-n-go-seek, telling scary stories around flashlights in makeshift tents. _Normalcy._ And while the Knights were a family, they’d never be considered normal.

Hamish stood up and was pacing by the time his cousin answered. From Hamish’s sheepish grin, she could tell the other man had been surprised to hear from him. “Yeah, it’s me,” Hamish said into the phone. “So, does that invite to the lake house still stand?”

“Lake house? Who’s going to a lake house?”

Vera cringed as Randall and Lilith wandered back into the room for another round of boxes. It was moments like these she wished she had her magic, so she could magically shut him up.

Thankfully, Lilith slapped him. “He’s on the phone, idiot,” she hissed.

“But I want to go to a lake house,” Randall complained anyways.

Hamish looked over at the pair. “No,” he said into the phone. “I didn’t plan on bringing anyone.”

Lilith quickly slapped a hand over Randall’s open mouth, grabbing him in a headlock as she did so. Vera sighed and stood up, just in case she needed to get out of the way.

Gabrielle entered the room a moment later, taking in the scene with a look of confusion. “Randall!” she snapped, singling out her on again, off again boyfriend.

At that same moment, Lilith let out a disgusted shout and uncovered his mouth, hitting him in the side of the head instead.

Hamish sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, I need to go. But I’ll be there next week.” A moment later, he shoved the phone back in his pocket and turned on his friends. “Seriously?” he asked unhappily.

“I just asked a question,” Randall protested.

“I think we’ve done enough for today,” Vera cut in sharply. “I’m tired and I don’t feel like listening to a bunch of children arguing.”

Hamish, thankfully, backed her up instantly, shooing them out of the room and escorting them out. Vera sat back down and tossed the loose pictures back into the box before clipping the lid back into place. She looked around then. They’d gotten a lot done. The bookshelves were cleared off, most of the books boxed until they found a new home on another shelf somewhere. The various knickknacks and souvenirs she’d gathered over the years had been packed away too, most of them finding their way up into the attic until she could decide what to do with them. Once the last of the boxes were moved, all that was left was the furniture, which they planned to store at Hamish’s apartment in town for the time being.

It all seemed a little surreal. She’d bought the house because it was bright, and sunny, and cheerful. She’d needed the contrast, when she spent so much time in the dark, underground Temple. The number of bedrooms had been inconsequential. She’d never expected to need either of the spares. The only reason this one had a bed in it was because turning both of them into an office seemed a bit redundant. She’d certainly never pictured this room becoming a nursery.

Hamish came back in a few minutes later, after the house had gone silent. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, concerned as always.

Vera nodded. She felt drained, but that wasn’t anything new these days. She held out a hand. “Help me up?” she asked, and he pulled her to her feet. “They’re gone?”

Hamish grinned cheekily. “The house is all ours again,” he confirmed, reaching to pull her close.

Vera gave him a small smile and shook her head. “Not now.”

Hamish looked confused as he followed her into their bedroom, right up until they reached her large, walk-in closet and she asked him to get down one of the boxes she kept stored on a top shelf.

“Are you sure?” he asked, giving her an out if she wanted it.

“I said I’d show you.” It was time. Not just for him, but for her as well. She’d never shared these memories with somebody else. They were private, locked away in a box, the same way they were locked away in her heart, and only brought out when she was already breaking down from the weight of it all. She’d never looked at them, just to remember.

She had to take a steadying breath as Hamish pulled the box down and she gave Hamish a small smile when he glanced her way. He led the way over to the bed, setting the box to the side as he sat down and settled himself in the middle. Vera arched a brow but she secretly appreciated it when he tugged her in front of him, pulling her back against his chest and wrapping both arms around her middle. Vera reached for the old cardboard box and set it beside them. The album was on top, but she could feel Hamish’s attention lingering on what remained in the box.

“I kept some of her things,” Vera whispered, pulling out a tiny outfit. She spread the little onesie out across her lap, running her hand over the smooth, old fabric.

“She was so tiny,” Hamish commented. His hand lifted briefly, like he wanted to reach out and touch the outfit, before his arm fell back into place around her.

Vera gave a weak laugh. “Newborns usually are,” she said. His hand slipped around from her side to cover her belly and she knew he was thinking of their own baby, but he didn’t say anything. “I just kept a few things. The first outfit I brought her home in, her first pair of shoes, the teddy bear my aunt bought her, things like that.” With one last touch, she folded the onesie and put it back in the box.

She leaned back against him and took a breath before pulling the album into her lap and opening it to the first page. Hamish chuckled and she felt his thumb begin stroking her skin beneath the hem of her shirt. “My aunt insisted,” she explained, a tiny smile tugging at her mouth. The pregnancy pictures weren’t as difficult to look at. Maybe it was because she didn’t look particularly happy in any of them, not like the pictures from the seven months afterwards. She’d been too young, and too scared, and too defeated to let the smile reach her eyes back then.

“You looked so young,” Hamish commented.

“Sixteen,” Vera said softly. She pointed to the first picture, where she was just starting to show a little bump. “That would have been around my birthday, I think.” She snuggled closer to him. “My parents actually came for it, but no friends or anything. I mostly remember my dad just staring at me, every time he thought I wasn’t looking.”

She let him take in the pictures, her hand covering his.

Hamish touched one of the last ones. “When was this taken?”

Vera gave a small laugh. She knew what he was asking. Her younger self was standing in front of the camera, looking completely miserable and pleading, while dressed in a hospital gown as she cradled her heavily pregnant belly in her hands. “That was taken to commemorate my _second_ trip to the hospital, for what turned out to be Braxton Hicks.” She felt him laugh silently behind her. She slapped him lightly on the leg, trying to force herself to remain upbeat. “Don’t laugh. I was a kid, it fucking hurt, and now you’re putting me through it again.”

“Sorry,” he said, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Mmhmm,” Vera hummed. She flipped to the next page, where she was once again dressed in the hospital gown. “This was the day she was born,” she said quietly. These pictures were difficult to look at as well, for a different reason. The hours she’d spent in labor, even after the epidural had taken away the actual pain of it, without her parents at her side, had finally caused her to lose hope that things would ever go back to the way they’d been before. It had been an ending, as well as a new start.

One of Hamish’s hands moved to squeeze her shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry they weren’t there,” he whispered.

Vera looked over her shoulder, surprised he could read her so well. She gave him a small smile. “Just promise you will be,” she murmured, even though she knew she didn’t need to ask.

“I promise. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” His hand dropped back to her belly and rubbed gently. “And there is no way I’m missing this little one’s first breaths. They couldn’t keep me away if they tried.”

“I know,” Vera said softly. And then she slipped her hand into his, lacing their fingers together. Her fingers brushed the edge of the page, working up the nerve to turn it. Hamish squeezed her hand.

“You don’t have to-”

“I _need_ to,” Vera stressed. Softening her tone, she continued, “I need to see her. I need you to know her.”

She needed to do this now, before there was a new baby in her arms. As much as she hoped the baby would look like Hamish, as much as she hoped it would be a boy, there was every possibility that in six months time, she’d be looking down at her little mini-me again. She needed to take these next months to come to terms with her past, to be able to look at Alyssa and not blame herself for what happened. Vera had been trying to cope with it alone for so long, but maybe what she needed was someone to share it with. And she wanted Hamish to know. She wanted their baby to know about his or her sister. She didn’t want Alyssa to be forgotten, like she’d never even existed.

Hamish nodded and tugged her a little closer, wrapping his arm more snugly around her. “Okay,” he said. “But we can stop at any point. We don’t need to do this all at once.”

Vera hesitated. “Maybe…maybe just the first page,” she agreed. Maybe if she set a goal, just one page at a time, maybe she could learn to get through this.

She flipped the page.

There were words at the top of the page, but Vera ignored them, her eyes going to the pictures instead.

In the first picture, a scrunched, red faced baby with a headful of dark hair screamed her displeasure at being born, held up by the doctor for her first picture and Vera’s first look at her daughter.

In the second picture, a much younger Vera was holding the baby against her chest, staring down at the little girl in wonder. Alyssa had still been crying and Vera’s hand was stroking her chubby little arm, her mouth parted as she murmured some nonsense or other in an effort to calm her.

Then came several more pictures. Her aunt had followed them around the room as they cleaned Alyssa up, took her measurements, and finally wrapped her up before delivering her back into Vera’s waiting arms.

“Are you okay?” Hamish asked quietly, after she’d had a few minutes.

Vera swallowed thickly. “Yes,” she squeaked, but when his arm loosened, she grabbed it until he’d tightened his hold on her again. She could feel her eyes starting to burn with unshed tears but they didn’t fall. Not yet.

“We don’t need to talk.”

Vera squeezed his hand in thanks. For a long while, she looked at the pictures and forced her breathing to remain steady. A few tears slipped out but her vision hadn’t totally blurred over. Finally, she brushed her fingers across the words printed at the top.

**Alyssa Anne Stone**

**May 11, 1999**

**6 lbs 5 oz**

**19 inches**

Then she shut the book. One day at a time. One memory at a time. She could build on this.

Hamish kept holding her until she felt ready to put the album back in the box and close the lid for the day. She turned and gave him a small smile, barely more than a twitch of her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered. For not pushing her. For supporting her.

He nodded. “Why don’t you go take a bath? I’ll go see what I can make for dinner. Nothing to heavy,” he added, before she had to ask.

“That sounds great,” she agreed.

Now that she was nearly at the end of her first trimester, she’d been hoping some of her energy would return and she wouldn’t be spending so much time too exhausted to do more than curl up on the couch when she got home. Like most things in her life, her wish had not been granted and she’d be lucky if she made it more than an hour past dinner before she was ready to crash into bed for the night.

But she knew it wasn’t just the pregnancy, either.

With warm water running in the tub, Vera slipped out of her clothes. She sighed as she looked in the mirror. A large bruise was already beginning to form on her side, where Hamish had squeezed just a little too tight. She pulled the concealer out of her kit, the one that matched the pale skin of her abdomen rather than her face. She would need to find an excuse to see Matti tomorrow, so she could get the bruise healed before Hamish noticed it.

Vera had had them run her bloodwork again, when they pulled blood for the baby’s genetic screening. She had recognized the bruising. The bloodwork had only confirmed it. Her red blood cell count was lower than it had been in years. OTC supplements weren’t going to be enough to keep it in check. It was what she’d been concerned about from the beginning. She’d already asked Matti to look into it for her, unwilling to upset Hamish over something that he couldn’t do anything about. She just needed a way to keep her numbers up until the baby was born. And then, once her body wasn’t expending precious resources growing a new person, hopefully her body would stabilize again. But she wasn’t going to panic. She could still manage this. She needed to.


	37. The Cousins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blugh. I don't think I really like this one. I think it's my longest chapter yet, but it was really hard to stay motivated. I rewrote it, and rewrote it, and erased and started over, and changed the POV several times. It ended up being mostly a cousin's POV. But blah, you get what you get so I can move on to the fun, upcoming chapter! lol. 
> 
> And I went with all Scottish origin names for the cousins. Hamish is such a different name, and I looked it up and the surname Duke can be traced back to Scotland too. So I figured maybe there's some strong family pride there to end up with the name Hamish, so I carried it on.

Vera rolled her eyes as her phone rang. Again. “I’m still okay,” she answered, restraining a small smile.

Hamish chuckled self-consciously. “I was just checking in. We stopped for gas but we’re about ten minutes away now.”

“Mmhmm,” Vera hummed. “And I imagine Randall needed more snacks?”

“I certainly wasn’t going to try and stop him,” Hamish admitted. “How are things going there?”

“The same as the last time you called.” Two hours ago.

“You’re not doing too much, are you?”

Vera huffed, shaking her head. “Hamish,” she chided gently. “You would think I haven’t lived on my own for most of my adult life. And yes, I may be pregnant now, but that doesn’t suddenly make me incapable of caring for myself,” she added.

“I know,” he agreed. “But I also know you.”

“And you’ve already got your friends hanging around here all day. _We are fine,”_ she insisted. She had agreed to it, only because she could sense Hamish backing out of going away for the weekend. It was also the reason she’d insisted he take Randall with him, using the excuse that _she_ didn’t want to deal with the obnoxious wolf herself. There was no way Randall would let him back out, if he was getting to go along. “Just enjoy your weekend, Hamish. It might be the last one you get for some time.”

She heard him take a breath. “I think I’m just getting anxious,” he admitted.

“And they’re just going to be happy to see you,” she assured him. He’d received no less than seven calls over the past week, from cousins excited to reconnect. “Besides, you brought along the perfect clown to lighten up any tense moments.”

Hamish laughed. “True.” He paused for a moment. “Randall’s back so I guess I’ve got to go. I-, ‘ll see you Monday.”

Vera paused for a heartbeat. She could tell that wasn’t what had nearly rolled off his tongue. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what those words would have been. “I’ll see you Monday.”

_I’ll miss you,_ she decided, as she hung up the phone. She could handle an admittance of longing. It was already obvious anyways. And, honestly, the house already felt a little empty with Hamish gone.

Brushing aside the unexpected emotions that sprung up, she headed for the spare bedroom. The three Knights were in the process of disassembling the bedframe so they could move it out next…or Jack and Lilith were working on it while Gabrielle supervised and pointed out any hardware they dropped.

“I’m thinking Thai for lunch. What do you three want?” When they hesitated, she rolled her eyes. “I’m paying, obviously.”

Ainsley Duke could barely contain her excitement. She kept standing up and wandering over to the side door to glance outside. So far, the main gate remained closed.

“Has anyone heard from Hamish yet?” she asked, turning back to the others gathered around the large living room. It was just the cousins waiting; their significant others having been sent into town for the day. It had been nine years since Hamish had last joined them for the weekend, nine years since he’d dropped off the face of the earth and stopped returning their calls. It had been Graeme’s idea that they try not to overwhelm him with too many new faces at once.

“You talked to him last night,” Eoin called out. Like her, he’d been amongst the first to arrive and had taken the brunt of her impatience. But Hamish had always been her favorite. At only a year younger, she’d idolized her quiet, well-mannered cousin, compared to the rougher, rowdier progeny of her other two uncles. Hamish had always joined in the boys’ games, but he’d had time for her too, without making her fight and scream about every little thing. She’d missed him.

“I talked to him this morning,” Graeme answered. “He was getting ready to leave, but it’s almost a four hour drive, and there might have been traffic.” Her brother walked up and patted her shoulder. “He’ll be here, Sissy.”

Ainsley huffed but didn’t correct him on the name. To her family, she would always be Sissy. The downside to being the _only_ girl. She’d been thrilled when the boys had started bringing girlfriends to their family gatherings.

It was another half an hour before a car pulled up to the front gate. Ainsley loudly shrieked her delight and was waiting by the sliding glass door when the car parked beside Ty’s white Porsche. She waited…and no one got out. Stepping out onto the porch, Ainsley squinted and tried to make out the figure in the car. Or figures.

She leaned back inside. “Did you know he was bringing someone?” she asked to anyone who might answer.

Graeme shook his head, along with the others, but said, “No, but I told him he could.”

Ainsley kept watching. “It’s a guy?” she said, as the dark haired young man exited the car first.

Her youngest cousin, Findley, arched an eyebrow at her. “Do you have a problem with that?” Finn’s boyfriend was currently out shopping with the wives and girlfriends of the rest of the group.

She held his gaze firmly. “You know I don’t. I’m just…surprised.”

Graeme stood up and came to stand beside her, putting his hands on both her shoulders. “No questions,” he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. If anyone was going to scare him off, it wasn’t going to be her. She’d been the one to suggest they all hold back in the first place, though Graeme, of course, had been the one to present it to the others.

She looked out the door again. The driver’s side door had opened and Hamish was standing beside the car, saying something to the shorter guy. The other guy nodded exaggeratedly, then slung a duffle bag over his shoulder. Hamish then followed his lead, pulling his own bag from the backseat and then they made their way towards the steps.

And just like that, Ainsley’s patience was gone. She felt her brother snatch at her arm but she darted out of his grasp and took off. She launched herself down the steps, tackling Hamish in a bearhug as he reached the base. He chuckled, hugging her back.

“Hey, kid,” he teased.

Ainsley hugged him tighter. Hamish had grown up since she’d last seen him, as a still somewhat gawky, lanky boy still months from his twentieth birthday. But then they’d all grown up since then.

She released her grip and stepped back as the rest of the crew began making their way down behind them. Hamish greeted them all with fist bumps or one-armed hugs and slaps on the back.

He nodded towards the younger guy beside him. “This is Randall. He’s-”

“Your boyfriend?” Ty spoke up, apparently not having heard the direction to _not_ ask. His twin elbowed him.

From the exasperated look on Hamish’s face, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard it and wasn’t the correct answer either. “More of a little bro that I’m _still_ having to look out for.”

“You’re in a fraternity? Which one?” Eoin asked, sounding surprised. Hamish had been fairly adamant about not joining one, back when he’d first started college. But maybe things had changed.

But Hamish shook his head. “It’s not really a fraternity. It’s more of a-”

“Gender neutral collective,” Randall finished for him.

“I was going to say, small club specific to Belgrave,” Hamish finished himself.

“Oh. Cool,” he said, then turned to Randall and stuck out a hand. “I’m Eoin. And my brothers, Tadgh and Tavish,” he said, indicating the twins.

Randall made a face. “Like Tiger Woods?”

The twins rolled their eyes. “No. But Ty is fine.”

“And that one is actually Tavish, not Ty,” Eoin said, pointing at Tav. “Just remember, Tav is in blue. Ty is in red. We make sure of it whenever the family’s all together.”

Ainsley smiled. “And can you believe the twins are Eoin’s _older_ brothers,” she teased. Poor Eoin had always been the serious one, stuck in the self-appointed position of reeling in his wild older brothers’ antics. “I’m Ainsley.”

“We all call her Sissy,” Ty corrected.

“I will answer to either,” she relented.

“Graeme,” her brother stepped forward.

Randall shook his hand. “You’re the one Hamish has been talking to.”

Graeme laughed. “I think everyone here’s called him at least once." Graeme was just the one that centered as everyone’s main point of contact for get togethers, seeing as he was the oldest and they’d learned someone had to do it.

Jocky, who was the next oldest by about six months, finished out the introductions of himself and his brothers. “And I’m Jock. And my brothers, Ewan, Lachlan and Findley,” he said, pointing to them each in turn.

Ainsley smiled to herself when she saw the expression on Randall’s face, followed by a stern look from Hamish. “The Dukes like to stick with our Scottish roots,” she said. “It could have been worse.”

Randall gave Hamish a look and snorted.

Hamish shook his head. “Randall, no.”

“Oh, fine, Lameish.”

Hamish just continued shaking his head with a weary look.

Randall grinned. “So, when Hamish said lake house, I was thinking he meant _lake house,_ not a whole fucking resort.”

“It’s not a resort,” Hamish said flatly.

“There are multiple houses. It’s a resort,” Randall said.

Hamish didn’t look amused but several of the guys laughed. It was true, they’d added several small guest ‘cottages’ over the years as the family expanded. Graeme slung an arm over Hamish’s shoulders. “Come on. I’ll show you where to put your bags.”

Graeme gave a brief tour as he led the way to the second-floor bedrooms. After they’d dropped their stuff in one of the unclaimed rooms, it was quickly agreed that they should all head down to the dock and everyone scattered to grab their bathing suits.

An hour later, Randall had fully immersed himself into the rough and tumble lot that was Lachlan, Ewan and the twins, and was happily throwing himself in their games of attempting various ways of drowning each other. Or that’s what it looked like to Ainsley.

Hamish, on the other hand, was quiet, in a way that he hadn’t always been. He sat on the dock, a few feet away from where Graeme and Jocky were talking, and watched everything around him with a small, sad smile. Ainsley smiled at Finn briefly, shooting a glance towards their somber cousin, and then hopped out of her float and swam back to the dock.

“I’m glad you came,” she said, grabbing her towel and sitting down on the ground beside him.

He took a breath. “It was time.”

“So what are you doing now? Your parents told us you dropped pre-law and went into…psychology?” she asked hesitantly.

“Philosophy,” Hamish corrected with a smile. “I’m finishing up my Masters.”

“And then?”

He shrugged and gave her a wry smile. “Doctorate?”

Ainsley laughed. “Are you ever planning to leave Belgrave?” she teased.

Hamish shifted, bringing a leg up under him. “I don’t know. I have enjoyed teaching.”

“So what? You’re thinking of becoming a professor?”

“I’ve been giving it some thought,” Hamish admitted. He looked over as Tadgh suddenly popped up out of the water, pulling himself up onto the dock.

“Tell us the truth,” Ty teased as Tavish and Ewan started to pull themselves up beside him, only for Lachlan to grab Ewan’s legs and yank him back down before taking his spot. “You just like being surrounded by hot, young girls.”

Ainsley started to tense and looked at Graeme and Jocky. They all knew Cassie’s death had really screwed with Hamish’s head but no one knew how he’d handle the typical cousin teasing. From what his parents had reported over the years, he hadn’t shown any interest in dating since. At least not that they knew of.

But Hamish’s friend barked a laugh, climbing up onto the dock beside them. “And yet he’s only got eyes for teacher,” he sighed dramatically.

“Randall,” Hamish warned as a chorus of groans echoed around the group.

“Nooo,” Lachlan moaned. “You’re one of those guys now?”

Ainsley jumped to her cousin’s defense. “It’s not like he’s eighteen still. Some professors wouldn’t be much older than him,” she offered.

Randall just kept grinning. “Well, technically, she’s the Chancellor, not a teacher,” he corrected himself.

“I think that might be worse,” Tav whispered.

“I thought Chancellors were usually old men,” Ty agreed.

Hamish gave Randall an unimpressed look. “Belgrave’s Chancellor is _not_ an old man, and I’m fairly certain she’d expel Randall for implying that.”

Randall rolled his eyes. “She hasn’t yet, so I’ll take my chances.”

Ainsley arched a brow. “Did you actually do something that the _Chancellor_ got involved?” Ainsley wasn’t sure she even remembered the name of her college’s Chancellor.

“Our club had been working with her the past year,” Hamish explained.

“Wow,” Graeme said. “That sounds like a big deal.”

Randall snorted, seemingly unimpressed, but Hamish nodded. “We’ve learned a lot.”

Randall shook his head and made a whipping motion with his hand, mouthing the word and drawing several chuckles.

“So, you were saying something about teaching?” Graeme said, ignoring Randall.

After that, Hamish slowly started opening up, talking about professors and classes and his students, and filling them in on bits of his life over the past nine years. He encouraged the others to talk as well, asking questions about the girlfriends and wives he hadn’t met, about jobs and houses and their lives. Ainsley watched him sadly though, recognizing the huge gaps in his own story that he bypassed with questions to one of the cousins. But he was here. He was back, and he was trying.

Over the next day, Ainsley had seen more and more of her favorite cousin return as his willingness to joke around and join in emerged, and he’d quickly charmed the many women who’d joined their group over the past years. The weekend went by too quickly, and by Sunday evening, the majority of the cousins had already left for home to prepare for work the next morning.

Hamish’s friend had joined Graeme, Eoin and their girlfriends for a card game, when Ainsley realized Hamish had disappeared. Randall didn’t seem the least bit concerned and waved her off, so Ainsley stepped outside to search for him herself.

She finally spotted him sitting alone on the dock, staring out over the lake at the setting sun. She topped off her wine glass and went to join him. Hamish glanced over his shoulder when her bare feet touched the wooden boards and gave her a small smile, quiet again.

“Cassie loved this view,” he said softly. It was the first time he’d mentioned her all weekend.

Ainsley sat down beside him. “None of us have known what to say,” she admitted. She could still remember her mother walking into her bedroom that morning. Uncle Niall had just called and told her Hamish and his girlfriend had been in an accident. Hamish was okay. Cassie hadn’t survived. Ainsley hadn’t wanted to believe it.

“I can handle talking about her,” he said. “It took a long time. Years. But you don’t need to tiptoe around it.”

“I wanted to reach out so many times.” But everyone had told her to give him space, to let him grieve. She often wondered if that had been the wrong advice, if she should have pushed it. And then as time passed, it seemed too late to fix it.

“I wouldn’t have accepted it…I was in a really dark place, where I thought it was easier to push everyone away. It hurts less if there’s no one you’re close to.”

“Hamish,” Ainsley said sadly. She’d known Cassie’s death had devastated him but it still hurt to hear. “Well, I’m glad you finally reached out. We’ve all loved having you back this weekend.”

He nodded, already looking out across the water towards the sunset again. “You know, I never told her I loved her,” he said sadly.

Ainsley blinked. Hamish had been head over heels from the first time they’d met Cassie, everyone had seen it.

“It just seemed like such a big deal, you know?” he continued. “I’d never been in love before. I wanted to be _sure._ Like, if I said it, that was it and it wouldn’t be just empty words. And then she died, and it was too late to tell her.”

“She knew,” Ainsley told him. “We all could see it. She wouldn’t have needed the words when you showed it in your actions.”

Hamish sighed. “You would think it would make it easier to say it, but instead, I’ve spent years not even letting myself admit that there are people I love.”

“If you’re talking about us, we never thought you didn’t. And if you’re talking about your friends, from what I’ve seen of Randall, they already know.”

He gave a tight smile as he nodded. When he glanced down at his phone for probably the fifth time though, she hesitated.

“Expecting a call?” she pried as carefully as possible.

He glanced over at her. “She won’t,” he said quietly, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

Ainsley’s eyes widened at the easy confirmation. “Wait, what? Who’s _she?_ Are you dating again? Why didn’t you say anything? Who is she? What’s she like? Why didn’t _you bring her?”_ she questioned rapidly.

Hamish laughed, leaning over to ruffle her hair like she was a little kid again. “Easy, Sissy,” he said. Letting out a heavy breath, he said, “Yeah, I’ve been seeing someone. Don’t say anything, please. I haven’t told my parents about her yet.”

“Oh, is that why you didn’t bring her?” Ainsley guessed. Findley in particular had been a horrible secret keeper in his younger years, even if he’d gotten better.

He shrugged. “In part. I wasn’t sure how I would have explained it, if all of you found out before Mom and Dad. But it was Vera’s idea for me to come without her. I think meeting everyone at once would have been too awkward for her.”

“Why would it be awkward?” Awkward seemed like a strange word. She could understand shy. Graeme’s fiancé was shy, and it had taken several visits for her to start opening up, but Ainsley wouldn’t have used the word awkward to describe it. Then her eyes got wide again as she remembered Randall’s teasing remarks. “Wait. Hamish, tell me you’re not dating your Chancellor?!”

Hamish was barely containing a smile. “She’s only thirty-seven, Sissy,” he said. He looked down, his smile broadening slightly. “And that should give you a hint about what she’s like. She’s probably the smartest person I know. She can be intense. She expects a lot from people, but she expects even more from herself. She’s-“ He shrugged. “She’s amazing, really.”

“The Chancellor.” Ainsley shook her head, smiling for him. “I’m surprised you had the nerve to go after her,” she said. But really, how well did she know Hamish anymore? He may have pulled away from their family, but he would have grown over these last years as well. Maybe he was the kind of man with that kind of confidence in himself.

He looked down, chuckling. “We officially met a year ago. The club I mentioned yesterday? One of the things we consider is campus safety. There was an incident last spring that introduced us. There was an attraction from that first meeting, but I never actually intended to act on it. But after the summer break, she approached us about working on some projects she was overseeing and after that, we ended up crossing paths a lot. We didn’t realize this until months later but there was a, uh, misunderstanding and she thought I was telling her I was interested. So we both thought the other had made the first move.” He glanced over and gave her an awkward smile. “It was just supposed to be sex, at first,” he said, cringing slightly.

Ainsley snorted. Growing up with so many male cousins, she wasn’t embarrassed easily.

“Neither of us were looking for an actual relationship. After Cassie…” he didn’t elaborate. “And Vera’s got her own past too. I don’t even know when things started to change. We started working together more and more, and she started asking for my opinion on things, outside of the rest of the club, and it just…kind of happened when we weren’t paying attention.”

“And it’s serious?” she asked, although she could already tell it was. “Like, we can count on you bringing her in the future? When can we meet her? How about Thanksgiving? Does she celebrate?” She leaned over and threw and arm around him, giving him a quick hug. “I’m so excited for you,” she squealed.

Hamish chuckled and looked down. “Probably not Thanksgiving,” he said.

Ainsley pouted. “Boo. Does she have plans with her family? She could invite them? We’ve got the space.”

He shook his head. “She doesn’t talk to her family. And I know she didn’t do anything for Thanksgiving last year. I had to show up at her door with food and make her stop working for the evening,” he said, laughing slightly.

“Then _come,”_ Ainsley pleaded, grabbing his arm like a little girl while he laughed. “Jocky and that gang haven’t come in years, so it’s just Eoin and the twins. And you met Tavish’s wife – she’s a gold digging tramp.”

“Sissy!” Hamish bust out laughing.

“It’s true! Gran even called her that when we saw her at Easter.”

Hamish was still chuckling. “Not this year,” he told her. He watched her, something calculating in his gaze, before looking down and pulling out his phone. He opened something on it, then handed it to her.

It was a short video, paused on the image of a dark haired woman with a pale complexion and an amused twist to her red lips. Ainsley hit play and the woman started walking away from the camera, glancing over her shoulder.

“ _I said no,” she was saying._

_“Just one,” Hamish asked, his voice light and teasing._

_She looked back again, her brow furrowing. “Are you filming me?” she laughed. “_

_Yup,” Hamish said cheerfully. “If you won’t let me get a picture…”_

_The woman shook her head and stopped, turning to the side. She was still laughing quietly as she tugged her top up, revealing a little, protruding belly. “Better?” she asked._

_The camera zoomed in, focusing on the woman’s belly. “And here we’ve got Baby Duke at twelve weeks,” Hamish was telling the camera. “Mommy’s belly is getting more obvious every day.” “_

_Who do you think is going to be watching this, Hamish?” The camera flashed up to her face, where her lips were pressed tightly together to hold back her laugh. The picture shook with a presumed shrug. She reached out and took the phone from him. “You are not sharing videos of my belly to the world,” she said, right before the video cut off._

Ainsley stared at the phone a moment longer before looking up. “Hamish…” she said in disbelief.

Hamish was wearing a lopsided grin. “So you understand why family’s been on my mind lately…” was all he said.

“When’s she due?”

“The baby should be here in time for Christmas.”

Ainsley didn’t have any words so she just hugged him. “I’m so happy for you. You _sound_ happy,” she said, handing him back his phone as she pulled away.

He nodded. “Once I got over the scared shitless part. It wasn’t something I even thought I wanted anymore, but it happened and…” He trailed off, shaking his head and smiling.

“You realize your mom’s going to turn into a sobbing mess when you tell her.”

“It’s why I thought this was something I should tell them in person. I never mentioned Vera to them. The last time they were home, we were still keeping things quiet and didn’t have any plans of changing that, so I didn’t see the point in telling them anything. Then when we did start talking about maybe going public, the next thing we know, she’s pregnant. It all happened too fast to fit introducing her to my parents in.”

“But maybe you could mention _having_ a girlfriend?” Ainsley suggested. “You do talk, right?”

“Sometimes,” he confirmed. “Not enough.”

“Think about it, okay?” she told him. She let out a sigh. “Damn, Hamish, you’re making me wish I didn’t have to leave tonight.”

“Vera did tell me to invite some of you over for a weekend,” Hamish offered.

“I will definitely be taking you up on it.”

Monday morning, Hamish drug Randall out of bed and into the car as soon as the sun came up. Randall had grumbled before grabbing a sweatshirt to use as a pillow and going back to sleep in the car. After two nights away though, Hamish was in a hurry to be on the road and, unable to sleep any longer, he didn’t see the point in waiting. It had been nice to reconnect with his family, but he was ready to be home.

Four hours later, he dropped Randall at the Den and headed straight for Vera’s office. Whatever she was doing, maybe he could hang out and then take her somewhere for lunch.

As he approached the administration building, he noticed an older man pacing outside on the steps. He kept walking up to the door, then turning around, muttering to himself all the way. When a secretary happened to pass by, she paused.

“Can I help you?”

The man stopped and faced her. With his wire-rimmed glasses and carefully pressed suit, he was such a stereotypical professor, Hamish would have thought he worked there, if he wasn’t also so obviously nervous. “No, no. I’m just here to see someone.”

“Maybe I can direct you,” the woman offered. “Who are you here to see?”

The man let out a breath. “My daughter.” After a moment, he added, “We haven’t spoken in some time. She’s the Chancellor here, actually.” There was a note of pride in his voice, but Hamish froze in his steps, all the same.

The secretary looked confused. “I’m sorry? Do you have the right school? I thought Chancellor Stone’s father passed away earlier this year?”

Hamish could see the man’s, Vera’s _father’s,_ face go white before he looked down at his feet.

Hamish rushed forward. He gave a nod to the woman, familiar enough he recognized her, even if not by name. “I can take this,” he offered. She nodded, relieved. Hamish looked at the smaller man. _This_ was Vera’s father, the man she’d idolized as a child, the man who’d nearly crushed her when she’d already been vulnerable. Hamish clenched his fists, fighting to keep Tundra in check. “Mr. Stone?” he said coldly. “I’m Hamish Duke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger. It's partly to keep me motivated to sit down and write out this next chapter. lol. I've got a lot of bits and pieces already done. I just need to sort through it and make it cohesive. Vera's thoughts always get jumbled when she's stressed so I've got lines, and thoughts, and plots, but none of its in order. lol.


	38. Grandparent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took longer than I thought. My full day of writing Sunday turned into a couple hours before bed and this was a super long, detailed chapter. Eek, hope you like it. I had it in the back of my head the entire time I was writing the chapter where Vera told Hamish about her father.

“Mr. Stone?” he said coldly. “I’m Hamish Duke.”

He could see there was no glimmer of recognition in the man’s eyes. His name meant nothing, whether that was because his wife hadn’t mentioned it from their brief encounter over the phone or he just didn’t remember. But he supposed it was no surprise that the man was intelligent as well, and he was reading Hamish like a book.

“You’re Vera’s…” he trailed off questioningly, keeping his eyes downcast.

Boyfriend? Baby’s father? Partner? None of the words seemed to fully encompass what Vera was to him, so he just nodded instead.

“I’m Charlie. I-, don’t know if she told you that,” he said hesitantly.

Hamish shifted. When he’d imagined her father, _this_ wasn’t what he’d expected at all. He’d pictured someone more like her mother, outspoken and judgmental. “What are you doing here, Mr. Stone?”

“Her card…and the baby, I wanted to…it’s past time,” Charlie said haltingly.

There was a part of Hamish that wanted to chastise the man for only coming back because of the news of a grandchild, but he held himself back. If there was any chance the man was here to apologize for the past, if he could give Vera some sort of closure on that part of her life, Hamish wanted to give her the chance.

“I’ll ask her to come outside,” Hamish relented. “She’s not going to want to do this publicly.” The campus was mostly deserted for the summer, so the chance of someone walking past was slimmer than the chance of being overheard, or worse, feeling trapped, inside her office. Hamish pulled out his phone and then paused, turning a stern gaze on the older man. “I hope you understand, if this upsets her in any way, if Vera says leave, you leave.”

Charlie gave a quiet nod of acceptance. “Of course,” he whispered.

Hamish stepped away before he made the call to Vera. He’d briefly debated over what exactly to tell her, but settled on nothing. He knew Vera would stress either way, and the shorter the time she had to work herself up, the better. And he had to admit, he wanted to see her face when he told her. It would give him a better idea of how far to let things get before he stepped in and sent the man on his way.

A few minutes later, Vera appeared behind the lobby doors. Hamish stepped forward enough that he was blocking her father from view. Vera stepped outside, looking both pleased to see him, as well as confused. She stepped towards him.

“Hi. So what’s this about?” she asked with a small, almost amused smirk. She glanced around, like she was expecting something to pop out at her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that kind of surprise.

Hamish reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Your father’s here,” he told her.

Vera stiffened. “What are you talking about?” she asked warily. “My parents live in _Washington.”_

“He’s here,” he said gently, with a look over his shoulder.

Vera followed his gaze. For the briefest second, longing flashed in her eyes before she beat down the emotion, her walls going up quicker than Hamish had ever seen before. She crossed her arms over her chest, taking a step backwards. “No.” It was all she said before turning and going back inside.

Hamish nearly followed her, but when he glanced back, Charlie had half risen from a bench several yards away. Hamish watched him sink back down, looking sad but not surprised. Hamish looked at the doors, before choosing to go over to her father instead.

“I’ll talk to her,” Hamish said.

Charlie was fiddling with something in his hand. “No.” With a sigh, he held his hand out, offering him a set of keys. “Could you just give her these? I should have given it to her a long time ago.”

Hamish stared at the man’s open hand. “Vera’s not much of a car person…”

“Just…give her this one. The, uh, the title’s in the glovebox. All you have to do is take it in.”

Hamish took the keys.

Vera glared at him as he entered her office. “Is he gone?”

Hamish nodded. “Yes.”

“You should have just told him to leave. You shouldn’t have made me come out there.”

He came around the side of the desk and leaned against its edge. “I think you should talk to him,” he told her gently.

She snorted. “Why? So I can get a repeat of the speech I got from my mother? No thanks.”

Hamish shrugged. “Because you’ve been sending cards for twenty years. You’ve been holding on, and I don’t think it was ever your mother you were holding onto. That day she called, when you told me about how things used to be, it wasn’t hearing about your mom that made my heart break. It was your dad, and I think maybe you owe it to yourself to get closure on this.” He crouched down beside her, setting a hand on her swelling belly. “Before this baby comes.”

Vera held his gaze before finally breaking away.

Hamish nodded, knowing he needed to give her time. He set the keys on her desk. “He asked me to give you these.”

She looked at the keys blankly. “Keys?”

“The car, I think. He said the title was in the glovebox…he said it was something he should have give you a long time ago.”

Hamish didn’t expect Vera to go pale, or to bolt up and hurry out the door. He followed her back out to the parking lot, where she looked around frantically. Her search finally ended on an old, 60’s model ford truck. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks.

Hamish watched her, at a total loss about what was happening. He set a hand on her shoulder. “Vera?”

She looked up at him. “It’s the car he was working on when I was fifteen,” she whispered.

In that instant, Hamish understood. She’d thought her father had tossed her aside, and yet he’d kept the last project he’d been working on with her for twenty-two years. And from the looks of it, he’d had someone fix it up for him, rather than risk destroying it himself.

Vera kept staring at the car in shock.

“Do you want to call him?” Hamish asked quietly.

Vera looked torn, stuck somewhere between hope and despair. Finally, she pulled out her phone, only to hold it out to him. “Give him our address. He can come by this evening,” she whispered.

Hamish stepped away to make the call, leaving her to cautiously approach the old truck. He wasn’t certain what to find the contact under, but he searched and found it quickly under Daddy.

The phone barely had a chance to ring before her father answered with a hopeful “Vera?”

“It’s Hamish, sir.”

“Oh. Um, yes?” Hamish could hear the man’s hope fall away, not quite rising again, even after Hamish had passed on Vera’s request. But he said he’d be there.

Vera’s ability to push down her emotions and carry on, even when they were being fueled by pregnancy hormones, both amazed and saddened Hamish, reminding him of how much practice she’d had over the years. Even her daughter’s birthday had swept by unnoticed, swallowed up in a sea of other responsibilities, before it occurred to Hamish that Vera had never mentioned it. All Hamish wanted to do was take her home and attempt to distract her, but maybe work had always been her best distraction. And so, Hamish went home to ensure the house was tidy – of course, it was – and check that the refrigerator was stocked – which it wasn’t.

Hamish shouldn’t have been surprised when the Uber driver pulled into the driveway before Vera made it home.

“She’s on her way home,” Hamish said as he opened the door.

Charlie nodded, taking in the house with wide eyes made bigger behind thick glasses. “Is this-”

“All Vera’s,” Hamish confirmed. “I own an apartment in town.”

Hamish stayed quiet as Charlie wandered through the living areas of the house, looking but not touching. Neither of them asked any questions. Hamish didn’t want to be the one to say more than Vera would want him to.

It was only a few minutes before Hamish heard her car pull into the drive, and then the front door opened. Vera’s heels clicked across the tile floor as she hurried inside. Her eyes flashed to her father as she dropped her purse onto the couch. Hamish started to approach but she gave him a cringing smile.

“Sorry. I really need to pee,” she said, pressing a quick kiss to the side of his mouth before darting past him towards the bedroom.

Hamish chuckled as he watched her disappear. Her father watched her too.

“How far along is she?” Charlie asked, in that quiet tone that Hamish was beginning to think might be his true voice.

“Twelve, almost thirteen weeks,” Hamish told him. And then silence again.

“I’ll go check on her,” Hamish said, when Vera didn’t immediately return. He didn’t wait for a response, already recognizing that there wouldn’t be one.

He could hear Vera pacing the floor of the bathroom. She paused when he opened the door and peeked inside. “I don’t want to go out there,” she admitted.

“I can ask him to leave.”

“No,” Vera sighed. She met his gaze, seeking comfort there. “What could he even have to say, Hamish?” she asked. “Why now?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But you’re not going to get those answers in here. We can ask him to leave any time you want. Remember, _you_ don’t owe him anything.”

She nodded, stepping into his arms for a moment and allowing him to hold her. When she finally stepped back, she glanced down, smoothing a hand over her blouse. “Is it really obvious today?” she asked. Some of her tops were starting to follow the curve of her belly, accentuating rather than hiding it. It wasn’t something that seemed to bother her most days.

“You look great,” he assured her.

She huffed. “So that’s a yes.” She looked up at him. “The last time I was pregnant, all he did was stare.”

He set a hand on her back. “You’re not fifteen.”

“I feel like it, right now,” she whispered. “I’m right back where I was, pregnant and trying to figure out how to explain this to him.”

“No,” Hamish told her firmly. “He’s not here for you to explain anything.” He moved his hand down to her belly. “This baby? Is frankly none of his business. This is ours. You don’t need to explain to anyone how it happened, or justify any choices in how we plan to raise our baby. _They_ don’t matter. Right now, we are here so that maybe you and your dad can clear the air. It won’t change the past, but maybe you can stop holding onto it. And afterwards, if you want to keep sending birthday cards, or if you want to cut them off entirely, or if you want to try to let him back in, I’ll support whatever you choose.”

“Thank you,” Vera whispered.

“Are you ready?”

“No,” she said with a small huff of laughter. But she took his hand and followed him back out of the bathroom.

Her father was still standing where Hamish had left him. Vera glanced at him but didn’t greet him, leading Hamish over to the couch instead.

“You _can_ sit down,” she told him, her voice sharp. Hamish set a hand on her lower back, _Easy,_ and she let out a breath.

Charlie sank into one of the chairs across from them. “You saw the truck?” he asked quietly.

Vera nodded. “I saw.”

Her father looked down. “It’s what took me so long to get here. I needed to arrange some time off work to drive it out here.”

Vera stared, dumbfounded. “You drove it across the country?” she asked in disbelief, and he chuckled.

“Only because I didn’t do the work myself.” He looked away again. “I meant to give it to you years ago.”

“When?” Vera whispered.

Charlie shrugged. “I don’t…I left it sitting in the garage for a good year, after…took it to a mechanic the next fall to have it fixed up. It, uh, it needed a lot of work. I was planning to give it to you for your seventeenth. Tammy said you’d gotten your license?” he said, almost in a question. “But then, the baby…and that truck had been…and I wasn’t sure if you’d-,” he explained in a quiet, halting manner. “Time just got away from me after that. Before I knew it, you’d graduated and gone clear across the country, and you never came back. The more time that passed, the harder it was to reach out.”

Vera had clenched her jaw. She looked up, blinking against tears she refused to let spill over. “Why now?” she asked hoarsely. “After _twenty-two years,_ why are you reaching out now?”

“Getting that card. Finding out that you’ve got another baby on the way, a grandchild-”

“You didn’t _want_ to know Alyssa. Why should I let you know this one?” she asked, her voice growing more choked with each word.

The man stared down at his hands. “I’m not asking you to…it just seemed like a sign. Maybe it was time to stop holding onto that old car.” He wiped his palms on his pants. “I’ll go now. I didn’t come here to upset you. And…you can do whatever you want with the truck. It’s yours.” He stood up and headed for the door. Vera didn’t try to stop him. He paused briefly and looked back. “I, um, I want you to know, I am proud of you. I always was. You-”

That was all it took for Vera to start sobbing. Charlie looked alarmed.

Hamish pulled Vera into his lap and let her tuck herself against his chest, her face buried in his neck. He looked up at Charlie. “Wait?” he requested. As difficult as it was, Vera needed this. She needed to deal with everything that had happened when she was a teenager. She’d been bottling it up for too many years, and Hamish was getting the impression that things weren’t as black and white as she’d pictured them. Her father had hurt her deeply, but he’d clearly not forgotten about her either.

Charlie gave a small nod and sat back down without a word. Hamish wanted to ask if her father had always been this quiet, this soft spoken. He couldn’t picture Vera, who was so strong and outspoken, coming from such a man. He had never thought to ask what kind of man her father had been. He’d witnessed how Vera’s mother had spoken to her, and he’d knew the man had essentially cut her out of his life after she’d gotten pregnant. It had had him picturing some imposing man with a booming voice and hateful words…not this meek, mild-tempered man. It left Hamish with his own set of questions.

Her father waited patiently until the tears slowed and Vera was nestled under Hamish’s arm, her knees tucked up under her.

“I expect you’ve got some things to say to me?” Charlie said.

Vera wouldn’t, or couldn’t, look at him, focusing on a button on Hamish’s vest instead. “Why didn’t you want me anymore?” she asked quietly.

“I never didn’t want-” he started to say.

She gave him a look of disbelief. “You sent me to live with Aunt Tammy. You had me packed up in less than a week.”

“I thought I was doing what was best for you. You were already having trouble with the kids at school. I thought a fresh start would be better.”

“I was fifteen and I was _pregnant._ Did you really think I wouldn’t be the laughing stock of the school?” She wiped impatiently at her cheeks. “I may not have been popular at home, but at least I knew people there.”

Her father sighed, keeping his eyes averted. “It was the mayor’s boy you were accusing, and his friends. I thought I was protecting you.”

“From what?” she asked, pleadingly. “I _never_ told anyone but you and Mom. Nobody would have suspected any of them of being her father.”

Charlie kept staring at his hands. “You may not have said anything,” he said slowly, “but there were already some whispers around town. About that party. And about you and some boys going up-” his voice broke off, not wanting to say it. “I beat it down, where I could, but as soon as you told us you were pregnant, I knew I needed to get you out of there.”

Vera was crying again, tears streaming down both cheeks. “I didn’t care about the rumors. I needed you.”

“I didn’t know how else to help you,” he said softly. “I-, didn’t know how to handle any of it. One minute, you were my baby girl. The next minute…”

“I wasn’t perfect anymore,” Vera said bitterly. “I’d screwed up all your dreams of me making something of myself and getting out of that town.”

“You were fifteen, and becoming a mother. I felt like I’d failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me until you left me alone.”

“I let your mother push you into going to that party. I knew you thought those kids were bad news, but they were popular, and your mother-”

“I _wanted_ to go, Dad. It wasn’t Mom pushing me.” Vera looked down, almost seeming ashamed. “I never got invited to stuff like that. I was too busy being the brainy kid, the know-it-all nobody liked. But they invited everybody for that end of summer party.” She shrugged weakly. “I figured, what would it hurt? I didn’t have exams to study for, or homework, or afterschool activities. It was one party…” she whispered.

Her father stared at her, confused. “You told me your mother-”

“I didn’t want to tell you _I_ wanted to go. I knew you’d believe Mom pressured me into it.” She wipes at her eyes again. “It doesn’t matter, anyways. You still never came back for me. You didn’t even come see me.”

“I thought I’d…I couldn’t face you.”

“Then you’re a coward,” Vera said bitterly.

He didn’t argue. “I was never as strong as you, Vera. I would have left home myself, if I was. But from the time you were a baby, you always had this insatiable need to know more. Nothing was ever enough. I wanted to give you so much more than the kind of life home could have provided, but the only way I knew how was to prepare you to take on the world yourself. Once those plans started changing…I’ve never been good with change.”

Vera shook her head, biting her lip as she stared at him, hurt etched all over her face. “You wouldn’t even come get me when I was in labor.”

He glanced down. “Tammy was always better at that kind of stuff than I was.” A faint smile curved on his lips. “I passed out more than once when you were being born. I wouldn’t have been any use-”

“You should have come! You could have been there, at least! I was sixteen, Dad. Aunt Tammy couldn’t get off work right away. It hurt, so bad, and I barely understood what I was supposed to be doing. I needed you there.”

Charlie looked away, not even attempting to find an excuse.

Vera seemed to have found her voice though. “And then, you and Mom didn’t bother to come see us after Alyssa was born.”

He opened his mouth to reply.

“Don’t,” Vera snapped, no longer wanting the excuses. Her father was weak. That was all it was boiling down to. “How many times did you even see her when she was alive? Six? Seven? And then I lost my baby. I watched her die in my arms, struggling to breathe while I couldn’t do anything to help her. And do you remember what you did? You made Aunt Tammy fight to keep me. My daughter had just _died,_ and you didn’t even care.”

“I thought being home might help, that maybe it would be easier for you,” Charlie said meekly.

“Well, it felt like you were just sweeping the whole thing under the rug. No baby anymore, so everything could go right back to normal,” she said, giving a bitter laugh. “I didn’t want it to go back to _normal._ I wanted my baby.”

“I couldn’t do anything to give you that back…”

Vera nodded to herself, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “What do you want from me?” she asked abruptly.

Her father blinked. “Nothing-”

“You didn’t _drive_ across the country for nothing.”

At first, Hamish wasn’t sure the man was going to give her an answer. “A chance,” he finally said. “I know I handled…everything, wrong. I won’t push though.” Hamish wasn’t sure that man had pushed for anything in his life.

“And Mom?” Vera asked.

He hesitated. “Your mother…is still your mother. I won’t speak for her.”

Vera gave a small nod. “I can’t promise we’ll ever get back to a functional relationship,” she told him.

“But maybe more than the cards?” he asked wistfully.

Vera swallowed thickly and nodded. “Maybe,” she whispered. “How, um, how long are you staying in town?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t bought the plane ticket yet. I didn’t know how long the drive would take me.”

“When do you have to be back at work?”

“End of the week. Said I’d take the weekend shifts for the next month.”

“Okay,” she murmured. She glanced up at Hamish, as if judging his response, and he tried to maintain as supportive an expression as possible. This was all her choice. “I don’t have a guest room anymore, we’ve been clearing it out for the baby’s room, but if you stay another day or two, maybe we could do dinner?” she offered uncertainly.

“I could spare a couple days,” Charlie agreed.

Vera let out a breath.

Charlie started to stand. “I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. Give you two some time alone now.”

“Do you need a ride?” Hamish offered, checking with Vera as he said it.

“No, I’ll just catch another of those Uber things. They’ve been pretty fast, so far.”

“Hamish can take you, Dad,” Vera said softly.

But he shook his head. “I can find my way on my own. I’d rather he stay here and take care of you.”

Vera nodded, accepting. “At least wait inside until the car gets here.”

“Alright.”

After they’d seen Charlie to the door, Hamish hugged Vera to his chest.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Hamish thought he understood. Her father definitely was not the superhero she’d seen him as as a child, but maybe he didn’t need to remain the villain in her tale either. Her mother on the other hand…Hamish couldn’t see her being anything other than the evil witch.

Vera passed out, emotionally drained, as soon as Hamish managed to get some food into her. He lay beside her for a time, watching her sleeping peacefully, before retreating from the bedroom. It was still too early, and he had too much on his mind.

He ended up sitting on the couch, staring down at his phone. His parents would be up by now, in whatever country they were in this week, all the way on the other side of the world. The past few days kept circling his mind - seeing his cousins again, his talk with Sissy, Vera’s father. Before he could lose his nerve, he hit call.

The phone rang several times, nearly turning over to voicemail, before it clicked over. “Hamish?” his mother, Elaine, answered, sounding concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to check in,” Hamish assured her.

“Oh, good. We heard from Craig that you went to the lake this weekend,” she said, happiness evident in her voice. “Here, let me call you back. I want to see you.”

Before Hamish had a chance to protest, the call shut off. He waited and a moment later, a FaceTime request appeared. He accepted it, quickly trying to make himself look more upbeat than tired.

“There you are,” his mother smiled at him. “You look tired.”

Hamish chuckled. “It’s been a long few days.”

“I’m sure.” She turned to look over her shoulder. “Niall, come here. Hamish is on the phone.”

A moment later, an older version of himself appeared on the screen beside his mother. “Hello, son,” he greeted simply.

“Dad,” Hamish said with a nod.

“So how was it?” Elaine asked encouragingly.

“It was good,” Hamish said, quickly giving them a quick overview of the weekend. “That, um, that’s actually why I’m calling. I was going to wait until you got home, but I was talking to Sissy, and-”

His father sighed heavily. “Are you changing your major again this year?” he asked wearily.

Hamish blinked. “What? No.” Yes, maybe his first few years were a bit chaotic, but he’d stuck with Philosophy for the past six years.

His mother leaned in closer to the camera. “Where are you, Hamish? That doesn’t look like your apartment,” she commented, clearly trying to see more of his background.

He let out a huffing laugh. “I was getting there,” he told her. “I wanted to let you know, I’m dating someone.”

His mother started grinning instantly. _“Finally,”_ she gasped.

His father only sighed again. “That Randall boy?”

“Niall!” Elaine shrieked, slapping him.

He looked at her, unamused. “He said someone. He didn’t specify a woman,” he argued his point.

“She’s a woman!” Hamish cut in, ending the argument before it got any further. He could _almost_ get how they’d gotten that impression. They’d met Randall more than once since Randall had joined the Knights, Randall was the only person in his life they’d met…

His father was still looking at him like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Then just tell me she can drink legally.”

“Niall,” Elaine hissed.

Niall glanced over at her again. “If he was waiting to tell us, if Ainsley had to convince him otherwise, there’s something about this he thinks we’re not going to like.”

“It’s nothing bad. I think you’ll like her, actually,” Hamish told them.

“But?” his father pressed.

“It’s not a _but._ Not for us, anyways. She is older, though. She, um, she’s actually Belgrave’s Chancellor. She’s thirty-seven,” Hamish added quickly, before he could get any comments about her age. “It’s not a big deal, to either of us, but I know it can get some odd looks sometimes.”

“Nine years,” his mother said, like she was trying to convince herself. “That’s not bad.”

His father had relaxed, a small smile tugging at his mouth. He, at least, was going to approve. Hamish had chosen someone with motivation, someone who wasn’t looking to be a trophy wife and leech off the family trust fund. Vera’s position would add acclaim to the family – he knew his parents would be looking ahead already – much more than his role as the eternal student with a less than impressive-sounding major. His father couldn’t ask for much more. “Are you at her house then? Can we meet her?”

“She fell asleep a little while ago. But I do want you to meet her.”

“How long have you been seeing her?”

Chuckling, Hamish gave them the same story he’d given Sissy, glossing over the bit about just how casual casual had been in the beginning. His mother ooh’d and aww’d, like he’d expected. He’d just finished up when he heard a sound behind him.

“Hamish?” Vera’s voice called sleepily from the hallway. She stopped as she spotted him, arching a brow questioningly.

“My parents,” Hamish told her, shrugging one shoulder.

“Hamish?” his mother called, trying to get his attention.

Hamish looked back at Vera, silently questioning her. With a sigh, she nodded and approached. He turned back to his parents. “Mom, Dad, this is Vera,” he said, holding the phone further away so they could see Vera once she’d sat beside him. “These are my parents, Niall and Elaine,” he told Vera.

“Well, aren’t you pretty as a picture,” his mother said.

“Thank you?” Vera replied, glancing at Hamish with amusement.

“Hamish tells us you’re the Chancellor at Belgrave?”

“I am,” Vera said, pausing to cover a yawn. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

Niall chuckled goodhumoredly. “I imagine the work never ends with your job.”

“That it does not,” Vera agreed. “I hope you don’t mind if I don’t talk long. I am exhausted and I’ve still got a full week ahead of me.”

“Of course,” Niall agreed.

“Another day, perhaps?” his mother suggested.

Vera gave a nod.

“We’ll have to arrange to have dinner when we’re back home next month,” Elaine added.

“We will,” Hamish agreed. He leaned over and gave Vera a chaste kiss before she stood. “I won’t be long,” he told her.

“It’s alright,” Vera told him. “Stay and talk. I just came to see where you’d gone.”

“Oh my goodness!”

Hamish glanced back at the phone to find his mother wide-eyed, her hands covering her mouth.

“What it is?” Niall asked, as confused as Hamish.

Elaine hesitated. “Vera, please, pardon me if I’m wrong in this. Are you pregnant?”

Hamish heard his father cough as he looked over at Vera. She looked startled, but he noted for the first time that she was sitting with her hand resting just above her little, swollen belly, which wasn’t masked in the slightest by her pajamas. He replayed the last minute, realizing his phone must have dipped when he’d leaned over. His parents must have gotten a glimpse of Vera’s hand over her belly, even if only his mother recognized it.

Vera met his eyes, questioning. Hamish took her hand and squeezed, before looking back at his parents. “Yes,” Hamish admitted. “You’re going to be grandparents.”

His mom was already looking weepy. “Oh my goodness,” she said again, quieter this time.

“I’m happy,” Hamish told them quietly. “We weren’t planning it, but I’m really happy.”

“Well, congratulations. When are you due?” his father asked Vera.

“December 23rd.”

His parents looked at each other. “I guess we’d better plan on being in the country for the holidays now,” Niall suggested.

His mom nodded. Hamish could see tears streaming down her face. “A grandbaby,” she said in awe. She looked up suddenly. “Do you know what it is yet? Or is it too soon for that? All the new tests these days…” she trailed off hopefully.

Vera wiped at her eyes and Hamish looked over to see that she had tears brimming as well, although she was also smiling weakly. “We could have found out when they did the genetic screening, but we’re going to let it be a surprise,” she told them.

“Genetic screening?” his mom asked, concerned.

“My doctor suggested it because I’m over thirty-five,” Vera explained. “It’s just bloodwork to look for certain markers. Everything came back normal.”

“Oh, wonderful,” his mom said, before giving a small laugh. “Pregnancy gives a whole new meaning to the word exhausted, doesn’t it?”

Vera actually laughed. “I don’t actually think Hamish knew what I looked like asleep before this. I’ve always been more of the ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ type.”

“You’ll appreciate that once the baby comes,” Elaine said with a smile. “You know, I was older myself by the time Hamish came along. It was certainly an adjustment. If you need any advice, or help, just ask. Although Hamish has been taking care of you, I hope?”

Vera chuckled. “Yes, he always has.” She looked down, taking a deep breath. “And this isn’t actually my first. I had a daughter when I was young. She, um, she passed away.” She looked up. “Thank you, though.”

Hamish was watching her, surprised, and she gave him a weak smile. His parents looked horrified.

“I am _so_ sorry. I didn’t-” his mother started to say.

Vera shook her head. “It’s okay,” she said softly. She looked at Hamish. “I’m going to go back to bed. You can stay and talk.”

“No,” Niall said. “We’ll let you go. We can talk another day, when we’ve got more time.”

“Maybe we could cut our trip a bit short?” Elaine suggested.

Niall sighed. “I’ve got meetings scheduled right up until the last minute…but I’ll see what I can do,” he added, seeing his wife’s sad expression.

“There’s no rush, Dad,” Hamish said. He glanced down, feeling a little guilty. “I’ll try to call more.”

“Please, do,” his mother said. She gave Hamish a warm smile. “I am so excited to have a baby to spoil.”

“She’ll be shopping all day today,” his father said, laughing good-naturedly.

She gave him a look. “Well, I’ve got more than overpriced souvenirs to shop for now. There are some of the _cutest_ outfits in some of these places,” she cooed. Her expression softened. “I’m so glad to see you happy again, Hamish. Enjoy your evening.” She turned to Niall and slapped him lightly. “Hang up the phone.”

Hamish chuckled. “Bye,” he said before the call cut out.

“They seem nice,” Vera told him.

“They are. They’ve put up with a lot from me over the years,” he told her. They had so many questions, and he’d never been able to give them any of the answers. But he didn’t want to think about that. He grinned at Vera. “I was expecting you to be more anxious about meeting them,” he admitted.

She rolled her eyes. “I deal with parents constantly in my job. I am capable of appearing to be a likeable person.”

He threw his arm around her and tugged her to his side. “I like you.”

“You’re an exception,” she said, holding back a smirk. Rubbing her arm, he said, “I wasn’t expecting you to tell them about your daughter.”

Vera leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I want our baby to know her. That’s going to mean your family will find out too. I’m already so emotionally drained after today, it seemed like there was no reason not to get it out of the way.”

“Well, I can promise you they won’t bring it up again unless you do,” Hamish assured her. He slipped out from under her, smiling at her indignant look, before scooping her into his arms.

“Hamish!” she squeaked, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Shh,” he hushed her playfully. “My mother did say I needed to take care of you.”

“I don’t think this is what she meant.” As he turned for the hallway, she said, “I can walk.” He still didn’t put her down. “Fine,” she relented, as they reached the bedroom door. “But only because I’ll be too heavy for this before long.”

Hamish snorted. “I could carry you, even without Tundra’s strength.” He set her gently on the bed before crawling in next to her and she snuggled up against him.

Suddenly, she sat up, looking down at him with narrowed eyes. “Am I going to like your mom’s taste in baby gifts?”

Hamish laughed. “She is entirely responsible for how I turned out, so I don’t know, will you?”

She settled back down. “I’ll live,” she murmured. He could hear the smile in her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to flow right from Vera's dad to Hamish's parents. We'll get more of Vera's POV next chapter, when she meets with her dad again, as well as Charlie finding out just how badly he damaged Vera with his choices.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the delay. Life got busy, and I just had no motivation to write during the moments where I did have a chance to sit down. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for all the reviews! I really wanted to show that separation between imagination and reality with Vera’s father. Whenever you hear about a loved one being hurt by someone, people always seem to picture this big, loud bully, not someone meek and self-doubting. And I think, with Vera, it would be harder for her to be hurt by someone that comes straight at her. With someone harsh (her mother, for instance), Vera’s the type who would push right back. With someone like her father, there’s nothing to push against, and I think that’s the type that would hurt her far worse.   
> Plus, in a way, I think of Hamish as being a better version of her father. He’s got the traits she loved about her father (intellectual, quiet-tempered, etc ), without the extreme flaws.

**H – Has he always been this quiet?**

**V – Yes**

**H – So how do I get him to talk?**

Vera smiled to herself as Hamish’s texts came through. It had been a last minute decision as she’d prepared for work that morning. They’d made plans for her father to come over for dinner in the evening, but she’d still had a full day of work ahead of her. Hamish, on the other hand, had not.

She still wasn’t entirely sure why she’d asked him to pick her father up from the hotel and show him around. Maybe it was because she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of letting her father back into her life, and her heart, and so having Hamish continue to feel him out was reassuring. Assuming he could get past the one barrier Vera had forgotten about, in her years away.

She let her eyes close for a moment before responding. There was a time when her father had talked to her. Or she’d thought he had. She wished she understood why he couldn’t, when it had actually mattered.

**H – Is there anything he likes to do?**

**V – You could take him fishing?**

**H – Have you ever been fishing?**

**H – That’s an excuse to drink beer and not talk for hours.**

**V – I can’t give you an easy answer.**

**V – In case you’ve forgotten, I haven’t talked to the man in twenty years.**

**H – So fishing and cars…**

**V – He hates cars**

**H – But you said**

**H – Nevermind**

**H – I’ll figure something out**

Vera chuckled. Hamish was a smart man. Her father would like him, whether he spoke or not. She looked down and stroked her hand over the little swell of her belly, letting a small smile play on her lips. When she’d first realized that she and Hamish were going to have a baby, she hadn’t expected it to be _such_ a positive thing in their lives. She had never expected a day to come where she would try to open herself to the possibility of forgiving her father after so many years. And then there was Hamish, reconnecting with the family that had always been there but he’d been too afraid to keep close. All because of this unexpected little gift she hadn’t even realized she could still want, just a few short months ago.

Now, she couldn’t think of anything better she could have done with her final months than bring this child into the world. _This_ would be her legacy, this child and the bonds that were being renewed and strengthened because of him…or her. The idea of another baby girl was becoming easier to stomach, mostly because of Hamish. He was so good to her, picturing him with a baby girl just felt natural. Hamish would adore having a little princess to dote on.

A knock on the door pulled her from her musings. She looked up abruptly, not wanting to be caught caressing her belly. While word of her pregnancy had been spreading, rapidly, she did still have an image she wanted to maintain at work. She couldn’t let people think she was going soft now.

She glanced up at the clock on her wall. Her ten o’clock was already late. “Come in,” she called.

The door opened, only for Matti to appear. “Hey, Vee.”

She sighed. “I have got to find an actual position for you here,” she muttered. He was in and out of her office too often to not have an official role on campus. Hamish was already jealous of the man. Rumors, however unfounded, were the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment.

Matti barked a laugh. “As what? Janitor? Because I’m no professor.”

“I’ll think of something.” Maybe she could arrange to have him added to the school board. Or some sort of campus development program that could use a former park ranger. “Anyways, what did you need, Matti? I’ve got an appointment now that already running late, and I’ve got plans after work, so this had better not require too much of my time.”

He waved her off dismissively. “We can get into the details another day. I just wanted to see what you thought of a little collaboration between our dueling disciples,” he said with a grin. “Disciples and Knights, that is.”

She folded her arms and gave him a skeptical look. She had already _tried_ to integrate the Knights and the Order’s disciples. Neither side had appreciated it. Whatever collaboration he was planning, she didn’t see it working. But the least she could do was hear him out. “I’m listening.”

But Matti scrunched his nose, waving her off again. “Just toying with ideas to keep the Knights present for these upcoming little acolytes,” he said lightly, as if he was talking about a friendly game of ball. “We’ll talk specifics another day, when you’ve got time.”

Vera sighed. “You are not trying to turn my Knights into the big bad monsters looking over their shoulders, are you?”

“Of course not,” Matti assured her, his easy tone not reassuring in the slightest. And when he followed it up with, “I’m not so sure the wolves are the monsters in this scenario,” she groaned.

“Clear your schedule this weekend. I’ll text you details later.” She needed to know _exactly_ what he was planning, before he drug her and the Knights into it.

“Excellent,” he agreed cheerfully.

Vera watched him take a step towards the door and then shut her eyes. “Matti?” she called after him. “While you’re here…” It would save her from having to find him later.

He turned back towards her, his face turning grim. “Again?”

She didn’t say a word, only indicated the spot on her hip that was slightly discolored.

“Excited to see your wolf after his weekend away?” Matti teased gently.

Vera gave him a flat look. “Don’t make it weird.” Besides, if anything, Hamish had been almost torturously gentle with her since her pregnancy. It wasn’t his fault she bruised so easily now.

Matti smirked but otherwise healed it wordlessly.

“Anywhere else?”

There were a couple deep purple spots on her legs where she must have bumped into something, but that was it.

“When are you going to tell him?” Matti asked quietly once he was finished.

She glanced down. “When I know if it’s permanent.” She was _not_ going to worry him when there was still a chance she’d bounce back after the birth. She looked up and forced a smile. “Thank you, Matti, but I really need to get back to my job if I’m hoping to leave here on time.”

He nodded, accepting the abrupt change of subject. “Date night?” he asked. 

She would have preferred being drug out on one of Hamish’s date nights actually. “Dinner with my father,” she told him.

“Your parents are in town?” Matti asked, surprised.

“Just my father. I told them about the baby last month. My mother called, judgmental as always, of course. But apparently my father has decided to reconnect.”

“Are you okay with that?” he asked. She’d never told Matti the details of what had caused the rift between her and her parents, only that they’d had a falling out and never recovered.

“I think so?” she said uncertainly. “We talked some last night.” A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she looked down at her swelling belly again. “It’s time. Hamish is right, I’ve been hanging onto the past for too long.” This baby deserved more from her.

“Good for you,” he said with a small nod.

Matti walked out of the room, passing her ten o’clock on his way. Vera shuffled some paperwork on her desk. “You’re late.”

After work, Vera stopped by the little Italian place she’d been craving lately and picked up the order that Hamish had called in for them. Hamish had already set the table when she got home and was in the process of filling glasses.

“Where’s my dad?” she asked, glancing around.

“I told him he could look around. I hope you don’t mind,” he said, giving a sheepish grin.

Vera shook her head. Unlike her mother, she knew her father wouldn’t go snooping around. “It’s fine,” she told him, before calling out, “Dad, I’m home!” She looked back at Hamish then. “So, how’d today go?”

“No surprise, I did most of the talking,” he said, chuckling. “I did manage to get some baby Vera stories out of him, though.”

She arched a brow at him. “Oh? He didn’t scare you off the idea of fatherhood, did he?” she teased, drawing a grin from Hamish as his blue eyes flicked down to her stomach before meeting hers again.

From somewhere behind her, she heard her father’s familiar, quiet chuckle. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about there,” he said. “We’ve just been discussing his plans to take a semester or two off when the baby arrives.”

Vera looked at Hamish, surprised. “Oh? This is the first I’m hearing about this.”

Hamish’s smile turned a little sheepish as he shrugged. “We can still look into daycare, or sitters, eventually, but while the baby’s so little, I’ve been thinking I can afford to take some time off and stay home.”

Vera glanced down to hide her smile. He really was going to be an amazing father. “We’ll talk about it,” she told him. There was a part of her that worried that if Hamish took the time off, he’d never finish his degree. There was another part of her that recognized that the degree itself had never meant much to him. It was a way to stay on campus with the other Knights and not much more. Still, it wasn’t a decision she wanted him to jump into without fully talking it out first.

Once they’d finished dinner, filled with polite, distant conversation, Hamish offered to clean up and give Vera some alone time with her father. Vera couldn’t deny that she felt a hint of relief at the knowledge that Hamish would still be close enough to hear every word and could intervene if things got too uncomfortable.

“He seems like a nice, young man,” her father said awkwardly, once they were seated outside on the porch.

“He is,” Vera agreed.

“…your mother will like him, I think.”

Vera snorted. “Of course, she will. He’s an attractive, younger man with a trust fund. It’s everything she could have wanted for me.” He looked distinctly uncomfortable at her response and she rolled her eyes. “You know it as well as I do,” she told him. It was why her mother had talked about nothing but pageants her whole life, and why her mother had been furious when she’d gotten pregnant and ‘wrecked our plans’. Vera could still remember those words coming out of her mother’s mouth. ‘Who’s going to want you now? No decent man’s going to want to take on another man’s child.’ Vera had believed her mother’s words back then, having had nothing to prove otherwise at the time, or even for years afterwards, in fact.

“We just wanted you to have the best possible life,” he said weakly. From him, maybe she could believe that. But her mother just wanted what she herself had never been able to obtain. “I’m relieved, actually. All these years, I’ve worried that you…you never told us about anything going on in your life. We kept up with your school work, of course, anytime you got published or there was an article. And when you were selected as the new Chancellor. But I’m glad to see you’re doing well for yourself.” He glanced around, taking in her bright, airy home, and Hamish, visible through the large glass windows, before flicking his eyes down to her abdomen and then back away, as if he still didn’t want to look, all these years later. “This is…it’s everything I could have dreamed for you when you were little.”

Vera couldn’t choke down her bark of laughter before it escaped. She could see how it might look that way from the outside. She had a career she could be proud of. She had enough money to be quite comfortable and a nice home. She had Hamish now, who treated her well, and they were expecting a child together. Nobody could possibly recognize just how broken and tragic her life had been…still was.

Her father looked startled at her burst of laughter.

Vera pressed her lips tight and struggled to keep from rolling her eyes as she debated what, or how much, she wanted to tell him. “My life has not been some fairytale,” she finally told him. She wasn’t going to hide her past for his sake. “My life,” she said, slower this time, “is nothing that you would have wanted for me, as a child.”

“What do you mean?” She could see the concern in his gaze, the hope that she wasn’t going to make this perfect life he’d envisioned for her come crashing down.

“Nothing’s changed, Dad,” she told him quietly. “I was the outcast growing up, because I didn’t fit into that world. And I’ve been the outcast here, because at the end of the day, I’m still the scholarship kid who doesn’t _really_ belong.”

“But-” he said hesitantly.

“But what? I’m Chancellor of a prestigious university that caters to the elite, one-percenters of society? Sure. But that doesn’t make me one of them. I have to fight the school’s Board…” _Or the Gnostic Council._ “…over every decision I make. Bitch has pretty much become synonymous with my name, and not just with the people I work with. The students who know me as more than just a passing face are terrified of me. And it’s fine. I don’t need people to like me-”

“We’re not terrified of you, Vera,” Hamish said, surprising her with his sudden appearance in the doorway. “Most of us are a little in awe, actually.”

“Right, so says the one student that I’m fucking,” she corrected herself, ignoring her father’s cringing expression.

“We’re not just fucking and you know it,” Hamish told her calmly.

“No, because you went and knocked me up, so now everybody has to know.”

Hamish looked over at her father. “She gets cranky when she’s anxious.”

“I’m not anxious,” Vera protested.

Hamish ignored her. “We are _not_ just sleeping together,” he told her father. “Admittedly, that was how it started, but we were already basically living together when she got pregnant.”

“Hamish!”

He arched a brow at her. “You’re the one making it sound like we’re not committed in this. I’m not letting your father think that this was only supposed to be some quick fling and that I’m only here because of the baby. I’m not.”

“It _was_ supposed to be just a quick fling,” she muttered to herself.

Hamish walked over and sat down beside her. “Maybe it was, but it hasn’t been that for a long time, Vera,” he said quietly as he reached for her hand. “Not for me, at least.”

Vera nodded, not saying a word.

He looked over at her father again. “Vera and I are a lot alike. We’ve both been damaged by our pasts. We both struggle to let people in fully now. And I think that’s why we came together.” He looked at Vera intently. “I get it. You care, so much, but you’d rather let people see the person who’s always in control. The person who can’t be hurt by cruel words. But it’s a lot, which is why you drink.”

Vera looked up at him, horrified. “You did not just tell my _father_ I’m an alcoholic,” she hissed.

He shrugged, unabashed. “You’re the one that said the word,” he told her gently, knowingly. “And you know I don’t care. I am, too. I just accepted it first, but it took me almost dying last year to realize it.”

Vera wanted to strangle him for it, but somewhere, she knew it was true. Her pregnancy was the only reason she hadn’t had a drink in her hand from the moment her father had shown up. She’d been using it as a crutch for years, a way to power through the Council who didn’t respect her, and the spoiled students who didn’t care about anyone but themselves, and the deaths…all the deaths.

Vera set a hand over her stomach. “I haven’t had a drink since the day I found out I was pregnant,” she said, to who she wasn’t entirely sure.

“I know,” Hamish murmured.

“Is it…because of me?” her father asked, and she could hear the pain in his voice.

She sighed heavily. She knew what he was asking. Had _he_ broken her? She couldn’t give him the full answer, not without revealing more than she wanted about the secretive part of her life. “It didn’t help,” she admitted. “But it wasn’t just you. Or at least, it was others compounding with that initial hurt,” she amended, as she thought about it. Her father _had_ played a huge role in how she’d turned out, and she wasn’t going to hide that to keep his feelings from being hurt. Still, the horrified look on his face didn’t make her feel any better either. “I have repeatedly discovered that the safest option is to simply rely on myself, because nobody’s going to have my back in the end.”

“Vera,” Hamish called unhappily.

Vera rolled her eyes as she shot him a look. “Hamish has been proving me wrong, thus far,” she conceded. “And please,” she said to her father then, “don’t apologize. We got that out of the way yesterday, and if we’re going to try to have some sort of relationship, I don’t want it to be bogged down with constant apologies…especially because there is one more thing you should know,” she said hesitantly. “I’m sick.”

Beside her, Hamish tensed. His hand tightened around hers to the point of pain but she didn’t ask him to ease up. “Vera,” he called, but she ignored him.

“I have been,” she continued, before the shocked expression on her father’s face could give way to words, “for a number of years now. Not many people know. I accepted it, ages ago. But it, uh, it is part of the reason I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Or a baby…”

Her father’s face was ashen. “I-, what about treatments? There’s got to be-”

Vera shook her head. “Conventional treatments aren’t an option. There’s some Hail Mary that Hamish has been looking into, but I’m not putting this baby at risk on the slim chance it might work.”

“It’s not a Hail Mary, Vera,” Hamish said forcefully.

Vera looked at him tiredly. “It’s the very definition of a Hail Mary. There are _no_ other options.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she whispered, “I was okay with that…”

And now, every day she was less okay. She _wanted_ to be here. She wanted to see Hamish become the kind of father she knew he would be. She wanted to see her baby learn to walk, and find out what his first word would be. She wanted to be there on that first day of school, when she just knew she’d be a blubbering mess like all the other parents. She wanted the childhood playdates, and the first crushes, turning into first dates and first broken hearts.

But now, every new bruise, every day when her energy seemed to sap more and more, reminded her that she’d chosen her fate, and it hadn’t been the happily ever after. And every day felt more like she was getting her affairs in order, instead of preparing for a new baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to jump forward a bit again. I've got most of the next few chapters written out, so hopefully I can get them out quicker than this one, which was entirely from scratch with no playbook, so to speak. lol.


	40. Eighteen Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one jumps forward a bit over a month from the last chapter. Fair warning, I hope you have noticed that I’ve been building up to something. If not, I’m sorry? *sheepish grin*

Vera lay propped on an arm as she watched Hamish’s face as he ran his hand around her small mound of a belly. The fascinated adoration in his expression always made her smile.

“Are you sure?” he asked, a grin so big it threatened to split his face.

“Yes,” she said again, her own smile almost as big as his. She glanced down to where his hand was cradling her belly. “That was definitely the baby I felt this morning.”

“But-”

She arched a brow, daring him to make some comment about gas or indigestion. There had been a great number of things she’d forgotten about pregnancy, or maybe hadn’t experienced when she’d been so young the first time around, but she knew she recognized the tiny flutter she’d felt when Hamish had woken her, tugging her close and murmuring in her ear to pull her from sleep.

Hamish pressed his lips to hers gently. “You’re amazing.”

Vera snorted. “I’m pregnant, as are _millions_ of other women at this very moment.”

“Still amazing,” he said, kissing her again. With a sigh, he pulled away. “As much as I’d love to keep you here all day, Belgrave needs their Chancellor.”

“Don’t remind me,” she groaned, dragging her aching, weary body out of the bed. Just one more day, then she could rest. “What are you up to today?”

“I thought I’d swing by the apartment. My parents’ get in late Sunday night and I thought I could make sure the fridge is stocked and the sheets and towels don’t smell of disuse,” he said lightly.

“At least they know you’re living with me now,” Vera commented. “They’re not going to expect the place to look lived in.”

He shrugged. “It’s sort of become my routine every time they come into town. And they do still need fresh sheets and food.”

Vera shook her head, chuckling softly. She was fairly certain the Duke’s had a maid for this purpose, but it was just like Hamish to take the responsibility onto himself of making sure his parents would be set when they arrived.

Hamish watched Vera pull out of the driveway before checking his watch. He still had a couple hours to spare, so he really should stop by the apartment first. The maid would have already done the laundry and remade the beds earlier in the week, but he would need to stock the fridge before the end of the weekend and he _had_ told Vera he was getting it done today. He grabbed his keys and wallet and headed out the door.

Matti lounged at his desk in the dark, dreary Temple. He missed the sun…and the trees…and the peacefulness.

“Look,” he said abruptly, cutting off the disgraced acolyte midsentence, “this is the, what? Fifth time? you’ve petitioned to have your demotion revoked. What’s changed between the fourth petition and the fifth, other than my annoyance level?”

The girl only stared at him, at a loss for words.

Matti scrunched his nose, wondering if he’d gone from laidback Magus to Iron Fist Magus too quickly. Settling himself again, he gave the girl a gentler look. “I get that you don’t want to be stuck as an acolyte forever.” Hell, it was probably more than humiliating, knowing that some true freshman acolytes would be joining their ranks in a little over a month. Being the same rank as them, as a grad student with several years in the Order, would be one hell of a punishment. “But from what I’ve understood, your demotions, _plural,_ were because you refused to accept your Magus’s decisions regarding the Knights and chose to act without her approval. A Magus that you had been under for years at that point. And while the Knights no longer have a direct connection within the Order, we are sharing the same territory. I do not want a war, and I do not yet have proof that you wouldn’t play a part in starting one.”

Selena Durov took in a deep, steadying breath, but didn’t argue.

“But,” he conceded, “I suppose you could have requested a transfer at any time, and yet here you are. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to put you in charge of the upcoming neophyte trials. _If_ you make it to the night they’re inducted, without any infractions, I’ll reinstate you as a Medicum. It’s not Magistratus, but with time-”

Selena was already nodding her agreement when the sound of heels clipped across the stone floor outside, approaching rapidly. A moment later, Vera appeared in the doorway. She looked pale, even more than she had in recent weeks. She looked scared. Vera gave a passing glance at the girl standing in front of his desk, before turning her full attention to him.

“I need you,” she said, her voice carefully restrained.

“You’re not even supposed to-” Selena started to say.

Matti shot the girl a glare. This was one of _his_ duties to handle.

“Out. Now,” Vera hissed.

Matti waved her off and swung the door shut behind her. He’d have to finish dealing with her later. But damn, he hadn’t yet reached the bit where she’d be working with the Knights on the trials this year. He’d already been discussing the idea with Vera. Werewolves and Disciples together would be selecting the new acolytes. It would be a fun little test of cooperation and maybe if he could humanize the Knights _before_ they went all werewolf, these new kids would accept them. Hell, maybe if he humanized the _acolytes,_ maybe the Knights wouldn’t be so quick to kill them if they stepped out of line.

He looked back at Vera, curious what had her on such a short fuse, only to find her close to breaking. She was already losing control of her tears, and a few wet streaks had begun trickling down both cheeks.

“I’m bleeding,” Vera whispered, barely audible.

Matti was out of his seat and stepping towards her a heartbeat later. “How bad?” he asked.

Vera took a shaky breath. “Bad.”

Matti’s heart was in his throat. “Shit. Vee, I don’t know if a healing spell-”

“You can fucking try it!” Vera snapped, panicking. “Try all of them.”

He nodded, guiding her towards one of the leather chairs. Vera hesitated but then sat down anyways. He wasn’t sure her legs would have held her much longer anyways.

“And I need a ride to the hospital,” she told him, her voice weak again.

“Of course,” Matti agreed. “Have you called Hamish?”

She bit her lip and looked up, blinking back tears.

“No,” he said sternly. “You’re not leaving him out of this one.”

“I know. I tried calling him. His phone’s off.”

Matti breathed out. “Okay, we’ll find him. Just let me…” He hesitantly reached out and set a hand on her stomach. It was something he’d avoided before now. The action just felt too personal, even between friends. “Does this hurt?”

She shook her head.

Taking a breath, Matti ran through every healing incantation he could think of. Repair. Heal. Mend. Restore. So many subtle little differences, and he tried them all. When he was finished, he sat back. “Do you want to check if…” If it had stopped. If she was still bleeding. If she was still pregnant. He wasn’t sure how to finish it.

Vera shook her head, her face pale and anxious. “Just take me. I already called my doctor,” she said, wiping at her eyes.

“Okay,” he agreed, offering his hand to help her up.

There was blood smeared across the seat.

Matti rushed to magic it away. Too late.

Vera barely muffled a sob.

“Do you know where Hamish is supposed to be?” he asked.

“His apartment in town. His parents are supposed to be here this weekend.” She whimpered, looking away. “Oh God. They’re expecting to-”

“Don’t think about it,” Matti told her. “What’s the address?”

He scribbled it onto a sheet of paper, before guiding her out of the Reliquary.

“Durov!” he barked, searching for the girl. “First mission.” He shoved the paper at her. “Go here. Find Hamish Duke and tell him to call Vera. Don’t screw this up.”

Hamish stared down at the orange lilies in his hand. The flower shop near the cemetery had had them ready for him. Bright orange. Happy. Cheerful. The complete opposite of death. Hamish took in one last steadying breath and walked into the cemetery, hoping he’d beaten them there.

He hadn’t.

An older woman, her light brown hair streaked with grey, was standing in front of a headstone.

“Hey, Dawn,” he called quietly.

The woman turned around, her eyes lighting up as she let out a sigh of relief. She reached for him the moment he got close and pulled him into a tight hug. “We were so worried when you didn’t come last year,” she said quietly, her voice muffled in his shoulder.

“Circumstances that couldn’t be helped,” he told her. “Where’s Art?”

“Just getting some things from the car. Cassie’s cousins made pictures for her, this year. They asked us to bring them.” Dawn looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears, before hugging him again. “I was so worried.”

“I’m okay,” Hamish whispered.

Vera wasn’t going to panic. She wasn’t. Even sitting in a bed in a hospital room, wearing the stiff, scratchy gown the hospital had provided, she wasn’t panicking. She wasn’t going to lose her baby now. Not after four months. Not when she knew the baby had been alive, only a few short hours earlier. It wasn’t going to end like this. Maybe if she said it enough times, it’d be true.

Matti sat beside her and she wondered if he felt as out of place as he looked. It should be Hamish with her. Hamish, waiting to find out if their baby was still alive. Hamish, waiting to find out if it had all been for nothing. But in a way, she’s glad it’s not Hamish. She wasn’t sure she could face him, with her pregnancy possibly over and her having never told him she’d been having troubles in the first place.

Matti gave her an awkward smile when he caught her looking at him. His expression quickly turned to relieved when his phone rang, giving him an excuse to avoid saying something. Matti was quick with the jokes and the cheering up. He wasn’t so good with the serious.

“It’s Selena,” he told her quietly, before standing up and turning his back to answer the call.

Vera closed her eyes and laid her head back against the bed, tuning him out. She ran a hand over her rounded belly, as she had so many times before. This time, she was praying for some sign. A tap, a flutter, anything to tell her her baby was still okay, but it was still too early for wishes like that. Her baby wasn’t big enough to grant her that much. The bleeding had slowed, at least, by the time they’d arrived at the hospital. There’d still be so much of it though…

She was still stroking her stomach when Matti turned back to her, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“She, um, she says he wasn’t there,” he told her. “Is there somewhere else he could be?”

Vera blinked, stunned. “The Den, maybe?” But she wasn’t about to ask Selena Durov to go there. “Get my phone. It’s in my purse. Check with one of the Knights.”

“Any particular one?”

“Gabrielle,” she said, after a beat. She was less difficult than Randall, and less hostile than Lilith.

Vera paid closer attention this time, and so it didn’t come as a surprise when Matti shook his head. “They haven’t seen him.”

Vera stared blankly ahead, wondering where Hamish could be and why he hadn’t told her.

Arthur Williams hugged Hamish with one arm, around an armful of packages and posters. “Boy,” he said, “you’ve had us worrying every day for the past year when you didn’t show up.”

Hamish chuckled fondly. “Dawn’s already given me the lecture.”

“Damn right,” she agreed. “You don’t go off fighting monsters and then disappear without a word.”

“Not with us,” Art echoed. “Not after Cassie.”

“I promise, I’m fine,” Hamish assured them.

“You’re being careful, aren’t you?” Dawn asked. “No more of that save the world, do it on my own crap you pulled in the years after she died?”

“We’re running a full pack now, actually,” he told them. “First time in decades.”

“Even Silverback?” Art asked, sounding shocked.

Hamish looked down and smiled. It had always amazed him how open Cassie had been with her parents. Nothing had ever been a secret, even the Knights. And they’d been proud of her, _so_ proud, but he’d seen the fear in their eyes every time he’d met them. He’d heard the phone calls at all hours of the night, checking up if she hadn’t checked in. And he’d been the one to call them that day, to let them know it had happened. He hadn’t been able to protect her.

“Even Silverback,” he confirmed.

“And no…” Art trailed off, unwilling to say it.

Hamish glanced away. There was so much he wanted to tell them, and yet so much he was afraid would hurt them, because Cassie hadn’t gotten to live to see any of it.

“What is it?” Dawn asked, tilting his chin so she could look him in the eye.

“We’re good,” he told her. “Things have gotten…I don’t know if I want to say safer, but we’re on more even ground.”

“Hamish, you know we like to know, truly.”

He knew it. They felt responsible for him, in a way. Cassie had brought him into the Knights, and then left him alone soon after. He was their last remaining connection to their daughter, and the life she’d loved so completely. They were half the reason he came here, every year, on the anniversary of her death. He came to let her parents know that he was still alive, he was still okay, and he was still carrying on Cassie’s memory, in a way.

He nodded. “It’s too long of a story to explain fully, but the Knights made a _huge_ breakthrough this past year. There have been a lot of changes, boundaries put in place. They’re taking responsibility for their members, finally.”

Art narrowed his eyes. “And what brought about this change?”

Hamish shrugged, a smirk tugging at one corner of his mouth. “One of them defected.”

Art barked a laugh. “You finally got one of their students?” It was an idea he’d thrown around before. One Hamish had always dismissed as suicide.

“Two,” Hamish amended. “Silverback chose a freshman that the Order had already selected. And Jack did play a role, but we got another one too. Right from the very top,” he said, with a small laugh as he remembered Vera standing defiantly in their basement that day, over a year ago now. “Belgrave’s very own Temple Magus. Their leader.” He glanced down again, hoping they wouldn’t pick up on his feelings for Vera. “Like I said, it’s a long story, but she’s with us now. She’s been teaching us, helping us. It’s…amazing, really.”

Vera had sagged back against the bed the moment the doctor had left the room, relief evident on her face. She’d stopped bleeding. Her baby was still alive. Matti had watched her start crying when the rhythmic whooshing filled the room, the proof that she still had her child.

Matti didn’t feel any relief though. He _knew_ Vera’s situation was bad. Hell, he’d been healing her nearly every day for over a month. But he hadn’t realized _how_ bad until he’d seen that doctor’s face as he’d walked into the room, Vera’s bloodwork in hand. Vera was dying, and Matti wasn’t sure she even had the time left to go to term with her pregnancy.

Vera looked over at him and gave a small, weak smirk. “You can get me out of here now,” she told him.

Matti pressed his lips tightly. “Okay,” he agreed, holding up a hand when her smile started to broaden. “But! You’re telling Hamish about this when you get home.” He saw her start to falter and shook his head. “Nope. That’s it. That’s the only way you’re getting out of here. Either you tell him, or I will.” He went and sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her knee. “Vee, I don’t know if you were hearing the same thing I was, but you’re not doing so hot. And on that note, I’m not magicking away your results, or whatever it is you’ve been having Hamish do for you, either. That doctor was in complete shock at how quickly your numbers had deteriorated.”

Vera looked down. “I know,” she whispered. “And I’ll tell him.” Vera let out a shaky breath. “I’m not going to have time, am I?”

“Not unless something changes,” Matti murmured.

She met his eye, her resolve as strong as it had ever been. “I’m still not risking this baby to save myself.”

Matti squeezed her knee gently. “I know.”

Vera’s expression broke as she kept holding his gaze, her bottom lip trembling. “Can-, can you look for-”

He nodded, guessing what she was asking. “For if the baby comes early?” he finished for her.

She let out a breath, nodding. “It will,” she said, no doubt in her mind. “I’ve been looking up the side effects. Anemia can cause premature birth, even when the mother’s not as…” She closed her mouth tightly, clenching her teeth against a sob.

“You need to tell Hamish,” Matti said again, softly. She needed to prepare him. Chances were, he’d be losing her the same day their child was born.

She kept nodding, tears streaming freely down her face.

“She’d be proud, you know,” Art commented.

They were all lying on the grass, staring up at the clouds above them. Cloud watching had been a fond memory of Cassie’s parents, with their young daughter, and this was a day of memories, as much as it was a day of remembering.

“God, sometimes I wish she’d been able to see it,” he breathed. “And at the same time, I feel so damned guilty for wanting her to be here.”

Cassie’s mom sat up, a flash of surprise still lingering on her face before it melted into understanding. “You’re finally moving on,” she realized. It was the only reason he’d ever feel guilty about wanting Cassie back. When Hamish didn’t respond, she set a hand on his arm. “It’s _okay._ It’s been nine years, Hamish. Cassie never would have wanted you to hold onto her forever. Now, why don’t you tell us about this woman who’s finally gotten you to open up after all these years?”

Hamish sat up and looked uncomfortably at Cassie’s headstone, only feet away.

Her father patted him on the back. “Dawn’s right. Cassie would have wanted you to find someone. There’s no disrespect in talking about her here. We _all_ would have wanted to know about her. Would Cassie have liked her, you think?”

Hamish gave a short laugh as he thought about it. “I actually don’t know. Cassie had a strong personality too. Vera’s a great leader, but she doesn’t care about making people like her. I could see them butting heads.”

Dawn arched a brow, catching on. “Leader?” she asked, with a small smile. “As in, this _leader_ the Knights managed to steal away from the Order?”

Hamish smirked and glanced down.

“Vera Stone,” he confirmed. “Previous Temple Magus, and briefly, Grand Magus of the entire Order.”

“Does she know about Cassie?” Dawn asked.

He nodded. “She knows everything. And she probably gets it better than anyone. She actually lost someone too, someone she felt she should have been able to help, and that she never got over. I like to think we’ve helped each other come to terms with our pasts. I’ve been reconnecting with my family, actually. I just saw my cousins last months for the first time in years, and my parents are coming in on Sunday. I’m introducing them to Vera then.”

He went on to tell them a bit about Vera, just the thought of her bringing a slight smile to his lips. Cassie’s parents smiled, a tinge of sadness in their eyes.

“Kind of sounds like she may be the one,” Art said quietly.

Hamish swallowed thickly and nodded, glancing at Cassie’s grave again. Some days, it still felt so recent that he’d thought that would be _her._ He’d expected to spend the rest of his days with her. Now, he couldn’t picture his life without Vera in it. “I’m so, completely, hopelessly in love with her,” he admitted, blushing as he said the words out loud for the first time. “I haven’t told her. I don’t think she’s ready to hear it. But yeah…she’s the one.” He looked back at Cassie’s parents, a small smile playing at his lips. “We, um,” he glanced down for a second, then looked back up and shrugged, his smile getting a bit wider. “She’s pregnant, actually. I’m going to be a dad.”

A quiet gasp and then Dawn pulled him into a hug, tears coming to her eyes. “I am _so_ happy for you, Hamish,” she whispered.

“And Hamish,” Art said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. _“Tell her._ If you love her, tell her. It’s never too soon. There’s only too late.”

“I’ll think about it,” Hamish accepted. He knew Vera would fight it, but it was the truth. Not wanting to hear it wouldn’t change a thing. He loved her.

Matti had dropped her back at the house and it was only her oath on her unborn baby’s life that she would take a bath and then climb into bed and not move until Hamish got home that had kept him from staying with her. But she needed this time alone. She needed to decompress from the day and figure out how she was going to explain this to Hamish. She didn’t need Matti there to make Hamish tense from the onset.

Vera turned on the water and stripped out of the clothes that Matti had found for her at the hospital gift shop. She’d sent her bloodied clothes with him, with the instruction to burn them. Even her shoes. She’d never be able to look at any of them without remembering that moment when she’d rushed to the bathroom, thinking her bladder was giving out on her, only to find blood.

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the memory. It was okay. Her baby was okay. Even if her doctor had put her on full bedrest. Even if she did have a series of follow-ups scheduled, ones Matti had refused to magick her out of. Her baby was alive still, and that was all the mattered.

Vera climbed into the warm water, letting the last traces of blood that hadn’t been cleaned up at the hospital wash away. She relaxed back against the wall of the tub and looked down at her naked, pregnant body. Hamish had been right. It _was_ sort of amazing. The things a body went through to bring a new life into the world. The things a baby was capable of surviving, nestled away inside its mother’s womb…even inside her failing body, her baby was still alive.

The water had already started to cool when a text from her phone dinged.

**H – Headed home**

**H - Just saw you tried to reach me earlier. Sorry**

**H – Hope all’s okay**

**H – Thinking we could stop by the apartment and then pick up dinner?**

**H – I want to show you something**

**V – Sure**

She didn’t say anything else. She couldn’t, not if she wanted to look like she wasn’t about to break down when he got home. She stood up and stepped out of the tub, reaching for the wall when her vision swam momentarily. She shut her eyes until the spinning stopped and resumed drying herself off. Just to be sure, she checked for blood again, but nothing. She let out a relieved breath anyways, repeating the chant again that her baby was fine. For now, she just needed to get dressed and work out what she was going to say to Hamish.

Vera was tense and scowling when Hamish arrived home. He picked up on her mood instantly.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” he asked, once they were both seated in the car.

“You didn’t answer your phone today,” she said shortly.

He glanced over at her, surprised. “I’m sorry,” he said, truly.

“I might have needed you.”

“I shouldn’t have kept it turned off,” he agreed.

She glared at him. “You shouldn’t have _turned_ it off.”

He tapped the steering wheel with his thumb a few times. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “It…it’s the anniversary of Cassie’s death. I’ve met her parents at the cemetery every year since she died. I’ve always turned my phone off, and I didn’t think not to this time.”

Vera was quiet for a long while. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly.

Hamish sighed. “I don’t know. Because it feels weird, visiting my dead girlfriend’s grave when I’ve got you?”

“You know I’d understand,” she told him.

He knew she would. If anyone would, it would be Vera. But this had been his secret for so long… Even Randall still didn’t know.

But Vera also knew secrets, knew about getting in the habit of burying painful memories without a second thought. She reached for his hand. “Just tell me next time, if your phone’s going to be off,” she requested.

“Hamish,” Vera called.

He paused, turning halfway up the steps. Vera was still standing at the base of the staircase.

“I think I forgot something in the car.”

He took a step towards her without a second thought. “Do you want me to come with you?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got it. I’ll see you upstairs in a few minutes.” She held out a hand, a smirk toying at the corner of her mouth. “I need your keys.”

He quickly eased the apartment key off the ring and then tossed them down to her, smirking when she rolled her eyes as he reached for them, and then hurried the rest of the way up the steps. Unlocking the door, he opened it slowly and peeked inside. He knew it would be the same as when he’d left, only an hour ago, he wanted to check again, just in case.

The floor was littered in rose petals, blue, the only kind Vera seemed to like, even now. The food he’d dropped off right before heading home was still in the oven, keeping warm, and he pulled it out and placed it on decorative cooling rack on the table. He’d already set the table with the expensive dishes, the ones his mother had insisted he have. He gestured towards the candles he’d arranged and lit them with an incantation, then stepped back and looked around. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.

He was just about to go check on what was holding Vera up when he heard a thump outside.

“Vera?” he called. She should have been back already.

Frowning, he went to the door and looked out into the hall. The smell of blood hit his nose instantly. He didn’t bother to shut the door before he headed for the stairs.

He froze instantly. Vera was lying in a crumpled heap at the base of the steps. She didn't move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek. Sorry, but not ending this one on a cliffhanger didn't feel right. I've got a lot pre-written already so I promise I'll write as quick as I'm able.


	41. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your tissues. Sorry, this is gonna be another heavy one. Eek. 
> 
> And just in case anyone has been wondering, and because fully explaining it doesn’t flow right in the story - Tundra and why he hasn’t been mentioned concerning Vera and the Fors Factorum. It’s pretty simple. Tundra just hadn’t realized there was a problem. The Fors Factorum is natural to him, and he’s never paid a great deal of attention to individual humans outside his Champions, and they’ve been away from the Order for centuries, so he’s been sort of in the mindset that Hamish is just being overly dramatic about nothing, the way humans tend to be in his mind. But he’s got it now.

Hamish flew down the steps two, maybe even three at a time. He could feel Tundra’s echoing concern, the scent of blood so strong in his nostrils. Vera was bleeding, and Vera wasn’t moving. His mind couldn’t process anything else.

He fell to his knees beside her, his hands already reaching out but he stilled them, forcing himself to move carefully. He started with her head, gently brushing the long dark locks away from her face. She was pale, so incredibly pale, but there wasn’t any sign of blood. He muttered a simple healing incantation anyways, brushing his thumb over her forehead. Just in case.

He moved further down, probing her neck, her collarbone for any sign of injuries. He couldn’t feel any breaks, but once again, he uttered the words to repair anything he’d missed.

He kept going. He could see she was going to be bruised horribly, but he skipped the minor injuries for the moment. He needed to find and staunch the blood first. But when he finally found it, his heart felt like it had stopped beating. His lungs stopped taking in air.

A thin, red streak ran down the inside of one of her legs. And when he eased her skirt higher, he found her inner thighs smeared with it.

No.

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

Not their baby.

Hamish had scooped her up and was carrying her out to the car before he had a second to think about it, murmuring incantations like they were prayers. He needed help. He needed someone to tell him what to do.

He laid her down in the backseat and then jumped in the driver’s seat and floored the gas. He just needed to get her to the hospital. They’d know what to do.

Hamish glanced back when heard Vera groan groggily from the backseat and found her lifting her head off the seat as she blinked.

“Don’t move. Don’t get up,” he told her, trying to keep his voice calm.

She moaned softly. “What? Where am I?”

“Just breathe. We’re almost to the hospital-”

“The hospital?” Vera started to sit up, her voice a bit sharper.

“You fell-“

Vera had already looked. He knew it the moment he heard her sudden gasp. “Oh my god,” she whimpered. “Hamish!”

“Don’t panic,” he told her, despite the fact he was panicking himself.

“Please tell me you healed it,” she pleaded, her voice high pitched.

“I tried.” It was all he could give her. He didn’t know if it would be enough. He couldn’t promise her more than that.

Hamish could hear her crying in the backseat and he wanted more than anything to be able to comfort her. He wanted to hold her, or at least hold her hand, but all he had were his words, so he talked. He rambled on, not even fully sure what he was saying, just anything to distract her.

“I can’t do this again,” Vera sobbed. \

His heart broke for her, but he couldn’t lie to her and promise she wouldn’t be losing another baby, as much as he wanted to. “We’ll be okay,” he promised her instead. Whatever happened, they’d get through it.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s alright.”

Vera sobbed harder. When he glanced back, she was shaking her head, cradling her belly in both hands. “I did. I didn’t listen. I-, the doctor put me on bedrest. I didn’t listen.”

Hamish couldn’t respond right away. “When?” he finally choked out.

“When I was trying to reach you this morning,” she said between gasping breaths, “I was bleeding. I had Matti take me to the hospital.”

Hamish didn’t notice his fists clenching around the steering wheel until it started to crack under his grip. “What are you talking about, Vera?”

“I…I’m at risk of miscarrying. My numbers…they’re low. Really low. I thought I could manage it…”

“You knew?” he asked in disbelief.

Vera just nodded when he glanced back again.

When they pulled into the emergency room drop off, he still didn’t know what he wanted to say.

They’d already taken Vera back by the time Hamish had parked the car and made it inside. As he stood at the receptionist’s desk and waited for her to tell him where to go, he was suddenly all too aware of the blood staining his clothing. The sleeve of his jacket was covered in it, from where he’d carried her to the car, but it was speckled and smeared over everything else as well.

“Sir...Sir?”

Hamish abruptly looked away from a red stain on the wrist of his left sleeve. “Yes?”

The woman smiled gently. “Follow me.”

The first thing Hamish thought was that Vera looked so tiny and pale, all alone in that bed, surrounded by white. White walls, white sheets, white tile floors. It did nothing to help her color.

She looked up when he walked in. Her eyes were red, her face streaked with tears. “I-”

He shook his head. “Don’t,” he said, tiredly. He needed to get his thoughts in order before they had that talk. He went and sat in the car beside her bed. “Let’s just…see what the doctor says.”

Vera nodded and reached out her hand, seeking support. Hamish stared for a moment at that small, smooth hand, her perfect nails, unpainted today. He stared for so long, Vera stared to pull it back, sniffling softly. With a heavy sigh, he reached out and grasped it, enclosing her smaller hand in his. It didn’t matter. Whatever he was thinking, or not thinking, didn’t matter. Vera needed him. Their baby, if there still was one, needed him.

But it was harder than he’d thought to watch the doctor come in, his expression unreadable, and hard to breathe while the doctor pressed the probe to Vera’s bruised abdomen and they waited to see if that tiny heart was still beating. Hamish waited until they got their answer, and then he walked out.

“How bad is it?” Matti asked, the moment he spotted Hamish Duke pacing further down the hall.

The younger man turned. “Not now, Matthew,” he snarled, sounding less than human.

Matti’s heart dropped. “Shit. She didn’t lose-”

Hamish glared at him again. “Not yet.”

Matti let out a relieved breath. “Thank God,” he breathed. He watched Hamish for a moment, so tense and agitated. “…so why aren’t you in there?”

For a moment, Hamish's eyes flashed silver as he bared his fangs.

Matti didn’t retreat. “Hamish, don’t blame her.”

“I don’t _blame_ her,” Hamish snarled, but the words came out sounding false. From the way Hamish snapped his mouth shut, they had sounded false to him too.

“Then why aren’t you in there?” Matti asked again, gently. When Hamish didn’t respond, he sighed. “Don’t do this, Hamish.”

“I’m just…” he trailed off.

Matti arched a brow. Just what? Getting his thoughts together? Getting _himself_ together? It was a lot to deal with, Matti knew that. But it was what it was, and _Vera_ needed to be the priority right now. “She’s dying, Hamish,” Matti told him. “She’s _been_ dying for years now. You and I both know she would take it back, if she could. Not just because of the baby, but because of you, too. I’ve known Vera a long time, and you know what? She’s been happier in these last months than she’s been the entire time I’ve known her. She would choose you, if she could. She needs you in there with her.”

Hamish stared blankly at the wall separating them from Vera. “I can’t lose her,” he said, finally.

“It’s not fair, I know.” Matti glanced down. “She didn’t tell you things were getting so bad, because she kept hoping she’d bounce back once the baby’s born.” He took a shaky breath. “Supporting an extra life as taken a lot out of her, though. More than she originally anticipated. She came to me, maybe a month and a half ago? She’d started bruising easily again, and realized she was getting worse. I’ve been doing what I can, but…” He shook his head.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” The fight had left him, leaving behind a broken, scared boy.

“I think she liked seeing you so excited. She wanted to keep this baby as strictly a happy thing for as long as she could. She kept hoping it would get better, that she wouldn’t have to tell you just yet.”

“How long does she have?” he asked flatly.

Matti shook his head and shrugged weakly. “No one knows, Hamish. The Fors Factorum, it’s not predictable…but you should know, she asked me to look into incantations to help the baby when it comes. You know she’s going to hold out as long as she can, but she’s not expecting to make it to term.”

Hamish looked like he was about to break. Matti wasn’t sure how he was still standing, other than pure strength of will.

Matti gently clasped a hand over the young man’s shoulder. “What do you need to do to get yourself together?” he asked.

Hamish just stared at him.

“I can stay with her,” he continued. “We’ll call you if something changes.”

Matti waited until Hamish had disappeared from view before turning towards the door. He rapped lightly against the frame before poking his head inside.

“Hey, Vee,” he called softly.

Vera looked even worse than when she’d come to him that morning. “Where’s Hamish?” she asked, her voice quivering.

“I told him to go get himself together. That I’ll sit with you ‘til he gets back.”

Vera’s head dropped back against her pillow. “He hates me,” she muttered.

“He loves you,” Matti corrected. Vera closed her eyes against the thought. “I know you two are weird, like that, and don’t want to hear it, but that boy’s been in love with you since the day I stepped off the plane back in February.” He sat down on the edge of her bed and patted her leg. “And he thought he still had time. He’ll be back.”

Vera let out a shaky breath. When her hand moved back to her belly, she flinched slightly, her face scrunching in mild pain.

Matti straightened. “What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.

“I’m just bruised,” she whispered.

He was surprised Hamish hadn’t finished healing her, although maybe that had been on purpose. He couldn’t very well report a tumble down the stairs with no evidence of it. “Do you want me to heal it?”

She shook her head. “They’re not discharging me yet.”

Matti could read between the lines. This time, Vera wasn’t pressing anyone to get her out as soon as possible. She wanted to stay. Almost losing the baby twice in one day was too much.

Tundra directed them with single minded focus. For months, he’d been dismissing his Champion’s concerns as typical human dramatics. Everything had been perfect. He could sense the little life growing inside his Champion’s mate. His Champion had accepted his change of fate, and had even seemed to stop thinking of Tundra as the instigator of this change. Tundra had been content.

Except he’d been wrong, all along. His Champion’s dramatics hadn’t been mistaken. Something was wrong with his mate. And his Champion’s plan to get the witch Alpha’s hide wasn’t just an amusing thought anymore. Alpha would have the power to dispel whatever this curse on his mate was. But Alpha had always been the most particular of the Knights. The witch needed to be whole again.

Tundra followed his nose, supported by his Champion’s memories, to the tomb where the young witch lied in rest, preserved by spells given by the Book of Power. He sensed Silverback inside and roared his challenge to draw him out. He couldn’t fight him inside. Silverback’s brute strength would put Tundra at a disadvantage in close quarters, but he didn’t intend to be overpowered tonight.

Silverback’s Champion walked out of the stone tomb, confused and scowling. “Hamish?” he questioned, looking up at the silver werewolf.

But this time, Tundra had the reins. He snarled, baring his teeth, and lunged.

“Oh, shit!” the boy yelped, stumbling backwards, and then Tundra collided with the full, brawny form of Silverback.

Silverback was holding his punches, confused by the sudden attack, which played in Tundra’s favor. He didn’t need to win. He just needed to lure Silverback away. Then he could race back to the tomb. It wouldn’t take more than a second to rip the witch’s heart from her chest and end the magic sustained by her undecayed body. Silverback had no loyalty to the witch herself. He wouldn’t fight to save her, not the way Tundra was willing to fight for his mate.

Each swing took them further from the tomb, and Tundra played the larger wolf, step by step. Silverback’s confusion slowly disappeared, replaced by annoyance as Tundra’s claws kept leaving deep gashes on the dark grey hide. Annoyance worked just as well, as Silverback stopped thinking and just reacted. Step by step, swing by swing further from the tomb and its inhabitant.

And then a second body slammed into his side, and Tundra knew it was over.

“What the hell, Hamish?!” Randall exclaimed.

Hamish shook his head. He could still feel Tundra there, roiling close to the surface, furious. He was laying, naked, on the forest ground, with Randall and Jack pinning both his arms. He snarled, his fangs coming out again as Tundra echoed his despair, and shoved them off. He left them sitting there, staring at each other, as he stalked off towards the Den.

Hamish grabbed his robe from inside the door and brushed past Lilith and Gabrielle without a word as he made his way down to the basement. He pulled a book off the shelf. So many books. So many answers. None of them the right ones. It felt useless. He was no closer to finding an answer than he’d been months ago. He didn’t know how to make Vera’s powers return. He didn’t know how to save her. He threw the book across the room, watching it bounce off the collection of artifacts sitting on a table Vera had arranged months ago and sending them all scattering loudly to the floor.

The old boards creaked as footsteps came down the stairs.

“Hamish?” Randall called tentatively. He peeked his head around the doorway. “Are you going to attack me if I come in?”

Hamish just huffed.

Randall stepped just inside the door. “What happened back there?”

“Vera’s in the hospital,” he told Randall quietly.

Randall looked momentarily stunned. “What? Why?”

Hamish dropped into a chair and leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. “She’s anemic. Her RBC is…ridiculous. The doctors were even saying something about possible blood transfusions before I…” He clenched his teeth, biting back the memory of Vera lying crumpled on the ground. It didn’t work. “We were heading up to my apartment. I-, had something I wanted to show her. She got dizzy and passed out. She fell down the stairs.” He let out a heavy breath. “She hit her belly hard, but the baby’s still hanging in there. But Vera’s not doing so good. She _needs_ that hide, Randall.”

He heard Randall step closer, carefully. “I know it’s scary,” Randall said quietly. “But she’s going to be okay. So she’s anemic, it can happen during pregnancy. The doctors know now, and they’ll get her back on her feet.”

“You don’t get it,” Hamish sighed. “The anemia isn’t the problem. It’s a symptom.”

“Yeah. Of pregnancy.”

Hamish shook his head. His eyes were burning and he knew he was going to start crying if he talked about this, but Randall’s seen him break down before. “She was already anemic before she got pregnant. She has been for years.”

Randall looked confused. “Hasn’t she had bloodwork done before now? The doctors should have picked up on it…”

“She’s been magicking away her test results for years. She’s dying, Randall,” he said, his voice breaking.

“What?” Randall blurted out. “No. No, I mean-, this is Vera.” He laughed stiffly. “I _wished_ she was that easy to kill. You’re just overreacting. She’s-”

“She performed the Fors Factorum,” Hamish said flatly.

“The Four what’sitnow?”

“That incantation Praxis wanted. The one that seems to let practitioners perform magic without sacrifice. Only it’s not without sacrifice, and it’s killing her.”

Randall looked stunned. “What do we do?”

Hamish closed his eyes. “She needs a hide, Randall. The hides balance the spell. Alpha was supposed to choose her. He was supposed to fix her. But without her magic…”

“Fuck,” Randall breathed. “How long does she have?”

Hamish shrugged. “I don’t know. She doesn’t know. Not long, I think.” He shifted, staring blankly down at his hands. “I don’t think she ever expected more than a few months with our baby, and that was before she started getting worse. I-, I don’t know if she’s even going to make it to December at this rate.” Hamish looked up, haunted. “I _can’t_ lose her, Randall. Not like this. And the baby, if she doesn’t-, if there’s not time-“

Randall let out a heavy breath. “I’m getting the others. Maybe someone will have an idea.”

Hamish didn’t say a word as Randall hurried out the door. It was useless. He’d been searching for _months_ now. Vera had thrown herself tirelessly into the hunt when she’d first lost her magic. If they couldn’t find the answer, maybe there just wasn’t one.

Hamish slid out of the chair and onto the ground. His body felt too limp to even keep himself upright. He leaned back against the wall, looking around the crowded basement at all these priceless, useless artifacts. Not a single one could do him any good. Vera had thought every one of them was important…had. He laughed bitterly. Had. He was already thinking of her in the past tense.

He let his eyes wander, skipping over the jewels and the goblets and the knives… He started to stand, even before the idea had fully formed. Vera needed a hide. She didn’t need Alpha specifically. And there was one hide he knew would choose her, magic or no magic. Tundra had been intrigued by Vera from the start and now, the wolf was every bit as protective of her as Hamish himself was. The baby she carried had been Tundra’s doing, as well. Tundra would want to ensure that Vera survived, that their baby survived, at any cost. And if Hamish wouldn’t be around to see it…he could accept that.

His hand closed around a familiar knife. It had almost killed him once before. Maybe this time, it would do its job.

He heard footsteps on the stairs, more than just Randall.

He heard someone yell his name, panicked.

A body slammed into him, just as the knife slid up under his breastbone.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?!”

Hamish knew that voice...

He turned around.

It was Cassie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...again.


	42. The Collective Unconscious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12:30 am, but hey! Who's keeping track? lol.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?!”

Hamish turned and stared at Cassie for the first time in nine years, to the day. She looked exactly as he remembered her, dirty blonde hair pulled up into a high ponytail, freckles dotting her cheeks and nose. Only, she looked young now…now that he had aged, and she hadn’t.

Was that it then? Cassie was dead, so he must be too? A bittersweet feeling washed over him. He was dead, but Vera would live. He’d never get to meet their baby, but his child would have a mother who’d love him or her enough for them both. His child would only ever know one parent, but Vera would have the chance to be a mother, to watch their child grow up like she’d dreamed. It would be better this way, and maybe he’d still be able to watch them. And he wouldn’t be alone here. He…didn’t want Cassie…

“You’re not dead,” Cassie told him sourly. “Not that you didn’t give it one hell of a shot.” She stepped towards him. He watched as her hand, so real, so solid, pressed against his shoulder and shoved. Hard. “You’re damn lucky you put together a pack that can react quickly. It’s the _only_ reason you’re not already dead. So once again, _what the hell_ , Hamish?”

Cold washed over him. “I’m not-”

So he hadn’t succeeded then…

Vera was still dying…

Cassie crossed her arms and gave him a look. “You’re in the collective unconscious, Mr. Smartypants. Now, don’t make me ask you a third time.”

Hamish didn’t even know how to begin explaining the past nine years, much less the past year, to her. “That’s-, she’s-, I-,” but there wasn’t a good enough word to describe Vera. Girlfriend didn’t even begin to cover everything Vera was to him and he hadn’t even had the chance to tell Vera herself that he loved her. The idea of telling his dead girlfriend first felt wrong.

“I know,” Cassie said quietly. “I’ve never left you. I’ve been there, wishing I could let you know you haven’t been alone.” A hint of her usual smiling personality peeked through. “I’ll admit, I didn’t see it at first, but I came around to the idea of you replacing me with an Order snob.” She was grinning by the end, her joy sparkling in her deep green eyes.

Hamish gave a weak laugh.

“She’s good for you,” Cassie said, serious again, but still with a hint of a smile.

Hamish gave a small nod. “She’s carrying our baby, Cass. I’m not letting them die.”

Cassie shook her head. “And you think she’d be okay with you giving up your life for them? _That_ would destroy her.”

“She’d be fine. She’d be _alive._ And she’d have our baby, and the pack.”

“And why do you get to be the one to choose?” Cassie asked.

“Why does she?” he countered.

Cassie threw her hands up. “You keep looking at this as one of you has to die.”

“Because I’ve already gone through every other option,” he stressed. “She needs a hide, Cassie. And the only one without a Champion won’t take her. I don’t know what else you expect me to do.”

“Find another way.”

He looked at her hopefully. “You have an idea?”

Cassie gave him a cringing smile as she shook her head. “I was never the brain in our pack,” she pointed out. “But I’ve got faith in you.”

Hamish sighed and looked around. “So what do I do to get home?”

She gave him a mock-offended look. “Nine years, and you’re in that big of a rush to leave me?”

He looked at her guiltily. “I can’t spare the time, Cass. Not when Vera’s dying in the real world.”

Cassie sat down, cross-legged, on the grass. “She’s in a hospital. She’s stable. She’s got time.”

“Cassie-” he protested. Vera was _dying._ It didn’t matter if she wasn’t dying _now._ Every minute counted if he needed to find an alternative. He’d already tried to find a way to return her powers. The most he’d done was manage to set her on fire, and he knew she wouldn’t be willing to risk any more attempts. He wasn’t sure they’d do any good anyways. He supposed he could ask the others to dig Tundra out of him, the way they’d done to Silverback and Jack…but then, that had involved a hide rejection already in progress. Tundra would theoretically be bound much tighter-

“Hamish,” Cassie snapped. “Sit down. You made Vera talk it out with her father. You can spare me a few minutes.”

Hamish sat, almost without thinking.

“Can we talk about what happened that night?”

“…you died. And I should have been there.”

“You _were.”_

For the last few minutes, when every breath was growing weaker and she was bleeding out in his arms, her wounds unhealing. There hadn’t been some grand, dying speech, like in some old tragedy. There had been no final admittances of love, only a sobbing young man, still a boy really, and a quiet, labored demand to read the journals. And then she’d died, and he’d been left to figure out this new world alone.

“I should have been there sooner. I heard that ringing and I brushed it off. I should have at least called to see if you wanted to check it out.”

“Sometimes, I think you forget who’s hide I wore. I’m Timber’s. I stand on my own two feet…and sometimes I pay the price for that. _I_ could have just as easily called you, or waited for you, before I checked it out. I was overconfident. But there was nothing you could have done.”

“But if I’d been there-”

“If you’d been there, maybe it would have been you dead instead of me. We don’t know, we _can’t_ know, so sometimes we just need to accept what happened and move on.” Cassie sighed, and he could see sadness mixed with disappointment in her eyes. “And you did not move on.”

“I was in love with you,” he whispered. It felt strange, saying the words to her now when he’d never been able to say them to her when she was alive. It felt strange, having spent so many years grieving her, only to realize that his love for her felt innocent, childlike even, in comparison to what he’d come to feel for Vera. It felt like he was finally saying it, only far too late. “I didn’t know what to do without you.”

“You pushed away your family,” she said.

“I saw how much it hurt your parents…”

“You dropped out of a degree you were passionate about.”

“There didn’t seem to be much of a point. I wouldn’t have the time to use it, even if I did manage to finish.”

“You refused to look for new possible Champions for the hides.”

“I wasn’t ready to take on that responsibility.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’d just watched you die! I wasn’t ready to invite some poor, unsuspecting kid in to throw their life away.”

Cassie arched a brow, pressuring him. “You feel like you threw your life away? Like _I_ threw my life away?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” he said angrily. “I gave up _everything._ My family, my law degree, my future, for you. And then you _died._ You _died,_ Cassie. And I couldn’t take any of it back. Tundra wouldn’t go away.” He laughed bitterly. “And believe me, I tried. That was probably when I first started drinking. It was easier to ignore him when I was drunk. And he was _always_ there in the back of my mind, pushing me for more. Do more, _be_ more, be better. Except what was I supposed to be better at? All he wanted me to do was chase down evil magic users until one of them caught up with me and killed me too. So then I just started letting him. Just go. Hear the ringing, and let Tundra take over. We killed so many practitioners, I’m shocked the Order didn’t hunt me down.” Although now that he thought about it, Vera had become the Temple Magus around that time as well. Had the previous Temple Magus stepped down? Been punished? Had Vera even known about the attacks back then?

Cassie took advantage of his momentary pause. “I thought you might get yourself killed a time or two there,” she said sadly.

“I think I might have been trying,” he admitted.

“It took you _years,_ Hamish.”

Years. Years to accept that Cassie was gone. Years to start rebuilding the pack. Years to finally move on, to let himself be happy again, or at least content. It wasn’t until Vera that he could truly use the word happy again.

“But I did move on,” he said, because it was finally true. He _had_ moved on.

“You did,” Cassie agreed. “And now, you’re facing another possible death, and you are doing everything in your power to avoid confronting it.”

“I’m not avoiding it. I’m fixing it.”

Cassie rolled her eyes. “No. You’re avoiding. From the moment she told you, you’ve refused to accept it. You have never stopped looking for a loophole. You’ve never let yourself accept the fact that she could actually die…or that it _would_ be possible to live without her. She knows that. It’s why she didn’t tell you when she realized that having your baby is going to shorten the time she has left. She was trying to save you from stressing over something you couldn’t fix.” She gave him a small, comforting smile. “And Hamish, when you did find out…you walked out on her.”

“I didn’t-”

“You walked out on her,” she said again, forceful but gentle at the same time. “You were so determined to prevent her from dying, you didn’t even stop to think that maybe what she needed right then, was you to be there. Why do you think she called her friend when you got to the hospital?”

Hamish stared ahead blankly. Was that really true? He knew it was. He’d been avoiding confronting Vera’s possible, maybe even probably, death since the beginning. And he’d never considered how that refusal might hurt Vera. He knew she had come to terms with it, prior to her pregnancy, prior to realizing that there was going to be this child that would be growing up without her. It had to be devastating, and yet she rarely talked about it with him. He’d been so certain of the fact that he’d find some way to save her, but it never occurred to him that she might just be playing along for his benefit.

“Hamish,” Cassie called softly, breaking him from his thoughts. “You just tried to kill yourself, despite the fact that Vera’s not dying right this moment, despite the fact that you didn’t even give her the chance to say goodbye. You spent eight years tormenting yourself over my death, but you were prepared to do the very same to her. This is about you, Hamish.”

He kept staring ahead. “What do I do?”

She shrugged. “I’m not a shrink. But talk to her, maybe? And _listen,_ not just to the parts you want to hear.”

Hamish nodded. He could do that. He _needed_ to do that. Vera deserved someone who’d be there for her through everything, even the heartbreaking parts of life’s journey.

“You know, I think maybe this was how it was all meant to go,” Cassie said, after a few moments. He looked up at her, questioning. “I know you loved me. I love you, too. But I was never going to be the girl you settled down and had a family with. I loved being a Knight too much. You’ve always wanted a family. I wouldn’t have been happy in that life, but she can give you that. And I want you to know, I am so _so_ happy to see you getting that life.”

First, he needed to keep Vera alive long enough to see it. “Thanks, Cass,” he said warmly.

Cassie sighed. “I wish we had more time, but I’m glad I got to see you.”

Hamish stood up, and Cassie followed suit. She leaned in and hugged him, resting her head against his chest. “I’ll miss you, Cassie. Always.”

“And I’ll be with you, always.” She pulled away, her arms still resting loosely around his torso. “I love you, Hamish Duke,” she said, and then, before he could blink, she brought her arms around and shoved him.

When he woke up, the Knights were all kneeling around him. Jack was covered in blood, but he looked relieved.

“What the hell were you thinking, man?” Jack asked, punching Hamish in the shoulder.

Hamish glanced down. “Vera’s dying,” he told them. And then he told them the whole story.

“There’s got to be a way,” Jack said when he was finished.

“If there is, I haven’t found it,” Hamish said. He looked down at his bloodstained clothing. “I need to get cleaned up and back to the hospital. I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

They all nodded in agreement.

“We’ll start brainstorming ideas while you’re gone,” Randall offered.

Hamish nodded his thanks. “Do you mind if I bring Vera back here once she’s released? I’d feel better if there was someone around at all times.” If Vera was going to be on full bedrest for the foreseeable future, she’d need the help.

Randall shook his head and looked to Lilith expectantly. Lilith sighed. “I guess it has been a little quiet without her bossing everyone around lately,” she relented.

“Thanks, guys,” Hamish told them, relieved.

An hour later, Hamish walked down the quiet, empty hallway of the hospital. Matthew looked up when he reached the door. Past him, he could see Vera sleeping in the bed, an IV dripping red into her hand. They’d decided on the blood transfusion after all. Matthew closed his book and stood, coming to greet him outside the room.

“How’s she doing?” Hamish asked softly.

The burlier man gave him a small, crooked smile. “Depends on what answer you want.”

“The truth.”

Matthew nodded. “Scared,” he said simply. “Both for the baby, and that she’s upset you. I couldn’t decide whether she was relieved or not when the doctor came back in and said they’d decided to go ahead with a unit of blood. I think it gave her some peace of mind for the baby, but it just hit home about how bad off she is.” The man shoved his hands into his back pockets. “They sent one of those ultrasounds in to check on the baby again. The bleeding’s stopped, the heartbeat’s steady, but the baby’s measuring small. Vera was afraid of that. She knew it was a possibility, but hearing it didn’t help.”

Hamish closed his eyes. All this stuff he didn’t even know he should be worried about. He _needed_ to find an answer.

Matthew watched him, concerned. “You good?” he asked.

It was a more loaded question than it seemed, but Hamish nodded. “Thank you for staying with her while I…”

“Any time,” Matthew accepted, then gave a goofy little grin. “Well, actually, if she repeats this, I’ll help you find a spell to keep her in bed for the next five months, but you get the gist. But I’ll leave her to you for now. Call me if anything changes.”

He’d gone a few steps down the hall when Hamish called after him. “Matthew?”

Matthew turned and arched a brow. “Matti’s fine, kid.”

Hamish nodded, accepting. “Matti. What’s she told you about us trying to find a cure?”

“About you wanting to turn her into one of you?” he said, not unkindly.

Hamish nodded again, letting out a breath. So he knew. “If you can think of any way to get her magic back…”

Matti nodded. “On it,” he agreed.

Hamish walked into Vera’s hospital room then. She hadn’t budged at all throughout the conversation. She’d used to be a light sleeper, and he wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy or the Fors Factorum responsible for changing that. Still, he walked around to the edge of the bed and sat down in a chair, before leaning forward and taking the hand that was free of wires. That woke her.

Vera shifted groggily and turned her head to face him. “You’re back,” she mumbled.

“Sorry it took so long,” he said. He hesitated, before adding, “I was panicking.”

Vera gave him a small smile. “I’m sorry.”

Hamish let out a breath. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He gave her a small, teasing smile. “And you hate apologizing.”

“I almost lost our baby…”

“But you didn’t.” He set a hand gently on her little bump. “Baby’s still in here, getting big and strong until he or she is ready to join us.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. “We’re okay.”

Vera nodded, understanding everything those two little words meant. She shifted to the side a few inches. “Can I have my pillow back then?”

Hamish chuckled. “Really?”

She lifted up the blanket.

“Kick me out at any time,” he accepted, before taking off his shoes and slipping in next to her. It was a snug fit, but Vera liked to lay on her side anyways and she quickly fitted herself up against his side, carefully arranging her IV line where it wouldn’t snag.

He could fill her in on the rest later.


	43. Bedrest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Wow, feels like forever. Needed a breather from writing, went through a book a day for a week, cleared my head...and then life got busy and I had no time. Hopefully should get some good writing time in next week though.
> 
> And saw a few of y'all comment after the cancellation news. So friggin sad right now about that. But thankfully I'm one of those people that will just write my own ending if I don't get an ending I like to a story, so I guess this is now officially my view of season 3 (or well, part of it. I had other theories for some other characters storylines, I just prefer writing Vermish over all the others).

“The Den? Really?” Vera asked Hamish flatly. He could tell by her tone that she wasn’t impressed with his idea.

He sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and set a hand on her lower back. Vera’s gaze didn’t soften at his touch. “You heard the doctor. You _need_ to take it easy. Until they get this under control, you’ve got to limit yourself. No more activity than absolutely necessary. And I’d feel more comfortable if I knew there was always somebody around to help you.”

“So you don’t trust me,” Vera grumbled under her breath.

He rubbed her back gently. “I know you will do everything in your power to keep our baby safe,” he told her calmly. He swallowed thickly against the knowledge that he still didn’t have a cure for her. “But I also know that you’ve been struggling with your health, more than you’ve let on…and it’s only going to get worse.” He swallowed again, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I need to know that you’re safe, Vera.” He moved his hand to her swollen belly. “I need to know that our baby is safe.”

“And where do you plan to be?” she asked, a tinge of unhappiness still coloring her words.

“I’ll be with you,” Hamish told her, hesitating before he continued. “But I also can’t sit by and do nothing. And before you say it, I know there may not be an answer, but if there is, and I missed it because I didn’t even look for it, I couldn’t live with that. We don’t ever have to talk about it, if you don’t want to,” he told her. He didn’t fully understand her avoidance of potentially saving her life, maybe it was just too difficult to hope, but he wouldn’t push her on it. Not until he knew for sure that something was going to work.

Vera glanced away at his words, clearly searching for a way to change the subject.

Hamish accepted her non-answer and redirected back around to the original topic. “Can we at least try it? If you’re miserable, we’ll go home.”

Vera didn’t look any more pleased by his change in topic, but then a spark of triumph flashed in her eyes as a slow smile spread across her lips. She arched a brow at him. “And how do you intend to explain our living arrangements to your parents?”

His parents. Hamish froze. He’d gotten so used to making decisions without giving any thought to them, that he’d forgotten they were coming into town. Tomorrow.

Vera’s smirk only grew. “You own quite a nice apartment. I’m the Chancellor of a prestigious university, with a comfortable salary _and_ my own home. We can’t stay in a rundown old house with several college students as roommates,” she expanded, just in case the thought hadn’t already crossed his mind.

“I-” But he couldn’t make the idea work. There was no logical way to explain the Den to his parents.

“So we can go home?” Vera asked, smirking.

Hamish sighed and nodded, giving in.

Vera nudged him with her shoulder. “Your mother is probably going to be spending every waking moment with us anyways,” she said.

Hamish chuckled. She wasn’t wrong. His mother, and father too, actually, had been over the moon for the past month, and it wasn’t just because of their first grandchild. They were absolutely smitten with Vera, as well, and Vera had seemed both amused and content with these new parental figures in her life. Maybe it was because she’d had a strained relationship with her own parents for so many years, or maybe it was because his parents were old enough to feel like actual parents to her as well, but Vera didn’t seem to mind their doting on her. And he knew that the minute they found out, they’d be swooping in to coddle her the way they had Hamish when he’d been sick as a child.

“Okay,” he relented. “You win.” For now. But his parents never stayed for long. Business always pulled them away, sooner rather than later, and when it did, he was revisiting the idea of returning to the Den. For the moment though, he pulled out his phone and texted Randall that they wouldn’t be coming after all.

From Randall’s rapid response, he wasn’t disappointed by the change of plans.

Vera looked rather pleased with herself…

….which made the look on her face even more priceless when they pulled into the driveway and found the other four Knights lounging around outside the front door.

Vera turned on him accusingly. “Did you put them up to this?”

Hamish couldn’t help his smile. “Nope,” he said honestly. This was all them.

Vera didn’t look like she knew what to say.

“They’ve been worried,” Hamish told her quietly.

“You shouldn’t have told them,” she whispered. She didn’t seem angry, just stunned to see them.

Hamish didn’t try to explain himself. Vera understood. She’d been in the hospital, he’d had to say something. He gave her a small smile. “Give me a second. I’ll carry you in.”

“I can walk,” she told him.

“The doctor said-”

“Nothing more than absolutely necessary,” she interjected. “That means I can get up to use the bathroom, grab a snack when you’re gone, _walk to the door_.”

Hamish sighed. He’d known from the start she’d be one to stretch her limits as far as she could. It was part of the reason he wanted to be sure someone was always around, so she couldn’t find an excuse to get up.

“Hamish. I’m not dizzy. I’m not going to fall.”

Hamish knew what the real problem was though. Her dignity. She didn’t want to be seen as weak, even if it was the truth. “At least let me come around and help you?” he relented.

He didn’t give her time to argue, throwing open the car door and exiting before she could protest. Vera, to his relief, stayed seated. He popped the trunk to grab her bag, intending to sling it over his shoulder, but Randall was already there, reaching to take it from him.

“I’ve got this,” Randall said. “Just get the Queen B settled.”

“Thanks,” Hamish said, handing him the keys as well so he could go unlock the door ahead of them. Randall took them, immediately tossing them across to Jack by the door.

Randall waited until Hamish had gone to the passenger’s side door – Vera had already opened it and was waiting impatiently – and helped Vera out of the car. “How’s our wolf pup doing?” he asked.

Vera looked unamused. “The _baby_ is fine,” she told him as she stepped around him to head for the door.

“And you?”

Vera’s steps faltered for a second at his concern. “I’ve been better,” she admitted, though still rather vaguely, before continuing on.

Once inside, Vera went straight for the couch and dropped down onto it with a reluctant sigh. The others had all followed them inside as well and Vera eyed them with pursed lips, as if debating why they were there, the idea that they might simply care about her and be worried never crossing her mind.

“What can I get you?” Hamish asked, pausing by her side.

Vera tore her gaze away from their guests and looked up at him. The corner of her mouth twitched with a barely-there smile. “I’m okay for right now,” she said, before looking back at the Knights who were making themselves comfortable in her living room. “When I said I wanted to go home, that didn’t mean bring the Den to me. What are you four doing here?”

“Unlike the Order, the Knights look out for each other,” Jack spoke up. “We’re here to help, if you need anything.”

Vera eyed him with something like suspicion before arching a brow. “And you couldn’t have just called?” she asked.

Jack shrugged.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Vera finally relented. “But right now, all I want to do is relax.”

Randall turned to Hamish. “You need help with anything before we go, then?”

“We could pick up food?” Gabrielle offered.

Jack snorted quietly. Probably because Gabby’s ‘we’ meant him or Randall.

Hamish nodded in agreement. “Thanks, guys,” he said, glancing at Vera for confirmation.

She gave a single nod. “As long as no one touches my kitchen.”

It was Randall’s turn to snort. “We don’t even touch ours,” he said under his breath. “Anything else?”

Vera looked over at Hamish. “Do we need anything for when your parents get in?”

Hamish squeezed his eyes shut, cringing as he suddenly remembered the apartment, still decorated from the surprise evening he’d planned. He needed to clean up the mess. Not to mention, he wasn’t even sure he’d shut the door, let alone locked it, in his rush. “I need to run by the apartment,” he admitted reluctantly.

He could see in her expression she understood, at least in part. “Go,” she told him. When he started to hesitate, she rolled her eyes. “Take Randall and Jack with you. The girls can stay and keep an eye on me until you get back.”

Hamish glanced at the others for agreement and then promised he’d be back soon, Jack and Randall tagging along behind him as he left.

Despite their chattiness on the drive over, Jack and Randall both went silent as they entered the apartment and Hamish started to regret having them come along.

“I’m not going to ask,” Jack muttered, taking in the blue rose petals from the doorway.

“We’re not going to find anything-”

Hamish cut Randall off before he could finish that thought. “It was just supposed to be dinner.”

Randall snorted. _“Sure_ it was,” he said disbelievingly, the rose petals and candle lit dinner still laid out on the table supporting his thought.

Hamish sighed. “I-, haven’t told her I love her yet,” he said haltingly.

Surprise washed over their faces once again.

“You were planning on telling her?” Jack guessed, smiling a little.

Randall looked more surprised that Hamish loved her. Or maybe just that he was admitting it…

He nodded. “I saw Cassie’s parents yesterday.” Yesterday. Had it really only been a single day? He glanced down. “It, um…yesterday was the anniversary of the day she died. I meet up with them every year, to remember Cassie, to let them know I’m still okay.” He hesitated again. “I never told Cassie I loved her. And I realized I need to tell Vera.”

“Have you?” Jack asked.

Hamish shook his head. “That’s what this was meant to be,” he said, gesturing at the spread. “We were on our way up. She told me she forgot something in the car and to go on ahead. I ran in to get the last minute stuff done. When I came back out…” He couldn’t finish that thought. That image was already too imprinted in his head.

“What do we need to do?” Randall asked, changing the topic for him. “Flowers. Dishes. Anything else?”

Hamish gave a grateful smile in return. “That’s it.” Thankfully. He didn’t want to be gone any longer than necessary.

Randall headed for the kitchen and started opening doors, looking for a trash can.

“So, I didn’t want to piss off the preggo,” Randall said as they swept up the scattered, wilted petals.

“Thank you,” Hamish said, before even hearing what he had to say.

“Shouldn’t you have put her in bed? You know, _bedrest,_ and all?”

“The doctor said she’s fine on the couch, just as long as she stays off her feet.”

“Ah,” Randall said, as if understanding something. “So it’s more of restricted activity than full bedrest.”

Hamish shrugged. “I guess?” If that’s what he wanted to call it. Whatever the name, he knew that for Vera, who normally kept herself so busy, being confined to the couch at home was going to be torturous. In any case, Hamish had to restrain his smile at the realization that Randall must have started researching when Hamish told them what was going on. He knew Randall would still deny it if anyone accused him of genuinely caring about Vera.

“That’s not terrible then,” Randall said. “What is she going to do about work?”

“There’s not much she can do. She’d going on temporary leave for now. Matthew is going to try to keep the Council in check, but he’s expecting they’ll try to remove her if we don’t get her back on her feet fast.” He couldn’t say it out loud, but if they didn’t find a way to heal Vera soon, Matti’s efforts would be pointless.

“We’re working on it,” was all Randall said.

Hamish knew they were, and so was Matti. He hoped that together they would find something he’d missed.

When they got home, he was surprised to find Vera and Gabrielle sitting on the couch opposite each other, with Lilith in a chair she’d drug over from the dining room, a set of cards in each hand.

“Ah, come on. We’ve been stuck cleaning while you’ve all been here having fun,” Randall complained. “Who decided me and Jack had to go with Hamish anyways?”

“I did,” Vera said distractedly as she eyed her cards, before pulling two out and lying them facedown on the pile growing in the center of the couch. She looked up. “Would you really have rather been stuck here with me?”

“Games, or cleaning up a thousand rose petals. Not really a toss up,” Randall said, walking closer.

Vera immediately froze, turning to stare at Hamish with wide eyes.

“Riiight,” Randall drawled. “You didn’t actually make it to the door to see…”

Lilith and Gabrielle were already standing, abandoning their cards. Randall took a step back, avoiding their twin glares.

“Time to go,” Jack said, abruptly turning and heading for the door.

“That’s probably for the best,” Hamish said, never taking his eyes from Vera.

A minute later, Randall had been herded out of the room by the two girls. “Call us if you need anything,” Gabby called over her shoulder.

“We’ll send Jack with dinner,” Lilith added. 

And then they were gone.

Vera took a breath as she arched a brow at him. “Rose petals?” she asked warily.

Hamish sat down opposite her but didn’t reach for her just yet, giving her her space. “I wanted to do this differently,” he said. He’d wanted to give her more than whispered words on the couch. “Flowers, candles, dinner. I wanted to be able to show you, and not just tell you…I love you.”

Vera’s breath caught, but she didn’t look entirely surprised by the declaration. He supposed it wasn’t really a secret at this point, even if he’d never said the words.

“I’m not expecting you to say it back,” he told her. Her expression was already softening, taking on almost a sad appearance. It wasn’t anything he was surprised by either, and he continued before she could start apologizing for letting him in, for letting him love her and the inevitable hurt it would bring, as if she had some control over his feelings. “Yesterday, I spent part of the day at the grave of someone I loved, someone who I never said those words to. Cassie died without ever knowing how much she meant to me and yesterday, I realized…” He hesitated, unsure whether it for was her or himself, before taking a breath and continuing. “Yesterday, I realized I was doing the same thing now. And whatever happens, I don’t want it to happen without knowing that you know that you are the most important person in my life.”

“Hamish,” Vera whispered, pleading with him to stop.

He shook his head. “It’s true. And I don’t regret it.”

Vera looked away, blinking rapidly. “You will.”

“I can’t regret the time we had together. Even-” He hesitated, glancing down. Vera _was_ going to survive this. Whatever the pack, or Tundra, or Cassie, thought. He wouldn’t accept any other outcome. “Even if it’s not as much time as we’d want, I can’t regret falling in love with you. You gave me my life back, a life outside the confines of the Knights. You made me realize that I was capable of feeling this way again, when I spent years blocking myself from it.” He reached out and gently brushed the back of his hand along the curve of her belly. “You’ve made me a father.” He gave her a small smile. “There’s nothing I could regret about you.”

Vera took a shaky breath. “If you were anything like you are with me, she knew,” she whispered.

He knew that now, but he smiled softly anyways. “Thank you.”

Vera’s eyes closed. “And I do…love you, for, all the same reasons,” she admitted haltingly.

Hamish couldn’t stop the goofy grin from spreading across his face as she reciprocated his words aloud. “Yeah?”

Vera looked up, eyes narrowing. “Don’t act like you didn’t know,” she snapped, attempting to distract from her blushing cheeks.

Hamish chuckled and scooted closer so he could pull her into his arms. “I knew,” he told her. In truth, he may have recognized her feelings before he’d been ready to admit his own. He’d known it by the disappoint in her expression on the nights he hadn’t been able to stay over, all those months ago when they were still hiding what they were. He’d known it in the way she reached for him during the night when she thought he was asleep, some past hurt coming back to haunt her. He’d known it by the way she protected him, keeping him close to her rather than send him on the potentially dangerous missions she had sent the others on for the Order, and then giving up the Order, rather than turning over the Knights. Vera had shown it in so many little ways, for so long, and yet the one thing he hadn’t expected was to hear her saying it back to him.

Vera relented, relaxing into his arms with a small sigh, and Hamish prayed that somebody would find what he’d been missing so that he could still have a lifetime of this ahead of him, a lifetime of loving Vera and hearing her say it back.


	44. Late Night Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Again! Sorry it's been so long. My plan for being able to write did not go as expected (I raise goats and just spent 2 weeks basically living outside delivering the first sets of babies. Thought it would be a good time to write, did not account for the fact I can't keep them out of my lap and thus off my laptop. So I made it through about 10 books instead. lol), and then when everything settled down and I could write....my laptop wouldn't turn on. So that was frustrating and delayed me even further. I'd intended this chapter to be longer but I reached a decent stopping point and figured I'd give you what I have, since I've already made you wait so long. 
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews, the rereads and the comments. They are much appreciated!

“Are you-”

“Hamish,” Vera cut him off with obvious forced patience, but then it wasn’t the first time he’d asked. “I’ll be fine. My babysitters will be here soon.” The corner of her lips quirked up, letting him know that she was more amused than annoyed by his request to have someone sit with her. That, however, was the current problem. Gabby and Lilith were running late.

“I could wait-” he started to offer.

“If you wait, you’ll miss their plane landing and they could be gone already,” she reiterated.

Hamish heaved a sigh but he knew she was right. It had been her idea for him to go to the airport to meet his parents when they got in. It was partly because she knew that his parents would love to see him, especially now that he was trying to open back up to them again, and partly so he could fill them in on the events of the past couple days. His mother had been looking forward to some girls’ time with Vera, and once they’d mentioned that they still needed to work on the nursery, he’d heard the excitement in her voice at the prospect of shopping for the baby. Unfortunately, all their plans were going to be altered by Vera’s current doctor’s orders.

“I’ll be fine on my own until they get here,” Vera told him gently. She leaned over and grabbed a deck of cards from the end table. “And we’ve got plans to continue our interrupted game from yesterday, so I’ve got no reason to do anything more than sit here until you get back.”

“Okay,” he gave in, leaning in to give her a quick kiss. “I love you,” he said with a small smile as he pulled away.

“…you, too,” she whispered, so quietly he only caught the last words. Hamish could hear the hesitation in her voice but he grinned all the same. Her nerves about saying it didn’t matter, because Vera wasn’t the type to say it simply because she thought it was what he’d want to hear. Those quiet, barely audible words might as well have been a public declaration of her love and they meant the world to him.

Hamish leaned in for one final kiss, before promising he’d be back soon, and finally leaving.

Forty-five minutes later, Hamish was standing at the baggage claim, waiting for the plane’s passengers to start arriving and when the first wave began entering the room in little clusters, he spotted his parents long before they spotted him. When his mother did finally notice him, however, she let out a joyous shriek before rushing over to envelop him in a hug.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice slightly muffled against him. “I thought we weren’t meeting until tomorrow?” She pulled back and started looking around expectantly, before he had a chance to answer. “Where’s Vera? Tell me you brought her with you.”

“Elaine,” Niall chided lovingly, before turning to Hamish and giving him a once over. “Hamish. It’s good to see you. You look well.”

Hamish inclined his head. “Thank you,” he replied. “I am. I hope your trip was good, as well.” The niceties out of the way, he let out a small sigh. “And as for Vera, that’s partly why I’m here. Vera had some complications with the pregnancy the other day. She’s home now, the baby’s doing okay, but Vera’s currently restricted to the couch at home for the foreseeable future, so I’m afraid our plans for while you’re here are going to be a little altered.”

Hamish could see the concern developing in his parents’ expressions as he spoke, a more reserved worry that creased his father’s brow and darkened his blue eyes, while his mother’s whole posture wilted with a shaky gasp.

“What can we do?” Elaine asked, once he’d finished explaining. “Does she need anything? How’s her doctor handling it? Niall, maybe you should make a call to-” Her face scrunched as she tried to remember the name, snapping her fingers absently at her side. “What’s his name? You know who I’m talking about. The one who’s son is a doctor. He’ll-”

“Mom! Mom,” Hamish cut in, trying to talk her down before she got herself too overwhelmed. “Thank you, but Vera trusts her doctor. I’ll let you know if we need a second opinion, though,” he said to pacify her.

His mother nodded, already moving on to the next idea. “I know we planned to meet tomorrow, but do you think she’d mind if we stopped by on our way to the apartment?”

He knew the request was born out of concern, but he still shook his head, giving her a small smile to soften his rejection. “I’m sure she’d appreciate the concern, but it’s already late. I’ll be shocked if she’s even still awake when I get home.” That wasn’t entirely true. He knew Vera would be awake, but that was only because she’d be forcing herself to stay up with Lilith and Gabrielle there.

His mother sighed but relented. “You call us first thing in the morning, then. We’ll bring breakfast.”

Hamish explained a bit more of the story he and Vera had made up as an explanation while they watched the luggage slowly roll past on the belt. It was a lie that left a lot of unanswered questions, but Hamish had been adamant about not reusing the leukemia story they’d sold Vera’s father. Vera had relented when Hamish had explained that, after Cassie, he didn’t want his parents to worry about him getting into another relationship with a dying woman. For the first time in years, they saw him getting his life back on track. Telling them that Vera was terminally ill would only exacerbate their concern. What he didn’t tell Vera was that if one of them had to die, he would make sure it wasn’t her – and that wasn’t an argument they needed to have until it was time.

When they finally headed for his car, Elaine was wiping silent tears from her cheeks, her fingers coming away smudged with eyeliner.

“I can’t imagine,” she was saying. “And for her to have lost a baby before, poor dear must be terrified.”

Guilt still gnawed at his stomach at his initial reaction to finding out Vera was so sick, hearing that they could have lost their baby. Vera _had_ been devastated, and he hadn’t been in the right mindset to comfort her, or even stay with her.

Thankfully, his parents connected his expression with worry over the baby and his mother laid her hand on his arm. “I’m sure the doctors wouldn’t have sent her home if they didn’t think they had things under control.”

He forced a smile and a nod of acceptance. The doctors had sent Vera home because, once she was stabilized and assured that the baby had a steady heartbeat, she’d insisted, the same way she always did. The doctors wouldn’t have the answers for this. The most he could hope for was that they’d keep her going until he could find a more permanent cure.

The car ride to the apartment had a more upbeat tone as his mother discussed their recent travels and his father told humorous stories about his various clients and meetings. They studiously avoided the topic of Hamish’s ongoing education, as it had always been a sore spot between them, but they did ask about the ‘campus safety club’ that had now become a front for the Knights and had led to his meeting Vera in the first place. There was enough truth to it for the lies to flow easily and Vera had helped him shore up some details he could use to flesh out the club’s purpose.

In the end, it might have been the most pleasant conversation he’d had with his parents in years, and when he finally dropped them at the apartment building, his mother smiled as she hugged him, sighing happily.

“My boy,” she whispered against him. It was all she needed to say.

Lilith and Gabrielle were sitting out on the porch when Hamish pulled into the drive.

“She’s asleep,” Lilith called, before he could ask why they’d left her alone. “She made it through a round of BS, a round of go-fish, then put on a movie. I think she was out before it even started. We’ve been keeping an ear out but she hasn’t budged.”

“Thanks for staying,” Hamish told them.

Gabrielle shrugged. “She’s our Grand Magus. Even without the official title.”

Lilith crinkled her nose. “She is more tolerable than I used to find her,” she conceded. Her scowl deepened as Hamish’s grin grew. “I said more, not is,” she argued, just so she wouldn’t have to admit to the possibility of actually liking Vera.

“Still, thanks,” Hamish said again, his grin never faltering.

“Call if you need us,” Gabby said as they started to leave. She gave a cheeky grin. “I’m sure Lilith will be itching for a rematch.”

From Lilith’s responding scowl, it was obvious Vera had beaten her at at least one of their games.

“Once my parents leave again,” he agreed.

Hamish watched the two younger girls leave before slipping inside and shrugging out of his jacket. He hung it on the back of a chair and tiptoed into the living room. As he’d expected, Vera was curled on the couch, clearly having slipping into the position unconsciously when she’d drifted off. It wasn’t one she’d be comfortable in long term.

He knelt down beside her and set a hand on her arm, calling her name softly. She let out a sleepy moan, before blinking up at him. A moment later, she darted upright, looking around the room frantically.

“They just left,” Hamish told her.

Vera groaned, embarrassed rather than tiredly this time. “I was trying to stay awake.”

Hamish chuckled. “I know, but no one expects you to.” He moved his hand down to her stomach and rubbed the little mound fondly. “You’ve got a pretty good excuse right here for needing your sleep. Now, how about I help you get to bed so you can actually sleep?”

Vera nodded, accepting his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. “How did it go with your parents?” she asked, immediately leaning against his side and letting him support some of her weight, her weariness quickly returning now that she knew they were alone.

He nodded along with a small smile. “Well, I think. We were able to talk, so it was…nice.” He glanced down at her. “Mom wanted to come straight here. We managed to hold her off until morning, but they’ll probably be showing up at our door with breakfast tomorrow, so be forewarned.”

“Mmm. I should have put the wolves to work cleaning,” Vera muttered.

Hamish laughed aloud. “The place is spotless, Vera. But I can always do another cleaning spell in the morning if it makes you feel better.”

“Please,” Vera requested.

He lifted the covers for Vera to slide in before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m going to go change.”

By the time he got back, she was already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will officially introduce Vera and his parents.


	45. Niall and Elaine Duke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next chapter up! :) Bit of fluff but not entirely.

“Let me get that,” Niall Duke said, stepping forward to take the plate from his wife. “I can handle the dishes.”

As Hamish had speculated, his parents had arrived at their doorstep bright and early, the moment Hamish had let them know they could come. And, not to fault Hamish’s cooking skills, Vera had greatly appreciated their insistence on bringing breakfast for them all. It was simply that she expected she’d be eating a great deal of Hamish’s cooking over the coming weeks, so she wasn’t about to argue when someone was offering to feed her otherwise.

“Why don’t we go into the living room?” Hamish suggested.

_So Vera can put her feet up_ , Vera finished the unspoken part of his sentence. She hadn’t even been home a full twenty-four hours and she was already going stir-crazy. But she would sit, she _had_ to sit. She couldn’t risk any more dizzy spells, any more falls, any more incidents that could put her pregnancy at even greater risk than it already was.

“Let’s,” his mother agreed readily, turning to look at Vera for confirmation.

Vera nodded and let Hamish help her up, resisting the urge to shrug him off when his hand remained on the small of her back. Elaine smiled as she watched them, clearly pleased with the direction her son’s life had taken, before following Vera and Hamish over to the living area and leaving Niall to clean up the table.

Vera settled herself on the couch, pulling her feet up and tucking them under the blanket Hamish had already draped over her. Hamish sat beside her, his hand drifting to one of her feet and giving it a gentle squeeze, even as he focused his attention on his mother and her often unrelenting string of thoughts. Vera pressed her lips tight against a smile as she watched the mother-son pair, the affection evident from the moment they’d walked in the door.

Niall and Elaine Duke were every bit the elegant, upper-class couple that Vera had come to expect of the parents of Belgrave’s students. Niall was clearly an older version of his son. He was tall and lean and, while he’d lost some muscle tone in his older age, he carried himself like a man who’d always cared for his body and kept himself in shape. And, while he’d been polite thus far, he came across as reserved and disciplined enough to keep his true emotions hidden behind a mask. It was a quality Vera recognized in herself as well.

Elaine, on the other hand, was her husband’s counter. She was a smaller woman with a softer build. Vera couldn’t help but think the extra weight, in addition to her cheerful manner, gave the woman a grandmotherly vibe, despite her attempt to maintain the blonde coloring of her youth. The whole image left Vera feeling strangely warm and content. At least her child would have one classic, doting grandmother and she already suspected that Niall would be equally as caring in his own way, once the baby was actually here for him to spoil.

“So, Vera,” Elaine called, pulling at her attention. “Hamish was telling me that you’ve decided on a theme for the nursery. Wolves?” she questioned, her brow knitting in confusion.

Vera let out a genuine laugh. “There’s a bit of a joke behind it, and Belgrave’s mascot _is_ a wolf, but it’s cuter than it sounds. It’s not finished but a few of our undergrads have spent the last week painting. Be sure to have Hamish show you before you leave.”

In truth, Vera had thought Hamish and the others were messing with her when they had suggested the theme, but then Hamish had shown her what they were thinking and the little cartoony wolf pups had grown on her. Vera had always enjoyed history, tracing the roots that connected the past to the present, and those little wolves would have a story that no other theme could match. They represented her life, from the lonely years where Belgrave and the Order were her everything, to the Knights of St. Christopher who had led her into a whole new family.

And then Lilith had suggested that instead of copying the exact drawing, she could give each wolf its own unique coloring and expression. She had sketched out a rough drawing on a sheet of paper and that had sold Vera on it. Lilith still had several more wolves to go, but once she was finished, the entire pack would be represented on the walls of nursery.

Elaine smiled, a hint of uncertainty still evident in her eyes. “We haven’t had much of a chance to talk. Did you attend Belgrave yourself?”

Vera nodded. “I suppose you can say Belgrave has been my entire adult life. I got my degrees here, and then was lucky enough to be hired for a position in the office right after graduation and I’ve been working here in some capacity or another ever since.”

“And your family? Are they local?”

Vera automatically started to tense at the mention of her family before blowing out a breath and forcing herself to relax again. “No. I’m originally from a small town in Washington - my parents still live there. I attended Belgrave on scholarship.”

“A worthy achievement,” Niall spoke admirably from behind as he came to join them.

Vera gave him a small nod of thanks.

“Do your parents plan on coming to visit then? When the baby’s due perhaps?” Elaine asked. She turned to glance at her husband. “We’d like to be here then, if that’s alright with you both. Your family would be welcome to stay with us, if they plan to be in town.”

Vera hesitated, unsure how she wanted to explain her relationship with her own parents.

Misreading Vera’s discomfort, Elaine hurried to add, “We’re not looking to be intrusive. I fully understand that that is something you would want your own mother around for-”

Vera cut her off. “No. I-” She shook her head as she sorted her words. “Of course, you should be there.” She took a breath. “As for my own parents…we’ve been distanced for many years. My father did reach out recently and we’ve been working on rebuilding our relationship. I can’t say the same for my mother…at this moment, I don’t think I want either of them here.” Even if by some stroke of luck, she managed to stay stabilized up until the birth, she couldn’t picture having either of them there for such an emotional day. Their presence was tied to too many difficult memories.

“I’m so sorry,” Elaine said honestly. She smiled brightly, trying to lighten the mood. “So, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

Vera felt Hamish’s concerned gaze on her immediately and his mother’s smile started to falter as she picked up on the look. Vera forced a smile of her own, the expression coming easier than it would have even a month earlier. “Is it possible to say both?”

She could feel Hamish’s concern switch abruptly to surprise. The baby’s gender wasn’t a subject they’d openly discussed since her initial declaration that she _needed_ to think of this baby as a boy. But it was getting easier to picture them with a baby girl, to _want_ that little girl. But at the same time, she couldn’t turn away the image of a miniature Hamish. It felt impossible to pick one over the other.

Elaine relaxed immediately, her smile growing again as a sparkle came into her blue eyes. “You aren’t too old to try for them both.”

Vera should have seen the response coming, but it made her heart drop all the same. She let her smile falter a little but refused to let it drop entirely as she glanced down at her little bump. “I think this pregnancy might be enough for me,” she said, attempting to keep her voice light as she beat down the tingle in the back of her mind that said _if I had time…_

The spark in Elaine’s eye didn’t die at her words. “Well, I’m hoping for a boy. Little boys are always such joys.” She looked at Hamish, her smile turning sad for a moment before she forced the cheeriness back into her expression.

Vera unconsciously dropped her hand to her belly, her heart breaking for the woman who didn’t understand why her son had pushed her away. Vera knew the grief of losing a child. She couldn’t imagine the pain of knowing your child was still out there but had chosen to cut you out of their life.

Niall was snorting, reaching out to rest a hand on the back of his wife’s chair. “The Duke’s have enough boys,” he commented. “Three generations of them. We’re running out of names.”

Vera looked at him, perplexed, as Hamish chuckled. “Names?” she asked.

Elaine rolled her eyes. “The family is big on tradition.”

“I hope you’ll consider some family names, at least,” Niall said.

Vera looked at Hamish, still lost.

“He means Scottish,” he said, matching his mother’s eye roll. “But we don’t need to pick one from that list.”

His father scowled but didn’t try to argue his point.

“We can take a look, at least,” Vera said. She wasn’t willing to promise anything, but the tradition seemed important to Hamish’s father, as well as their family, and it wouldn’t hurt to consider a few names. She could see instantly that it was the correct response, as Niall straightened, giving her a small smile and a nod.

“Do you have any names in mind already?” Elaine asked.

Vera shook her head. “Honestly, I was never the kind of girl who planned out her dream wedding and had all the kids’ names picked out since she was little.” She hesitated, glancing down, before continuing. “When I had my daughter-…it’s still strange to think I may need to be more specific in the future,” she admitted. “But with my daughter, I almost didn’t have a name picked out in time. It wasn’t until the first round of false labor that it hit me that I actually needed to name her.”

Hamish chuckled softly, likely remembering her mentioning that there had been multiple trips to the hospital before the real deal.

Elaine smiled sadly. “I can’t even imagine,” she whispered, hesitating before she asked, “Do you mind if I ask…”

“Mom,” Hamish warned.

Vera set a steadying hand on his arm and let out a breath. Talking about Alyssa had gotten a little bit easier over the past weeks. They still hadn’t reached the end of her photo album but a couple times a week, she and Hamish would sit down and go through a page or two. She liked to think she was learning to handle the emotions those memories brought up, now that she was facing them head on and not waiting until everything had already bottled up inside for too long.

“It’s okay,” Vera told them. She focused on Hamish, his gentle blue eyes, the feel of his hand reaching out to grasp hers. “It has taken me twenty years to be ready to talk about her, but I don’t want to tiptoe around and pretend she never existed.” She took in another breath, still focused only on Hamish as she spoke. “Her name was Alyssa. I was only sixteen when she was born, and clueless. My parents didn’t take it well, so I was living with an aunt at the time. She was born in May, so I was lucky and had the whole summer before I had to go back to school. It was difficult, but Alyssa was such an easy baby, we were making it work. My aunt had started working weekends and night shifts when she could, so she could watch Alyssa while I was at school, but that meant I was usually home alone with her. And at first, it all went fine.”

Vera paused to take a shaky breath. “Looking back, there were some signs but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. There were days she’d get real fussy after eating. We were introducing new foods and I assumed that was just making her gassy. Nobody in my family had allergies. It wasn’t something I even considered.”

“It was an allergic reaction, then?” Niall asked quietly.

Vera nodded, giving a small snort to mask her desire to sob. The whole thing was just so ridiculous. “My own birthday is December 31st. Since it’s so close to Christmas, my family used to tease me about getting me a fruitcake for a birthday cake. That year had been…difficult, and I guess my cousins thought I needed a pick me up, so for Christmas, I ended up unwrapping something like a dozen fruitcakes. I remember thinking it was funny, at the time. Alyssa kept reaching for them, so a few days later, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let her have a taste…she started getting fussy right away. Her face started turning red. I thought she was just getting grouchy. She hadn’t napped yet. It took several more minutes before I realized she was having trouble breathing…I called for an ambulance, but by the time it got there, she was already gone. They tried to…it was too late.”

“Oh my God,” Elaine murmured. When Vera looked up, the woman was covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes watery.

Vera took in a shaky breath. “I’ve spent most of my life trying to hide from that day. I’ve barely acknowledged my birthday in years.” She’d never even told Hamish when it was before now. For years, her only consolation was that it was acceptable to drink on New Years Eve, so no one ever questioned the drink in her hand, even when she’d been younger and took it too far some years. She set a hand back on her belly. “I don’t know if it’s a blessing or not that this baby is due the same time of year.” She hoped that maybe it’d be able to mask some of the sadness Christmas-time always brought for her. Maybe everything had happened the way it was supposed to, so she could finally mend the horrors of her past.

Hamish seemed to echo her thoughts because he smiled weakly at her. “I think she would have been proud of you.”

Vera wasn’t as sure about that, but she hoped so. Forcing a smile, she abruptly changed the subject to happier things. “How about we show you what we’ve been working on in the nursery?” She could see Hamish starting to protest and rolled her eyes. “You can bring me a chair,” she told him.

The sight of the little wolf pups tumbling along the walls still made Vera smile. The outlines of what would become Jack and Randall’s wolves were drawn together on one wall, the pups rolling together in play in front of a woodsy background. Silver Tundra sat alone on another wall, head cocked cutely as his too large paws held open the pages of a book. Vera sometimes wondered what the hides thought about their fluffy, cartoon depictions, but she wouldn’t change a thing. It was a baby’s room, after all. Likewise, she didn’t care whether Hamish’s parents approved of the choice, or if the ooh’s were genuine.

“Have you been looking at furniture yet?” Elaine asked. “Niall knows a man who does amazing custom designs. We’d love to have him do something for you, if you have an idea what you like,” she said, speaking for both her and her husband. 

And that was how they ended up sitting on the floor in the middle of the nursery, laptop resting on the chair Hamish had originally brought for Vera, as they discussed designs and wood choices and what pieces were needed or not likely to be used.

Hamish had looked flustered at first, and had tried to convince them to return to the living room, at least, but the finished product was easier to picture when they were sitting in the nursery and could visualize how the crib would fit against a certain wall or how the rocking chair might fit into a corner of the room. Eventually, Vera had managed to shoo him out of the room entirely, leaving her and Elaine to continue designing the nursery.

Elaine smiled as they heard the tv turn on in the living room. “It’ll be good for Niall and Hamish to have some time alone,” she commented.

Vera looked at her questioningly. She knew that the relationship between Hamish and his parents had been strained, and she got the impression that Elaine had always been the glue of the family, keeping her boys connected, but she was curious to hear more from Elaine’s side.

Elaine’s smile grew sadder. “I’m sure you’re aware that Hamish struggled after Cassie’s death. He was so young, and he’d never lost someone close to him before, and he spiralled. Neither of us were sure how to handle him, but it was harder for Niall. Hamish had always been such a bright child, and Niall had been so proud when he decided to study law, so when Hamish dropped pre-law and struggled to find a new path, Niall felt like it was his job to try and get him back on track. It’s led to quite a few arguments over the years. They could use some time to learn to talk again.”

Vera offered her a smile. “I think Hamish feels the same way.”

Elaine sighed softly. “I wish I knew what we could have done differently back then. We tried to give him space, we pushed, none of it mattered. He just kept getting further away from us.” She looked up at Vera and gave a weak smile. “So thank you, for whatever you did to make him reach out again.”

Vera gave a short laugh. “I didn’t do anything, unless you count getting too comfortable in my birth control. It was Hamish who decided he was finally ready. This baby has both of us rethinking some decisions we’ve made about our lives.”

Elaine was smiling as she looked back at the screen. “All babies are blessings, but this one might be just a bit more so. Now, what are your thoughts on bedding, dear? We’re not going to find an exact match for your wall theme, so I’m thinking we stay away from prints.”

Vera shifted, tucking her feet up under her. This was already proving to be such a different experience than the first. Alyssa had had to share a room with her, so there had been no planning a nursery or choosing special furniture. There had just been an old crib that Aunt Tammy had gotten from a friend, tucked into a corner of a room that still hadn’t felt like hers.

She must have stayed quiet too long, because Elaine looked over at her. “Unless you had something in mind?” she questioned. “I only recommend we stay away from white. One of Niall’s brother’s wives tried to do a nursery in all white. Thought it looked like some magazine spread that way. I think it might have been Ewan, or maybe it was Lachlan, whoever it was, that boy never could keep anything down and after a month of him spitting up all over everything, those white sheets weren’t so pristine anymore,” she said with a smile.

Vera bit back a smile at the woman’s enthusiasm. “I’m not in a hurry to get the smaller things. I think I’ll let them finish the painting before I make any more decisions on color schemes.”

Elaine nodded in agreement. “Who’s doing the painting again?” she asked.

“The undergrads Hamish took under his wing in that campus safety club he heads up.” She was glad they’d taken the time to create a plausible explanation for the Knights that they could all stick with.

Elaine’s smile saddened again. “I’m glad he found an outlet for his feelings about Cassie’s death. I know he blamed himself. He never accepted that there was nothing he could have done.”

Vera hesitated before asking, “What happened, exactly?” She knew that Cassie’s death had been twisted into a fatal car accident, but she didn’t know the details that the public had been given. It had been before her promotion, so even if she’d been present for the ceremony, the previous Temple Magus would have been in charge of identifying any suspicious deaths and modifying them. Elaine looked at her curiously and she hurried to add, “I know it was a car accident, but I’ve never pushed him to give me the details.” Not about the fake incident, in any case.

“It was a hit and run,” Elaine sighed. “It was late and they were walking back to the dorms together. The driver wasn’t paying attention and the car went up onto the sidewalk. Hamish was on the far side, and walked away without a scratch. Cassie died before the ambulance arrived. They never caught the driver.” Elaine met Vera’s gaze. “None of us have ever been able to empathize with what he must have felt that night, but I imagine you do.”

Vera glanced down. “I know the feeling,” she agreed.

“I wish neither of you had had to, but I’m glad you’ve found each other.”

Vera looked back towards the open door. She could just make out the low mumblings of the two men talking from the living room, their voices steady and perhaps a bit overly polite. A small smile tugged at her lips. “Me too,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of assuming here that Belgrave's mascot is a wolf. There did just so happen to be a wolf mascot on campus in season one, and since there's always been that connection between Belgrave/The Order/The Knights, it makes sense that in the beginning, they may have chosen The Knights to be their mascot.
> 
> And I don't know why Lilith has always struck me as the potentially artsy one but when I was thinking of them drawing out original wolves for the room, it was always Lilith I pictured doing it.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2:30 am but Merry Christmas Eve! lol. I wanted to get this out before Christmas stuff takes over for a couple days.

Vera ignored the racket coming from the nursery. She’d long ago learned that the wolves were incapable of doing anything quietly and she just had to trust that they were actually getting something accomplished. Attempting to oversee their work just left her stressed.

She nearly jumped up when an unexpected knock sounded at the door, but forced herself to remain seated at the last second. She hated feeling so helpless, especially when she couldn’t be sure it would even help in her situation, but that same reasoning was the reason she did it anyways. She just didn’t know.

“Would one of you mind getting that?” she called over her shoulder.

“On it!” Jack answered, appearing a moment later…covered in paint.

Vera sighed but didn’t comment on it. If they’d ruined anything, she would have heard Lilith chewing them out over it.

“You expecting somebody?” Jack asked as he approached the front door.

“No,” Vera told him. “It’s probably a package or something.”

“I don’t think so. It looks like a woman.”

Vera scowled, wondering who would have the audacity to interrupt her at home. Her home had always been off-limits to work related drop ins, both for the Order and general Belgrave staff. The only people she could think of stupid enough to show up at her doorstep were currently working in the nursery.

“See what she wants,” Vera told him.

There was a brief pause before he responded. “It’s your mother-in-law. Want me to let her in?”

Vera shut her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. The last thing she needed was anyone getting any ideas about _marriage. “We aren’t married,”_ she growled, knowing he’d pick up on the low tone. “Yes, let her in.”

Vera had closed her laptop and was sitting upright when they appeared a moment later.

“Hello, dear,” Elaine greeted cheerfully. “I heard Hamish had to go out for a bit, and Niall’s going to be in meetings most of the day, so I thought I’d stop by and keep you company, but I see that was an assumption on my part.”

She snorted. “Hamish has made sure I’ve had my babysitters since I left the hospital. Mr. Morton, here, is-”

“I’m Jack,” Jack cut in, causing Vera to glare. “I’m a Knight too.”

Vera’s jaw clenched but she forced a light laugh, as if she found the comment amusing. “The _campus safety club,”_ she hissed, “has a bit of an inflated sense of self-importance.”

Jack cringed, but she still wished she could slap him for his stupidity.

Elaine, thankfully, laughed along. “Nothing wrong with that,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you, Jack.”

“The others are in the nursery,” Vera said, waving a hand absently in that direction. “Jack, if you would?”

He nodded, turning to fetch the others.

Vera smiled at Elaine. “And you’re welcome to stay. I have been trying to avoid the chaos in there, myself.”

“Wonderful. Perhaps I could order in lunch for us all later?”

Vera gestured towards the now silent nursery again. “The benefit of having several undergrads at my disposal. I was already planning on sending someone.”

“Send Randall,” Lilith grumbled, joining the conversation as she was the first to appear. “He’s messing things up in there.”

“But Greybeard doesn’t _want_ to be on the bottom,” Randall whined. “Why can’t Silverback-”

“Like Greybeard could take Silverback,” Jack taunted.

Vera eyed Elaine tiredly. “They’ve named the wolves,” she told her.

“I could take you,” Randall argued, oblivious. Finally, he spotted Elaine and stopped abruptly, giving a big smile. “Oh, hi Mrs. Duke.”

“Hello again, Randall,” Elaine said, her own small smile looking rather amused.

“You’ve met Hamish’s parents?” Lilith asked, sounding a bit put out.

He shrugged unapologetically. “He’s known me longest.”

“Why wouldn’t he-”

“Enough!” Vera raised her voice.

The Knights abruptly went quiet, all turning to face her, as Elaine chuckled.

Vera forced a smile. “Now,” she said calmly. “You’ve already been introduced to Jack and, it appears, Mr. Carpio, so that leaves Lilith Bathory,” she indicated the grumbling girl, who’d thankfully taken to disguising the marks left behind from her time in the demon realm any time she left the Den, “and Gabrielle Dupres.”

Elaine pulled each of them into a hug. “It’s wonderful to meet you all. We saw the nursery when we arrived and you’ve done a marvelous job so far.”

Vera noticed a smug look come over Lilith at the praise and suppressed her own smile. Lilith had never been one to seek her approval and it seemed preferable to let her own thanks for the work go through Hamish.

“If anyone asks, it was all my idea,” Randall said, earning a slap from the girls on either side of him.

Vera rolled her eyes. It wasn’t even worth joining the argument that was sure to follow. “Why don’t you four get back to work until it’s time for lunch?”

“When _is_ lunch, by the way?”

Vera sighed. Something was seriously wrong with that boy. “Later. Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen if you must.”

“Yes!” Randall was already heading that way.

“Make that anything we’ve got excess of!” Vera called after him. She could send Hamish to the store to replace whatever his friends ate later, and normally she probably wouldn’t even care what they’d finished off, but pregnancy did strange things to one’s emotions and she didn’t want this to be the day she finally broke down over a lack of peaches or something.

Elaine chuckled softly in understanding as she took a seat across from Vera. “So how are you, dear?”

Vera shifted into a more comfortable position before addressing the woman. “Restless,” she said simply, dropping her hand to her stomach. “I keep reminding myself it’s for the baby, but I’m not used to sitting still so much.”

“Do you have any idea how long you’ll be expected to stay down for?”

“No,” Vera sighed. “I’ve got some tests coming up to try to get to the bottom of this anemia. Hopefully we can talk about it then.” The doctors wouldn’t find an answer, of course, but Hamish and Matti had refused to let her magic her way out of the tests. While doctors wouldn’t be able to cure her, there was some hope that some of their treatment methods might still help. If it could potentially get her off of this couch, she’d go along with it.

“And you’re happy with your doctors? If you need a second opinion, Niall has some contacts we could reach out to.”

Vera nodded. “Thank you, but for the moment, I’m content with the doctors I’ve seen.” Vera didn’t see the point in dragging more doctors into an unsolvable case and she was _not_ giving up her OB/GYN.

“Understandable,” Elaine agreed with a small nod. “Well, I do hope Hamish is prepared to do his part in keeping you sane through this. You let me know if he’s not treating you right.”

Vera gave a genuine laugh at that. “I suspect I’m more likely to need you to pry him away from time to time,” she said.

Elaine laughed along with her. “That doesn’t surprise me,” she admitted, before glancing around as if expecting to see him. “Where is he today anyways?”

Hamish checked his watch for the umpteenth time as he admitted to himself that arriving early hadn’t been the most well thought out idea when it wasn’t likely to get him home any quicker. If he was working alone, sure, but not when this little experiment depended on cooperation between both the Knights and the Order.

Selena Durov finally arrived at precisely the agreed upon time and he wouldn’t have had to know her to sense her tension at the meeting. It flowed off her of like too much perfume. Likewise, it was equally easy to see her relief when she realized it was him.

“You,” she commented, as if he hadn’t been able to sense her nerves. But then maybe she didn’t realize he could.

He nodded, pretending too. “Vera and your Magus want to make this work. We’ve worked together in the past. It seemed our best option.” He would have preferred to stay home with Vera, but he saw the sense in Vera’s choice. He wouldn’t have trusted any of the others to not make matters worse either.

“Yes, well, let’s try to get this over with,” Selena said sharply. She sat down at a desk and grumbled to herself. “Meeting in a classroom is idiotic. Anyone could overhear.”

“I’m not allowed in the Temple and we’re not allowing practitioners into the Den. Where else would you suggest?” Hamish pointed out. At least there were plenty of unused classrooms during the summer session. The chances of someone overhearing enough to be curious were slim.

Selena didn’t answer his question. Instead, she hefted a heavy book onto the desk and flipped it open. “In the past, the Temple Magus…” Meaning Vera, he thought with a smile. “…left the upper level students run the trials for the neophytes with minimal supervision. It seems this year will be a little different, but the basis should still be the same. Now, what do you know about the trials and selection process?”

“Admittedly, not much. I imagine what the Knights went through wasn’t the norm?”

Selena snorted. “No,” she said shortly. “What you got was an illusion of a test. There was never going to be any chance for failure.” She huffed again, as if having to explain this to him was beneath her. “There are three parts to it that the neophytes have to pass. Silence. Subservience. Observance.”

Hamish nodded along, remembering as much from the Knight’s induction into the Order. “I do remember that.”

Selena glared. “But as I said, _you_ were never at risk of failing.” She looked back at her book. “Past Magistrati started keeping a journal for the tests they’ve come up with and what the results were.” She clenched her jaw unhappily before grumbling, “The Temple Magus wants to use you wolves somehow in the tests. I don’t know what he’s hoping to accomplish, but I’ve been looking through these to see if we can modify any past tests to fit. I’m thinking Silence might be our best option. The Order often uses magical creatures for that test anyways.”

Hamish arched a brow. “You want us to replace the _rat_ in a cage?” he said skeptically.

Selena crossed her arms. “Do you have a better idea?”

Hamish gestured towards the book. “May I?” If he had a better idea of what the three tests were meant to reveal, he might be able to come up with a less embarrassing use for the Knights.

Selena shoved the book at him before slouching in her seat without a word.

Hamish skimmed over the entries with half a mind. Silence seemed fairly straightforward. The neophytes simply had to work out that the answer to that particular puzzle was staying quiet. It was a role the Knights could play easily, even if it did seem like a waste.

“How have you liked the new Temple Magus?” Hamish tried to make conversation as he read. There’d been a time he’d gotten along quite well with Selena and he suspected Vera had sent him in an attempt to soften the girl and bridge the gap that had grown between the Order and the Knights. One disciple at a time.

Selena didn’t answer right away and he glanced up, encouraging her to speak up.

She shifted, uncrossing and recrossing her arms. “He’s not Vera,” she said finally.

Hamish didn’t look up. “And is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Vera didn’t deserve to be Grand Magus,” Selena hissed.

Hamish only sighed. There was no point in arguing Vera’s side. Not yet, anyways.

He could hear Selena’s foot tapping beneath her desk, her angry huffs of breath.

“It’s different,” she finally said after several minutes. When he didn’t respond, he heard her give a low growl, like she’d been wanting him to say something. “He’s a strong practitioner, but he’s not intimidating like she was.”

The corner of his lips curled upwards. To him, Vera had never been intimidating. Impressive, yes, but not intimidating. But he’d seen the way the younger disciples had run to do her bidding, before her association with the wolves had changed things. There had been respect there, followed up by a healthy dose of fear that allowed her to keep them all at arm’s length. “So you like him?”

Selena hesitated again. “I don’t know,” she finally admitted. “We’ve all been struggling to find where we stand with him. He’s more relaxed but…” she trailed off, afraid to say too much.

Hamish nodded in understanding though. He’d met the man and it didn’t surprise him that Belgrave’s disciples were struggling to find their footing with the transition. They’d gone from a Magus who devoted her life to the Order, to one who had minimal interest, so long as no one stepped out of line. It would take them all some getting used to, especially once the new acolytes were selected. Which brought him to his next point…

“Vera said the Magus wants the acolytes to be aware of the Knights, and our purpose, but not automatically fear us. I think if we only used the Knights in the Silence test, they’re going to view us as the big, mindless werewolves and nothing else.”

Selena sniffed, as if she didn’t see the problem.

“What do you think about making the Knights the theme of the entire trials?” he asked, before outlining his plan.

Selena pursed her lips when he was finished. “I will run it by the Magus,” she said, still sounding skeptical about the whole thing. “I don’t know how that fits Observance though.”

Hamish rolled his eyes. “Observance can also mean _being_ observant.”

“But the Order-”

“Let’s just try it, okay?” He understood that the Order used the term in the sense of observance of their rituals, but the tests also seemed to be very much at the discretion of the years’ disciples in charge.

“Fine,” she agreed, her wide eyes and tight-lipped smile belying her acceptance.

Hamish shook his head as he got up to leave. One day down, countless to go, and once their plan got approval, they’d be bringing in more disciples and more of the Knights. Then it would be time to discover exactly what kind of control Matthew held over his new disciples. He just hoped it didn’t end in a magic brawl.

“I’m heading home. Once we get approval, we can decide where to meet next time.”

Selena nodded in agreement as she packed the journal into her bag.

“Hamish,” she called after him.

Hamish paused by the door and looked back.

“The rumors…about you and Vera…”

Hamish stayed quiet, uncertain what rumors she meant. He’d heard his share of them, even before they’d left the Order. Now that Vera was pregnant, the possibilities were endless.

“Were you together when she inducted you into the Order?”

Hamish blinked. “No,” he said honestly. “I’d only met her once. I was intrigued, I guess, but we were on opposite sides.” In fact, they had still been on opposite sides when they did finally come together, only she didn’t know it at the time, and his interest in her had only grown in the weeks he’d been near her.

“Then _why?”_ she asked, practically begging to understand. “If she wasn’t already fucking one of you, why did she fight so hard for you? Why did she choose _you_ over _us?”_

Hamish sighed and turned to sit back down. “She didn’t choose one side over the other. Not until she was forced to, at least. She was trying to choose _all_ of us. She saw what the Knights could bring to the Order, what we could do for you. She was looking to strengthen the Order, to help protect it from people like Edward Coventry who would let their own ambition destroy it. It’s what we were first created for, even, when the Knights were originally part of the Order.”

“But she did choose you. She covered for you, over and over. You _stole_ our entire inventory. You left us defenseless. And she just looked the other way.”

“Transitioning the Knights into the Order was always going to take time and a little bit of slack. We weren’t going to be appreciative about being forced into something we hadn’t agreed to.”

“The only _slack_ she was giving was towards you. The rest of us got _demoted_ when we protested it.”

Hamish wanted to argue for Vera, the disciples were supposed to be the constant in this equation, supposed to fall in line and trust her judgement, because in her eyes, she’d already proven herself to them, but he could see why Selena and the others viewed it as an insult to them. They’d been the loyal followers, and they were the ones who seemed to be getting the short end of the stick. They couldn’t see past it to Vera’s vision of what their future could be, once she’d reined in the Knights.

“I know you don’t believe it, but she _was_ trying to do what she thought would be best for everyone.” The problem was, by the time the Knights started to come around to her plan, she was already losing the Order and there’d been too much on her plate to fix it all.

When Selena stayed quiet, he started to stand up again. She would have to come around to the truth on her own time, if she could.

“But she did choose the Knights…in the end,” Selena said quietly.

“She didn’t choose us over you. What she chose was life over death. We were going down, and we were dragging her with us, whether she wanted to or not.”

“She covered up Kepler’s murder.”

“She didn’t even know about it until the Council called in the team to investigate and by then, she didn’t see another option. No one would have believed she hadn’t known.” He could even see it in her expression now. He glanced back towards the door. “Look, I’m going home. Believe what you will. I’ve got better things to do than debate motives all day. It’s over anyways. You have a new Magus to follow. Vera and I have a baby to prepare for. The past is the past.”

“She’s really pregnant then?” she said, despite the fact that Hamish was well aware that Selena had seen Vera at least once since her pregnancy had begun to show. She sounded almost amused by it.

He just nodded, confirming it. “She hasn’t been hiding the fact.”

Selena smiled weakly. “It’s just hard to picture Vera Stone as a mother.”

Hamish gave a sad smile at that. It wasn’t hard at all, actually, and the fact that those in the Order couldn’t see that was just one more reason they didn’t deserve her.

When Hamish arrived home, he was surprised to find his mother sitting on the couch beside Vera. Both women had champagne flutes with what smelled like orange juice in their hands and were giggling about something while looking at the laptop propped up on Vera’s knees.

Vera looked up when he cleared his throat and smiled, green eyes shining happily. “How’d it go?”

Hamish shrugged. “It went. I’m sure Matti will be calling you later to discuss what we came up with.”

Vera’s eyes went to his mother and back, recognizing that he couldn’t say more with her present. She lifted her wine glass to her lips and took a sip.

Hamish chuckled. “And what are you two up to?”

Vera lifted her glass and smiled. “Pretending I can still drink mimosas and trying to decide which name on this list is the most ridiculous,” she said, gesturing towards the computer screen.

“Uh oh,” he teased. “We’re getting into names now?”

“She’s nearly halfway through this pregnancy, Hamish,” his mother chided. “Now’s as good a time as any to start narrowing them down.”

“You’re right, Mom,” he conceded, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek before turning to give Vera a quick peck on the lips. Vera’s lips quirked upwards in amusement at his chaste kiss. He straightened again, looking around as he realized the house was oddly quiet. “Where is everyone?”

“I sent them home after lunch,” Vera said. “Your mother was here and, honestly, their arguing was getting on my last nerve. They’ll be back tomorrow to try to finish up.”

“Sorry,” he said, giving her an apologetic look. He looked over at his mom. “And thank you for keeping her company.”

“My pleasure. Getting to know Vera is a million times more pleasant than waiting on your father to be done with his meetings all day.”

“You’re welcome here any time,” Vera said. She smiled up at Hamish with a teasing glint in her eye. “I suspect I’m going to tire of Hamish’s hovering before long.”

Hamish barked a laugh. “Oh you are, are you?” he asked, perching himself on the arm of the couch, only for Vera to swat at him to get up. She hated when anyone sat on the arms of her expensive couch and it was something she was constantly shooing Jack and Randall away for.

She leaned up and gave him another quick kiss before swatting him again. “Yes. Now up.”

His mother chuckled warmly. “You two are adorable,” she murmured.

Later that evening, Vera was lying on her side in bed, her laptop still open in front of her, when Hamish walked out of the bathroom after his shower.

“What are you doing?” he asked, towel drying his hair with one hand.

“Looking at names,” she said absently, her finger scrolling down the screen as she read. “Your mom’s right. We can at least start putting together a list of what we both like. Did you know Hamish is a variant of James?”

“I did,” he acknowledged. “Are you thinking James for a boy?”

“Maybe a middle name,” she shrugged.

Hamish walked over to the side of the bed. “Just Scottish?” he asked, surprised and yet not when he recognized the common origin of the names on the screen.

“Mmm,” she hummed. “I told your dad we’d consider it.” Her brow furrowed cutely as she scanned the page. “Although honestly, I’m struggling to pronounce half of these.”

Hamish chuckled and sat down beside her. “We can avoid _anything_ you can’t pronounce on sight. Hamish was bad enough growing up.”

“Deal,” Vera said with a chuckle. She looked over her shoulder and slowly sat up. “Do you mind sticking with your family’s traditions on this or would you rather we pick something different?”

Hamish reached out and gently tugged her into his lap, his hand slipping beneath her shirt to rest against her bare skin. “I don’t mind either way. I’m not attached to the idea of using something with Scottish origins, but I’m not against it either.” He stroked his hand along the waistband of her shorts, moving slowly just in case today was the day he’d feel some answering tap against his palm. “You like it though, don’t you?”

Vera took his hand and moved it to a spot low and to the left where she’d presumably felt something earlier. “I like the idea of there being some meaning behind it,” she told him.

That didn’t surprise him at all. “Do you have a list started?”

Vera clicked to a different tab, revealing a brief list of names in two columns. Hamish started to skim over them, stopping almost instantly to laugh. Vera eyed him warily. “What?” she asked.

He tapped one of the first names on the list. “My cousin Sissy would be thrilled if we named the baby after her. Her name is actually Ainsley, but we’ve all called her Sissy since she was a baby.”

Vera cringed, not finding it as amusing as he did. “Okay, so we need to go over what names are already in use.”

Hamish shrugged. “I’ve got a big family. There are more than a few repeats of the more popular names. Nicknames at the big family get togethers aren’t uncommon.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “Write down everything _you_ like,” he told her, grinning as he rubbed at the top of her rounded belly. “And if this ends up being another little Ainsley, or Gavin or Ian, no one will bat an eye.”

Vera huffed but relented, although he suspected she’d be checking with his mother the next time she dropped by, so he made it a point to memorize the names currently on her list. He was going to argue if she dropped a name she liked just because some distant cousin shared it.

She settled back against him, tugging the computer closer before setting one hand over his. Hamish nuzzled her neck, his thumb steadily stroking her stomach, as he wondered whether this was an Ainsley or an Annabel, a Callum, Collin, or Craig. Whatever name they settled on, he knew he’d love it, simply because it would be his child’s name and he already loved that baby with every fiber of his being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to squeeze some more Mama Duke in before I jump ahead too much again.
> 
> I didn't go too into depth on the upcoming neophyte tests, since I'm planning on writing out that chapter anyways. :) And totally random thought this late in the game, but what would the plural of magistratus be? Magistrati I guess? Since we've heard adeptus/adepti. lol.


	47. The Hides Choose Their Champion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! This seems like a fitting Christmas present. It was partly written and I managed to find a bit of time to knock out the rest.

Two weeks later…

Hamish padded softly into the dark room. He could hear Vera’s breaths, deep and steady with sleep. His mother was still sitting by the bedside, quietly stroking her dark hair, and she looked up when his shadow passed over her.

“What did they say?” she whispered.

Hamish sank into the chair on the opposite side of the narrow bed. “They’re going to get her started on an IV to boost her numbers again, but they’re scrambling.”

It hadn’t come as a surprise this time. The decline had been rapid, visible, this time around. The brief boost she’d received from the first blood transfusion had only lasted a short while, the magic cancer refusing to allow the interruption to its progress.

His eyes started to water as he looked down at the swell of her abdomen, covered up by the white sheet. “They’re talking about taking the baby early,” he told her, his voice choked. They’d been for the anatomy scan only the week before and the baby was still _so_ tiny. Too tiny. Her doctor’s words kept ringing in his ears, words like _deficits,_ and _statistically._ The longer they could keep the baby in, the more those numbers changed, but they still had another month before they could say the baby would _probably_ live. Probably. With deficits. Vera would never accept it. He wasn’t sure she’d have a choice. Not at the rate things were happening.

His mom was tearing up with him. “When?” she asked.

He shrugged. “She needs more time. They’re monitoring her and the baby closely from here out.” He knew Vera was never going to agree, not when taking the baby wasn’t going to help her condition anyways, but the doctors had explained the risks and if Vera’s body wasn’t capable of maintaining the pregnancy, delivering early would be the baby’s only chance at survival. So it was a waiting game, a gamble. “Right now,” he said shakily, “it would essentially be a termination.” They didn’t use those words, of course, but the numbers he’d been given were laughably low. “But each week, the odds get a little bit better.”

“And Vera?”

He shrugged again. For that, he had no answers. The doctors were calling it leukemia, despite the fact that it didn’t entirely fit, simply because it was the closest they could relate it to. “They’re trying.” Hamish watched Vera for a few more moments. She slept most of the time now, and the chances that she’d wake up any time soon were slim. He looked back at his mother. “Can you stay with her?”

“Where are you going?” she asked, even as she was already nodding.

He couldn’t explain it to her. He wished he could. He wished he could explain everything. He wished he could powder her and make her forget that Vera was even sick. He wished he could stop her from worrying. “I’ll try not to be long.”

Her lips pursed but she let him go, her gaze returning to Vera’s still form.

Hamish strode out of the room. He needed to update the pack.

The Knights were all in the basement, sprawled out in various positions or leaning up against each other, while books lay open everywhere he looked. Every one of them was already looking up when he appeared in the doorway.

“How is she?” Jack asked, starting to sit up.

He shook his head. “They’re giving her more blood but we know now that won’t last. We need to find an answer for her magic.”

“Has anyone looked through the Vade Maecum?” Lilith asked. “That’s where Alyssa got the spell, right?”

Jack sighed heavily. “I looked. There’s a counter spell, but I think it has to be performed by the same person.” When everyone kept staring at him, he shifted uncomfortably. “I already tried it,” he admitted.

Hamish let out a breath and sunk down beside them, tugging the closest book into his lap. There _had_ to be something.

Hamish glanced at his phone when it buzzed once, but it was only Matti, letting him know he’d relieved Hamish’s mom for a bit so his eyes could readjust after his own hours going through the Temple’s collection. Hamish typed out a quick thanks before slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Maybe we’re going about this wrong,” Jack said.

Hamish glanced over at the boy. Jack was leaning back against one of the bookcases, staring up at the ceiling aimlessly. “You have an idea?”

“One we _haven’t_ already tried?” Randall added.

Jack shrugged a shoulder. “We keep looking at this as needing to get Vera’s magic back, but maybe all we need to do is convince Alpha she doesn’t need it.”

Hamish sighed. The hide hadn’t seemed responsive to his previous pleadings. “Everything I’ve read seems to suggest that Alpha is the most particular about his Champions. Without her magic, he won’t consider her.”

“What if we don’t give him a choice?” Jack asked.

Randall snorted. “Have you learned nothing? The hides choose their Champions. Not the other way around. You even had to plead your case to Midnight,” he reminded Jack.

“Maybe, but Alpha is supposed to be the leader, right?”

“Right…” Hamish agreed hesitantly.

“So what if we take away his pack?”

Lilith scoffed, crossing her arms as she stared Jack down. “And how do we do that? I already spent several months in another realm. I’m not going to kill myself just to spite a magic hide.”

“The hides would just pick new Champions anyways,” Hamish said, shaking his head.

“I’m not talking about killing ourselves or taking the Knights out of commission,” Jack said. “We make another pledge. If we pledge our loyalty to _Vera,_ Alpha’s out of a pack, even if he does find a Champion.”

Hamish looked around the room. He wasn’t sure it would be enough, but it was something they hadn’t tried before. Jack he knew would accept, even if he hadn’t been the one to suggest the idea in the first place, and one look at Gabrielle said she was willing to take the oath as well. Which left it up to Randall and Lilith…

Hamish looked to Randall first, pleading. He could see the hesitation in his friend’s eyes, but he hoped Randall had overcome his initial dislike. A week ago, Hamish would have said so without a doubt, but them finding a sort of truce was different than pledging his allegiance to Vera.

Randall looked over at Lilith and Hamish followed his gaze. Lilith had drawn back when the idea was first presented, rejecting it without thought, and she still sat tensely. Of all the Knights, Lilith had remained the most distant and Hamish couldn’t get the first words he’d ever overheard her speak to Vera out of his head. _I’ve always hated you._ Lilith had seemed okay about his relationship with Vera, supportive even, but he couldn’t say where her personal feelings lied. There was more of a distance between the two women than anyone else in the pack.

“Lil?” he called. Randall was going to follow her lead in this one.

Lilith met his gaze, brown eyes guarded and defiant, but, slowly, she wilted. “I guess we’re basically following her already,” she relented.

Hamish let out a relieved breath and looked back at Randall, who shrugged. “At least she’ll be one of us this time,” Randall said.

“I’ll get Alpha,” Jack said, pushing himself off the floor.

“Now?” Randall asked, his head jerking around.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Did you want to wait for a full moon?”

Hamish let out a breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding.

A few minutes later, the Knights were standing inside the hide locker. Alpha lay spread across its trunk, only the quiet rise and fall of breaths belying its true nature. They had briefly discussed what to say, before deciding to keep it simple. No mistakes. No loopholes.

Hamish stepped forward first, breaking the semi-circle they formed. Slicing his palm with one claw, he let his blood drip onto the ground inches from the hide. “As Tundra’s chosen Champion, I pledge my loyalty and service to Vera Stone.” The words seemed to echo through the room, echo through _him,_ and he could sense Tundra repeating the oath as his vision grew sharper as the wolf came to the surface.

In front of him, Alpha had seemed to stop breathing, waiting.

As Hamish stepped back into line, Jack stepped forward and repeated the oath. Tundra thrummed with pleasure when Jack’s eyes turned silver, but Hamish’s stomach was in knots. Jack stepped back in line, turning to look at Hamish questioningly. Hamish shrugged, unsure what was happening, but one by one, the others approached Alpha and shed their blood, and one by one, their eyes began to glow silver.

“So, did anyone else feel that?” Jack asked, when the last of them stepped back in line.

“That was weird,” Lilith agreed.

“Greybeard didn’t do that when we signed that last contract with Vera,” Randall said.

“What do we do now?” Gabby asked, looking to Hamish.

Hamish looked down at the hide. He didn’t know what he expected, some sign that Alpha had heard them and had accepted, some sign that this wasn’t for nothing. But Alpha wasn’t his hide and the unbonded ones had always been nearly impossible to read. “We see if it worked,” he said, stepping forward. He set a hand on the white hide and, when nothing happened, carefully picked it up.

Matti was waiting outside the door when they arrived, his mother having resumed her place at Vera’s bedside, and he stepped forward immediately, meeting them halfway down the hall. “You said you have something?”

“We hope,” Hamish told him, glancing back at the rest of the wolves. The bag containing Alpha’s hide hung at Jack’s side, a tuft of white peeking out from the top. Matti’s sharp eyes spotted it instantly.

“Is it safe?” he asked.

Hamish’s mouth pressed into a tight line. That was debatable. The Knights almost always transformed right afterwards, which would mean they’d soon be coming face to face with what could be an angry werewolf who needed to hunt. But if this didn’t work, if Alpha still refused her, Hamish didn’t want to remove Vera from the hospital.

Matti sighed. “I’ll see what I can do to clear the floor,” he offered.

“Thanks.” He hesitated, then said, “My mom doesn’t know-”

“I got that,” Matti said. “Send her out when you’re ready. I’ll handle it.”

Hamish gave the man a small nod of thanks. “I just need to talk to her first.” He needed his mom to hear how much he appreciated her staying by Vera’s side, even if, if things went well, she wouldn’t even remember that Vera had been so ill, soon enough.

Matthew nodded. “Yep.” He looked over at the rest of the pack. “Anyone want to help me knock out a bunch of innocent civilians? Thank God this isn’t the ICU floor,” he muttered, turning towards the nurses station.

Hamish crept into the room for the second time that day. Once again, his mother was sitting by Vera’s side, this time humming softly, the same song she used to sing when he’d been a little boy.

She looked up immediately. “Is everything alright? I thought you would have been back sooner,” she asked, concern filling her voice.

Hamish gave a weak smile. “I got caught up in something, but I think it’s all okay now.”

She nodded, still frowning slightly. “What’s going on, Hamish?”

He swallowed thickly. “What do you mean?”

“Only that I feel like I’m missing something. I’ve seen the way you are with her, and while I’m happy to stay here with her, I can’t imagine what could have pulled you away from her side today. And then there’s the doctors. They all seem to be floundering around like fish, but neither of you seem interested in getting a second opinion. And that man today, her friend, he didn’t seem the least bit surprised to find her like this. If anything, he seemed to have been expecting it. But when I questioned him, he just up and walked out of the room.” She held his gaze pleadingly. “Tell me Hamish, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Mom…”

She looked down at Vera. “I know we haven’t known her long, but your father and I both consider her family now. Your father’s been calling every hour for updates. And that is our grandbaby she’s carrying. So please, no more secrets.”

“I…” Hamish didn’t know what to say. He’d wanted to thank her, that was all. Not get into a debate about secrets again.

“I can’t do this with you anymore,” she said, her voice choked and teary. “Things have finally started to feel _normal_ these past few weeks. I can’t go back to the secrets.”

“Hamish?” A new voice cut into the conversation. They both looked down at Vera, who was blinking tiredly. “What are you doing here?”

Hamish stiffened slightly. “What?”

“I knew you’d need to go,” she said quietly, shifting slightly so she faced him more fully. “It’s why I told you to call your mom.”

Hamish glanced over at his mother, who looked more confused than ever, before looking back at Vera. “I’m back now,” he told her, reaching for her hand.

She gave a small, tired laugh. “Still no answers then?”

Hamish looked to his mom again, hesitating.

“You should tell her,” Vera whispered. “She’s tougher than you think. She can handle it.”

Hamish swallowed. Not like this. Not with no thought. No plan. “Not right now,” he said, if only to appease them both.

“Mmm,” Vera hummed, unsurprised.

“Mom, I need a few minutes with Vera.”

She sighed but nodded, putting her hands on her knees as she pushed herself up from a chair she’d been sitting in far too long. “I’ll be just outside.”

“Thank you,” he called after her. “For staying with her.”

Afterwards, Hamish stayed quiet, listening as her footsteps faded into the hallway, and then as somebody said the words that would make her sleep. Thankfully, he never heard her hit the floor.

Vera had been listening too. “Hamish, what’s going on?”

“We might have found something,” he told her cautiously, trying not to let either of them get too excited.

He shouldn’t have worried. Vera simply shifted again, turning onto her back, as she let out a huff. “Let me see it first,” she relented.

“It’s not a spell,” he told her. “You don’t even have to do anything.”

Her brow arched.

Hamish looked over at the open door. “Guys, come on,” he called. “Getting your magic back…we’ll keep trying,” he told Vera. “We’re not giving up. But to us,” he gestured at the others coming in to gather behind him, “having your magic or not doesn’t matter. We’ll follow you either way. And, I hope, we made Alpha see that.”

Jack stepped forward and Vera eyed the hide warily. “We’ve already tried this,” she said quietly.

“Please,” Hamish whispered. “It can’t hurt to try.”

Vera sighed wearily but nodded. “Bring it here.”

Hamish took the hide from Jack and draped it across Vera’s lap. “Please,” he whispered, trailing his hand along the hide’s back. _Please work._

Vera glanced up at him, her lips pressed together tightly, before looking at the wolf hide. With an unimpressed look, she brushed her thumb across the wolf’s head. “Well, Alpha?” she said flatly.

Everybody seemed to be holding their breath this time, waiting to see if Alpha would take their recommendation of a Champion. For the longest moment, nothing seemed to happen and all he could hear was his own heart pounding in his chest. One beat. Two. Three. Four.

The hide moved.

He could see the surprise, mixed with fear, on Vera’s face as Alpha began to twine his way around her outstretched arm. Before he had a chance to speak up, to reassure her, Alpha had expanded, enveloping her. And then the hide was gone. Vera’s eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed.

Hamish jolted forward, gathering her in his arms. “She’s supposed to transform. Why isn’t she transforming?”

“Gabby didn’t either,” Randall reminded him.

Gabrielle glared at her boyfriend. “Because Midnight was trying to take over my body, idiot,” she hissed.

Jack shifted uncomfortably. “I couldn't transform when I had both Silverback and Midnight. Every time I tried, I ended up in the collective unconscious.”

“…that’s where I went too,” Gabrielle admitted. “Midnight’s past Champions were there…Kyle, was there.”

“Do you think…” Jack said hesitantly.

Gabrielle shrugged. “We forced Alpha into this. Maybe he’s got a message for her, like Midnight did with me.”

Hamish swallowed thickly. “She can’t get hurt there, right?” All he could picture was Alpha’s last Champion. The woman who had tried to sacrifice herself to kill Vera.

“I don’t think so,” Jack said.

“Not physically, at least,” Gabrielle whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally there! I've got a good bit of the next chapter written out already too, since these were main points in my plotline, so I should be able to get it up one day this weekend after the next round of Christmas/family stuff.


	48. The Collective Unconscious Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Sorry this took so long. I was hoping to get it up over the weekend, but alas, there's always something here to distract me. Although in this case, it was a fun something. We had our first baby alpaca born this weekend! And seeing as I already have a scottish theme going with them, it seemed only fitting that I name the new baby boy Hamish! Then Hamish's arrival kicked off the start of my next round of baby goats, since they apparently were jealous.
> 
> Anyways, long chapter and I'm not entirely pleased with it all but it was already wordy enough so it'll do. Apologies if there's any weird random letters or spaces. lol. I'm trying to type this up in the barn and I keep having baby goats land on the keyboard. haha.

Vera was sitting in a field, surrounded by trees and…ruins? She didn’t recognize the place, but it was quiet. Peaceful. The opposite of what her life had typically been. She sighed heavily. So Alpha had killed her, then. She’d seen it happen once before, and Alpha’s previous Champion had been a woman dead set on killing her. The idea that Alpha would select both of them seemed ridiculous, now that she thought about it. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

She looked around the empty glade. This wasn’t what she’d pictured for the afterlife. Vera had always imagined being greeted by Aunt Tammy, Alyssa in her arms. When Aunt Tammy had died so unexpectedly, that had been the one thought that got Vera through it. Aunt Tammy was there to look after Alyssa for her until she could join them, and that reunion was what had allowed her to be at peace with the cost of the Fors Factorum. At least until she’d found someone else to live for, someone who made her want to wait.

Vera looked down at her belly and then rested her hand against it as she bit down against her lower lip. It was still a rounded little mound, barely five months along. It wasn’t enough. Her baby would never get to experience life. Hamish would never meet his son or daughter. She closed her eyes. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about her life had been fair.

Behind her, someone cleared their throat.

Vera looked over her shoulder. The young girl standing there looked perfectly ordinary, like any other student Vera could have passed on campus. But she recognized her, if only from the picture on Hamish’s nightstand. “You’re Cassie…”

The blonde gave a small, wry smile as she nodded.

Vera sighed. “Well isn’t this awkward,” she murmured to herself, before rising to stand herself. Vera had never been jealous of the girl. Cassie was in Hamish’s past, and she couldn’t fault him for having loved before her, but she’d also never expected to meet the girl and the idea that Cassie was standing beside her now left her feeling unsettled. Would Hamish be joining them one day? Would they be expected to share him? _That_ Vera wasn’t sure she could handle.

Cassie gave a quick, light laugh. “You’re not dead,” she said. “Or dying, even. This is the collective unconscious.”

“The-” Vera had heard the theory, of course. “What am I doing here?”

“Alpha brought you here,” Cassie told her. “Champions of the past live on here, and the Knights can talk through us, when they need to.”

“But you weren’t Alpha’s?” Vera said questioningly.

Cassie chuckled. “No,” she agreed. “But you’re a bit of a special case, and we’ll get to that. But first, there’s somebody else you should meet.”

Vera nearly jumped as a man appeared before her. He was tall and serious, with thick glasses and a clothing style that dated him somewhat. He gave her a polite nod.

“Hello, Vera. My name is Grafton Davis. I was chosen to be Alpha’s Champion, some seventy years ago.”

Vera nodded slowly, the name familiar. “You were Alpha’s last known Champion.” As well as the one who’d left the Knights of St. Christopher.

A flash of something that looked like regret passed over the man’s expression, before it was gone again. “That would be why I am here,” he said. “As you’re aware, you were not Alpha’s first choice in a Champion.”

Vera nodded, the rejection hitting harder somehow now that she had been chosen. “My magic?” she asked.

Grafton nodded. “If it weren’t for that, Alpha would be quite pleased with you as her Champion. You meet every other requirement, and you’re experienced, something the Knights have lacked in the time since they split from the Order. But as you are, you are incomplete, and Alpha views that as enough of a fault to dismiss all your positive attributes.”

Vera flushed under the backhanded compliment. “I’m not giving up. We’ll keep searching until we find a way to return my magic.”

“And that is what your pack promised as well, when they forced Alpha’s hand.”

Vera frowned. “Forced?” She looked between the two past Champions. Cassie was biting her lips, holding back her amusement. Grafton was harder to read, but she thought she saw a hint of approval there.

“Alpha is particular about her Champions, because when the leader fails, then so does the pack. _I_ was one such failure. I failed those who depended upon me, and the Vade Maecum was nearly unleashed on the world because of my mistakes. It cost the lives of several Champions, and one of the Knights, to stop Jurgen.”

“I understand that,” Vera said. She had seen firsthand what could happen when she made the wrong choices. “But I also know _this_ pack. Jack Morton makes foolish decisions, probably every week, but I hand-selected him for the Order because he has a heart and a morality that the Order has been sorely lacking. Gabrielle Dupres hides her need to feel accepted behind a mask, but she finally started to relax when she began spending time with the wolves. Lilith Bathory isn’t very different, in that regard. I suspect she would still claim she hates me, if we were to ask, but she’s also fiercely loyal to the pack and I trust that she would follow my lead when it matters. _Randall,”_ she said, gritting her teeth around the name, “is a clown, but he cares deeply about the things that matter, sometimes with single-minded focus. And Hamish…Hamish is my partner. And not just in my personal life. I keep learning that I need to listen when he speaks, even when I don’t want to, because it’s usually not without reason.” Vera took in a breath. “They’re young. They need guidance. But I don’t think I need my magic to do that. We’ve all got different strengths and weaknesses. It’s why the Knights work as a pack and not as individuals. They’ve covered for me with my magic before. We’ll find a way to make this work until I get it back.”

Cassie was grinning when she finished and even Grafton looked mildly impressed. “I suspect you may be right,” Grafton told her. “And that is why the pack decided to pledge their loyalty to _you_ over Alpha.”

Vera stared, stunned. “They what?” She could see Hamish doing something like that but the others? Jack, Gabrielle, Lilith, _Randall?_

Cassie was nearly bouncing on her toes in her excitement. She nodded, wearing a huge grin. “They basically told Alpha ‘screw you’. They were following you or no one,” she said animatedly.

“But-“ Vera was struggling to process it all. “I was dying. Alpha could have just waited. Once I was gone, they wouldn’t have had anyone to gather behind instead.”

Cassie snorted. “You really think Hamish would have agreed to follow Alpha after she let you die? Alpha would have lost this pack either way.”

“And perhaps more,” Grafton said quietly. “By pledging themselves to you, they left Alpha with a choice. Alpha could support your claim for leadership, or leave the pack without any leader at all. Alpha has decided that, while you may not be a proper Champion, you have proven yourself worthy of calling yourself her Champion and the leader of the Knights of St. Christopher.”

Cassie guffawed. “What he’s trying to say is that Alpha needed you as much as you needed her. Neither of you were taking control of that pack without the other.”

Grafton relented with a small nod. “It seems Alpha has much to prove before regaining the others’ loyalty. In this lifetime, they follow you, not because you are Alpha’s Champion, but because you’ve earned the role yourself.”

Vera shifted uncomfortably under the proud gazes of the two past Champions. “And the other hides, they’re accepting of this?” Vera directed the question at the younger girl, the one she suspected was here as a representative of those other five Knights. She’d seen enough to know that the hides were capable of acting on their own, if the need was great enough. She needed to know where she stood with them as well.

Cassie’s brow furrowed, her eyes narrowing briefly before widening again in understanding. “Of course,” she said then. “You’ve had Timber’s interest since you turned on your Order and sided with the Knights to take down Edward Coventry. And while you may have pissed off Lilith when you took their memories and then forced them into the Order, the Knights themselves don’t typically hold grudges about that sort of thing. They’re too long-lived. Timber’s been watching you and she was happy to take the oath, alongside Lilith.”

_“Timber_ pledged herself to me,” Vera repeated in disbelief.

“They all did,” Grafton corrected. “As I said, they left Alpha no real choice in the matter. They had all turned their backs on her.”

“I thought you meant…” she trailed off, shaking her head. She had no reason to think she’d gained the loyalty of any of the five hides. After everything the Order had done, everything _she’d_ done, they had no reason to choose to follow her. Hamish had told her that Midnight had even wanted her dead, her lack of magic being the thing that prevented her from facing the same end as Alyssa Drake. “Midnight-”

“Midnight was the hardest sell,” Grafton admitted. “Of the five, Midnight expects the most from her Champions, and she’s seen too many of them lost to stupidity and poor decisions. Especially in these last few centuries. It’s left her a bit bitter. But Midnight has come to see that you won’t ask anything of her Champion that you wouldn’t ask of yourself, and she can respect that.”

Vera let out a breath. Vera had put the responsibility of caring for the Order’s children, and in fact the whole of Belgrave’s population, on her own shoulders at a young age. She had always pushed herself to be better, to do more. But the idea of these ageless, immortal Knights putting their trust in her increased the pressure to unimaginable levels.

“Alpha will be with you,” Grafton reassured her gently. “Lean on her knowledge and that of your pack. If you trust in them, you won’t go wrong.”

Vera took in another breath and let it out slowly. She could do this. Unconsciously, her hand reached down to cup her belly, taking comfort in the reminder that she wasn’t alone, she wouldn’t be alone. Grafton snorted quietly and she glanced down as she realized what she was doing before looking back up to meet his eyes.

“And no,” he said with a soft smile, “you aren’t the first of us to bear a child. There’s no danger. However, Alpha would like to postpone your first transformation until after the birth.”

“There’s a little bit of a learning curve,” Cassie interjected, pinching her fingers close together.

Grafton eyed the girl sidelong before nodding. “You have to find the right balance for control during the transformations. It will be easier if you aren’t worrying about your child when you attempt it.”

“Tell her thank you,” Vera said, feeling relieved that she was putting that off for the time being.

“Alpha knows,” Grafton said. “It’s you who has to learn to listen to her in return.”

Vera nodded, thankful she would have Hamish and the others to help her figure it out.

Grafton eyed the younger girl once again. “That is all I’ve come to say, but I believe she is not ready to let you leave yet.” Then he turned and walked away. For just an instant, Vera saw others standing in the shadows of the trees, hundreds of them, before Grafton Davis disappeared into their midst and they were gone.

Vera looked back at Cassie. She was ready to get back to the real world, to Hamish, to let him know she was going to be okay. Cassie was still grinning, her smile so familiar from the picture Vera had seen so many nights at the Den. “Was there something you wanted me to tell Hamish?” she asked.

The twinkle in the girl’s eyes dimmed briefly at the thought before she shook her head and the look was gone. “No. Truly, I just wanted to get the chance to meet you and let you know myself, I am so happy Hamish found you. Hamish had always dreamed of a more settled life, with a stable job and a family, before he met me. I was the adventuresome one. I never would have been happy with the life he wanted, and for awhile I was afraid he was giving it up anyways. It’s a relief to know I didn’t totally derail his entire life.” Her grin widened as she eyed Vera’s belly. “And you’d better believe I’ll be watching how this little one turns out. Tundra’s got high hopes for his little future Champion.”

“What?!” Vera yelped, her hand covering her belly protectively.

“You hadn’t figured out why Tundra instigated the whole thing?” Cassie giggled.

Vera just stared at her. Truthfully, she hadn’t even truly believed Hamish when he’s said Tundra had manipulated him into it. She’d been pissed and he’d been terrified and she thought he was just looking for a way out of taking his share of responsibility for their recklessness.

Cassie had started smirking. “Do you know _why_ Alpha can hold the attention of five very different personalities? It’s because any one of them would have claimed you as one of their own Champions. The only reason you weren’t already a Knight is because there were no spare hides that day you walked into the Den. Without Alpha there to overrule their claim, you would have been fair game.”

Vera kept staring, speechless. One of the hides could have claimed her a year ago? That would have been a complete and utter disaster, one she’d never even considered when she walked into the Den that day.

“All of the hides can immediately sense a person that they could work with,” Cassie continued. “It happens from time to time, but in most cases, it’s just a fleeting observation. I never even noticed it with Timber, although I’m sure it happened at some point – Timber is one of the easier hides to bond with. Tundra is different, though. Tundra’s focus is on the mind, which makes his Champions harder to come by but also worth keeping an eye on. I imagine Tundra was thrilled when you and Hamish took a liking to one another. Timber can’t recall that ever happening before.”

Vera’s hand never left her stomach. What would this mean for her baby? Would it even have a choice? No, she knew instantly. She’d seen that already. When the hides chose their Champions, the person’s acceptance didn’t seem to matter. She couldn’t imagine what Hamish would think when he heard. He had rejected the idea of a family initially, claiming the lifestyle was too dangerous. Would he be okay with his child following in his footsteps? Would _she?_

“It will be ages before Hamish is ready to retire,” Cassie said quietly. “You’ll have time to train them. When the Knights used to be a part of the Order, the Champions were always experienced, full members by the time they were chosen. They weren’t like we were, scraping by with little knowledge, if any, of magic.”

Vera heard the words, and they made sense in a way, but all she could think was “Retire?” That was a nice way to say killed, and Vera didn’t want to think about Hamish’s death. She didn’t want to plan for it. For the first time in a decade, she was _finally_ looking towards a real future and she didn’t want to think about how easily that could still be ripped away.

Cassie cocked her head to the side. “Retire,” she repeated with a small, amused grin. “You know, when you step aside so someone younger and more qualified can take your place.” Seeing Vera’s shocked expression, Cassie’s smirk fell. “It was mentioned in some of the journals, but I guess it would have been easy to miss or misinterpret. The Champions used to live a lot longer when they were with the Order. Not all of them, of course, but some did grow old enough for the hides to release them so they could choose someone more able bodied.”

Vera let out a breath. The inevitable deaths of the five wolves was a weight she hadn’t known she’d been carrying and the possibility that she wouldn’t need to watch them each die over the coming years had her tearing up…but that was probably the pregnancy talking. In any case, it was a relief.

A sliver of a smile crept across Cassie’s face. “Tell Hamish he really needs to read those journals.”

Vera barked a laugh. He _had_ been reading them, but she suspected his focus had been on one particular piece of information and not the whole of what he could learn from them. “I will,” she agreed.

Cassie heaved a sigh. “I expect you’re ready to get back.”

Vera nodded. “If you don’t have anything else I need to know.”

Cassie scrunched her nose in thought. “Don’t let Hamish name your baby after me?” she suggested. Then she smiled again. “He doesn’t need to be stuck in the past any more.”

Vera gave her own small smile as she nodded. “We’ve already agreed to that. Between the two of us, there are too many losses.” Still, Vera looked out at the surrounding forest. She was in a place where memory lived on, where you could see your lost loved ones, and here she was talking to two people she’d never even met.

“She couldn’t give you the closure you’re looking for,” Cassie said quietly. When Vera looked at her questioningly, she added, “Your daughter. Seeing her wouldn’t be enough. The memories we’re made up of here…she would be as you remember her, a happy seven-month-old, but she wouldn’t be able to offer you forgiveness. That’s something you need to find for yourself.”

A tear ran down her cheek as she accepted the girl’s words. She wasn’t ready for that. Not on her own. She wasn’t certain she’d be able to leave if she had Alyssa in her arms again, but she had another baby who needed her to live now. She could wait, she _would_ wait. She’d be back here one day, or wherever it was souls went after life. She could wait.

“Hamish is waiting,” Cassie said softly, echoing her thoughts and reminding her of what was still out there for her in the real world.

Vera nodded, wiping away at the silent wet streaks. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want me to tell him?”

Cassie shook her head. “I already told him everything I wanted him to hear.”

Vera froze instantly as a million questions came to mind. When? Years ago? Or more recently? Why hadn’t he ever told her about the collective unconscious and seeing Cassie again? Did he even remember? Would she remember? Surely, if Alpha had brought her here.

Cassie’s startled expression gave her part of her answer. Hamish hadn’t told her.

“When?” Vera asked.

“I didn’t realize he hadn’t told you,” Cassie said instead. “I should have checked first.”

“When?” Vera repeated.

In answer, the forest around them disappeared.

They were standing in the basement of the Den and Vera instantly knew that it was recent. Or recent enough. She recognized the artifacts throughout the room, having organized many of them herself. Before she could question the girl again, the basement door opened, slamming against the wall and Hamish stalked in. He had on the robe that hung by the front door, signaling a recent transformation. Smears of blood marred his pale skin, though no signs of wounds remained. It was his eyes that got her though. She could see his despair, more than she ever had before, and it broke her heart.

“This was the night you almost lost the baby,” Cassie told her quietly.

Vera didn’t respond, not taking her eyes off Hamish. He walked over to one of the bookshelves and pulled a book, seemingly at random. He never opened it but stared blankly down at the cover. Vera watched his jaw clench, his face hardening with anger, before he threw the book across the room with a frustrated growl. It hit one of the displays and Vera couldn’t help but cringe as dozens of priceless artifacts were knocked aside.

She was so focused on Hamish, on his grief at _her_ hand, that she didn’t notice anyone coming until Randall’s head appeared in the doorway, his body still hidden behind the wall.

“Hamish? Are you going to attack me if I come in?” When Hamish only grumbled, he took a couple steps. “What happened back there?”

“Hamish tried something different to get your magic back,” Cassie told her as the two boys continued talking. Vera listened with half an ear, the rest of her following the scene in front of her. “The Knights eat the hearts of those they kill to interrupt the flow of magic. Alyssa Drake’s body has been preserved by magic all these months-”

Vera turned on her suddenly. “He did _what?”_

“He tried,” Cassie said. “Jack managed to hold him off until Randall heard the sounds and stopped him.”

She let out a relieved breath, although once she’d had a second to think it over, she realized it must have ended that way. There’d never been any sign of a rift between Hamish and Jack, like she knew there would have been had Hamish accomplished his goal.

“…she’s dying, Randall.”

Hamish’s broken words pulled Vera back to the scene unfolding in front of her. She never would have expected the look of genuine horror that crossed over Randall’s face. One might get the idea that he cared about her. And when his panicked words followed, Vera sort of felt herself soften towards the wolf who’d been her biggest annoyance.

“Fuck,” Randall breathed, stunned. “How long does she have?”

Hamish shrugged. “I don’t know. She doesn’t know. Not long, I think. I don’t think she ever expected more than a few months with our baby, and that was before she started getting worse. I-, I don’t know if she’s even going to make it to December at this rate.” Hamish looked up, his face haunted. “I can’t lose her, Randall. Not like this. And the baby, if she doesn’t-, if there’s not time-”

Randall let out a heavy breath. “I’m getting the others. Maybe someone will have an idea.”

Vera didn’t watch Randall go. Her eyes were glued to Hamish. This was the night he had planned to tell her he loved her, and instead he’d come to the realization that their time together was coming to an end. In her panic over the baby, it had never occurred to her how difficult that day must have been for him. He’d just spent the day remembering the last girl he hadn’t told, only to have his worst nightmare repeat itself on the anniversary of the first.

Watching him sink to the ground, too devastated to hold himself upright in a chair, Vera wished she’d had the nerve to tell him sooner. She had fallen for him ages ago, well before she ever would have admitted it to herself, but she suspected she had been the first to fall. It was the only explanation she had for not letting him go before things had gotten so complicated. She’d been selfish, _needy,_ which was so unlike her, and she’d kept him close because she hadn’t been ready to watch him walk away. She had made excuses, defending her inaction by hiding behind professional requirement. She _relied_ on Hamish as her right-hand-man so she couldn’t send him away. As the leader of the Knights, he _had_ to work closely with the Grand Magus. And if they happened to act on a mutual attraction whenever they were alone…it was simply convenient. And then before she knew it, it wasn’t just some casual fling anymore. Hamish _cared_ and she was magicless, and it was too late to protect either of their hearts.

It was her own guilt that kept her mouth shut. _She_ had pulled him into this, knowing she was living on borrowed time as it was. She was responsible for the inevitable heartbreak he would have to suffer. It felt like false hope to tell him she loved him, knowing there would be no future for them, that the most she could give him was this child to remember her by, this child she’d be leaving him to raise alone. She couldn’t ask him to live with the knowledge that she would have given _anything_ to go back and change her decision when she performed the Fors Factorum. Letting him know that he had her heart, that even before this baby she had wanted to live for _him,_ just seemed cruel somehow.

But keeping her feelings from him hadn’t helped anything. Hamish had fallen anyways and whether he knew she reciprocated or not hadn’t mattered. That was part of what she loved about him in the first place. It didn’t matter how hard she pushed against him, he was always there for her.

Vera closed her eyes when he reached for the knife. “He thought Tundra would save me, didn’t he?” Vera whispered.

“He wasn’t wrong, either,” Cassie said quietly. “He recognized Tundra’s interest in you, and especially your baby. He saw it as a final option when nothing else worked.”

“And that’s why he didn’t tell me,” Vera knew. Hamish hadn’t totally dismissed the idea of sacrificing himself for her. “Turn it off, please,” she requested. She didn’t need to watch what came next. Already she could hear footsteps coming down the steps behind them.

“He’s lucky he’s built a pack that can react quickly,” Cassie told her. “Jack threw himself at him the moment he walked into the room. He knocked the blade off course enough for Randall to make a healing spell work.”

“I told him those lessons would come in handy,” Vera muttered to herself. Tentatively, she opened one eye. They were back in the forest again. She wiped at the tears that were starting to streak down her face but new ones took their place just as quickly. She looked up and met Cassie’s gaze. “I’m ready to go home.” She _needed_ to go home. She needed to see Hamish. The idea that she’d come so close to losing him and never even known it…

Cassie nodded. “Remember, you aren’t alone. We’re all behind you.”

When Vera came to, she was crying, her vision blurred by the onslaught of tears. She’d barely had an instant to grasp that she was no longer within the four white walls of her hospital room before Hamish was leaning over her, his touch gentle and his blue eyes worried.

“Vera-”

She didn’t let him say more. She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face against him to muffle the sound of her unsteady breaths. There was a chuckle to the side, loud, louder than it should have been, and then the sound of shuffling feet, but she didn’t turn to see. The door closed a few moments later, leaving her and Hamish alone.

Hamish’s hand began rubbing soothing circles across her shoulders. “It’s okay,” he breathed against her hair. “It’s over. You’re okay.”

His words only served to remind her that _he_ almost hadn’t been. She pulled away, curling her hand into a fist before punching his shoulder. She hadn’t expected him to flinch away. “You-, _you…fucking idiot,”_ she gasped.

Hamish clearly got her meaning instantly, because a guilt-ridden expression crossed his face. “You know?” he asked softly.

“That you tried to _kill_ yourself? That you were _still_ planning to if this didn’t work? Yeah.” She leaned into him again, nuzzling her face against his neck as his arms further encircled her. “Never again. Promise.”

“Vera…” he said hesitantly.

_“Promise me,”_ she said again.

Hamish didn’t answer her right away but she felt him press his lips against the top of her head again and then linger there. “How do you feel?” he said finally.

Vera pulled back and looked at him questioningly.

“The Fors Factorum?”

For the first time since she’d come to, she turned her attention inwards, remembering why this had all come to pass in the first place. She quickly pressed her face back against him, hiding the smile she couldn’t force down. “It’s gone,” she said in awe. For the first time in a decade, she didn’t feel the weight of the spell tugging at her, sapping her strength. For the first time in a decade, she didn’t feel like she was racing a clock, unable to stop to breathe in case her time ran out before she could finish her most recent project. And it was because of Hamish (and the other Knights).

Vera pulled back, her smile slowly falling as she looked up into his blue eyes. Hamish smiled uncertainly back at her. “What?”

Vera leaned forward and kissed him, pouring all her thoughts and feelings into it. When she pulled back, resting her forehead against his, she quietly told him, “I love you, Hamish.”

She felt him give a small, quiet laugh. “I love you, too,” he whispered.

And when he kissed her again, his hand moved up her back to support her as he gently leaned her back onto the bed. Even as things grew more heated, they kept the pace slow and gentle, letting their bodies express what words alone couldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” Vera asked as she lay in Hamish’s arms afterwards. He was trailing his fingertips lightly across her little mound of a belly, his gentle touch sending pleasant shivers down her spine, but a thoughtful frown marred his expression.

Hamish looked up, his hand flattening against the curve of her stomach in a protective manner. For a long moment, he held her gaze, uncertainty in his eyes, before a crooked smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “I’m wondering whether you’d marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Vera getting turned into a werewolf the first time she came to the Den has always intrigued me. There were no free hides that day and even after that, the only one we saw her get close to was Silverback, who seemed rather determined to get Jack/his chosen Champion back. Maybe one day I'll write it out as it's own story. I can only imagine the insanity of Vera attempting to hide it from the rest of the Order.


	49. Will You Marry Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry for the wait again. Was harder to force myself to write this one out than expected. Kept wanting to jump ahead to other parts. :p

Hamish didn’t have a ring, or a plan. The proposal wasn’t the least bit thought out, but he’d known for some time, he wanted Vera in his future. And as he’d held her close, his fingers trailing across the swell of her belly that contained their child, he couldn’t shake the thought that this baby would share his name but she wouldn’t.

Hamish had never thought he’d be the type to propose just because there was a child. It had never even crossed his mind when Vera had gotten pregnant, not that he suspected Vera would have reacted well to his obligatory proposal. But the more he thought about it, the more wrong it felt.

It was true, if she weren’t pregnant, it probably wouldn’t be something he’d be thinking about. Not yet, at least. They probably would have spent a few more years tiptoeing around, not wanting to leave the comfort zone of their quiet, private relationship. But Vera was pregnant. And they weren’t hiding their relationship anymore. He couldn’t think of a reason _not_ to marry her.

One look at Vera’s face though, and he wasn’t certain she agreed with him. For several long heartbeats, she only stared at him, dumbfounded, before she started to sit up, pulling away from him.

“Hamish…” she said warningly.

Hamish looked down to hide the blush rising in his cheeks. “Forget it. Dumb idea.” He should have known better than to ask. Vera had always been the unsure one in their relationship. He knew marriage would be pushing her too far.

But Vera didn’t move any further away and, when he chanced a glance up, it wasn’t pure panic he saw in her eyes. And when she curled back against him, burying her face in his shoulder, a grin threatened to split his face before she even answered. “Do we need a wedding?” she mumbled, tightening her grip around his torso.

“Courthouse is fine,” he agreed. The publicity wasn’t what he wanted anyways. He just wanted her.

“When?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” He’d _like_ to be married before the baby came, and if Vera wasn’t dreaming of the perfect big, white wedding, he didn’t see a reason to hold off, but he would let her decide. Just being able to call her his fiancé rather than the awkward girlfriend/partner/lover/baby mama dance they’d been doing was enough for now.

Vera gave a little huff. “I’m keeping my name at work,” she said, slightly louder than her previous mumblings.

Hamish chuckled lightly.

Vera looked up, putting on a mock offended expression. “I’ve worked hard for that recognition,” she told him, brow arched in a dare to contradict her.

Hamish leaned up and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Of course.”

Her expression softened then, until a slight smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “So we’re doing this then?”

Hamish grinned up at her as he pulled her back in for another kiss. “I love you,” he mumbled between kisses.

Vera’s response was to shift until she was straddling him. She let out a tiny, pleased moan as she settled against him, her hands finding his to lace their fingers together.

“Oh, come on! Not again!”

Randall’s sudden outburst from the other part of the house had Vera throwing herself backwards off of him. _“Who’s out there?”_ she hissed, her cheeks burning.

Hamish cringed. He could hear Randall being scolded by the girls, and he imagined Vera could as well, now that she was tuned in to the extra presences in her home. “Just the pack. And Matti.” And his mom, although she was still under a sleep spell until he decided what he wanted tell her.

Vera looked furious. Or rather, humiliated. _“Just,”_ she repeated. She was already out of the bed, searching the room angrily for their discarded clothing. _“Just_ a bunch of immature teenagers with supernatural hearing, _listening to us having sex.”_ Spotting her hospital gown laying on the floor, Vera didn’t blink but stalked over to her closet instead.

Hamish didn’t argue the fact that _technically,_ none of the wolves were even teenagers, or that he was _pretty sure_ he’d heard the door to the patio open before things had started getting too heated. It wouldn’t help anything.

A pair of his pants flew out of the closet, followed by one of his carefully pressed and hung dress shirts. Hamish cringed slightly as they landed in a crumpled heap several feet in front of him but, still, didn’t say a word.

“Get dressed,” Vera snapped.

Hamish wordlessly obeyed. When Vera came out a minute later, wearing only her undergarments and carrying a dress draped over one arm, she shooed her hand at him before continuing on to the attached bathroom, so Hamish ventured out to the living room once he was finished dressing.

A smile was already creeping back over his face by the time he made it down the hallway. Vera was going to be his wife. She was carrying his son or daughter. It was more than he’d allowed himself to hope for in years.

“Ugh. No one wants to see that dopey, post-sex grin,” Randall groaned. “We all heard it. Please, let us go back to pretending we didn’t know.”

Hamish didn’t let the teasing bring down his mood, his grin only growing. “I asked Vera to marry me,” he told them, leading to a round of shocked but, he thought, pleased exclamations.

“Congrats, man,” Jack finally said for them all, slapping him on the back.

Randall punched him in the arm. “I’m your best man, right?”

Hamish chuckled.

“I agreed to marry him, not do it publicly,” Vera answered before he had a chance. She strode into the room, looking more composed than he imagined she was feeling. “We’ll pick a day and go down to the courthouse. Maybe we can all go out for dinner afterwards or something,” she suggested, giving Hamish a small smile.

“Can we still help you pick out a dress?” Gabrielle asked.

Vera hesitated, but then relented with a small nod. “Sure.”

“Ooh, and we should totally go to a spa before, too,” Gabby added excitedly.

“If you can find one with prenatal options,” she accepted.

Gabrielle grinned. “Leave the details to me and Lilith.” Lilith jerked around to stare at her, wide-eyed. “Think of us as your unofficial maids of honor.”

The corner of Vera’s mouth twitched upwards. “Thank you.” She glanced around the room until her gaze settled on the couch, where Hamish’s mother was laying, still asleep, and she froze, startled. “Hamish!”

He cringed apologetically. “I wasn’t ready to deal with her until I knew you were going to be okay.”

Vera’s lips pressed tightly together and she gestured towards his mother impatiently.

Before he could utter a protest though, Matthew stepped in. “Vee,” he called gently. “I think that conversation is something that needs privacy, and we’ve all been waiting for you to wake up. Hamish’s mother can wait a few more minutes.”

Vera huffed but seemed to see the sense in Matti’s words. “At least put her in the bedroom. I didn’t buy that couch with the intention of making someone sleep there.”

“I can move her,” Jack offered. He stepped forward before he got a response and scooped her into his arms.

“Thanks,” Hamish said.

“Thank you,” Vera murmured at the same moment.

“Soooo,” Randall said with a tight smile. “All good now?”

Vera gave a small nod. “I believe so. I don’t feel the Fors Factorum pulling at me any more.”

Behind him, Matthew let out heavy breath, his relief evident.

“Why would you even do it?” Lilith asked. Hamish _knew_ she didn’t mean to sound so judgmental, but the question earned her several glares all the same. “What? We’re all thinking it.”

“Lil,” Hamish called quietly.

She ignored him. “It doesn’t seem like a well-balanced trade. Skip the sacrifices in the moment, but you’ll die in a few years instead? That’s a fool’s trade, and we may not always agree with her but I think we can all agree Vera Stone is no idiot. So why?”

“She did it for you,” Matthew spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention away to Vera and onto himself. “She did it for all of Belgrave’s students.”

Vera sighed as she went to sit down on the couch. Hamish immediately moved to join her. “I did it, because I was young and lacked patience,” Vera said.

“You were trying to help people,” Matthew argued for her. Hamish watched the exchange with amusement.

Vera snorted. “You were the one who tried to talk me out of it.”

“Only because I worried you’d regret it one day.”

“And you were right,” Vera murmured. She took a moment to breathe steadily, pushing down any trace of emotion that might leak through in her voice. “I was year-mates with the Marand twins, though we never really interacted of our own accord. I was young and naïve, a small-town scholarship kid with some recent traumas in my past. I never would have imagined something like the Order existing and I came into it rather idealistic. The idea of being able to actually make a difference after…everything…it was something I could let myself get lost in.

"Renee and Rachel were…the typical Order candidate. They weren’t legacies but they came from money, like most of Belgrave’s students. From the beginning, it was clear they weren’t interested in befriending the scholarship kid. They _hated_ that I was progressing faster than them, but they didn’t want to put in the extra effort either. It was during our grad school years that they started experimenting with necromancy. We were all magistrati then, and there weren’t any rules against it at the time. No one expected them to go as far as they did.”

Vera looked to Hamish. “You may actually remember it. I believe you’d already joined the Knights by then, but students began disappearing. They’d be found days later, disemboweled or drained of blood.”

Hamish went still. He _did_ remember. The deaths on campus had been the Knights’ main focus his first year as Tundra’s Champion…the year Cassie had been killed going after what they’d thought was a rogue group of practitioners.

Vera didn’t notice his tension, her gaze distant as she was lost in her own memories. “No one wanted to believe it was someone from our own chapter. I tried to approach the Temple Magus – I knew the twins had been playing around with necromancy – but the rivalry between us was well known and he dismissed my concerns.” She let out a breath. “To make a long story short, nobody was safe in the end. When they started sacrificing disciples for their rituals, the Order couldn’t look away. It ended with the Marand sisters in a sort of self-imposed exile. The Order accepted it, just so they could wipe their hands of the twins and focus on cleaning up the mess they’d left.”

Vera let out another small huff. “It was a disaster, and not just within the chapter. Students were dropping out. Applications for admissions were slowing down. The Order has always done what it can to hide magical accidents or deaths, but we had _so many_ ‘drunk driving accidents’ that year, Belgrave was struggling to fend off the reporters attempting to uncover some sort of epidemic on campus. Belgrave’s Order chapter wasn’t doing any better. It turned out Renee and Rachel had been ‘tutoring’ without the Magus’s knowledge, so outside members were brought in to try to sort through all the practitioners in the chapter. In the end, six or seven disciples were kicked out.”

She glanced down at her folded hands and gave a wry smirk. “However, they did decide that I’d proven myself proficient enough to be promoted to Adepti. That was when I was given access to the Fors Factorum.” Her lips pressed together again as she thought. “I had already decided I wanted to work my way up to Temple Magus, but what happened with the Marands made me impatient. I don’t know if it was because I _told_ the Magus to look into the Marands, or if they were just the final straw in the incompetence I saw around me, but it made the Fors Factorum tempting. I’d been working in the administration building in some capacity for years already, and I’d recently completed my doctorate, but I knew it would still take years to work my way up to Magus level naturally. But the Fors Factorum does give a practitioner an edge. You can work spells faster, of course, but it also lets you _train_ faster. Without the need to collect ingredients or take the time to set them up properly, learning new incantations is as simple as reading them out of a book.”

“But you die,” Lilith said flatly.

Vera shrugged. “That didn’t matter to me back then.” She glanced away and let out a huffing breath. “I’m aware of how you all work, so I’m assuming you all know that I had a daughter young who died in infancy.”

From the looks on their faces, it was clear she was right. Somehow, they knew. Hamish met Randall’s gaze and the younger man flashed his eyes towards Jack.

“My aunt, who took me and my daughter in, was killed in a car accident a few years later. I don’t want your pity and the first person to try to offer apologies can skip dinner the next time we invite you over,” she said quickly, before anyone could speak up. “But I had totally rejected the idea of any sort of family in my future. Death…was simply an inevitability back then, and I didn’t particularly care when it came.

"I told Matti what I was considering doing. He had Magus level connections and I needed to know, once I reached that level of proficiency, how long would it take before I was likely to get the job I wanted. The answer was in line with what I’d observed myself during my years at Belgrave. The Temple Magi have a fairly high turn over rate. It’s a stepping stone for most, before they move on to upper level Adepti positions or fill a spot on the Council.”

“But it wasn’t for you,” Jack said quietly. She never would have performed a spell she knew would kill her if her ambitions had been driving her to reach even further. She wouldn’t have assumed she’d have the time.

Vera shook her head. “No,” she admitted. “But then the opportunity came up and the idea of being able to leave behind something lasting was too tempting to pass up.” She huffed and met Lilith’s gaze. “So does that answer your question?”

Lilith folded her arms and nodded, but Hamish could see her still mulling over the new information, as if unsure how she wanted to view Vera now that she knew.

Vera nodded back once, before settling herself more comfortably against the cushions, her hand going to her swollen belly. “In any case, it’s over now. I can’t feel any trace of the cancer. My body will recover with time.” Probably faster than she even realized, with Alpha’s help. She let out a shaky breath as she glanced down at her stomach. “Hopefully that will be enough to head off any more complications with this pregnancy but I suppose we’ll have to wait until my next appointment to see how things have progressed there.”

Hamish reached out to rub her shoulders gently. “The baby will be fine.” He had to believe it. The baby was still a part of Vera, they were connected, and if Alpha could heal her, he had to believe that the baby would be included. He glanced down at her little belly. So maybe their baby would be small, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be healthy otherwise. Vera looked up and gave him a small smile before slipping her hand into his free one.

“So we’re all thrilled that you’re not dying and all, but can we just jump to what I know we’re all thinking? When do we get to see Alpha?” Randall asked.

Vera shifted under their expectant gazes. “You’ll have to wait, I’m afraid.” She looked down at her lap, before glancing at Hamish. “Alpha pulled me into the collective unconscious. She wants to wait to attempt any transformations. It wouldn’t harm the baby, but she seems to think it’ll be easier if I’m not thinking about the baby while we attempt it.”

“I’d feel better about that too,” Hamish told her, speaking up over the disappointed looks of the rest of the pack. Even with the wolves’ healing ability, the idea of putting his child in the middle of any situation where Alpha held more control terrified him. He didn’t know if they could trust Alpha to keep their baby safe.

“We’ve waited this long,” Gabrielle told Randall.

Randall groaned dramatically. “You don’t get it, Gabby,” he told the newest Knight.

“You should have heard them when I had two hides in me,” Jack said to Gabrielle. “No one’s seen Alpha in more than fifty years. Having a new Knight is exciting.”

Randall gestured at Jack, as if to say _exactly._

Hamish wasn’t certain who’s side Jack was arguing, but he understood their excitement. Bringing Vera into the pack without it replacing anyone else in their little family _was_ exciting. Having a _sixth_ member of their team was a dream he’d never imagined possible before, but for him, the anticipation of the newest Knight was overwhelmed by the fierce protectiveness he felt for Vera and the child she carried.

“I get it,” he told them. “But I would rather not have my very pregnant fiancé running around the forest as a wolf.”

Vera arched a brow at him. _“Very_ pregnant? I’m not even in the third trimester yet.” She pointed at her belly. _“This_ isn’t very pregnant.”

Hamish grinned at her as he rubbed her belly fondly. “And I can’t wait.” It had been fascinating to watch the slow, subtle changes during these first months of her pregnancy, but he was looking forward to seeing their baby continue to grow. Despite the weeks of tiny movements that Vera had been sensing, he couldn’t seem to catch any of the stronger taps and the smaller flutters were too soft for him to feel.

“Ugh, save the lovey dovey stuff for after we leave,” Randall teased.

Hamish leaned back, but draped an arm across the back of the couch so he could touch Vera’s shoulder.

Vera looked up at Hamish. “Speaking of that, I think it’s time we woke up your mother.”

Hamish sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to say,” he admitted. He’d spent so many years trying to keep the two parts of his life totally separate, he didn’t know if he could merge them now.

“We should get out of your way,” Matthew spoke up suddenly. “This is a family matter.” He looked around at the others in the room. “I need to grab the kids running the tests this year to go over some details. Want in?”

“You buying dinner?” Randall asked. Matthew nodded his agreement. “I’m in.”

“Why not?” Lilith sighed as she stood, and the others quickly followed suit.

“Call us if you need anything,” Jack offered as they began filing out.

“Just in case,” Matti murmured, dropping a small bag into Hamish’s hand as he passed by.

“Matthew!” Vera scolded.

He shrugged unapologetically. “Just in case.”

Hamish lifted the bag of pulveris memoria with a small shrug. “Thanks.”

“We’re not powdering his mom,” Vera told Matthew. Once they were all out the door, she turned to Hamish. “We’re not.”

Hamish chuckled. “You’re pretty adamant about telling my parents, considering you’ve never told yours.”

“That’s not even close to the same thing and you know it.”

“I know,” he admitted. He sighed heavily. “So let’s get this over with?”

Vera leaned in for a quick kiss. “It’ll be fine. You haven’t been giving them enough credit.” She brought her hand up to his cheek and smiled softly. “I was _dying,_ Hamish. You may not have said it, but your mom knew that. She knew there was a potential for things to go very wrong, very quickly, and when your dad had to leave, she chose to stay so that she could be here if you needed her. She’s tough enough to accept the truth.”

Hamish stared at her. “I didn’t know she’d asked you.”

She shook her head minutely. “She didn’t. But I could see it when she looked at me. She knew there was more than we were telling her.”

His mom’s words from the hospital came back to him and he knew she was right. “My dad won’t be back for a couple more weeks,” he said. But now that he thought about it, it was far sooner than he’d ever returned in the past.

“And you’ll tell him when he is. But for now, your mom is here. She knows I was dying. She knows we were in the hospital only moments ago, by her memory. So you either explain it to her, or you use that powder Matti gave you and put another wedge in your relationship.” She waited a moment and, seeing the decision on his face, murmured, “I’ll help how I can.”

He let Vera lead the way to the bedroom and watched her crinkle her nose as she took in the sight of his mother lying on their bed. The bed was made, likely Vera’s doing, but the memory of what they’d been doing in that bed only a short time ago made him cringe as well.

“Maybe we should take her back to the living room first?” Hamish suggested.

Vera stepped back gladly, giving him the space to lift his mother into his arms and carry her past. As soon as he had her resettled on the couch, he looked at Vera, took a deep breath, and then spoke the incantation for waking.

She darted upright instantly, eyes wide, and nearly knocked heads with him. “Hamish!” she gasped before looking around. “What happened? Where’s Vera?”

“I’m right here, Elaine,” Vera called softly from behind him. She stepped more into the woman’s view.

Visible relief washed over Elaine Duke as her eyes roved over Vera’s body from head to toe.

“I’m okay,” Vera quietly told her.

“How? You were…” she trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief.

“We’ll explain.” Vera’s eyes flashed to Hamish. “Everything.”

“Everything?” his mom asked, sounding confused. “What do you mean?”

Hamish looked at Vera and she nodded encouragingly before perching herself on the edge of a nearby chair. “I’ve been avoiding this for so long, I don’t even know where to start,” Hamish admitted, taking a seat himself.

“Keep it simple,” Vera said quietly. “You don’t have to tell every detail today.”

“I guess it all starts with Cassie…” Hamish began slowly.

Hamish had known his mom would cry, and he was relieved when Vera got up and moved to the couch without prompting. It allowed him to keep his own emotions in check and keep talking. Even keeping the story simple, even glossing over the years he’d spent as the only Knight or the young, stupid kids he’d sacrificed to Midnight’s recklessness, Cassie and Vera were enough to choke him up.

“What happens now?” his mother asked quietly when he’d finished.

“We keep moving forward,” Vera answered. “It’s all any of us have ever been able to do.”

“You’re pregnant.”

Vera snorted. “I’m aware,” she murmured, glancing down at her rounding belly with an amused quirk to her lips. “I can’t tell you what the future will bring, but truthfully, I’m not overly concerned. The Knights are leaps and bounds ahead of where they were a year ago. The Order’s not thrilled but they _are_ honoring the terms of the truce and the new Temple Magus is working with me to try to bridge some of the gaps between our members. I don’t view this as any different than any of the many Order members who have families.”

“Things are different, Mom,” Hamish said, backing up Vera’s statement. “And even if something were to happen, I trust Vera to get us through it. You’ve only seen Vera in her role as my girlfriend and an expectant mother. And while I love getting to see that side of her, the woman I fell in love with is the one who would walk into the midst of possible enemies to demand an alliance, and then immediately take charge and begin bossing everyone around,” Hamish said, grinning at Vera. “She doesn’t back down, and she doesn’t take no for an answer when she’s got her mind set on something. She’s the woman who always seems to be planning two or three steps ahead of everyone else, and the woman who’s saved our lives more than once already-”

Vera reached out and set a hand on his arm. “Maybe we should say that’s enough for one sitting. Give your mom some time to let it sink in.”

He nodded, before looking at his mother again. “I trust her to keep us safe. All the Knights do. We’ll be okay,” he assured her.

Vera offered her a warm smile. “I’d offer to let you stay the night but I’m afraid the couch isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world to sleep on.”

“No, no, I’ll be fine-”

“The apartment in town has an extra bedroom,” Hamish suggested, following Vera’s train of thought. Even after learning that he could change into a dangerous, magical beast, that he’d _killed_ people, she couldn’t hide a mother’s worry. She knew now how dangerous his life had been, still could be at times. She didn’t need to be alone on the first night after learning that monsters did exist.

“Perfect,” Vera agreed.

“She’s asleep,” Hamish murmured later that night as he slipped into the spare bedroom downtown.

Vera looked up from her book and quirked a brow at him. “You’re going to be that dad that can’t stop peeking at the monitor, aren’t you?” she teased.

Hamish didn’t fight down his grin as he slipped into bed beside her. “Like you won’t be doing the same.”

Vera leaned against him, angling herself so she could still catch the light of the bedside lamp. “No,” she said assuredly. But then she looked up, biting back her own smile. “But you seem to be working off the false impression that our baby will be sleeping in their own room.”

Hamish barked a laugh. “So all the effort going into the nursery is…”

“For guests,” Vera finished. She leaned up and kissed him quickly before snuggling into his side and returning her attention to her book. Hamish smiled as he watched her a moment longer.

Not even twenty-four hours after bonding with Alpha, he could already see the difference in her. She appeared to have more energy than she’d had in months, and he doubted he’d see another early night any time soon. But it was more than that. He’d known the stresses of the past year, combined with her declining health, had weighed heavily on her, but he hadn’t realized how much until the effects had been lifted. Years had been erased. She looked younger, more like the woman who’d first walked into the Den over a year ago, the woman he hadn’t even noticed was being lost under the strain. But it was a relief as well, physical proof that the damages done were being fixed. Vera was becoming herself again. All they needed now was to find a way to recover her magic.


	50. Fall Term

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internet's being a pain. Gotta use my phone hotspot but hey, got it up! lol. Enjoy.

Vera was beginning to second guess her decision to wear heels as she crossed the campus for the third time that day. A few days of rest and recovery had left her feeling better than she had in years and so when she’d been dressing for her first day back at work, she hadn’t given a second thought to wearing the low heels. Unfortunately, her month of doctor (and Hamish) prescribed downtime had left her unprepared for the strain of carrying around what she’d thought was a rather small baby bump, and it seemed having the added strength and rapid healing of a werewolf wasn’t going to be enough to prevent the aches and pains that came with pregnancy. Hamish was definitely going to be owing her a lot of back rubs in the evenings.

“Vera!”

Vera sighed and slowed her pace, giving him to time to catch up. “Mr. Morton,” she acknowledged in a halfhearted attempt to remind him that when on campus, she expected to be treated with less familiarity. She knew it wouldn’t work though. With the wolves, it never had.

“How’s your first day back going?”

Vera eyed him wearily. “We are one week away from the first day of classes, students begin arriving in a matter of days, and I’ve been away for a month. I am extremely busy.” Add in the fact that Matti was second guessing every decision he’d ever made, as well as his ability to manage the new acolytes that were about to head his way, and her patience level was running low. “What did you need?”

Jack rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. “It can wait,” he said.

Vera stopped and turned to face him. “You tracked me down in the middle of the day, when you had no reason to be on campus. Just ask what you came to ask.”

“I wanted to ask for your help,” he said hesitantly. “I…found an incantation. I know it’s been months, but Alyssa-”

“Oh, Jack,” Vera cut him off. She could already guess where this was headed. It was a direction she’d thought he would have moved past after seven months. “Those kinds of spells can go _really_ badly.”

“And that’s why I’m asking for help.”

Vera tilted her head back as she grit her teeth. As much as she wanted to simply refuse, they’d been down that road once before. She hadn’t helped them with their plan to rescue Lilith, and it had led to Kepler’s death and all the events that followed. She wasn’t delusional enough believe that her lack of help would go any differently in this.

“Why now?” she asked. He had waited this long, after all.

Jack let out a breath. “It never seemed like the right time.” Vera arched a brow, encouraging him to expand. “You know,” he said, shrugging. “You’ve always had something bigger to focus on. Keeping us alive when the Order found out about Kepler, your pregnancy, your health. Every time I thought about asking, I ended up feeling like it would be selfish to bother you with it.”

Vera pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. “You have waited this long. Just let me get through the first week or two of the new semester, and then I promise I will _look_ at that damned book.” She gave him an unamused look when he looked like he was about to start backpedaling. “Yes, I know you have it.” It wasn’t a secret that Alyssa had been the book’s last known user and the lengthy preservation of her body only confirmed it. The Knights were all advanced despite their limited experience, but Jack Morton wasn’t _that_ skilled. It was something that maybe she should have addressed but, given her own failure at protecting the book, leaving it in the hands of a werewolf who didn’t seem inclined to flash it around didn’t seem like the worst situation for it for the moment.

“Thank you,” he said, sounding relieved.

“I’m not promising anything,” Vera told him seriously. “I’m just agreeing to look and help you sort through the requirements of the spell. It will be up to you to decide if they’re something you can live with.”

“I can,” he said passionately. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Whatever the cost is, I’ll pay it.”

“Except you won’t,” Vera said softly. _“Kepler_ paid to bring Lilith back, and you weren’t bringing her back from the dead.”

She was relieved when Jack’s surety waned and she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. His morality had always been a positive in her mind and she didn’t want to see this life take that from him. “Do you think with the Fors Factorum-”

And now she knew what he was asking. She started to shake her head. “No, I’m sorry. There are incantations that even the Fors Factorum can’t fulfil the requirements. I can’t be certain, but I suspect this will be one of them.” And there was no way she was going to risk her child by trying it. Jack nodded glumly and she sighed. “Once we’ve seen what it requires, we’ll talk it out. We may not have the Order’s resources but we’re not completely without options.” She glanced at her watch before giving him a tiny smile. “I have a meeting to get to. We’ll talk later?” she said, not really phrasing it as a question.

Jack nodded. “Yeah.”

There was a gentle knock at her office door before Hamish stuck his head inside.

“I figured you’d be working late so I brought dinner,” he said, holding up a to-go bag. He chuckled when her stomach immediately started growling, reacting to the mouthwatering scents that her overly sensitive nose was refusing to ignore.

Vera rolled her eyes as she gestured for him to bring the bag over. “The man responsible for this,” she said, pointing at her belly, “doesn’t get to laugh when my body’s demanding we feed us.”

“Never,” Hamish agreed, even as his grin grew. He sat down opposite her and began unpacking boxes. “So, how was your first day back?” he asked conversationally.

Vera sighed and pulled a container of fried rice towards her. “Exhausting,” she groaned. Mentally, at least, because truthfully, physically she just felt restless. “I hate taking so much time off. I feel like I’m going to be spending just as long playing catch up. It gives me such a headache I’m seriously considering refusing maternity leave. I’ll just bring the baby with me,” she exaggerated. Given Hamish’s alarmed expression, he didn’t get her joke. She rolled her eyes again. “I’m _kidding._ I’ve already given notice about needing the time off.”

Truthfully, she hadn’t fully expected she would get to go back to work after the birth. Now that she knew she would live, that she would have time with her son or daughter, she needed to put some real thought into how she wanted to handle maternity leave and returning to work afterwards. “Were you serious about taking the next semester off?” she asked. That was another thing she hadn’t let him talk about when he’d brought it up. She’d been too afraid that if he took the semester off, he’d never finish his degree after she was gone. She leaned forward and stabbed a piece of his sesame chicken, closing her eyes as she brought it to her mouth with a pleased hum.

Hamish chuckled and pushed the container over to her. Vera greedily dug in, but when he moved on to the sweet and sour pork, she couldn’t help but think that _that_ looked good too. “I was serious,” Hamish said. He tore the lid off the to-go box, dumped part of the pork into it, then passed the remainder over to her without a word. “I’m trying to get my Masters completed this fall-” She looked up, shocked, and he chuckled. “I’ve just been killing time, trying to find an excuse to stay on campus because of the Knights. If I put my mind to it, I should be able to do it. And even if I don’t, I don’t think it’ll hurt me to put my studies on pause for a bit. I’d rather be home with the two of you. We won’t be able to get back these first weeks as a family and I don’t want to miss any of it. And honestly, when you go back to work, the idea of anyone else spending more time with our baby than us bothers me. I can afford to take off, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

Vera looked down at her food to hide her smile. “I wasn’t trying to make you sell it to me.” She looked up once she’d restrained herself to a small, easy smile. “But I do agree, so thank you.” She let out a heavy breath and let a hand fall her to stomach. She already knew she was going to dread going back to work when it was time. She’d felt the same when she’d had to go back to school the following fall after Alyssa had been born.

“We’ll visit every day,” Hamish said, understanding her unspoken longing to be with their baby as well.

Vera glanced down. She’d always preferred to keep her private life private. It had been a protective mechanism from the time she was a pregnant teenager being teased by those who didn’t know her story but felt like they could judge her anyways, and then as a grieving mother whose peers treated her loss like an opportunity. It was just easier if people didn’t know about the things that could be used against her. But a few stolen moments, especially on her more stressful days, would be worth the discomfort of letting her private life slip into her public one. “I’ll hold you to it,” she agreed. She let out a heavy sigh and said, “I’ll need it on days like this.”

Hamish gave her a sympathetic smile. “Need to talk about it?”

“Where to start?” she groaned. “I-” She froze suddenly. “Come here.”

Hamish scowled instantly. “Are you-”

“Come here,” she hissed again. She grabbed his hand the moment he reached her side and pressed it against a spot on her lower belly and then held her breath. It only took a few moments before another tiny tap pressed against their overlapping hands and she knew that, this time, Hamish had felt it too. His eyes instantly glazed over and his face went slack as he stared down at her middle.

“That’s-” His voice was choked and hoarse and she wasn’t sure he’d be able to say more if he tried.

She nodded, even though he wasn’t looking up at her. “It’s kicking,” she whispered. It wasn’t the first time but it was the first time she’d felt something the movement so strongly and in quick succession.

Hamish dropped to his knees and she didn’t protest when he eased her top up to expose the bump. “Hey, little guy,” he murmured, setting his hand against her skin.

“Or girl,” Vera added quietly, and Hamish’s shoulders lifted in a silent laugh. Vera waited a few more moments but, when the baby didn’t move again, she spoke. “Why don’t we head home?”

Hamish looked up hopefully. “You don’t need to stay?”

“Paperwork can wait,” she told him. And she had told herself she was going to delegate more anyways.

Hamish let her shirt drop back into place. “Do you want to finish eating first?”

“Please,” Vera said with a nod. Hamish went back around to his chair but she could see him watching her, as if he could see through the solid desk to her belly. “How was your mom today?” she asked in an attempt to distract him.

Hamish’s head shot up and he forced a smile at being caught. “Good, I think. We talked a little more about Cassie today. I think that’s been hard for her, because she knew Cassie, so she’s having to sort through everything she thought she understood and rethink it.” He hesitated and then gave a small shrug. “I’m thinking about getting in touch with Cassie’s parents and seeing if they’ll come out one day. Cassie was always open with them about what she was and what she did.”

Vera cringed slightly. “Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly. “You don’t think talking to them would scare her?”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But they also know how things were back then. I think they could help her understand that our situation now isn’t the same.”

“If you think it would help, I won’t argue.”

“I’m sure they’d love to meet you too,” he added. When Vera scrunched up her nose, he laughed. “I’m serious. And they wouldn’t just be saying it to be nice. For years, they were the only ones I could talk to. They know better than anyone how difficult some of those years were. Trust me, they’ll be thrilled.”

They continued chatting until Vera wasn’t capable of eating another bite and then began packing up the containers.

“Where’d you park?” Vera asked as they headed out the front doors together.

He let out a startled laugh. “Right. I caught a ride here with Randall, actually.”

She turned and scowled at him. “And what was he doing here?”

“He had plans to meet up with Matthew and I think Selena. He said something about a trial run?”

Vera groaned. “I’m going to regret introducing those two, aren’t I?”

“They do seem to be getting along better than I’d have expected,” he agreed.

“As long as they don’t piss off the Council,” Vera muttered. She pulled her keys from her purse and tossed them to him. “You can drive. I just want out of these shoes.” She would gladly slip them off the moment she sat down. “Do you think your mom will go shoe shopping with me? I’m going to need something more comfortable. And without a heel.”

“Of course,” Hamish said with a chuckle. “Mom loves any excuse to shop. And I’ll rub your feet when we get home.”

“And back,” Vera requested.

“And back,” he agreed.

“Legs would be nice too,” she said with a small grin.

Hamish laughed softly. “Let’s just call it a full massage.”

Vera settled against her seat with a happy sigh and quickly began kicking off her shoes. “Shower first, then massage,” she decided aloud.

“Shower?” Hamish questioned with a cheeky smile.

Vera glanced over at him, then gave a small shrug. “Maybe,” she teased. From the way the car jolted forward, Hamish intended to turn maybe into definitely. Overall, not a bad way to spend the evening.

Meanwhile….

Randall leaned against a tree with his eyes closed. He could tell they were trying to be quiet but…they weren’t. And it would be even worse when he was in wolf form. The idea of anyone sneaking up on him was laughable.

The lid of the nearby trunk slowly crept open and still he waited.

Footsteps tiptoed away again and, finally, he opened his eyes and turned to the Temple Magus who was sitting beside him, eyes closed as well.

“You seriously didn’t hear that?” he asked.

Matti’s eyes snapped open and he looked around, shock on his face as his gaze landed on the open trunk. “You did?” he questioned.

“Like a drunk linebacker trampling around,” Randall confirmed, then raised a hand in greeting to the three Order disciples joining them.

Matti spun around to confirm their presence. “Damn.”

“There’s no way the neophytes are going to be able to sneak past the wolves,” disciple number three – _Megan? Michelle? Monica? Something with an M_ – said.

“I could have told you that,” Randall grumbled. In fact, he was fairly certain the whole pack had. More than once. But _nooooo,_ Selena _had_ to test it. “Let us patrol. If we’re not just sitting in one place, then they’ve got a chance at sneaking past, or at least we can pretend they did.”

“We’re not letting werewolves traipse around campus where anyone can see,” Selena hissed.

Randall rolled his eyes. “We’re not idiots. In case you can’t remember, it wasn’t that long ago that _you_ didn’t realize we existed either. We can avoid crossing paths with any civilians.”

“Try it. Let’s go again,” Matti said, before Selena had a chance to argue. Selena ground her teeth but didn’t speak up. He met the girl’s gaze. “We can’t expect a bunch of clueless, frightened freshman to truly slip past the Knights, but we still need to make this test passable. That means finding some consistency they can use, even if the Knights are just playing at it. Go again,” he said, dismissing the trio with a wave of his hand. “Mr. Carpio, if you would.”

“Any particular way you want me to play this?”

“You know your abilities better than me,” Matti said. “Use your own discretion. I’ll make suggestions once we’ve played out a round or two. Just don’t make it too easy.”

“Gladly,” Randall agreed. He jogged off into the trees, tugging off his t-shirt as he went. He needed to let Greybeard out for this one.


	51. Hell Week: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's finally time to get a peek at the potential candidates for the Order's next acolytes. More OC-heavy than I normally like to write but this first part of the arc just worked better in their POVs

Seven blue roses were distributed over the three days that students began moving into their dorms before the start of classes.

Roommates Logan Carroll and Alexander Morrison let out matching whoops before going out to celebrate, confident of their chances.

Tyler Evans chewed at his lower lip as he studied the bright blue flower from the privacy of the bathroom, away from the prying eyes of his roommate.

Jasmine Wright smirked to herself before slipping the rose into her desk drawer and hurrying off to meet with friends, anxious to see if anyone else had received one as well.

Eric Hughes casually picked up the flower and skimmed the note, unsurprised that he’d have his choice of fraternities to pledge. He made a note of the date and time in his phone’s calendar before tossing it.

Alexis Perry had nearly missed the rose at first, assuming it was a gift meant for her more flirtatious roommate and placed on her desk by mistake. At least until she’d gone out to lunch and come back to find it returned to its previous place.

Sarah Grant stared at the rose with something resembling dread, before throwing it in the trash. Her brother had received one of the blue roses as well. And now he was dead.

Jasmine had always preferred to be fashionably late, so she was rather proud of herself when she arrived only minutes after dusk. A small group had already gathered, several of them familiar.

“Yes! Jas too,” Logan cheered.

Personally, Jasmine was a little less thrilled to see him and Xander, but she couldn’t be surprised either. The boys were old money, with the connections to match. If she, with notably less influence, had been noticed by one of Belgrave’s rumored societies, of course they’d be here too.

Jas glanced around the gathered group…the very small group. Other than Logan and Xander, there was a tall, lean, muscular boy who looked like he might have been a swimmer in high school and a rather plain brunette that she vaguely recognized as coming from a rival school hers had often competed with. It must be an even more exclusive organization than she’d realized.

But as minutes passed, and Jasmine began checking the time on her phone, she couldn’t help but wonder if they were being pranked.

“How long are we supposed to wait?” she asked.

Xander snorted. “You were late. Maybe they gave up and ditched us all.”

“Like two minutes,” Jas scoffed. “What is ‘dusk’ anyways?”

“We were all here,” Logan backed his buddy.

“I-”

They were interrupted by the sound of someone jogging up the trail and a moment later, a drop-dead gorgeous guy, the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, appeared. “Sorry, sorry. Got held up.” He came to a halt as he reached them and looked around with a broad smile. “I’m Eric. Anyone know what we’re doing here?” He looked at Jas and the other girl with a slightly puzzled expression but smiled anyways.

Jasmine opened her mouth to say they were waiting to find out but Xander beat her to it. “Secret society, dude. No one knows what-”

“Silence!”

Jas turned to look as a booming voice broke through their arguing. Two robed figures stood on the outskirts of their circle, faces obscured by strange masks. The newbie in their group seemed smart enough to look startled, but Logan and Xander just grinned as if it were all one big joke. Jas quietly punched the closer boy in the arm, hoping they’d have the sense to remain quiet.

“Subservience,” the beaked masked man continued, his voice more commanding than barking now. “Observance. You are no longer students. You are Neophytes. Less than nothing-” The man cut off and slowly, both figures turned their heads towards the trail path. “You are late, Miss Grant.”

Jas turned to look as a petite blonde came into view. Her arms were folded across her chest and she wore an intense scowl on her face.

“But I’m here,” the Grant girl grumbled.

The blank, emotionless masks stared at the girl a moment longer before turning away. “Seven are summoned,” the first one began again, “three will be selected.” He held up a hand and a gold coin appeared in his fingers. “Find the coin.” The coin suddenly disappeared, reappearing in his other hand. “Take more than one, and we will know.” The coin disappeared again, this time appearing in the hand of the second robed figure.

“Find the coins by night three. You have seventy-two hours.”

And then they were gone before anyone had a chance to even think up a question.

“Soooo…what was that?” Eric asked.

“That was the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose,” the new girl said unhappily. “And you’re all idiots if you think you want to join.” She walked away without another word.

Jas waited until she’d disappeared down the trail before forcing a bright smile. “She just wants to psych us out. Weed out the competition. You heard them, only three of us will make it in.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Logan agreed.

“I don’t know about you, but I want a drink. You losers want in?” Xander asked, heading off without waiting for anyone to answer.

“I’m in,” Eric agreed, and the others soon nodded their agreements as well. “Those masked dudes were creepy.”

Eric sat in the back corner of a booth with the five others who’d been pegged by this Blue Rose thing. It had quickly become apparent that he was the only one who didn’t have some prior knowledge or connection – even if it was only the cousin of a friend of the family.

One of the guys had already pulled out a notebook and was scribbling down details of the bizarre meeting they’d just had. Eric couldn’t help but glance over every few minutes, curious if he’d gotten anywhere. Currently, the other boy’s thought process seemed to be revolving around one point.

**Three selected. Night Three. Seventy-two hours. Number is important?**

“Or maybe we have to go at night?” Eric suggested.

The guy looked up, seeming startled but not disturbed by Eric’s peeking. He glanced down at his notes again and let out a heavy sigh. “Could be, but that’s the only mention of a time they’ve given. They kept going back to the number three, though. It’s got to be a clue to finding those coins.”

The burlier of the two roommates groaned. “Come on, we’ve got three days to find the dumb coins. Let’s celebrate tonight. There’s time for the detective work later.”

Notebook guy ignored them. “Night could relate to astronomy. Is anyone taking that this year? Maybe it’s a classroom.”

The burly guy lifted his beer to his lips again and rolled his eyes.

The pretty raven-haired girl beside him elbowed him sharply. “We may have three days, but classes start tomorrow too. We _should_ be taking the time to work this out while we can.”

The other girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Are you sure we should be discussing this together? They said only three of us would get in. That doesn’t sound like a group project.”

Eric shrugged. “Only rules we were given were don’t take more than one coin. They never said anything about not working together to figure it out.”

“They’re probably assuming we won’t,” Notebook guy said. “Less than half of us will be pledged. It’s every man for themselves, so to speak.”

The raven-haired girl snorted. “So what? We all go together and then there’s a bloodbath at the end for who gets to claim the coins?”

The roommate pair looked at each other and it was clear they planned to back each other if it came to it to claim two of the coins.

“They never specified how many coins there will be,” Notebook guy said, half-distracted by his notes.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not gambling my chances away on-”

The dark haired girl cut off abruptly as a guy, maybe a few years older, approached the table. “Okay, I know at least two of you aren’t twenty-one,” the curly haired guy said, smirking. Roommates one and two both stiffened, slowly pushing their drinks away from themselves as if the older guy wouldn’t notice. Then his smirk grew into a grin and he waved a hand dismissively. “I’m just messing with you. I don’t give a shit.” He rapped the table a couple times before turning to leave. “Just make sure you can keep it together tonight. If I get called on you, then I really will have to write you up.” Then he headed off to another table where a group of girls were waiting for him.

The darker-haired girl arched a brow expectantly.

“That’s our R.A,” the leaner roommate sighed.

Alexis Perry walked into first class Monday morning and slipped into an empty seat at the front of the room. A good portion of her class seemed to be nursing hangovers, so the mood was quiet and somber. But that could have just been because it was a nine o’clock class on a Monday.

“Lila took this class last year,” her closest neighbor whispered in a hushed voice to her two friends sitting behind her. “She said the professor’s kind of a drag, but his T.A.’s totally hot…”

Alexis rolled her eyes and tuned out of the nearby conversation.

More people began filing into the room as the final minutes before class passed, until eventually the door closed and an older man walked to the front of the room.

“Good morning class,” he said, not raising his voice at all but still managing to make the bits of muted murmurings die out, “and welcome to Intro to Philosophy. I’m Professor Krowchuk. You may call me Professor Krowchuk.” He wrote his name out across the board in big, blocky letters. “Now, contrary to what some of you may think, I do have eyes and ears, and I will put you out of your misery now. Yes, we are lucky enough to have Hamish Duke returning this year as my T.A., and yes, you will likely be seeing far more of him than you will of me.”

Alexis turned around and glanced at the three girls who’d been whispering earlier. The lead girl’s face was flushed and she was refusing to make eye contact with the professor now. Alexis snorted and turned back around.

“Hamish is well-versed in the subject manner for this course, and his assistance leaves me free to dedicate my time to the more advanced students in my other courses,” he continued saying flatly. “However, my office hours are listed in the front of your syllabus, should you require further assistance.” He set a hand on the stack of papers sitting on his desk.

Professor Krowchuk looked over as the door opened and a tall, blond man in a vest and jacket slipped into the room. “Sorry, Professor,” he said smoothly.

The professor waved him off dismissively. “You haven’t missed anything,” he said, before turning to face the class again. “This is Hamish Duke. As we were just saying, Hamish will be handling the majority of the class this semester, so I will leave the specifics of the syllabus to him.” He picked up the stack of papers and took them all the to first person on the far side of the front row. “Take one and pass them down.”

Once the papers were being passed around, Professor Krowchuk waved the T.A. over to the side of the room. “Was everything okay?” he asked quietly.

A puzzled expression crossed the younger man’s face. “Yes, sir?” he said, a questioning tone in his voice.

Professor Krowchuk gave a small, snorting laugh. “Just making sure. The Chancellor’s always had a reputation for being…intense. None of the staff has known quite how to handle her since news of her pregnancy got out over the summer.”

Hamish was facing away from Alexis so she couldn’t quite get an idea of his response, other than the fact that he abruptly straightened. “Uh, yes. It’s fine. I’ll, uh, explain after class.”

“No need,” Professor Krowchuk said, turning to walk back to the front of the class. Alexis could see the T.A. mutter something under his breath before smiling and following the professor.

“Alright,” Hamish said cheerfully. “Everybody should have a syllabus now. This class will be meeting Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays……”

Tyler Evans leisurely strolled across campus. He still had an hour before his next class, but his dorm was all the way on the other side of campus, which made it pointless to head back for such a short break. Instead, he thought about the clue to the coins and wandered around campus looking for something to trigger an idea. He’d already checked the library, to no avail, and then the oversize chess set he’d passed on campus.

He was passing one of the faculty parking lots when he spotted a woman hefting a box out of the trunk of her car. He had already unconsciously turned in her direction when she shifted and he realized she also appeared to be pregnant. Tyler picked up his pace, reaching to take the box from her once he reached her side.

“Let me help you with that,” he offered.

The woman turned, eyeing him with raised brows, but released her hold on the box. Now that he was closer to her, her recognized her from her speech at orientation over the weekend. “Thank you,” Chancellor Stone said, giving him a small nod. She reached up to close the trunk before turning back towards him. “I am _perfectly_ capable of carrying a simple box,” she said, as if it were a frequent debate these days, “but if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Yes, ma’am. Just show me where you’d like me to put it.”

Chancellor Stone headed for the administration building at a brisk pace, pausing only to hold the front doors open for him. She made polite small talk along the way, asking him how he was liking campus and whether he’d had his first class yet. She didn’t seem bothered when he immediately gave into his excitement about his studies and began talking in length about his 8 a.m. psychology class. But it wasn’t until she was leading him into her office that something occurred to him.

“Chancellor?” he called questioningly. When she looked up, he asked, “What do you know about Belgrave’s secret societies?”

Chancellor Stone looked mildly amused. “You know, I think you may be the first student to think of asking _me.”_ She looked down at her desk, busying herself with unpacking the papers that had been in the box. “Unfortunately, there isn’t much I can tell you. Each student must find their own path to the answer.” She glanced up again. “You’re dismissed.”

Tyler smiled tightly and nodded.

“And thank you, Mr. Evans,” she called after him, almost as an afterthought.

It wasn’t until he’d reached the lobby that he realized he’d never given the Chancellor his last name. He hurried out the doors, rerunning their entire conversation through his mind. He sat down on the first bench he passed and began rummaging through his backpack for the campus map. _Find their own path._ It was a clue. He knew it. And how did you find an unknown path? You followed a map.

For a moment, he debated whether to let any of the others know. They had, with varying amounts of contribution, worked together on the clue late into the night the evening before. But there also wasn’t going to be enough places for each of them, and he didn’t know any of them well enough to know how far they’d be willing to go to secure one of the places for themselves. Tyler checked the time on his phone. There wouldn’t be enough if he still wanted to make it to his next class, but afterwards, he’d go check it out. Then he’d decide what to tell others.

Sarah Grant tromped through the forest unhappily. She didn’t know why she was even doing this. She _didn’t_ want to join. The Order had sucked her brother in so deep, it had become _everything_ to him. And in the end, she _knew_ it had played a role in his death, even if nobody said as much. But maybe she was out searching for some stupid coin for the same reason she’d come to Belgrave in the first place. She needed to know what it was about this place that Kyle loved so much he would die for it.

Thankfully, Kyle had been a blabbermouth his freshman year and so it wasn’t difficult to figure out that she needed to use the map to decipher the clue within the words. Night Three. N 3. The Order was off to a bang up start, sending a bunch of freshman into a restricted, wooded part of campus as part of their test.

When Jasmine had sent her obligatory text that morning, Logan and Xander had immediately decided to skip class. There was no way they were waiting until their schedules lined up so they could all go together. It was every man for themselves and Jasmine should have realized that and not sent the text telling them what she suspected. Sucked for her, but they needed to be sure they got their coins first. Unfortunately, the map didn’t give them much help once they were in the wooded area, with no landmarks to help determine which sector they were currently in and Logan was nearly ready to give up when they heard a girl scream somewhere up ahead.

Both boys took off at a run – not so much because they intended to help, but because the only people likely to be out here were others looking for the same coins. A minute later, they nearly collided with a wide-eyed, out-of-breath girl – the little blonde who’d been late to the meeting. Xander grabbed her to steady her, but she pulled away, shaking her head frantically.

“Run!” she gasped.

Before she could say more, footsteps echoed around them from several directions, growing closer. Jasmine burst into view first, followed moments later by the other two boys in their group coming from opposite directions.

“What happened?” the blond one, Tyler, asked.

The girl kept gasping but she held open her hand, revealing a single gold coin. “Got coin…didn’t see…monster…too late,” she said between heaving breaths.

Tyler and the other newb looked at each other. “We’ll go check it out,” Tyler said for them both.

Xander let go of the frantic girl. “Not without us, you’re not!” One coin was already down. Like hell they’d be giving up their chance to get the others.

The blonde girl shook her head. “Fucking idiots,” she said, before taking off again.

As one, they all watched her disappear from view.

“Which way did she come from?” Eric asked.

Xander sighed heavily but began leading the way. Too late to ditch them now.

They came to a small clearing a short walk away. A trunk full of gold coins rested in the dim light streaming through the canopy, but nobody took another step.

“What the fuck is that?” Logan said under his breath.

Because next to the trunk was a creature no one had ever seen before. It was tall and muscular, standing upright like a human, but with dark fur and the head of a beast. Even from a distance, they could see the claws that curved out from the creature’s hands.

“Monster,” Xander repeated the girl’s choice of description.

The monster looked up and snarled, revealing a mouthful of huge, sharp teeth.

“We’re supposed to get past that?” Eric said in disbelief.

“Guess now we know why they gave us 3 days,” Tyler murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curious who you see making it/want to see make it.


	52. Hell Week: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that one was a beast to get organized

Matti had rented an apartment in a high-end complex that wasn’t too terribly far from Belgrave’s campus. It was the kind of place with a doorman, and a front desk, and a small, expensive restaurant with a second entrance off the lobby, and the kind of neighbors that only spent half the year in residence and the other half of the year at some kind of fancy vacation home. It wasn’t the kind of place that felt much like home, it felt more like a hotel really, like something temporary, but he’d been hesitant to buy and the place came highly recommended. But really, it had been restaurant that sold him.

When it became clear that those involved with the selection process would need a place to meet, somewhere that wasn’t the Temple or the Knight’s Den or too public, he’d taken the liberty of reserving a table at the little restaurant each morning for their daily meeting. He’d given the restaurant ample notice and they’d assured him that they’d be more than happy to accommodate, but from the grimace on the waitress’s face, Matti suspected she’d be the one he was owing for putting up with them.

Vera and Hamish had been the first to arrive on Tuesday morning, and while Hamish appeared pleasant enough despite the early hour, Vera was glaring at her decaf coffee with enough spite that the waitress had hesitantly asked if there was a problem with it and it was clear that Vera’s clipped response wasn’t reassuring to the poor girl. Hamish had chuckled and rubbed her back to calm her.

“It’s fine,” Hamish had assured the waitress. “She’s just pregnant and a little frustrated she can’t have her usual amount of caffeine.”

Vera had turned her glare on him next. “She’s not blind, Hamish. She can see that I’m pregnant. _Everyone_ can see that I’m pregnant.”

“She’s fine,” Hamish said again, smiling. He kept rubbing Vera’s back until she finally gave in and leaned over enough to rest her head against his arm.

“I thought I was getting my energy back,” she grumbled.

“You are,” Hamish assured her. “But you’re also still growing a little person, and you’ve been on the go for the past week. It’s understandable that you’re tired.”

“So remind me again why we’re meeting at the crack of dawn?” she asked.

Matti had happily taken the distraction to tune out the couple when Selena arrived next, as poised as ever. It was something that reminded him a bit of Vera, actually. The girl was difficult to rattle.

He inclined his head in greeting. “Medicum,” he murmured.

The girl beamed. So maybe she wasn’t _quite_ as in control as Vera. “Magus,” she murmured back. And then she turned to the approaching waitress and barked her drink order as if the girl was a second-class citizen. Matti sighed, but manners weren’t something he expected he’d ever be able to teach those who’d grown up privileged. But he’d made sure to thank the waitress upon her return and otherwise didn’t let it damper the polite conversation flow.

“So how’s it looking?” Matti asked, once the off-duty Knights arrived to join them.

Several of the Knights groaned dramatically.

“Sarah Grant and Eric Hughes each have their coin,” Jack started.

Selena huffed, crossing her arms. “Yeah, because the wolves weren’t ready.”

Matti looked at the gathered wolves for explanation.

“Sarah Grant was dumb luck,” Lilith grumbled.

Jack rolled his eyes. “She just happened to get there as Lilith and Randall were swapping shifts. We’re using the groundskeeper building to the south to stash our clothes and make sure we’re out of sight. Randall had just left and Lilith hasn’t gotten there yet when Sarah sprung the alarm we put around the area. Lilith managed to get there right as Sarah reached the trunk. We’ve narrowed the window for shift changes. It won’t happen again.”

“And Eric Hughes?”

That time, Jack grimaced. “We weren’t expecting any of them to go in the middle of the night. Also won’t happen again.”

Selena was gritting her teeth as she glared at the Knights. “This is a disaster. No one’s going to understand that _silence_ is supposed to be the key at this rate.”

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to replace the magic _rat_ with us. It’s a little more complicated than sitting inside a cage and just waiting for someone to reach in,” Randall complained.

“You haven’t even _been there_ when two of the coins were taken,” Selena hissed.

“It’s fine, Medicum,” Matti murmured. “Sarah Grant, admittedly, got lucky, but the tests aren’t over yet. Eric, on the other hand, managed to outplay us. Maybe it wasn’t the lesson we were intending with the test, but I don’t know that we should consider it an outright fail.”

Vera gave them a contemplating look. “I can’t see how it would hurt to have more insight into the way the neophytes think. Maybe we’ve been the ones going about it all wrong by giving them the answers.”

Selena glared at her previous Magus. “But Silence, Subservience, Observance is the very foundation of the Order,” she said as politely as possible between clenched teeth.

Vera simply lifted a brow. “And yet you openly acted against your _Grand_ Magus. That does not sound very subservient, does it?” Vera asked, quietly forcing Selena to hold her gaze. “And _don’t_ say I was in the wrong. The Order will _always_ do things you may disagree with. A disciple’s job is to shut up and do it anyways.”

“And what about you? You went against your Grand Magus, too.”

Vera’s smile was harsh and unpleasant. “Yes, but there’s a difference. I stood back. I bided my time, and gave him the opportunity to take himself out if possible. I did not act, until Edward was prepared to _sacrifice_ his own son for power. And more than that,” Vera leaned in, “I was a Magus-level practitioner. You were, at best, a Magistratus. A promising practitioner, but a student, all the same. You didn’t have the strength, or the nerve, to stand against me and do what needed to be done at any risk to yourself. You were impatient, and you were sloppy. And had I not been too distracted to help the Knights in their attempts to rescue Miss Bathory, I would still be your Grand Magus, whether you liked me or not.”

Matti chuckled uncomfortably. The tension surrounding the table was palpable, as the Knights all sat tensed, prepared to defend Vera if needed, while the two women glared daggers at each other. “Alright, ladies. That’s enough. Think of the baby,” he said, forcing a bright smile.

Vera turned her glare on him instead.

“I’m not going to attack a pregnant woman, Magus,” Selena scoffed.

“And do not walk on eggshells with me just because I’m pregnant. I am more than capable of handling a simple disagreement myself.”

Matti held his hands up and backed off.

“I-‘ll come back.”

Matti looked up and saw the waitress standing a few feet away, holding her notepad in her hands. He gave her a reassuring smile and gestured for her to come closer. “No, please.” He looked pointedly at Selena and then Vera. “We’re done here, yes?”

The waitress waited a moment longer and then took in a breath and began reciting the chef’s breakfast specials.

The graduate-level classes were always some of Gregg Krowchuk’s favorites to teach. The grad students were engaged, committed and passionate about the subject, which always led to thrilling discussions on the day’s topic. It was a totally different dynamic from the intro-level courses, which is why he’d often preferred to leave those to his T.A.’s, especially during the years he had a competent one. And Hamish Duke was certainly competent.

Hamish had first started working as his assistant during his final year in the undergrad program and Krowchuk had quickly maxed him out with the full course load the university would allow him to teach. He’d even gone so far as to get Hamish special permission to continue on as his T.A. when he surpassed the maximum number of semesters the university typically allowed for a T.A.

Krowchuk wasn’t entirely sure what Hamish’s goal for his education was. For someone so driven and intelligent, he should have finished his Masters in the minimum amount of time, but he’d never seemed particularly hurried and, when asked about it, Hamish had only shrugged and said he was comfortable with his progress. Whatever the truth was, Krowchuk wasn’t going to argue.

And then, finally, he had seen Hamish’s name on the list of students seeking to graduate at the end of the semester. He hadn’t brought it up when they’d met before the start of classes, aware that Hamish had always seemed oddly sensitive about his future plans, and Hamish hadn’t mentioned anything either, but when Hamish hung back at the end of their class Tuesday morning, Krowchuk could guess what was coming.

Krowchuk repeatedly shuffled the stack of papers on his desk as the minutes ticked by and the last few students leisurely gathered their belongings, chit chatting amongst themselves as if they had all the time in the world. He could tell Hamish appeared unusually rattled, and so the minute the last person began to exit the room, Krowchuk ended the boy’s waiting.

“Alright, Hamish,” Krowchuk said. “I take it there’s something you’ve been wanting to discuss?”

Hamish nodded. “Yes, sir. I wanted to give you ample notice that I won’t be returning to Belgrave for the spring term.”

“Mmm,” Krowchuk hummed. “I’m aware.” He glanced up from his desk and gave a small smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You had to give notice, remember? I saw your name on the list. I’m happy for you, even if I will miss having a T.A. I can trust to handle my intro-level students without much help,” he said, a teasing twinkle in his eye. “But I knew it would be coming sooner or later, so I’ve had my eye on a few upcoming possibilities to take your place. Though your admirers will be quite distraught, I suspect.”

Hamish laughed. “My what?” he asked, seeming genuinely confused.

Krowchuk waved a hand at the empty seats in front of them. “Your admirers. The undergrads signing up for my class because their friends told them you’d be teaching.” Krowchuk couldn’t help but laugh at the young man’s loss for words and couldn’t resist teasing him just a bit further. “I’m sure you’ll have your pick once they find out you won’t be returning next semester,” he chuckled hoarsely. He’d always been clear that he did not allow his T.A.’s to date students within the department and so even the lovestruck little girls had kept their flirting to a level apparently undetectable by the young man.

A corner of Hamish’s mouth quirked at the idea. “Well, I’m engaged with a baby arriving in a few months, so I expect they’ll be disappointed,” he said.

Not the words Krowchuk had expected. His chuckle died abruptly as he took in the sentence, but then he grinned. “Well, I’ll be.” That explained Hamish’s sudden interest in completing his Masters. “Congratulations. You’ve never mentioned a young lady.” He wouldn’t even be (too) upset if it turned out Hamish had been ignoring his rules about fraternizing with the students.

Hamish shifted uncomfortably and Krowchuk waited for the bomb to drop. “I almost said something yesterday but I wanted to get her permission before I confirmed anything,” Hamish said quietly.

Krowchuk’s brow knitted in confusion as he tried to follow.

“I’ve been going by her office for months now, but she’s never actually introduced me so I didn’t want her to get blindsided by any gossip.” He gave a tiny shrug and a half smile. “My fiancé is Chancellor Stone. Vera.”

Krowchuk had already worked that out and was scrambling to remember what his exact words had been the previous morning. “About yesterday…” he hedged. He hoped he hadn’t said anything too offensive when he’d questioned how the meeting had gone.

Hamish, thankfully, just chuckled, looking more relaxed now that his secret was out in the open. “I’m fully aware of the effect she has on most people.”

How a twenty-something year old grad student was the one person not affected by Chancellor Stone’s overpowering persona was lost on him. Krowchuk had been at Belgrave for a long time and, even during her earliest years in an administrative position, her direct, no nonsense attitude had made much older, tenured staff jump at her orders. It hadn’t come as a surprise when she’d been offered the job when the last Chancellor had stepped down. She was good at what she did. She just wasn’t someone he’d ever think of spending time with recreationally.

“Congratulations,” he said again, because he couldn’t think of anything else _to_ say. The idea of the Chancellor and a student, even a grad student, was still too foreign to think about.

Hamish smiled and turned to go, before hesitating at the door. “And Professor?” Hamish waited for him to look up. “All she wants is to be treated normally. Nobody needs to tiptoe around her right now, and to be honest, all it’s doing is pissing her off.”

Krowchuk gave him a nod. “I’ll take it under advisement if I have to meet with her about anything.” Thankfully, he rarely did. Most matters were handled via the department’s Dean.

“Thank you. And if you could pass it on as well?”

“Of course.”

Krowchuk went straight to his office afterwards and sank into his chair. The Chancellor. It was a side of her he wouldn’t have expected, but then how much did any of them really know about her? She was the driving force behind their institution, the presence always there looking over everyone’s shoulder, pushing them to be more. She’d always come to school functions alone, as far as he remembered, and she never attended personal gatherings hosted by faculty.

When the rumors of Chancellor Stone’s pregnancy had first begun leaking from the admin building, he’d dismissed it as mean-spirited gossip. It seemed more likely that she had gained a few pounds and the vultures had swarmed, nothing more than hurtful words whispered by the older women who envied her for being everything they weren’t. But then the rumors solidified into fact, and the entire campus was forced to start viewing her, not as something unknown and untouchable, but as an actual human being, a woman with a family and a life of her own. The gossip had only grown more widespread from there, as people speculated about the personal life of a woman who’d always been around but nobody truly knew. Teasing remarks about the kind of man the Chancellor would go for, or rather what kind of whipped, weak-willed man he must be, had been a frequent source of amusement whenever the more gossip-prone professors got together. Nobody would have ever suspected the truth.

“Gregg.”

Krowchuk looked up to find Lynn Barker, another professor from his department, standing outside his office door.

“Everything okay? You’ve been staring at the wall the whole time I’ve been standing here.”

He gave her a wry smile. Hamish had told him to tell people. “I just found out that my T.A. is the Chancellor’s mystery suitor.”

Lynn nearly choked, despite the fact she hadn’t even been sipping the coffee she was holding. “Your T.A.?! The sort of odd, old-fashioned one with the vests and ties?”

“That’s the one.”

“Huh,” she hummed, taking it in.

Xander Morrison hopped around in place, pepping himself up. He and Logan had spent the whole night throwing ideas around for getting past the monster. This was a test, which meant there had to be an answer so giving up wasn’t even an option. The only problem was would they get it done before the time limit.

Their plan had been Logan’s idea, but as the faster of the pair, it put Xander in the danger seat. They’d spent every spare minute of the morning running drills. Xander considered himself fairly fit – he’d played baseball since he could hold a bat – but he wanted to know down to the minute how much time he would have. How long could he hold a breakneck pace? How quickly could Logan be in and out? How far would he have to lure the beast before it was safe for Logan to sneak in?

They’d tested the beast too. That hadn’t been as easy and had included thrown rocks, yelling, and one terrifying experiment where they prayed the thing couldn’t climb trees. It hadn’t, but Xander had nearly been late to his next class by the time the creature lost interest and drifted away.

But finally it was time and if it didn’t work….well, he hoped it was true that those masked people were watching and he hoped they had a way to call off the beasts.

When they reached their designated meeting spot, Xander took a breath. “Got your phone?” They’d agreed that their signal would be a call, letting him know that Logan had gotten his coin and was safely away. If everything worked as planned, Logan would have already convinced the creature to turn back – it seemed insanely possessive of its treasure and they hoped if he made enough of a ruckus taking the coin, it would give up the chase – but even if didn’t work, the unanswered call would signal Logan to come help.

“You have bars?” Logan asked, double checking his own phone.

Xander looked before nodding. “Yeah.”

“We got this, man,” Logan said, raising a fist for him to bump.

“We got this,” Xander echoed.

Tyler sat in one of the upper limbs of a tree where he could look down on the huge wolf-like creature and so he’d also been able to watch, unnoticed, as the other two boys slowly approached.

“It’ll be fine,” he heard one of them, Logan, he thought, say. “We timed it this morning. You can outrun it.”

Tyler had intended to stay quiet, to watch them enact their plan unnoticed as he had all day. He’d watched their so-called tests, loud and sloppy as they were, and it was possible they might have worked then, but he couldn’t let them get one or both of them killed.

“It’s not the same creature,” he called down to them.

The pair instantly shut up, looking up to try to spot him in his tree.

“What are you talking about? Of course it’s the same monster,” Logan said, locating him.

Tyler threw his leg over the limb and let both his feet dangle. “It’s not. I’ve been making notes. There’s at least two, maybe three. They swap out at different times. The one that was here earlier had more of a brownish tint and it didn’t have the white patch,” he said, gesturing to his chin.

Logan nudged his buddy. “He’s just trying to make us stall because he hasn’t worked up the guts to try for the coin either.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. He wasn’t the only one who hadn’t given it a try yet. As far as he knew, Alexis planned to attempt to recreate Eric’s success by sneaking out during the night and Jasmine seemed to be working on some other angle, because she’d come out, totally alone, a couple of times so far, only to check in on the creature and then leave again.

He swung his leg back over the branch and leaned against the broad trunk to watch. He still had a full twenty-four hours and some change before he had to have one of those coins. There was nothing wrong with standing back and studying the situation first. There was always something to learn from a failed attempt, whether it was his or someone else’s.

Still, he had to hold his breath when Xander crept out into view. At first, the wolf-beast seemed to want to ignore him. It lifted its enormous head and sniffed the air, but seemed to find the intruder uninteresting and turned away, lumbering in the opposite direction from where they wanted it to go. They had apparently planned for that possible outcome though, because then Xander held up something small and gold – not a coin, Tyler doubted Eric or the other girl would have risked loaning theirs, but something similar in size.

“Hey!” Xander shouted. “You want it back?! Then come and-, OH SHIT!”

The creature took off, far faster than the dawdling pace of the morning’s protector, and in only a few giant strides, it had closed the gap between them. Xander turned, scrambling for purchase on the leafy ground, and ran in the direction they’d outlined that morning. A steady stream of curses led the beast deeper into the surrounding trees. Logan waited until his friend’s voice could barely be heard, although the sound of tree limbs breaking in the distance was still easily audible, before tiptoeing into the open, as quietly as his hulking frame would allow.

And then, with no warning, the petite, dark-haired Jasmine slipped out of a dark patch of overgrowth and dashed forward to snatch a coin with a triumphant grin.

“Thank you, boys,” she chirped cheerfully.

Tyler nearly fell out of his tree with silent laughter. He wasn’t sure if that had been Jasmine’s plan all along or if she was simply being opportunistic, but the look of outrage on Logan’s face was hysterical.

“Give it back!” Logan hissed.

Jasmine laughed. “There’s a whole chest of them.”

“You cheated.”

“I played it smart. Maybe you should too,” she said, turning to leave. “Before Xander gets eaten by that monster.”

Logan looked like he wanted to follow her but he paused, glancing towards the distant sounds of his friend thrashing around somewhere in the forest, and let her go. With a huff, he pocketed one of the coins for himself and then, before Tyler could process what he was doing, Logan overturned the entire chest of coins. They spilled out in a loud, jingling heap.

In the distance, the sound of the creature crashing through the trees abruptly stopped. Tyler expected that would be it. Logan would run, the creature would leave off its pursuit to return to its treasure, and then the duo would be left to figure out a way to get a second coin for Xander. Assuming Logan wouldn’t throw his friend under the bus now that he’d claimed his own coin.

But no, Logan bent down, scooped up a handful of coins and then flung them. He kept repeating the action until there were coins everywhere, and then, finally, he turned and ran.

Before Tyler could decide whether he wanted to come down from the safety of his tree and follow Jasmine’s lead in taking advantage of the situation, Xander burst into the clearing. He paused just long enough to snatch a stray coin from along the tree line, never coming to a complete stop, and then he was gone again.

The wolf-creature scrambled into view moments later. It stopped, taking in the scene with a surprising amount of intelligence in its silvery eyes. And then it turned and ran off, leaving its treasure in a large, scattered semi-circle.

Tyler stayed put, too cautious to come down when he didn’t know where the creature had gone or when it would come back. It was eerily quiet now that it wasn’t chasing after Xander and he had to strain for any clue as to where it was at.

About ten minutes passed before it lumbered back into view and immediately began scooping the nearest coins back into the chest with its large, clawed paws. It grumbled all the while, making it sound as if it was talking to itself as it set about righting the camp.

Only a few minutes more, and Tyler was glad he’d stayed in the safety of the branches as a second creature walked directly beneath his tree, coming from the path he usually took to get to the clearing. The brown-tinted creature walked out into the small, open space and, like the first, looked around at the chaos.

The first bared its teeth at the second and, for a moment, Tyler expected them to fight, but then the second gave a heavy huffing sound, like it was giving up, and began helping to gather the coins. Tyler watched in amazement as the beasts worked together to accomplish their task and then, moments later, a third appeared. The newest creature was a hulking beast, closer in color to the first, but slightly larger, and without the patch of white on the underside of its muzzle. It let out a bark, almost like a laugh, that the first creature snarled at.

In no time at all, the coins were all seemingly accounted for, although the grey-patched one kept swiping at bits of overgrowth around the edges, as if it weren’t entirely sure. But it was also the first to leave, disappearing back into the surrounding trees and leaving its two pack members to keep watch.

Tyler could have sworn it looked directly at him as it left.

“Alexis is out,” Matti said flatly the next morning at breakfast.

Vera shrugged and sipped at her orange juice. “We always lose one or two at the first stage. It’s still a good success rate.”

Matti sighed. “I know but…I wanted them to all make it. We even gave them extra time.”

“Extra time won’t make up for having a werewolf scare the piss out of her,” Randall said with a laugh.

Gabrielle glared at her boyfriend. “That was her fault for not expecting to find one of us waiting there.”

Randall kept chuckling. “I think she would have curled up and died there if Tyler hadn’t come with her and pulled her to safety.”

Gabrielle huffed. “I wasn’t _trying_ to terrify her.”

Selena gave a little, disapproving sniffle. “You put the _black_ wolf on night duty. What did you expect?”

“I don’t see why you’re so upset,” Vera said to Selena. “Whatever the case, the girl clearly doesn’t have the fortitude to handle the Order. She would buckle under the first difficult incantation.”

Selena glared but didn’t argue, knowing Vera was right.

Matti knew it too. As neat as it would be to start his first fall as Temple Magus with a clean sweep of the first trial, the tests were designed to weed out unworthy candidates. Alexis seemed like a smart girl, but she didn’t have the gumption to deal with the darker side of the Order. “What about the last one? Tyler? Has he made any attempts yet?”

“Not yet,” Hamish confirmed.

“I feel like he’s planning something, though,” Randall said. “He’s spent the better part of two days up in one of those trees.”

“Well, he’s only got until dusk to make a move,” Selena pointed out.

“We know,” all three of the Knights said at once.

Gabrielle yawned. “If that’s it, I could use a couple more hours of sleep before my first class today.” She looked only to Vera for approval and Vera gave it with a small nod and a dismissive wave of her hand.

Matti sighed. “Tyler’s the last of them and then we turn the next stage of the test over to the disciples. Why don’t we cut this meeting short and meet again in the morning?”

Randall looked up, horrified. “But we haven’t eaten yet.”

All through his classes, Tyler couldn’t stop thinking about the wolf-creatures in the forest. He didn’t venture out to the site between classes, as he had the day before, but as soon as his last class of the day let out, he made his way out to the forest. He ran through all the scenes in his mind as he walked.

The dark grey creature crossing the clearing in moments. Xander staying ahead of it. The crashing of broken tree limbs during the pursuit, and then the perfect calm of the agile beast slipping through the trees soon after. The black one appearing out of nowhere, standing over Alexis, snarling, its teeth glinting in the dim light of the moon. She’d been frozen stiff, utterly helpless as he pulled her out from under its hulking shadow. They’d both made it out with nothing more than the cuts and scrapes from the sticks they’d run into along the way.

This was a test, one they all had had to find their own answers to, and Tyler was fairly confident that he’d found the key.

For the first time, Tyler bypassed his tree. While he still had a few hours, and he’d thought about using them to spy just a bit longer, there didn’t seem to be a point. He was the last of the Neophytes. Nobody was coming. It was just him and the wolf-creature now.

It was the brown-tinted one waiting for him and it was already looking in his direction. Tyler took a breath and walked out of the safety of the trees. It bared its teeth but Tyler kept walking. Its response was a low, throaty growl. Tyler kept walking. The ground seemed to shake beneath its heavy footsteps as it charged, closing the distance between them. Tyler stopped advancing but stood, closing his eyes in the off chance he was wrong.

But the creature never touched him. He could feel it standing over him, its presence suffocating, but he stood firm. Warm breath blew his hair across his forehead, accompanied by a threatening growl, but he knew it wouldn’t hurt him. This was a test and, whatever the creatures were, they’d been trained to scare, not harm.

“I can’t decide whether you’re brave or just that much of an idiot,” a female voice spoke, inches in front of him.

Tyler opened one eye, expecting to see one of the robed figures standing with the creature but there was only a girl. A very naked girl. He snapped his eye shut again, lifting his chin to resist the urge to peek again. He heard the girl huff in amusement.

“I’m going with stupid,” the girl decided.

Tyler’s face burned with embarrassment. “I’ve been watching-”

_“We know,”_ the girl said. “We have been too.”

“The creatures have only been trying to scare us. No one’s gotten hurt.”

Another huff. _“Creature?_ We’re werewolves, dummy. And I _told_ everyone we should be roughing you up a little,” she growled. “We made it too easy.”

Tyler wanted to laugh, because _easy_ wasn’t what he would have described it as. Before he had a chance to say as much, a new voice joined them.

“Lilith!” another girl snapped from behind him.

Tyler spun around to see the two hooded figures standing there.

“You knew you weren’t supposed to reveal yourself yet,” the male voice said.

The naked girl sauntered past him, back into view. “He was halfway to figuring it out anyways.”

“You know the rules, Knight,” the girl’s voice snarled, sounding angrier than the wolf-creature…the werewolf.

Before he knew what had happened, a puff of dust blew into his face and everything went black.

Tyler woke as the sun was just beginning to fall below the tree line. He was alone. There were no wolf-creatures, no chest of coins, no other people, but there was a weight in his closed hand and when he uncurled his fingers, a single gold coin glinted in the palm of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I allllmost tormented you by ending it as Tyler was powdered, but decided that would be true cruel. But yes, poor Alexis is out. Sorry Alexis fans!
> 
> Next up is the Subservience tests. I won't actually be writing them out, because that's very Order heavy and not much Vermish/Knights, but we'll pick up again with the aftermath of those.


	53. Hell Week: Subservience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for a quick reminder for those who haven’t been rewatching and studying the first episode again, the only bits we got about the Subservience test is that Jack was given a “scavenger hunt” that included a gun and cocaine (which Amir commented on as “not making it easy for you”, which sounds like they went over the top for Jack), and then Amir saying that he didn’t know if they were testing his subservience or his religious convictions. So I’m taking the subservience tests as having a pretty broad range of options, entirely dependent on the preferences of the medicums and magistrati in charge. And then we got even less about Observance, since what we saw of that was Kyle setting Jack up to be blackmailed. I'm assuming the Order takes it mean Observance, as in agreement to participate in all rituals, but the tests don't seem to exactly correlate.

Tyler sat on the curb at the edge of the parking lot and waited. He’d refused the task, thinking that would be it, but apparently they’d only passed it on to someone else. At 5 pm, people began trickling past, many of them eyeing the damage with a mix of pity and disgust. Chancellor Stone was one of the last to leave and Tyler stood when he saw her exit the building.

“Mr. Evans,” she acknowledged, eyeing him with something like suspicion. Her nose crinkled as she got closer, until finally she stopped, sniffing the air with a sickened expression. “I’m sorry, but what _is_ that?”

“Me. Probably,” he admitted. “I tried to clean up as much as I could but in a parking lot…”

“Clean. Up. What?” she asked slowly.

He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s a stupid pledge dare. I don’t think they even knew it was your car-” He didn’t get to say more because she quickly turned and walked past him, eyes searching ahead to assess the damage.

She stopped several yards away, looking like she was barely containing the urge to vomit. Her car had been completely bombarded with raw, rotting eggs. Tyler had done what he could to clear away the mess, but most of the sticky slime and the smell remained. She turned to him, her expression hard. “You?”

He shook his head. “I refused. I don’t think they knew it was yours.” He’d tried to tell them. He wasn’t going to egg the Chancellor’s car, not even with unrotten eggs. The risk of expulsion wasn’t worth it. He worked too hard to get here to give it up in his first week.

She kept staring at the car with pursed lips. “They knew,” she said flatly. “Ugh. The smell’s going to make me vomit if I keep standing here. Walk with me."

She took him off to the far edge of the parking lot, where the smell of the eggs barely reached them, before pulling her phone from her purse. She tapped out a quick message, waiting for the response, and then tucked it back into its pocket. She looked over at him, her eyes narrowed. “How did _you_ know it was my car?”

“The license plate,” he said. She glanced back at her car with a perplexed look. “I noticed it the other day. Things I read stick with me enough that I recognized it when I saw it again.”

She breathed out through her nose but otherwise didn’t speak again and he didn’t try to offer up any more apologies or weak defenses for whichever Neophyte had been the one to accept the dare.

It didn’t take long for the recipient of Chancellor Stone’s text to arrive and she straightened as a man approached, his expression hard to read. “What’d they do?” the man growled. The Chancellor simply waved in the direction of her car and the man’s expression hardened. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, and Tyler realized this must be someone at the top of the Order. The man’s bright blue eyes flickered over to him next, questioning.

“Mr. Evans refused the task, and then waited for me to explain what happened,” Chancellor Stone explained. There was something unspoken in her tone and the man heaved a sigh.

“I’ll talk with them.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, his jaw working for a moment, before looking at directly at Tyler. “Tyler Evans, what is the secret of the Order?” he asked.

Tyler pulled back, unprepared for the abrupt question, but then thought on the question. The answer came easily, even if it was difficult to voice it aloud. “Magic is real?” It sounded ridiculous, even to his own ears, but between the wolf-creatures, the notes he’d found in his pockets, and the unnaturally blue rose – something he’d thought dyed at first, but he now suspected was real – it seemed the, bizarrely, logical answer.

“Is that a question or a statement, Mr. Evans?” the Chancellor asked.

He took a breath. “A statement. Magic is real.”

The two adults looked at him with silent approval in their eyes, and then the man nodded once. He turned and began walking towards the car, said something Tyler’s unfamiliar mind didn’t comprehend, and flicked a hand towards the car. In an instant, every trace of the eggs, including the smell, were gone.

“I’m sorry, Vera,” the man said as he turned back around.

She gave him a small nod of acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

“It won’t happen again,” he assured her. He started to leave, grumbling something under his breath, when she called after him.

“Matti.” She waited for him to look over his shoulder. “Don’t rush into any decisions.”

One brow arched. “You have an idea?”

“Not yet.”

His mouth straightened into a firm line as he nodded, then walked away.

Tyler waited until the man was a good distance away. “I’m not getting in, am I?” He’d assumed as much the moment he’d refused the task. It was a disappointment, but one he would accept.

She looked at him for a long moment, before looking away, busying herself with searching for her keys. “I would not hold my breath,” she said softly.

He tightened his lips around the unexpected disappointment at her words and nodded.

Chancellor Stone let out a sigh. “I had this talk all too recently with another.” She looked up and held his gaze firmly. “Do not think of kindness as a failure. It isn’t, and it’s something the Order desperately needs more of, in my opinion.”

He looked at her curiously. “Are you a member?”

She barked out a bitter laugh. “Not anymore.”

Tyler glanced over at her car. “Is that why you couldn’t do the-” He waved his hand towards it, not wanting to sound stupid if he chose the wrong word.

“No,” she said, clearly refusing to elaborate further. She glanced down at the keys in her hand, then back up. “I will see what I can do, Mr. Evans.” Then she walked away.

Matti paced the length of the Reliquary, his anger building with each step. He’d called in every one of the Medicums and Magistrati involved with the selection process but, as much as he wanted to barge out there and start yelling at them, he was making them wait until they all arrived. He could hear their quiet murmurings outside the door, and what angered him further was that they didn’t sound overly concerned.

But finally, the magical alarm he’d set across the entrance to the Temple tripped a fourth time and he flung open the doors and stalked out to where Selena Durov and her three hand-picked disciples were waiting. Only half of them were sitting comfortably, while Selena and another boy stood, attentively but not stiffly, off to the side.

“We’ll cut to the chase,” Matti snarled. “Whose idea was it?”

The four glanced at each other but, as the one he had selected, Selena was silently chosen to be their spokesperson. “It was just a prank,” she said.

He breathed in and out through his nose, trying to restrain his flaring temper. “A prank?”

“It didn’t hurt anyone,” the boy sitting on a couch said, rolling his eyes. The others nodded along with him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. How had Vera done this for so many years? “Miss Durov,” he said formally, “in case you’ve forgotten, our agreement was that you would be promoted again _if_ you managed to avoid antagonizing the Knights before the end of the selection. _We are not there.”_

Selena paled. “It was a _prank,”_ she said again, desperately. “We’ve always made the Neophytes do stupid things like that. It’s the whole point of the Subservience test.”

He growled. “The Subservience test is not the problem, so much as the fact that you specifically targeted one of the few people you were expressly warned against.”

Selena looked to her friends for backup, but nobody said a word. It didn’t surprise him that one of them had likely been the mastermind behind the plan, but he had put Selena in charge. She had selected them to help her, and he had given her the power to shut down their ideas.

Matti began pacing again, reigning himself in. “My _job_ is to keep you alive, and yet I’m beginning to think you’re just looking for a reason to go to war with the Knights.” The terrifying part was, he could see the confidence in some of their eyes. They had no clue what the Knights were capable of. “Let me make this clear,” he hissed. “You _would not_ survive. So I will ask you again, _whose idea was it?”_

This time, Selena caved instantly, looking directly at the boy lounging on the couch. The other two averted their eyes, refusing to look at either Matti or the boy.

Matti clenched his jaw. “I’m not in the mood for second chances.” The boy’s eyes widened and he started to sit up, but Matti already had the spell prepared and in seconds, he was asleep. He met the startled gazes of each of the others. “I’m not playing games here, do I make myself clear? Now, if there’s anything else you’ve got planned that involves the Knights, _call_ _it off.”_

As one, they lowered their eyes and nodded.

“Take care of him.” Matti gestured at the unconscious boy.

Another round of silent nods.

“Magus?” Selena called tentatively when he turned away. He looked back. “The morning meeting?”

His jaw tightened. They still had another day of testing. “Don’t be late. I want full details before you proceed,” he ordered.

There were some days Vera really wished she could still have alcohol, this being one of them. She’d arrived home, only to discover that she hadn’t been the only one on the receiving end of one of the Order’s ‘pranks’. Thankfully, Hamish’s massages were proving to be nearly as effective at relaxing her after a long day. Especially with the added discomfort of her progressing pregnancy.

Vera hummed with pleasure as Hamish’s hands found a particularly sore spot. He chuckled but kept his hands in place, gently kneading the tension out of her lower back. “Not funny,” she mumbled. He spread his hands, letting his fingers wrap around to her sides, and squeezed gently. “Mmm, keep doing that.”

It had been two weeks since Hamish and the others had convinced Alpha to bond with her and the difference had been immediate and noticeable, but to her surprise, it hadn’t ended there. She could still feel the hide pushing power into her, mending the damage she’d lived with for so long she hadn’t even been aware she still needed healing. And yet every day, she felt the little changes of her body recovering, strengthening. But she also felt that power being pushed into her child, making up for the months that her body had struggled to support them both, and that change was proving to be less pleasant. The baby was growing rapidly, supported by the magic of the hide, and her belly was expanding accordingly. What had been a small, cute little bump a few weeks ago had become a full, round, sixth-month belly, and her body ached in protest at the sudden added weight. Unfortunately, it seemed even the benefit of Alpha’s strength and enhanced healing couldn’t prevent the common aches and pains of pregnancy.

Her phone dinged and she groaned at the interruption, but looked up long enough to check it. “Matti wants to drop by,” she mumbled to Hamish, dropping the phone back onto the couch and resting her head on her folded arms again.

“What ever you want,” Hamish told her.

She let out a heavy breath but reached for her phone again. “We should,” she relented. After months of what had seemed to be fairly peaceful coexistence between their organizations, they’d been caught off-guard.

“Do you want me to help you up?”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “Did I say stop? You promised me a back rub.” Hamish bit back a smirk but resumed his gentle kneading. And she got it, she did. She wouldn’t normally want to be caught sitting on the floor but her back ached and she couldn’t comfortably lay on her stomach anymore, and so sitting or kneeling in front of the couch had proven to be the most comfortable option.

“Am I interrupting something?” Matti said uncertainly when he walked in the door and found them still in the same positions.

Vera looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “I answered you, didn’t I? So what’s the situation?”

She shot him an annoyed glance when he sank onto the couch beside her, making the cushion she was leaning on rise slightly, but she wasn’t sure he noticed. “I’m lost, Vee. I thought I’d made it clear the Knights were off-limits, that they needed to learn to work _with_ you, but the first chance they get, they find a way to antagonize you and try to pass it off as fulfilling one of the tests.”

Vera heaved a sigh but finally straightened. “I suspect that’s partially my fault,” she admitted. She felt Hamish stand up beside her and glanced up as he extended a hand, before accepting his help. She sat down in a chair opposite Matti. “I always stood back and let them run the selection with as little interference as possible.” Maybe she had done it because that was the way the previous Magus had done it. Maybe it was because she herself hadn’t fit in with her peers, and so she'd thought if she let the students choose, it would form a bond between them that she had lacked. “I had selected the Neophyte candidates. Which three made it through didn’t seem to matter in most instances. But I think maybe I was doing it wrong. Maybe we all have been.” She hesitated, her mouth open, before continuing uncertainly. “I don’t understand the point of these tests.” Even now, having left the Order, it sounded wrong to be questioning something she’d devoted so much of her life to.

“What do they show us about any of these kids?” she asked. “Silence? Taking a coin from a rat that’s been enchanted to attack loud noises isn’t going to teach these kids to keep secrets. And Subservience?” She laughed bitterly. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned this past year, it’s that subservience is a fickle thing and asking a bunch of competitive teenagers to break the law or act against their personal morals isn’t going to stop them from questioning a leader that they don’t trust or understand. We have learned more about this set of Neophytes from one test where we threw out all the rules, than I knew about any previous Acolyte.”

“So what do we do?” Matti asked.

Vera shook her head. She wasn’t sure and, for this this group of Neophytes, she was afraid it was already too late in the game to change the course now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if it wasn't clear, Matti's question about the secret of the Order was a condensed 3rd test (Observance). They're aware that Tyler's failed the 2nd test, but they're trying to figure out where to go next considering how the Order disciples handled the Subservience test.
> 
> Gonna edit on a quick note one the two types of comments I’ve received so far. No, Tyler isn’t out yet. 
> 
> And Selena. Selena strikes me as the kind of character who gets sucked into others bad behaviors, even at a detriment to herself. We saw it with Angus for instance. Even after already being demoted once, she jumped right back into the next bad idea and got demoted again. I feel like she talks a big game, but she’s secretly insecure enough that she doesn’t want to act against her peers and be ostracized. And no, I’m not done with her.
> 
> Edit again bc it’s early and my mind doesn’t fully turn on in the mornings. Selena is also a product of what Vera was talking about in the end. The other students were given so much power over selecting who they wanted to join them, I think it unconsciously created a group who value each other’s opinions more than their Magus. The medicums and magistrati select them. They tutor them. The Magus is more on the outskirts from the very beginning, so when it comes to doing what the Magus wants or what their peers are doing, those like Selena flock to the stronger bond instead of doing what’s right. If that makes sense in my rambling thoughts. But anyways, that’s what was going through my head when this chapter came together. The Order had always treated the Subservience tests as a game to see how far they could push the neophytes and I feel like despite Vera and Matti’s working together, the disciples wouldn’t have been able to resist the opportunity to use someone else to get back at Vera/Knights just a little. And Selena is just too insecure to resist. She’s already the lowest ranking in her own age group and I’m sure that’s played a role in how they’ve treated her. she’s not going to push them into alienating her further.


	54. Observance: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went in a different direction than I originally planned so I decided to cut it in half so I could get it out

Selena was already waiting when Matti arrived the next morning. For the first time since he’d given her the position of leading the selection, she looked suitably subdued and she eyed him with caution. But Matti had also had the night to calm down and his anger had mellowed into more of a frustrated disappointment.

“Selena,” he murmured as he took his seat. He wasn’t going to give her any more false impressions regarding her station, not until he’d followed the terms of his own arrangement and waited until after the new Acolytes had been inducted, and he wasn’t entirely certain yet how he wanted to proceed there.

“Magus,” she said quietly. She hesitated, then continued, “We powdered Nicholas once you’d left, as instructed.”

He nodded his acknowledgment, then sighed. “What do I need to do to get through to you all that we do not want the Knights as our enemies?” he asked.

Selena stayed quiet and, not for the first time, his mind drifted back to when he’d teased the Council about hosting a tournament to let the Neophytes fight for a position. Maybe that was what they needed to do here. Let the Knights and the disciples fight it out, under the strict regulations of a proper competition. He needed to talk it out with Vera. They needed to get this simmering tension under control in a productive way, before things got bloody.

But that wasn’t anything he needed to talk to Selena about. “Let’s go over the candidates before the others get here. I want to know where they all stand after the last test.”

Selena nodded, looking relieved by the change of subject. “Yes, Magus,” she said, sounding exponentially more upbeat. “So it’s currently looking like we’ve got Jasmine Wright, Logan Carroll, and Xander Morrison at the top of the list-”

“Wait. Stop, stop, stop,” Matti interrupted. “Why those three?” He knew why. From what he’d seen, they were like every other uptight, self-centered member of the Order, but he was curious to see what explanation his disciples were giving themselves for the choices.

Selena looked taken aback. Her eyes searched the room as she thought, which meant it was as he’d expected. They’d picked the ones most like themselves, not the ones most suitable.

“Let’s start with Logan Carroll,” Matti said, beginning alphabetically.

Selena began to compose herself, once she was given a place to start. She began listing off a series of traits that felt more like fluff to him, but when she reached, “he’s a team player”, Matti couldn’t help but snort.

“How’s that?”

Eyes wide, she explained, “Logan and Alexander Morrison devised a plan together that allowed them to sneak past the Knights to the coins. They-”

Matti rolled his eyes. “Logan Carroll assigned himself the safe role in that ‘team’. All the risk was on the other boy and, the moment there was even the slightest deviation to the plan, he stopped thinking of Alexander to squabble over something insignificant.” He arched a brow. “You all seem eager for a fight with the Knights. Tell me, is Logan Carroll someone you would want at your back?” She didn’t try to counter. He settled back against his chair. “Tyler Evans.”

“He failed his Subservience test,” she said, looking surprised that he was even mentioning Tyler.

“Tyler Evans refused to deface the Chancellor of this University’s property. The way I see it, he was the only one to show good judgement.”

Selena buckled down on her argument. “But Subservience to the Order means completing the job you were assigned, regardless of personal convictions.”

“I fail to see how egging a car or _filling somebody’s bag with dog shit_ proves that they won’t question every decision their Magus makes.”

She flushed, though it could have been because of her own failure to be subservient or because Hamish and Vera had told him about the ‘prank’ Jack had been subjected to.

When she didn’t respond, Matti decided to continue himself. “From what I’ve observed, Tyler Evans is intelligent. He doesn’t rush his decisions. He’s quick to offer his assistance, even at no benefit to himself. And yet you don’t want him, why is that?” Matti rested his chin on his hand as he watched Selena squirm. He didn’t force her to answer, suspecting he already knew the answer. They disliked that he had seen through the werewolves and realized they weren’t something he needed to fear. It was a positive in Matti’s book, but the disciples were still bitter and angry and they were pushing against anyone that they thought might side with the Knights over them. It was something Matti needed to fix. Fast. “Let’s talk about Sarah Grant next, then. On paper, Sarah seemed to be one of our best choices.”

Selena hesitated again, although this time she looked uncertain rather than defensive. “I would agree, except…” she said slowly, “…Sarah doesn’t seem to want to join.”

Matti frowned. Everybody wanted to join, even when they knew next to nothing about the Order. It was part of being young and stupid, he supposed. Dangle an exclusive secret society and the hint of potential power and they snapped at the opportunity like starving dogs. So why wasn’t Sarah? “But she is passing the tests?” he asked, not quite a question.

Selena shrugged. “She was the first to find the location of the coins, actually, but claiming it was more dumb luck than a true pass. And she did pass her second test but…I don’t know. She doesn’t feel committed. I don’t know that she would be an active, valued disciple.”

Matti didn’t either, but it did give him an idea. “We’re throwing out the third test.”

Selena’s eyes got wide. “What?!” she squawked, before catching herself. “Magus,” she restarted, more politely.

But Matti had a plan unfolding in his mind and he didn’t stop to let her voice her protest. “Throw out all the tests so far.” Vera’s comments rang in his head. What did they tell you about the Neophytes anyways? “Call the rest of your team and have them meet us here. We need to have everybody on the same page.”

For a moment, he thought she was going to make up an excuse not to, but then she seemed to think twice about it and did as he requested. He suspected the two remaining Medicums would be frustrated at being pulled from their beds at such an early hour, but the one benefit of being Magus was that he could issue such orders and they had no choice but to show up.

Randall and Gabrielle were the first to arrive, beating Vera for perhaps the first time ever. Randall plopped down in the chair across from Selena and shook his head. “Not cool.”

Selena flushed but, with a warning glance from Matti, remained quiet.

“It’s been taken care of,” Matti told the Knights.

“Hamish told us,” Gabrielle said, though Randall kept slowly shaking his head.

Thankfully, Vera and Hamish arrived moments later, before Matti had to get concerned about keeping them all in check on his own. Unlike with the first two arrivals, Selena seemed to sink lower in her seat at the sight of her previous Magus.

Vera looked at her and rolled her eyes. “Sit up, Miss Durov. If you’re going to act out like a child, you can at least own it and not hide like one too.”

Randall snorted with silent laughter, but Selena straightened up, her cheeks burning. Vera and Hamish took their seats and waited for the waitress to come take their drink order.

Matti kept watching Vera out of the corner of his eye as they waited for the two disciples to arrive. Something seemed off about her, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Hamish didn’t look concerned so he suspected it wasn’t that she wasn’t feeling well or anything else serious, but she seemed different.

He finally recognized it when the two Medicums walked into the restaurant. Vera was back in her closed off, think-twice-before-you-open-your-mouth-Acolyte, Magus-mode. He hadn’t realized how open Vera had become around her Knights, even with Selena present, until she’d reverted back to her old act. It made what Selena and her cohorts had done even more infuriating, but laying into them again would only humiliate them and that wouldn’t make the situation better.

Still, Matti had to suppress a laugh when the two finally arrived, only to freeze abruptly when they spotted the full table. The girl latched onto her male companion’s arm and remained half hidden behind him as they approached the table.

Vera gave the two a bored look. “Miss Brandt, Mr. Price,” she greeted flatly. It was as close as she’d get to telling them she wasn’t about to set the wolves on them.

“It was Nicholas’s idea,” the boy said.

Vera gave him a tight, unimpressed smile. “Yes, so I’ve been told,” she clipped. “Now, would you please take a seat so we can begin?” It clearly wasn’t a request. She waited until they were seated before facing him. “You said you had an idea to discuss, Magus?” There was a warning glint in her eye and he hesitated, deciphering it before he spoke.

“Yes, I’ve been reconsidering the three tests,” he said slowly, probingly. Vera gave him a subtle nod. She wanted him to take full credit for the idea. “The Order has done things the same way since I was a kid and my own father was Temple Magus back home. The details change, but it always comes down to Silence, Subservience, Observance, and I don’t know that that’s enough. The tests aren’t equal between candidates. Its too easy to sway the tasks one way or the other. I’m not accusing anyone,” he added quickly. He gestured at Vera, “Perhaps that’s our fault for not putting more guidelines in to start. But we need to find a better way to do this.”

“We’re two thirds of the way through the tests,” Selena protested.

“And yet you can’t give me more than vague, superficial reasons for your top picks. You’ve picked the ones that remind you the most of yourselves, and yet we’ll lose one out of every three because they don’t measure up in some way. We see who these kids are on paper, but our current tests aren’t telling us who’s going to cut it in the long run and who’s going to wash out.”

“Alright,” Vera said. She was keeping her voice soft, rather than her usual commanding tone. “So what are you proposing?”

Matti looked down at the table, giving himself a moment to think it out. “Maybe…” he said slowly, “Maybe we twist the Observance test.” Again. “We make the final test about answering the questions that have arisen from watching them.”

“You mean like finding out why Sarah Grant seems reluctant to join,” Selena said, picking up his point from their earlier discussion.

Matti nodded. “That’s one example, yes. And I suspect you could think of more if you try. Find the big question and make them answer it.”

Selena hesitated. “We’re supposed to have them selected by tomorrow’s ceremony.”

“Then you’d better get started,” Vera spoke up, a clear dismissal.

Randall turned to her, looking ready to argue, but Vera held up one finger and the boy gave in.

Vera looked at the three disciples with an arched brow and, after a moment’s hesitation, they stood and left.

“You’re seriously sending them off on their own to finish the trials?” Randall grumbled once they were out of hearing range.

“Yes,” Vera said. “The Magistrati and Medicums always run the selection.”

“But weren’t we _just_ saying _it hasn’t_ _worked,”_ Randall asked.

Vera sighed, as if she was explaining something to a little child for the hundredth time. “You are not wrong, but we need to allow them some semblance of normalcy as well. That is where I went wrong bringing you all into the Order. I expected them to fall in line, _and they should have,_ but I, admittedly, changed things too fast. We’ve told them what we expect. Now we should give them the chance to do it.”

Matti echoed her heavy sigh. “I agree with you, Vera, but I don’t know if you’ll like the results.” She met his gaze and he could see she already understood. “I’m trying to get them off their initial top runners, but I can already tell you they’re _not_ going to let Tyler in. He didn’t react like the others when faced with the werewolves in the first test. And then he refused to take part in their ‘prank’ against Vera. They’re not going to trust him to side with them over you, and they’re clearly still bitter over Vera abandoning them.”

“Vera didn’t abandon them,” Gabrielle gaped. “The Council wasn’t going to give her a choice.”

“We know that,” Matti said gently. “But I don’t think these kids see it the same way. Vera was Temple Magus from the beginning for them. She was a constant, which is something most of the Temples don’t have. They don’t understand her choices over the past year, and when she left, they weren’t expecting it. I didn’t see it until now, but it seems they’re still struggling to make sense of it all.”

Hamish gave a minute nod. “Selena essentially said as much the first time we met. I thought I helped her to understand but…” He shrugged, shaking his head.

Vera let out a huff, pinching the bridge of her nose as she glanced down at the table. “Once the new Acolytes are sworn in, we’ll see what we can do about the rest of the disciples.”

Matti nodded. “I’ll see if I can start getting a feel for where all the others stand, as well.” Hopefully before anyone else decided it would be a good idea to act out as well.

“And as for Tyler Evans,” Vera said, looking at Hamish with a sly smirk that Hamish matched.

“We were discussing that last night,” Hamish continued, before delving into an explanation for what they’d come up with.


	55. Observance: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the next part. :) Honestly, I think I'm slowing down a bit on updates (don't worry! I won't be stopping any time soon!) bc the main chunk of this story feels "done" now that Vera has Alpha, so the rest of the story sort of feels like a bunch of connected one-shots and short stories continuing this world. lol. But I will definitely be continuing. I've got plans all the way past Vermish baby. :)

Sarah Grant sat on a bench outside the Math building and stared down at the slip of paper in her hand. Like the last set of instructions, it had appeared, unbidden, in her jacket pocket during class. Unlike the last note, this one wasn’t direct about what it was asking. And she swore they were taunting her.

She sensed someone sit down beside her and hurriedly folded the slip of paper in half, hiding the words from any potentially prying eyes. Sure enough, the intruding presence leaned closer in an attempt to peak.

“What’s yours say?” the boy asked.

Sarah was already glaring up at him but she edged away, putting as much space between them as the bench allowed. The boy looked vaguely familiar, with his cropped blond hair and lean, muscular build, but she didn’t think they shared any classes. Maybe.

She got her answer when he pulled out his own slip of paper and flashed it at her, too quickly for her get a look at its words. This was one of the idiots who genuinely wanted to join the Order.

When she didn’t immediately respond, he kept talking. “I’m supposed to ‘find the wolves’. Or at least that’s what one of them says.” He held the note up again, sliding his fingers to reveal two cards stacked on top of each other. That grabbed Sarah’s attention more than anything else thus far and she turned towards him.

“You’ve got two?” _Why?_

He nodded and held them out to her. The top one was as he’d said. **Find the wolves**. Short and direct. Probably suicidal, but left no question about what it was asking. The second set of instructions more closely resembled her own. There was a taunting vibe to it, pressuring him to prove he belonged. Just the fact that he was sitting beside her meant he probably didn’t.

“What about yours?” he asked again. She didn’t really want to show him but she did anyways. He skimmed it, brow furrowing, before handing it back. “Why does it sound like you don’t want to join?”

Sarah sighed, tucking the slip of paper out of sight again. “Because I don’t?” she admitted. “Because people join the Order, and then they die. Or they disappear. And their families never get any answers. Or at least not ones that make sense.”

The boy was quiet for a long while before asking, “Who did you lose?”

“My brother. He joined. He wouldn’t stop talking about it that first year. He died a year and a half ago. They ruled his death a _suicide,”_ she said, barking a bitter laugh. Suicide. In his own apartment. By stabbing himself in the chest. Even now it sounded like a bad joke. “I don’t want to join,” she said again, softly. “But at the same time, I want answers. I don’t know how I’ll get them if I don’t.”

He didn’t respond and she was grateful for that. She wanted answers, not pity. Especially not from someone who would hear her story and then jump right into the lion’s den themselves anyways. It left her startled when he abruptly sat up straighter. “Come with me.”

“Where?” she said doubtfully.

“To ask the Chancellor.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and didn’t stand with him. “Even if the Chancellor knew anything, we can’t just walk into his office. Getting an appointment would probably take weeks.”

“Her,” the guy corrected automatically, and Sarah shrugged. Did it really matter whether the Chancellor was a man or woman? “And normally, I think you might be right. But I suspect when it comes to the Order, she’ll talk to us.”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “You think she’s part of it?”

“And I think if anyone can tell you what happened to your brother, she can.”

Sarah stared down at her lap, watching her fists clench. All she ever wanted were answers, so why was it so terrifying to think she may finally get them?

“So, are you coming or not?”

Sarah nodded once and stood.

“I’m Tyler, by the way.”

“Sarah.”

Tyler hoped that he wasn’t wrong. He hoped Sarah would get the answers she was looking for. He hoped the Chancellor could explain what _choose a side_ meant. He hoped they were able to get in to see her in the first place.

Sarah shot him an unimpressed look when they were stopped before reaching the office.

“I’m sorry but the Chancellor is far too busy to accept walk ins. You’ll have to make an appointment.”

“Please,” Tyler said. “Could you just tell her that Tyler Evans and Sarah…”

“Grant,” Sarah supplied.

“Sarah Grant are requesting to speak with her. If she says no, we’ll leave. Just please ask her.”

The woman let out a tired sigh but relented. “I will ask,” she said in a tone that clearly stated she wasn’t promising anything.

Tyler grinned as the woman disappeared down the hall, causing Sarah to roll her eyes. His grin only widened as the secretary returned a minute later, wearing a perplexed expression that seemed to prove his suspicion had been correct.

She gave a small nod. “Chancellor Stone will see you.”

Tyler turned his smile on Sarah. This time, there was no rolling of her eyes, although she did take in a steadying breath before following him.

The door to the Chancellor’s office stood open and he didn’t have a chance to knock before Chancellor Stone called, “Come in.” She was sitting behind an ornate wood desk and barely glanced up when they entered. “Shut the door, please.” She waited until they’d done so before continuing. “I don’t make it a habit of meeting with the Order’s students in this office. Still, I suppose I can’t be surprised to see you again, Mr. Evans,” she said, inclining her head slightly in his direction. She turned her gaze fully on Sarah then. “You, however, I was not expecting to meet.” She didn’t need to voice the question to make it clear she was expecting a response.

“So you are a part of the Order…” Sarah whispered.

Chancellor Stone arched both brows but didn’t speak.

“I haven’t wanted to be here-”

“We’re aware. And yet here you are.”

Sarah took in a deep breath. “I have questions. Tyler suggested maybe you could answer them.”

The look the Chancellor sent him made him second guess the suggestion. “And you will get them _if_ you are selected, the same as everybody else.”

“I want to know what happened to my brother,” Sarah blurted out. Immediately, a perplexed look crossed the Chancellor’s face, but Sarah continued before the woman had time to make sense of it. “He joined the Order too. He’s dead now.”

The Chancellor’s confused expression only deepened. “While I am sorry for your loss, I can’t recall any Grants who’ve passed through here in recent years. He was at Belgrave and not one of the other chapters?”

Tyler had started to join in the confusion but Sarah’s eyes momentarily widened and she glanced down. “Right,” she murmured to herself, before looking back up. “Kyle was my half-brother-”

“Kyle Hendricks?” Chancellor Stone asked abruptly.

Sarah nodded. “He went back to using his father’s name when he left for college. I _know_ he didn’t kill himself.”

Chancellor Stone turned to eye Tyler, her lips pursed, before looking back to Sarah. “Do you mind?” she asked, gesturing towards Tyler.

Tyler wasn’t sure whether she wanted the support or if she just wanted a witness, but Sarah shook her head.

Chancellor Stone sighed and sat back into her chair. “Why don’t you both have a seat then?” She gestured to the two open chairs they’d both been too wary to take without invitation. “Mr. Evans is already aware of this fact, but if you have not yet realized, the truth is magic does exist in our world. The Order is one of a handful of secret societies dedicated to studying magic and learning to harness its power. Your brother,” she said slowly, “was one of our more promising young members. He had some natural talent, and he was willing to put in the work. But he was also cocky, and overconfident of himself.” Chancellor Stone shifted in her seat then, folding her arms over her chest. “Two years ago, _something_ made of magic was attacking Neophytes. At the time, one of the most likely possibilities was a werewolf-”

“Wait,” Sarah cut in. “Is that what that thing in the forest was? Is that what killed my brother? And you sent us out there to it?”

Chancellor Stone waited with a sour expression until the questions stopped. “Would you like me to finish the story or do you just want to make up your own?”

Sarah flushed but sank back into her chair.

“As I was saying, werewolves were one possibility. There have been sightings of them in the past and they did seem to fit what we were looking for. I asked a handful of our more experienced members, including your brother, to research the matter. It did turn out to be a false lead. The guilty party was apprehended and that should have been the end of the matter. However, some weeks later there was another incident. Rather than bring his suspicions to me, or any senior member, Kyle chose to take two of the new freshman and hunt down the werewolves on his own. He found them.” She paused then, giving Sarah the time to accept the truth.

“Tell me you tracked them down,” Sarah finally said in a shaky voice.

“We did eventually find them, yes,” Chancellor Stone said in a quiet, measured tone. “But Ms. Grant, I’m not going to kill a bunch of kids for trying to stay alive.”

“Kids?” Sarah let out a bitter laugh, one that almost sounded like a sob.

Chancellor Stone held her gaze. “Yes,” she said, soft but firm. She let out a small sigh. “Ms. Grant, what happened to your brother was terrible, but the new head of the Order and myself have taken measures to insure something like that won’t happen again.”

Tyler wasn’t certain that was what Sarah had wanted to hear, but it was clear it was all the Chancellor intended to give her. Sarah stood shakily, murmured a thank you, and turned to leave. Tyler started to stand, intending to follow her and be certain she was okay, but the Chancellor held up her hand.

“Mr. Evans, if you would wait?” she requested.

Tyler sat back in his chair, though he watched Sarah disappear through the door until it shut behind her.

Chancellor Stone watched too. “Well, she stands a chance now,” she commented. Tyler looked at her in confusion and she elaborated. “On paper, Miss Grant was one of our more promising candidates. In person, her lack of enthusiasm was not inspiring. But she is not going to be a fan of the werewolves, and that will make the Order very interested,” she said, never taking her eyes from the closed door.

Instantly, Tyler understood why she’d asked him to stay. “Me, on the otherhand…” He couldn’t be that surprised – she’d already warned him – but he couldn’t deny there’d been a flash of hope when those cards had appeared in his pocket.

Chancellor Stone finally looked at him and gave the barest hint of a smile. “I would be surprised,” she said, before huffing. “However, there is the possibility of an alternative. It would not come with the benefits or the connections that the Order provides its members. The Knights of St. Christopher is a much smaller organization, with a less self-serving mission. Your Order classmates will likely shun you, and perhaps even actively scorn you, but you’ll be expected to learn to work with them regardless. It won’t be easy, and there will be a lot asked of you, but the Knights are willing to have you if you choose to accept.”

Tyler took a few moments to consider. It was clear the Chancellor wasn’t going to rush him. “If I said no?”

She arched a brow, daring him to say no. “Then it will be as if we never had this conversation.”

“And if I say yes?”

“There are some details that still need to be worked out. The Knights of St. Christopher have not opened themselves up like this in the past. But times change, and they’ve seen a use for you.”

Tyler nodded slowly. He wished he had more information, but he also knew he wouldn’t get anything else from her. He couldn’t expect it to be any different from the Order in that regard. But there was one thing he could ask. “Why me?”

“Because you think for yourself instead of blindly following the pack. But more importantly, we’ve watched you try to help in any way you could.” Chancellor Stone gave him a small, approving smile. “I’m used to watching the Neophytes sabotage each other every year to increase their odds of getting in. But I suspect that’s never even crossed your mind.”

His mouth opened and closed a couple times. “Of course not!” he managed to blurt out.

Another tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “And that is why the Knights are interested, and the Order is not.” She glanced over at her computer screen before looking back at him. “Now, I really do need to get back to my job. Someone will be in touch.”

Vera scrawled her name across yet another sheet of paper before moving it to the accumulating stack beside her. Her workday was _nearly_ finished and then she and Hamish could head home and have a few hours to themselves before the weekend’s induction ceremony and subsequent acolyte babysitting began.

It would be a change watching the new acolytes test their limits from this side of the magic world. The Order had always expected their newest members to want to flex their little wings and if that resulted in a few incidents that they would need to clean up after, so be it. It was one of those things that Vera had learned early on she couldn’t change and eventually had come to accept that her time was simply better spent on other matters. For the first time, the Order’s opinion of right or wrong and acceptable collateral damage didn’t matter. For the first time, she’d be watching it happen as a Knight of St. Christopher, and with the added sense of one of the werewolves.

Vera had only experienced the shrill, migraine inducing sound of magic once in her short time as Alpha’s chosen. Hamish suspected that her years in the Order had given her a connection to the magic that the rest of them had had to learn over time. Even without access to her own magic, even without having recognized it in the past, she instinctively recognized either the magic itself or the practitioner as harmless. But her one encounter with the piercing alarm was enough to tell her she would not be looking forward to the coming weeks.

A quiet knock pulled her attention to the doorway as Hamish slipped inside. Vera did her best to give him a disapproving glare, though she knew he wasn’t buying it.

“We talked about this.” While she appreciated lunches together, as well as the odd visit when she was having a rough day, she preferred he keep himself busy until they were both ready to leave for the day. He was a distraction she couldn’t afford. Even when he sat quietly nearby, not pushing at all, she found herself rushing to finish for the day. Life had changed since their early months together, when every spare hour was spent at the Temple and having him there to keep her company was a pleasant escape from her norm. For the first time in twenty years, home actually felt like _home_ and not just a brief respite from the endless chaos of her day to day life.

Naturally, Hamish only chuckled at her weak protest. “Vera, you’re probably the only person still working and not just staring at your clock waiting to leave.”

She met his gaze with an unimpressed stare that slowly turned into a reluctant smile. “You’re a terrible influence.”

Hamish grinned back at her and finally approached. “I already called in an order for Thai. We can pick it up on the way home.”

Vera let out a relenting huff as she glanced at the clock on her computer. It _was_ down to just minutes. By the time she logged out of everything and gathered her things, half the building would already be on their way out the door. And the paperwork in front of her was something that could wait a few days. She shut down the computer.

“Have you heard anything from Matthew?” Hamish asked as he watched her set about shutting down her office for the weekend.

Vera rolled her eyes. “More than I cared to.” Not that that was ever a surprise anymore. A small, sly smile pulled at her lips. “Apparently the Council is in an absolute tailspin over the fact that the Knights are going to begin training regular practitioners as well, but they can’t do anything about it because we are a separate organization and they didn’t put anything about it in the terms of our truce.”

“Good,” Hamish barked a laugh. His smile faltered then, growing more serious. “And you’re sure Tyler’s up for it?”

“I’m never sure of the Neophytes,” Vera admitted. “But he’s worth taking a chance on. And Jack seemed confident.”

That had been the final factor in their decision to open the Knights to non-werewolf members. The moment Jack had heard what they’d been considering, he’d gotten a sense of approval from his hide, different from the sense of agreement herself and the others felt. And that had been the start of the next phase of the Knights. If, and when, the time came, they wouldn’t be choosing from clueless, naïve undergrads to fill the role of Knight. Vera intended to have them trained and ready, and in the meantime, she didn’t see how it could hurt to have a few more practitioners on their side. Kids who actually considered someone other than themselves for once and were eager to learn and contribute. It was the very thing she had wanted from the Order all along.

Tyler Evans would be the first, but if and when the hides recognized potential, their numbers would grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in case anyone's wondering, Vera has every intention of wiping Sarah's memory if the Order doesn't select her. That detail just didn't flow in anywhere easily. 
> 
> And Tyler will be the only new Knight-in-training for now. Knight adjacent? Squires of St. Christopher? lol. They'll need a name. I figure the hides will be happy to be able to be picky for once and they're not going to build up an Order-sized organization, but a small group of practitioners with the same ideals and traits as the Knights is something Vera and the Knights can absolutely use to their advantage. Especially as go-betweens between the wolves and the untrusting disciples.


End file.
